A/N: Mandy-chan here to once again speak out against homophobia. Because, quite frankly, it sucks ass. People don't have the energy to hate for their enitre lives, it's much easier to love! So, how about we start by loving this story, hm?
Lol, kidding... but not really.
This never should have happened. This didn't have to happen. Why did this have to happen? And to Naruto, no less! What had kind, gentle, goofy, outlandish Naruto done to deserve all of this? Yes, he liked men, but that didn't automatically give others the permission to deny Naruto's rights as a human being and treat him like an animal.
I bit my lower lip as my eyes fell on the blond, lying in the bed peacefully (thanks to the morphine), the only visible sign of the attack a bruise on his cheek. But the real trouble was under the sheets. That knowledge made me angry all over again and I just wanted to punch something. This wasn't fair! Why would somebody do this to him just because he liked men?!
Then, I heard a soft whine and I turned to see the blond stirring from his sleep. Naruto's eyes opened. They closed. They opened again. They closed again. The next time the opened, he looked around the room with bemusement and then he saw me. He attempted a sleepy smile, but when he saw the grim look on my face, he gave up trying.
"Ssssaaaa—" he stopped, his mouth snapping shut and his tongue running along his teeth with confusion. "Wwwhhhhuuuu..."
"You're groggy," I answered his attempted question, my voice quiet as I stared at my hands folded neatly in my lap, "From the morphine. The doctor says that you'll get used to it as you wake up."
His brow furrowed and he tried to move his hand up to scratch his head like he always did when he didn't understand, but the IV stopped him, making its presence known. I watched as his eyes followed the clear plastic tube up to the IV stand holding the bag of clear liquid.
I leaned forward and lightly touched his arm to bring his attention back to me. He turned back to me a little shakily and I could see the truth sinking in. He knew where he was. "Do you remember what happened?" I asked softly.
He pursed his lips in thought for a moment then nodded. It was probably a really vague memory, but I figured that it would be hard to forget something like that no matter how doped up he was. Even if he didn't remember, it would be easy enough to connect the dots.
After all, this wasn't Naruto's first trip to the hospital because of homophobia-induced attacks. I mean, because of his pride in his self-proclaimed "un-closeted attitude", he hadn't exactly been popular with the male student body.
I gripped his arm a little tighter and said for the hundredth time, "You have to talk to somebody about this. It's getting too far out of control for you to just sit back and take it."
Naruto shook his head, forced a smile and said, also for the hundredth time, "Yyyyou ssshhhould sssee the other guy."
"I did," I replied grimly, "Until I was through with him, he didn't have a single scratch on him."
"An' now?" he asked, his slur beginning to ease as his mind apparently grew more lucid.
I jerked my head toward the door, "He's staying in a room down the hall."
He chuckled, but there was no humor in the sound, only a weary sadness that tore my heart in two. When he saw that I wasn't fooled, he let the fake smile drop and he sighed, looking up at my sadly and admitting, "I'm so tired, Sasuke."
I nodded and repeated, "It's the morphine."
He shook his head, but I already knew. I understood his exhaustion... because I was tired, too. He'd been going through this for over a year and I had remained by his side, nursing his wounds and holding his head while he cried. He hated the idea of hiding his true self from people and so refused to even consider going back into the closet, no matter what the sacrifice.
I remember how he used to joke, telling me that it was because he was claustrophobic. I would always tease him, telling him that it was my sworn duty to pull him back in, but he was certain that it was his duty to pull me out. And then the harassment began.
It had started with his yard getting TP'd, then somebody had spray painted obscene and horribly offensive words on the windows of his home, it eventually bumped up to verbal attacks. With each assault, the attacks became more and more severe until the attackers began using physical violence. He'd received scrapes, bruises, strains, sprains, stitches, a couple of hairline fractures all within the period of the one-and-a-half years we'd been in high school up until that point. And, this time, one of the attackers had pulled a knife.
And he'd gone through it all, virtually alone. There was only me on the sidelines, watching every time one of the guys pushed him into a locker, every time they threw his backpack into the girls' washroom and forced him to go in and get it, wrote his name and phone number in all the male washroom stalls with the words "Call for a good blowjob". I defended him every time, of course, but nobody ever took me seriously.
Because I was still closeted. I never made any real announcement of my homosexuality and had simply allowed others to believe what they would. But when the guys at our school saw me, they saw me as Sasuke, the jock, the brain, the popular guy. When they saw me with Naruto, they figured that I was too cool—too "normal"—to be gay, as well, and decided that I was just Naruto the Homo's straight friend... instead of the gay lover that I was.
"What if they bring a gun next time?" I asked, clenching my jaw as my voice broke and tears welled in my eyes, "What if I'm not there to help next time? Why do you have to go through this alone?"
Tears welled in his own eyes as he raised a hand to cup my cheek and brush away the tears with his thumb. "I'm not alone, I have you. And that's all I really need."
I choked back a sob and pulled his hand from my cheek and brought it to my lips so that I could kiss its palm. My shoulders shook with fear and relief, anger and passivity, sadness and happiness. On one hand, Naruto was alive, but on the other, how long would that last? If he didn't tell anybody, the next attack could be the one that takes his life.
"I want you to do something for me," he said, his eyes half-lidded as he apparently used the last of his energy, the words pulling me out of my thoughts as the tears finally escaped his eyes.
I nodded. "You can have anything." It was true. At this point, I was willing to give him anything.
He scooched over to the other side of the bed, away from me, and lifted the IV tube, patting the bed beside him. He smiled weakly and told me, "I want to cuddle."
I smiled and ducked under the tube, letting Naruto rest it on me and I laid down beside him, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him close enough that we were touching, but not enough that it would bother his wound. I kissed him on the forehead as he drifted off to sleep and closed my eyes, enjoying the sound of his even breathing and the feel of his chest moving against my own.
I decided at that moment that Naruto was not going to go about this alone anymore. As soon as he was out of the hospital, I run toward the light and would join him outside of that cramped closet. Because it was lonely being in that deep, dark place all by yourself.
A/N: It's true. It is lonely. So, a message to all of my closeted buddies... come on out, we have cookies! 8D Aah, it's so liberating to be able to show one's true colors!