What did you want me to say Kathy?

The question had been ringing in Olivia's head for days, hours, minutes, seconds…Everything was shattered. Everything.

Her head dropped as the tears she had been holding in started to fall, it wasn't supposed to go this way, nothing was supposed to go this way. There wasn't supposed to be a fight, they weren't supposed to get back together, everything just seemed right. And then they did, and there was Eli, Olivia tried to put everything back into perspective, but that wasn't possible, she couldn't bear to be away from him. His touch, smell, taste, feel , his gaze as it traveled over her. There was nothing she could do to get away from him. And then there was Kurt, Elliot didn't like him, and made it perfectly clear whenever he felt the need to.

And then came the night that changed everything, shattered her world, his world, everyone's world. The feel of his teeth as it scraped over her skin was intoxicating, and she missed it. Oh did she miss it. There was nothing else in the world that could be compared to the feel of him moving over her body in such a way that drove her crazy.

There was no going back, and they both knew it, and weren't going to stop it. His fingers traced the curve of her breast as he whispered in her ear.

Nothing was going to be the same. Ever.

They royally fucked up everything.

I'm not sorry Liv, Elliot whispered in her ear. Neither was she.

That is when the fighting started again. Fin and Munch just shook their head as they watched their friends tear each other to shreads. Then it happened.

What is your problem!? She screamed

My problem! You're my problem! He yelled back, in the middle of the pen as officers moved out of the way.

What did I ever to do you?

I can't love my wife because I love you!

He said it, and she was scared. She remembered standing there before he hugged her tightly, as the tears started to fall. Her body shook as Fin and Munch kicked everyone out and told them the floor was off limits.

That is when everything shifted. What they were going to do was as screwed up as their relationship.

Fuck.

It all lead up to this moment, as she sat in her Doctor's office, exam room, in one of those stupid paper gowns that everyone hated, and she knew the answer the moment her OB walked in. She held up a hand preventing the confirmation.

"Healthy?"

"Yes," the doctor replied. "I need you to start taking good care of yourself Olivia, prenatal vitamins, sleeping, eating healthy."

The rest was a blur as she just nodded her head. What the fuck was she supposed to do, she was carrying her partner's baby-in both senses. They had promised Cragen that nothing would change, they were both too cocky and pin headed to change how they protected each other.

She needed to get to work, pulling on her clothes, she walked, because she couldn't take the silence of a car, there was too much to think about. What she was going to do? Telling him of course. Then there was how he was going to react, he already five kids, what if he didn't want a 6th. And the kids, she loved them with everything Maureen, Kathleen, Dickie and Elizabeth, and then Eli, her god-son. What would Kathy say?

Walking into the precinct, she looked around. She knew that in 6 months, she'd have to say goodbye to these people. To this place, her life was changing, and her hand moved to her belly. She had to tell Elliot.

Heading upstairs, she smiled as she entered the room and looked around. "Did we catch anything?"

"Nope," Elliot said looking up from his computer. "Cragen has all of us on desk duty. Apparently we don't fill out forms on time, or right anymore," he mumbled.

Olivia shook her head and sat down at her desk. Booting up her computer, and surveying her surroundings. Fin and Munch were arguing over what seemed to be Munch's inability to make a decent cup of coffee. There were a few others walking around and doing minor errands, and Cragen had his office closed.

She'd tell him.

After lunch.

Or dinner.

Or after the baby was born. That seemed like the plan.

"Liv, you okay?" he asked softly.

"I'm pregnant," she said out of the blue. Fuck. 3 pairs of eyes were on her.

Fuckity fuck fuck.

Everything was just fucked up.