EVERYONE MUST SHARE IN THE GLORIOUS MAGNIFICENCE OF JOKER! No, not the Batman Joker. You're in Flame of Recca fanfiction, I promise. Don't turn around. DON'T LEAVE! Because this story is about Joker and even if it sucks, you must read it anyway. Because… Joker is glorious. LOL. Seriously, though, I fell in love with Joker. I know he dies at the end, but I wanted him to live, because I feel like it, and because the glory of him SHALL LIVE ON! *still LOLing* I refused, however, to do an OC pairing for him and I'm not such a yaoi fangirl anymore that I'm going to go out of my way to find him a bishie to sex. I also wanted him to live in a plausible manner. So, I've created Kirito/Joker. It actually works well. It helps that neither of these characters go much into their past (seeing as Kirito forgot hers and Joker loves, well, his jokes). It also helps that Kirito's character isn't as well defined as others. So, in a way, if I go OOC, it's not really noticeable, unless I make her cuss a lot and/or slutty. Oh, gawd, that's a paragraph. Let's get on with the show.
Disclaimer: I do not own Flame of Recca. And NOBODY OWNS JOKER BECAUSE HE IS FREE AND MAGNIFICENT! NOT EVEN HIS CREATOR CAN CONTAIN HIM!
Questionable Courage
Chapter One
Don't You Leave Me
As gravity piled onto gravity and the vacuum began to form, Kirito's black eyes stared blankly at Joker's figure- standing tall and proud, gored by the huge length of lead pipe. Blood dripped onto the cracking tiles as Kadotsu's screaming rent the air. Kadotsu's broken, bleeding body was caught by the suction as the blackhole formed.
He's leaving. They're all leaving. All alone. I'll be all alone.
Break it yourself.
"I can't…" Kirito sobbed again. "I can't by myself. I'm not… strong like you."
Her empty eyes stared as the blackhole, as the nothingness, grew and Kadotsu howled. The nothingness was eating him, sucking him in, crushing him into the darkness. Kirito's eyes drank in the sight of the man whose name she didn't remember as he stumbled. His wild, crazed grin spread over his face.
He's too close. He knows it. He'll be sucked in. Crushed into nothing and I'm all alone. Leave me with my questions unanswered and I'll live too scared to know the truth, too curious not to ask.
"Don't leave. Stay with me. DON'T YOU LEAVE ME!" Kirito screamed as his feet slid over the tiles. Tears rushed down her cheeks and her eyes squinted shut as she hollered desperately. "Please! I can't- I can't do it alone! Don't leave me, whoever you are! Please!"
Bitch still doesn't know my name? Joker thought angrily as he watched her tears fall. Damn it. He cursed silently. He hated seeing little girls cry and she had the innocent face of a fourteen-year-old as she sobbed brokenly. She making impossible to die without regrets. He growled into his mind. The crushing weight of the blackhole was making more blood flow past the broken pipe and his breathing faltered.
"PLEASE! I CAN'T DO IT ALONE! DON'T LEAVE ME! I'm… all alone… again… again." Kirito slumped over gripping her black hair in both hands. "Help me…" She whispered.
DAMN IT! Joker's hand reached out and grasped the Taishaku Kaiten. Blood slid between his fingers and his hand slipped. He gritted his teeth and held on.
"Tai… shaku… Kaiten!" Joker hoarsely whispered. Gravity enveloped him as his eyes squeezed shut and he bit back a scream.
Kirito opened her eyes to see Joker gone and his bloody madogu standing upright in the ground. Her hair whipped around her as the blackhole's reaching fingers clutched at her.
Yes. Take me, too. Take me into nothingness so the loneliness and the questions disappear. I can't be strong enough alone. Even… even Shiguma is gone.
Suddenly, the blackhole collapsed on itself and disappeared. Her hair flew up revealing her face clearly, her wide eyes bewildered.
"Ah… Kadotsu… and the man with the Kansai accent… just… vanished." She whispered. "And left me behind. She blinked as her body began to shake. "No… NO! DON'T YOU LEAVE ME!" Kirito screamed, scrambling to her feet and running forward. Her slippers skidded over the tile as her hair whipped around her again as if the blackhole was returning. What?
"Shut yer trap, girl. I didn't go nowhere." A harsh, deep voice on the other side of the room muttered. Kirito turned to see the Uruha member stumbling on his feet, the pipe still lodged in his torso. He leaned against the far wall and grinned a bloody smile over at her. "Though, I ain't gonna last much longer. I always was a sucker for glasses." He coughed and blood sprayed over the tile. His body slumped and Kirito watched, still bewildered and frozen, as he fell to his side on the broken tiles.
"U-Uruha-san! Uruha-san!" Kirito exclaimed rushing over the tiles. As the tower shook, she tripped over tiles and fell to her knees, her eyes wide and staring at the bloody body in front of her. Tears ran down her face. "I don't know how you did it, but thank you, Uruha-san."
"J-joker…" His voice harshly murmured.
Kirito wiped her eyes and ran forward again. "I'm not joking. I'll save you. I'll save you if you help me. You can't leave me, okay? Never. You're going to live and you're going to break Rinne for me, you promised as of right now." Kirito told him as she knelt beside him. He was already unconscious. "You've promised me by staying." Kirito murmured to him, her shaking hand brushing away long strands of blonde hair.
She reached into her vest pockets and found her emergency first-aid kit supplies. The tower shuddered and shook, roars echoing from the depths, as she bound his chest as tightly as possible around the pipe, constantly checking his breathing. His heartbeat was shallow and rapid, but still there. After doing the little she could, she drew one arm around her shoulders and pushed herself slowly to her feet. In the battle before, she'd barely been touched, only Shiguma had taken damage. She winced as her only friend's death replayed in her mind. With a ragged breath, she changed her fourteen-year-old self to a twenty-three-year-old to better hold up his limp weight.
I won't be able to make it all the way to the vehicle garage like this. He's going to die. Kirito thought in despair as she shuffled over the uneven floor. Her eyes fell on the bloody staff the Uruha had wielded. "That… m-may help…" She panted.
She grasped it and then yanked it from the ground. She stumbled back and stumbled further as the tower shuddered again. Gritting her teeth, she used the bladed staff as a cane to pull herself forward. Step by step, the woman made her way to the elevators with her burden.
Hours later, Kirito paced the hospital floor, her hair swishing agitatedly. Her black dress snapped around her ankles, the words on the front once again covered by her many-pocketed vest.
She had somehow managed to get to the vehicle hanger and procure a small, fast car that was totally madogu-less. It had been difficult to get his long, lanky body in the car without moving the pipe or damaging his body further, but she'd done it. It had not been difficult to find the closest hospital controlled by Mori that she could easily use to her advantage as his personal Shishiten member- but it had taken a little too long for comfort. She had no idea what had happened with Mori or the Hokage. She had no idea what happened to anybody or anything. The only thing she was sure of was the fluttering heartbeat she had felt beneath her fingertips before the doctors wrenched the Uruha man away.
Alive. Alive. He's alive. He has to be alive.
Kirito repeated to herself like a mantra as she wrung her vest in her hands and paced. The doctors had informed her it was a very "touch-and-go" situation. There were no guarantees the young man would live. The pipe had, luckily, not hit his lungs or heart, nor had it hit a major artery or other organ. It had, however, torn his torso open and shattered a number of his left side ribs. It would take surgery to remove the shards, file and cap the broken ribs for safety, and sew him back up, all of which would take hours to accomplish and he'd already lost so much blood. Kirito had gotten the impression the doctors felt as if they were working on a corpse already, but Mori had a lot of money and the doctors knew better than to refuse.
"Kirito-sama, we have some empty private rooms. Why don't you retire for the night and you'll be updated on the man's condition when you wake? We can also provide you with dinner and a bath. There is still a long time before the man is out of critical condition." An orderly suggested softly, brown eyes in a worried, kind face offered. The young woman was new and didn't quite understand the hushed murmurs or fear of the others present.
Kirito looked up, concentration broken, gaze bewildered once more.
"What? Did you need something?" Kirito asked absently. She abruptly became intense. "The surgery? Is he alive then?"
"I don't have news of the surgery, Kirito-sama, forgive me." The orderly bowed. "I merely suggested you rest and, perhaps, wash up and eat?"
Kirito stared down at herself, eyes unfathomably staring at the blood-soaked black dress and the grit and dust clinging everywhere else.
"I'm fine. I need to make sure he's alive." Kirito whispered. I don't want to be alone. I have to make sure he doesn't disappear like he almost did.
"Kirito-sama?" A man's weary voice called out as doors swung. Both the young orderly and Kirito looked towards the ICU doors as a blood-splattered surgeon walked through.
"Yes. That's me." Kirito stepped forward as the orderly touched her elbow.
"It's about the patient. The surgery has ended and it was a success."
Relief made her knees weak. The orderly's firm grip on her arm was the only thing keeping her on her feet as she waiting to hear more.
"However, he is still not out of the critical stage. He, of course, will be monitored this night. We did have his type of blood in storage and are replacing what is lost as we speak. He may live, but I want to warn you that his chances are still very slim. His body has been under extreme stress, as if he had been placed under an immense pressure that almost crushed him, not to mention everything else that we told you before. He will not be waking before the night ends. I can say that with perfect clarity. Please, allow Musumi-san lead you to a room so you may rest." He gestured towards the orderly.
"Yes… of course. Thank you." Kirito murmured automatically. The surgeon bowed and returned to the ICU.
"I'm glad for you, Kirito-sama. This man must be very dear to you. I'll pray for his recovery."
"No… he's not. I don't even know his name." Kirito corrected Musumi quietly as she walked through the white-washed hallways. "I just don't want to be alone. So he can't die."
"I see." Even though she didn't. Musumi smiled softly and squeezed Kirito's arm reassuringly. "I'll still pray for his recovery. Would you like dinner before retiring?"
"No… I'm not… hungry."
"All right." When Musumi attempted to turn her around to lead her away, Kirito balked.
"N-no, please, I need to see him. I need to be near him and make sure he's alive, please. Let me sleep in his room tonight, on a chair, on the ground, anything, please." Kirito begged. Musumi's eyes widened.
"I'll… I'll see what I can do, Kirito-sama. I'm sure the doctor won't refuse." Musumi murmured softly, turning Kirito back around.
Kirito woke groggily, wondering why her glasses were still on her face. Did I fall asleep reading again? She wondered as she raised her head. The room swayed and buckled in her vision as dizziness swamped her. Her stomach was roaring with hunger and the smell of old blood made her senses reel. After four years, you'd think I'd just ignore the smell now.
Her black, crusty eyes gazed around the room and her tightly-honed instincts screamed. As did her muscles in her hunched over position. This place wasn't the room she'd had for the last four years in Mori's mansion. Late morning sunlight lit white walls so they blinded her groggy eyes. She only slept this late when she stayed up late on a mission.
Mission! The mission! The Hokage! Koganei-san is my opponent- Her racing heart began to slow as the memories of the day before returned. She looked down in front of her as the gentle beeping of a machine finally made it to her ears. Kirito's eyes widened. In the middle of the white room, the headboard flush with the wall across from the door, sat a long bed, next to which she sat on an uncomfortable, wooden, barely-padded chair. Machines beeped on both sides and an IV drip hung from a shining rack. There wasn't a blood sac, fortunately, to make her queasiness increase, but the man lying silently and still on white sheets was more than enough to make her head reel. The same man with the crazed, bloody grin and rude, Kansai dialect was pale and small on the bed. His long blonde hair had been braided and thrown over the pillow like a slumbering snake. His black hat was gone, but the shadows of the room covered most of his face. Only the gentle blue light of the machines flickered over his wide mouth and square jaw. It didn't look like the man who'd demanded she learn his name or created a blackhole to destroy a rampaging madman- she'd never really liked Kadotsu, so she wasn't planning on avenging that lunatic's death.
I must've passed out as soon as I walked into the room. At least I made it to the bed-er, chair. Kirito thought to herself as she straightened her bent spine further. She glanced over the machines, sighing in relief seeing his vitals were steady. His blood pressure was a little low, but steady. She frowned softly even as the relief swamped.
"What am I doing? Saving an enemy? Caring that he may live? Using Mori-sama's name to pay for everything, nonetheless! This man, whatever his name is, is a lunatic and would have tried to kill Mori-sama at Kurei-san's side! Why should his existence matter at all? Even if I didn't like Kadotsu-san, it doesn't make this man any less a teammate's murderer. I don't even remember this uncouth, insane man's name!" Kirito groaned and covered her face with her hands, pushing her glasses up into her hair.
I always was a sucker for glasses.
"Thank you, Uruha-san, for staying." She whispered softly, almost against her will. "I don't know why I brought you here or what to do next, but thank you for not dying and leaving me alone. Thank you for staying because I asked you. Without you, I'd be even more lost. Please, wake up and say something soon! I need your help to destroy this last link to Mori-sama and then I'll never have to smell blood again." Kirito stiffened as a large, callused palm wrapped around her wrist.
"Joker."
She looked up, shining onyx eyes wide. Eyes the color of teal met hers.
"Joker. Damn it, woman, my name is Joker." His voice grated quietly.
She blinked and then began to laugh, her shoulders shaking as relieved tears fell. "You're… You're awake, Joker-san?" She managed to gasp out as her hysterical giggles subsided.
"Y-yes and I'd rather be dead. I feel like shit." He groaned, his voice sounding odd in its muted tone.
"You shouldn't speak, Joker-san. I'll go get a nurse." She stood and moved towards the door, but was brought up short as his grip stayed firm around her wrist.
"N-Not yet." She looked back as Joker's eyes closed and he grimaced. "F-First, look down."
"What?"
"At your wrist, you stupid hag." Joker snapped angrily.
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" Kirito exclaimed as anger flared.
"Your wrist, damn it! LOOK!" He coughed harshly and she quickly bent beside him. She helped raise his torso up to ease his breathing. As he drew in a shuddering breath, he lifted her wrist.
Her eyes slowly widened as he sunk back into the pillows.
"Where is it? Where is it?" She gasped, horrified, seeing her bare wrist.
"I think… this means… Hokage or Kurei were… successful. The Tendou Jigoku was destroyed… and all the madogu with it. Did you save my… Taishaku Kaiten?"
"Yes, I did. It's in the car."
"Check and… see if it's still… there, but …I doubt it."
"If-if it's gone… but…" Kirito's eyes widened. She stared down at her young hands and touched her face softly, feeling it unlined and soft. Not only that, but it felt like her clothes fit her just fine, so her body hadn't shrunk.
"You look… twenty-something still. I'm not too… surprised. Many of Mori's… bodyguards are young." Joker's eyelids slid lower over his startling dark blue-green irises.
"I thought… I was so sure I was an old woman, because Shiguma responded so well to it." Kirito whispered as her body began to shake.
"Oi. Don't cry… again. If it wasn't… for those tears… I'd be in that… blackhole."
"Then, thank me for it, Joker-san." Kirito snapped. She sucked up her tears and straightened her spine. Twenty. I'm twenty. I'm… me… She stared down at her hands and smiled softly. No more confusion. It did feel as if an immensely heavy weight was off her shoulders.
"You… don't need me. Huh… how… ironic. I only lived because… you begged me for help… and you don't… need it." He chuckled weakly.
"How did you do?" Kirito asked trying not to let her awe show. "You were much too close to survive."
"Luck. I tried out an… experiment. I used Taishaku Kaiten to… build another well of… gravity, a counter-well… if you'd like, around… myself. I used the…gravity of the counter… to swing around… the gravity of the blackhole… and was thrown to the… other side of the room. Lucky me." Joker's voice grew weaker and she glanced at the heart monitor. His heartbeat was still steady and his blood pressure hadn't changed. She glanced back at him with a calm smile.
"Yes. Lucky you. Thank you, again." She rose to her feet. "I'll go get the nurse now, Joker-san."
"W-Wait…"
"Yes?" She turned back to him again.
"My… My hat."
She stared at him blankly.
"Your what?"
"My… My hat. I need my hat. How… can I be… mysterious if I don't… have my hat?"
"Are you serious?"
"Joker is always serious."
Kirito sighed and decided not to bait him further. Being twenty came with obligations, like maturity. "I'll ask for it." Kirito promised.
"Thanks." His crazed, gleaming grin flashed briefly before he succumbed to sleep once more.
"Lunatic. Truly." Kirito shook her head briefly.
She grimaced down at her clothes. She walked towards the door, determined to get detailed information on the Uruha's condition before anything else. She might be past the shock and despair of the previous day, but it didn't make his situation any less critical. Mori had never told her to kill the Uruha, so she truly had nothing against that crazy man anyway. The thought of loneliness prompted her even further to make sure he would recover completely. The door opened before she reached it, swinging forward on silent hinges over white tile. A kind face popped in and smiled happily seeing Kirito awake and lucid.
"Oh, good! I've been checking every now and then to see if you were all right. I'm glad you are. Are you ready for breakfast?" The vaguely familiar woman chirped as she continued into the room.
"Not quite. I'm fine right now. I'm worried about this man more. How is he? Will he recover?" Kirito asked quickly.
"Of course, of course. He's all you were thinking about last night. I think he was the only reason you weren't in a heap in a corner. You looked exhausted. He's doing fine. Actually, the doctors are amazed by his progress. His body is accepting the blood transfusion without trouble and his condition is only improving. He's a very lucky and strong man."
"It might be genetics, really. He's rather mentally unbalanced." Kirito informed the woman as she brushed her hair from her eyes. The orderly chuckled.
"I'll tell the doctors to be careful, then. Do you remember me, Kirito-sama? My name is Musumi. I'm so glad you slept so long. My shift was just ending when you retired last night and I've been here about… two hours now." Musumi smiled at Kirito. "I'm afraid I've become rather attached to you two and would hate to miss anything."
"Thank you, Musumi-san." Kirito blurted as she stared at the orderly, shocked. Usually people are scared of me when they know I'm from the Shishiten.
"Don't be so surprised. The whole hospital is in an uproar because you're using Mori-sama's account to pay. It's almost like everyone's scared of you, but I don't see why. You're so polite and pretty." Musumi smiled and then bowed. "I'll lead you to your room so you can eat and bathe in peace. Follow me, please."
Kirito did as asked, with a nervous glance backwards at Joker's sleeping, shadowed face.
Sun lit the blue-room's wall-papered walls brightly, marking the time as late afternoon. As they entered the red-carpeted room with its large blue-blanketed bed, another orderly walked up behind them with a covered tray. Kirito's stomach growled in response to the scent of warm miso and rice. Musumi giggled behind her hand.
"Well, Kirito-sama, your room has a private bathroom through that door over there. If you have any questions, you can push the call button. When you've finished, you can push it as well and I'll come collect the tray. When I collect the tray, I'll also collect your dirty clothes. There are clean clothes in the bathroom for you. Oh, and I'll make sure to get an update about your man, too." Musumi left with another bow and smile.
"He is not my man, per se. Nor my friend." Kirito demurred.
"You are the one who brought him here. I'm sure you even know his name?" Musumi made it a question as she tilted her head to the side.
"Well, yes, it's Joker. But I haven't known it very long." Kirito stammered.
Musumi grinned. "Of course. Well, you may be able to see him tonight again, but the doctors doubt he'll wake for another day or two."
"I'm sure he won't, but he already woke today. He told me today his name when he woke up."
"Oh! He woke up! I must tell the doctor immediately! You should've told me sooner Kirito-sama!" Musumi chided quickly before rushing out the door, the silent, second orderly right behind her, looking scared.
Kirito spent the next few hours eating and then showering. She wasted several minutes staring at her bare wrists. Her fingers traced the outline of both Rinne and Nervah, feeling lonely and free at the same time. The water was cold by the by she finally stepped out. The spare set of clothes the hospital provided for her to change into weren't the most comfortable unfortunately. The thin blue cotton pants and matching shirt made her feel like a patient and rather cold, but they were clean. As the sun slid below the horizon, she pushed the small orange button and braided her damp black hair. Musumi was quick to arrive again with a big smile on her face.
"I was hoping I could visit Joker-san's room again?" Kirito hesitantly asked.
"Oh, yes, it shouldn't be a problem. The doctors finished their tests and are amazed that he's already woken up. He's so much stronger than an average person! We'll nip down to the kitchen area to drop off the tray and your clothes, maybe even pick you up something to munch on, and I'll lead you directly back." Musumi chattered gaily as the two young women left the room.
Thanks to her own powers of observation, Kirito managed not to get lost in the maze of white walls and sharp corners. Being so out of the way of anything, the hospital was well-equipped, but fairly empty. For the most part, Kirito saw only nurses and orderlies in the hallways. After taking the tray to the kitchen and sending the clothes to the basement, Kirito followed Musumi to the ICU. Though his condition was stabilized, he was still in the critical stages of improvement and needed the rest of the 24-hour surveillance before being moved to another part of the hospital. Kirito's heart thudded painfully as the double doors swung open and Musumi led her into the Unit.
It felt so odd, being this nervous about seeing an unconscious lunatic she'd already spoken to that day. She had to admit, though, she was nervous and her heart was doing flipflops. She had lost her balance somewhere and it was proving difficult to refocus her center. Maybe if Shiguma hadn't been killed, if someone of the Ura Uruha were to finally show up, if anything could happen so she could learn of what happened in SODOM, maybe she could recall the serenity she had fought for years to assume.
Musumi stopped before a door and pushed it open gently. Kirito walked forward and stepped up to the Uruha's side, once again shocked by his condition.
"Here's a chair, Kirito-sama. I need to do some paperwork, but you can stay here as long as you like. I doubt you'd do anything to sabotage his condition." Musumi winked and set the cushioned stool behind Kirito. "If you need help finding your room, just turn left out of the door and go straight through the ICU doors and someone will be at the desk to help you. Please, don't push the nurse button as, only do so in an emergency."
Kirito rolled her eyes as Musumi left, breaking her stony shock.
I know that. Kirito retorted silently. She turned back to the Uruha's slack face. She exhaled heavily and perched on the stool. She raised her hand, paused, and then let it fall over Joker's.
"I'll make sure you get better, Joker-san." Kirito whispered.