By the time everyone was done with dinner there was no trace of sun left in the sky. Haru's invitation was only for dinner, so staying on the deck watching stars stretch across the sky was extending his welcome. Miss Honda, as Yuki called her, invited him for dinner the day they met but it was only now he was able to accept the offer. It hadn't taken him too long, a couple of days, but it still got him reprimanded for being rude. Haru rubbed the back of his neck, fingers slipping through coarse black hair and up into the white strands that flowed longer and softer on top. He had a good round with Kyo for it. Even though they, Yuki included, thought Kyo was getting stronger and Haru would lose to him because of it it wasn't Kyo that Haru saw growing. It was Yuki. Perhaps it was because he only had eyes for Yuki that this was the case, but however it came to be Haru saw so much difference in the man now. Those smiles, those impossible smiles that were few and far between Haru had seen only twice and now a third time for Miss Honda. Haru's heart clenched. It was good, really. Yuki's confidence, his strength, and his heart's healing had all improved and it was undeniably because of the girl. Honda-san was sweet, very perceptive and if anyone was to help Yuki Haru couldn't complain about it being her. But why? Haru grabbed at his chest like he could hold his heart that ached the longer he dwelled on this. Why couldn't he be the one to heal Yuki as Yuki was for him?
"Haru?"
The ox nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a gentle voice behind him. He smoothed out his shirt and pulled his jacket around him with one hand, then turned to Yuki. "Yeah?"
"You're not leaving without saying goodbye are you?" Yuki asked, warning invading his otherwise neutral tone. "Miss Honda would be hurt by that, and you know Kyo would never forgive you for making her think you didn't like her again."
Haru sighed. "I wasn't leaving yet. I wouldn't want to upset her, or any of you."
"Is that so?" Yuki smiled, but it wasn't that rare honest expression Haru had been thinking of, it was the usual upturn of his lips. "It seems you enjoy upsetting Kyo."
"And you don't?" Haru replied.
Yuki couldn't argue it seemed, so they both were silent. Yuki was someone who Haru could spend silence in and even that silence was a comfort. He meant it though, that he would never upset any of them and although Yuki didn't understand, it had come from Haru's previous thoughts. He would never insert himself between someone and their happiness, in fact he would do what he could to make sure they stayed together. After all that's what mattered. His stupid aching heart could get over it's childhood crush. Love? What did Haru know about love. He would be sixteen soon, and that was nowhere near enough time to understand that concept. Yeah, he could let go of the past and let Yuki live this present relationship he saw developing between the man and Miss Honda.
"So," Haru said. He looked at Yuki who stood at his side watching the stars too like their shine might change or disappear if he looked away. "You have feelings for Honda-san?"
Yuki's violet eyes widened and rosey pigment stained his cheeks. "No."
"Oh? Then why does she affect you like this?" Haru prompted. "Why does she make you so happy?"
Yuki smiled again. He crossed his arms, but left his voice open as he replied. "Miss Tohru Honda is a special girl. She has opened all our eyes to how kind, selfless, and honest a person can be. She makes any situation better just by being there and I appreciate her for it. I also get flustered sometimes because yes she is a girl, and you're not the only one who suggests I have feelings for her, but all I have is gratitude and admiration. Do you understand, Haru?"
That question smacked Haru in the face. For a moment his stomach turned thinking of all the teachers and family members who patronizingly asked 'Do you understand?' because they thought he was stupid. And sometimes, sometimes Haru just didn't understand and proved them right. But Yuki would never, Yuki wasn't that way, he was the one who made him realize he wasn't stupid. Haru might be a bit self deprecating, with a lousy sense of direction and a crippling habit of putting others before himself but he was not stupid and Yuki didn't mean it that way.
"I understand." Haru replied finally.
Yuki still watched him, ever observant, and he said, "Why do you ask?"
Wind brushed over them, pushing white strands across Haru's face, thankful relieving him from that intense stare that promised Yuki knew the answer before he said it. Haru cleared his throat. If Yuki was so straightforward with his answer, he deserved the same in return. "I thought I saw something between you two. If I was right, I was going to do what I could to push you two together."
"Of course." Yuki shook his head. "Everyone thinks when you go dark you're perverted, and I'm not going to disagree but I think that's Dark Haru's misinterpretation of your being a romantic."
Haru's jaw hung. "What the hell do you mean by that?"
"Calm down, Haru" Yuki laughed softly. "You're always trying to make sure everyone is ok, make sure they're loved even if you have to do it yourself. I know because I'm one of the people you do this with."
Haru pinched the bridge of his nose. "Maybe that's true, but don't lump yourself with anyone else, Yuki. You try to deny it and question my love but you're special to me."
"I know."
The world trembled. No, that was just Haru's whole body shaking with recoil from those words crashing into him. "You're not going to tell me I'm confusing my thanks to you for love? That I was just a kid and we were friends?"
"No." Yuki smiled again.
God how could he act so calm, like things were so simple? Sure, Haru was pretty calm when he wasn't dark but this was a topic that he couldn't discuss easily especially with Yuki himself. It got him riled up to say the least. Haru tugged the fur collar of his jacket so that it covered the bottom of his face and he wished for the wind to return and cover the rest.
Yuki put a warm hand on Haru's shoulder. "It's late, I don't think you should head home in the dark. Why don't you stay here for the night."
"Hey!" Haru exclaimed. "Was that a crack about me getting lost before I found you?!"
Yuki had already begun inside. He looked over his shoulder and this time when he smiled, his eyes closed and his smile was wide, open. "Yes."
There. That was the smile that Miss Honda received, Haru didn't know how many times. What did it mean? And what did Haru do to deserve it.
"Come on," Yuki said snapping Haru out of his spell. "no one will mind because you'll be out of their way."
Haru followed him back inside to see Shigure reading while Tohru finished dishes. Kyo was probably on the roof. Had he heard their conversation? Haru asked Yuki before they could reach Shigure, "How would I be out of everyone's way when I'd be sleeping on their couch?"
"You'll share my room."
Oh, hell. How was he supposed to survive that? Sure, Haru would sleep on a bedroll in the floor, nowhere near Yuki so he couldn't slip up and try anything but still that was too close. Haru followed Yuki around like a tall, alternative, lost puppy and said goodnight to everyone after him. No one argued or questioned Haru following Yuki upstairs instead of leaving after he said goodnight. Haru noticed Kyo in his room, the door partially open. Kyo opened his eyes a moment to see Yuki and Haru pass by but he just turned over and faced the wall, ignoring them. Haru relaxed. Inside Yuki's room the grey haired man stood in front of Haru, looking him over.
"How did you get so tall, Hatsuharu?"
Haru felt both scolded and teased by Yuki's assessment. Although he was younger than Yuki he did stand taller.
"I don't think any of my clothes will fit you. I'll borrow something from Shigure."
Haru held up his hands slightly. "That's ok, I sleep naked."
They both paused. Yuki blinked while a steady heat crossed his face. He covered his mouth like he had been the one to spurt it out.
"Why would you put that image in my head?"
Haru hissed through closed teeth. "You don't have to think about it."
Yuki went to grab a bedroll from the closet. It made sense now to Haru why Yuki reacted the way he did to Miss Honda and the family teasing about him having feelings for her. He respected everyone and any act of kindness from them, or any inappropriate suggestion roused a blush. Still, that didn't explain why when Yuki returned the red hadn't faded from his cheeks, harshly contrasting the purple of his eyes. Haru insisted he could lay out the bedroll himself and Yuki go use the bathroom first. Haru set up his sleeping spot a few feet from Yuki's own bed and by the time he finished he traded places with Yuki in the bathroom.
As Haru went through his nightly routine, piss, shower, brush his teeth, he couldn't stop thinking about how this was halfway to what he wanted. Would he have to stop talking to Yuki, stop seeing him, and go find someone else who would settle for being with a bipolar idiot so this horrible sick fist that clenched his heart would go away? Haru couldn't imagine not loving Yuki, after all it had been a good eight years at least since he'd first fallen in love, and dammit no matter how hard he wanted to deny it this was love that he harbored so long. This was a bad idea. He should just get out now, forget going to school here and run no matter how mad anyone was. No matter what punishment he received when they found him because inevitably, Akito would find him. All of that sounded a lot better, a lot easier to handle that struggling halfway between having Yuki how he wanted him and not having Yuki at all.
"Haru?" came Yuki's voice with a soft knock. "It's been forty five minutes. Are you ok?"
Haru had been standing at the sink, staring at himself and cursing his life for that long? He put each earring back in until all six were in his ears. He ran his fingers through his hair still slightly damp at the roots and left the bathroom.
"Fine." he said laying down. "Not everyone is naturally beautiful without trying, Yuki. You got lucky."
Once Yuki turned the lights off and the two men were in their respective sleeping arrangements Haru found it easier to breathe. In the dark things didn't seem to hard, so confusing. He shucked off his clothes. There was no one else around except himself in the dark. That's why it was so easy when anything happened to slip into his defenses, let Dark Haru take over.
"Haru?" Yuki called quietly.
There was something about Yuki acknowledging him while Haru was naked under a thin blanket that made him feel as though the light was back on. He swallowed around the that realization. "Yeah?"
"You said something the day you arrived. Before you fought Kyo, you said 'this is the day I make you mine'. Do you remember?"
Haru nodded. Then the thought occurred to him it was dark and Yuki couldn't see the nod. "Yeah."
"I asked you what you would do with me, but you never answered."
Haru swallowed again. "Yeah."
"Is that all you can say?" Yuki asked.
Haru felt like hitting his head against the wall. Of all people the last person he wanted to actively show he was a bit dense to was Yuki, no matter if the man didn't believe it. No one could deny what they heard and saw, and Haru was being an idiot. Before he could say 'no' there was a rustle of fabrics and Haru felt a hand on his arm. Yuki knelt next to him. Haru's heart lurched like it could jump to Yuki. The grey haired man took Haru's hand that had lay across his stomach and pulled gently.
"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, Haru. You can show me."
Haru wanted to ask Yuki what exactly he wanted to be shown but even he wasn't stupid enough to have to ask. Yuki pulled Haru up from the floor. With his eyes adjusted to the dark Haru realized now Yuki was naked too. Had Yuki expected this? Wanted this? No, that didn't make sense. Haru let the older man lead him to his bed. There, Yuki sat down and released Haru's hand. Slowly, Yuki lay back, the muscles in his chest and waist working to support his slow descent. From what moonlight couldn't be blocked out by the curtains Yuki seemed to glow. It was dim, only highlighting his hair, his pale skin when he moved and the shine of violet eyes. There he was, the literal man of Haru's dreams laying naked before him. Waiting for him. Yuki's eyes unashamedly washed over Haru who stood there, from his starstruck expression to his thighs that brushed the end of the bed where he stood. Haru felt the blood rush to his cock when Yuki's gaze lingered there with a smile that ended in his lower lip held captive to his teeth.
"Are you going to make me wait even longer?" Yuki asked. "That's not very polite."
That was true. He didn't know why but that comment was what shook Haru out of his stupor and made him laugh. He didn't need to be dark for this, he didn't need his perverted side as they called it to seduce Yuki. Yuki wanted him anyway. Haru climbed onto the bed and Yuki spread his legs for Haru to kneel between them. With both hands sinking into the mattress, one on either side of Yuki's hips Haru leaned in. Yuki craned his neck against the headboard where he lay, offering himself further to the man who loomed over him.
"First, I'd kiss you." Haru murmured. He admired the silver flecks in Yuki's otherwise violet eyes only visible at such close proximity before closing his.
Haru caught Yuki's lips, doing as he promised and kissing the man. Yuki's lips were soft and so compliant to Haru's kisses. Yuki held the ox's shoulders in a firm grip to silently demand Haru continue kissing him a while longer. Haru wouldn't complain. Every nerve in his body sparked, starting a fire that surged into his cheeks and down to his groin until Haru knew without a doubt he could burn the house down. In his dreams, in his fantasies Haru could never have gotten it right. They way Yuki's fingertips pressed into his skin. The way Yuki's lower lip felt between his when Haru let them part. He sucked softly of Yuki's lip making the man rise up beneath him. A hot rush of air smacked the back of Haru's throat when Yuki gasped and he swallowed that breath, he sent his tongue out to capture more by sweeping across the roof of Yuki's mouth. Yuki's breath trembled.
"While we kiss, I'd tell your body that it now belonged to me." Haru said against Yuki's sweet mouth.
And so he did. He let Yuki take control of their kisses, letting Yuki guide his head and steal his breath however he wanted while Haru focused on making good on his promise. Yuki was impossibly soft and solid at the same time. His silky skin beneath Haru's hand did the same as his breath, it trembled at his touch. But the muscles beneath tensed and rose to meet Haru's hand, so solid from years of training and fighting that Kyo put him through. Haru memorized the feel of Yuki's neck and shoulders. How his throat felt beneath his hand if he squeezed ever so slightly while Yuki swallowed. He learned the angles of Yuki's elbow and hip, where they curved and which places made the older man squirm. Haru slipped his hand down Yuki's thigh, breaking away from their kisses to speak again.
"I'd get you hard for me." Haru grinned.
His hand rose from where it drew small circles on Yuki's thigh. His fingers brushed what skin grew tight at the base of Yuki's dick before grasping that swollen piece. Yuki's eyes were almost closed, a sliver of violet still visible, watching Haru as he teased him with arousal. A quiet sound, needy, and out of Yuki's control fell from his lips. Yuki slapped a hand over his mouth.
Haru grinned again, "No, you need that open. Now that you're hard for me I need you to earn your relief."
It only took a second for Yuki to understand with wide eyes what that meant. Despite those eyes showing exactly how intimidated he was by that suggestion, Yuki took his hand down and said, "Yes, Haru."
Those words made Haru feel equally strong and weak. If Yuki, the strongest man he knew would submit to him, at least in this room Haru was a king. Equally the sound of Yuki's voice and the offer of his body made Haru melt into malleable clay. He braced himself against the wall with one hand and held Yuki's head with the other. Yuki let his mouth without any argument be breached and violated by Haru. Haru licked his lips, he thought nothing would be sweeter than the Yuki's kisses, but the way the man took his cock like it was nothing, like it was even his pleasure to suck and lick the proof of attraction Haru displayed for him, that tasted like, fuck, it tasted like apple pie on a Summer Sunday. It couldn't be helped that Haru rocked into the wet warmth of Yuki's mouth, or that his hand turned to a fist in the man's hair. He wanted all of it, the thrill that shot straight through him, the way Yuki looked flushed and determined to do as he was told. There was something else he wanted that made him groan and release Yuki, pull himself from those now swollen lips.
"What's wrong?" Yuki asked. "Did I-"
Haru cut him off with a kiss and growled. "You're perfect. Don't second guess yourself, Yuki. There's just one more thing that if I let you finish me I wouldn't get to do."
Yuki smiled, and a rush of red returned to his otherwise pale cheeks. "I have something for you."
Yuki pulled away for a moment and pressed cool objects into Haru's hand. Haru was left without room for doubt that Yuki anticipated this. He didn't have time to wonder how long Yuki had wanted him, or relish the bliss because Yuki asked, "How do you want me, Haru?"
And he was set back on track, "Just like this."
His cock now sheathed with a slick plastic cover, Haru positioned them by bending Yuki mercilessly and hoisting long legs over his shoulders. Cool, thick liquid warmed on Haru's fingers while he watched Yuki grow more and more unhinged as Haru pressed them between the crease of his ass cheeks. Haru found the pace he'd been looking for. Yuki opened his mouth as if he had something to say but only a forceful breath came out, pushed by Haru's first finger in his ass. Haru shuddered, intoxicated by the way Yuki moved towards him to get more of his touch. More is what he would give. He pressed his second finger passed the tight ring twitching from it's warmly welcomed intruders. Haru pushed a third and Yuki yelped. Right, this shit could hurt and he didn't want to hurt Yuki. As if he knew what Haru was thinking, Yuki said.
"I can take it, I want it."
He was so flustered, Yuki, with his hands lost in all that grey hair, his expression beyond unhinged. Haru wouldn't deny what his love wanted, and he wouldn't deny himself if this was the chance he got where Yuki wanted him. He pulled free his fingers and took his cock forced to be patient until now. He broke Yuki slowly. Yuki tensed against the pain even as slow as it was, but forced himself to take it as he said he would. Sweat slipped down Haru's temples and his muscles demanded he just slam into Yuki and stop restraining but there was no way he'd destroy this man more than necessary, or more than Yuki wanted. It was a shock, a split second neither man expected when a barrier was broken and Haru fit inside Yuki like a glove. A tight, warm, straining glove. Yuki offered what smile he could between pain and pleasure both pinching his brows together. Haru mirrored that smile in all of its parts.
He began to work his dick, pulling and pushing in a steady motion. It was insane how the pull of Yuki's ass and quiet plea of the man to go harder could make Haru question if he'd ever been truly interested in anyone before. It wasn't just his cock happy to be inside this man, his heart felt every touch and every sound Yuki made ten fold. It was his heart that threatened to burst first as Yuki fell apart beneath Haru, his back arching, his mouth locked open in a series of broken cries as he came without ever touching himself. Damn. Haru didn't think Yuki could be any more beautiful than when he smiled, than when he landed a solid blow while he was fighting and then this, this side of him that let Haru love him proved that wrong. Haru came, and came hard, slamming his hips into Yuki unable to do anything but ride out the aftershocks and spill inside him. Yuki didn't seem to mind. When Haru was ready to collapse, Yuki opened his arms for Haru to fall into them.
Again they were graced with a comfortable silence, once their panting turned to quiet breaths. Haru had felt like he was where he was supposed to be when he mounted Yuki, when the man gave him control, but now with his head on Yuki's chest and Yuki's slender fingers stroking his hair Haru felt like he was where he was supposed to be again, taken care of and comforted by the older man.
"Hatsuharu," Yuki said gently, never ceasing the pet. "I won't argue that you made me yours, but there's one way you forgot."
Haru hadn't realized he was being coaxed to sleep until now, but he woke himself up, and looked up towards Yuki's face. "What?"
Yuki smiled that devastating smile. "You never asked."
"Oh," Haru replied, embarrassed and feeling quite small.
"It's alright, I have some responsibility in this. That's why I figure I'll make up for it and make you mine too. Haru, would you like to be my boyfriend?"
Somehow, just as he had years and years ago Yuki made Haru stop thinking of himself as small even though Yuki was clearly the smarter, more capable one of the two. His words brought Haru's heart back to that aching point but this time it didn't make him want to run. He didn't have to run anymore.
"Yeah." Haru said. What else could he say?
Yuki closed his eyes, but instead of sleeping he continued to lull Haru with the soft caress of his fingers. "Good, it's about time you let me love you too."
