Angsty Saturday

Saturday October 31st 2009. Flat 15a Turpin Road, E20 5XY, Borough of Walford, London 6:00 am.

Christian Clarke had woken up a few moments ago. He sat on the edge of the bed and ran his fingers through his short brown hair and covered his face with his hand. He had been thinking about the latest development in the blackmailing saga. Since that fateful moment at the unit on Friday when Syed showed him that text, it was all he could think of. He now deeply regretted not taking his lover's concerns more seriously in previous weeks. Christian has been so convinced that no one else knew about them and that Syed was worrying too much as always, but now there was no denying it was a serious business.

He recalled how Syed had lashed out at him saying it was all his fault, that due to his carelessness and indiscretion he now risked loosing Amira, his family, the business and bringing shame to all of them. Christian had tried his best to calm him down by saying that he would do anything to help him, that together they could sort it out, intercept the mail on Monday and that besides the picture itself was not that incriminating anyway. Deep down he knew the latter wasn't quite true but that look on the young man's face, a mix of despair and anger had pierced his heart and he just wanted to make him feel better. He wanted to hold him tight and kiss the fear away.

But Syed had just snapped back: "There is nothing you can do. My life will be over when Mum finds out" and walked out of the unit.

Christian followed him but Syed yelled: "Leave me alone Christian".

"Sy, please!"

"Just go!"

Christian didn't know what to do now. He couldn't just leave it at that. He had so much to loose too. He got up from the bed, donned a dark tight-fitting grey vest and white track shorts, put his socks and his favourite retro trainers on and was out of the flat in an instant. He thought an early morning jog through the park and around Walford would do him some good even if it probably wouldn't take his mind off things.

Christian used to think that it would be better if their secret became known as a huge burden would be lifted off his shoulders and maybe he and Syed could finally be together but as time went by, he began to realize how naïve he had been and how complicated and difficult the situation was for Syed. These stolen moments together were all that was on offer but he knew he wanted him and no one else. This borrowed time may be coming to end much sooner than he would have ever expected and the thought of losing the man he loved was unbearable for Christian. And he did love him, more than he had loved any other man.

Massods household. 41 Albert Square, E20 3JH, Borough of Walford, London 11:21 am.

Syed heard his phone beeping. He instinctively knew it was Christian. He took it from the pocket of his jeans and checked the message: "Sy, please call me. We need to talk about it."

He walked up the stairs of the house entered his bedroom and shut the door behind him as he was dialling the number.

"Christian?"

"Sy...about yesterday..." he muttered.

Syed interrupted him "yeah.... Look, we both said a lot of things in the heat of the moment. I am so worried. I can't stop thinking about this...didn't sleep a wink last night. Even my parents are starting to notice something's wrong"

"Sy, we're gonna have to face this together. You and me, what we have, it's worth it. We'll sort it."

"How? Letter's already in the post."

"Like I said, maybe we can find it before Zeinab does. Listen, Sy why don't you come over? We need to talk, get our head round things"

"Today's really busy Christian. We're all having lunch at Auntie Bushra's and then I promised Amira, I would spend some time with her. I've hardly seen her since she found out about the money from Tam on Monday. She is still upset you know. And I am worried she is starting to be suspicious and..."

"Yeah, I get it but just relax a bit"

"Relax? How can I Christian when my whole life is about to fall apart and..."

"Syed, listen to me" He pleaded.

"I don't want to lose Amira, bring shame upon my family..."

"Sy, please!"

"I can't take this anymore!"

"Listen to me!" shouted Christian. He then murmured gently. "All I am saying is you can't do anything about it this weekend. Please come over Sy, we'll spend some time together, you know, get our mind off things and we'll talk about it."

"Is that all you ever think about?"

"Sy, I know you want it too, don't deny it"

Syed sighed. No he couldn't deny his longing for Christian.

"Sy?"

"Look, I am really tied up today. And I've gotta go now. Maybe tomorrow afternoon, I'll call you,"

"Ok".