July 1st, 2014 - Inspiration

ARTIST: fadeddglory

AUTHOR: snowyfoxpaws

July 1st, 2014 - Inspiration

Alfred stared down at his pad of paper, the colored stick settled neatly in his fingers, purple smudges across his palms. He'd never been a very neat artist, but what was the point if you didn't lose yourself in your work? Who had time to worry about how the color mixed on skin into a dull brown by the end of the class?

No, no he was distracting himself now, staring at the creases in his palm so that he didn't have to look up. He knew purple would be no good. No. Maybe something else? A sold, royal blue? Perhaps a dark green? What made him feel inspired?

He took a shuddered breath and placed the purple down, picking up black. He didn't normally use black, but maybe he would this one time, if only because the man who sat neatly on the platform reminded him of an old black and white photo, despite the fact that he was nude and had piercing green eyes and nothing at all about him lacked color.

Swallowing, he trained his eyes on the substitute that had been brought in place of their normal, female model. Sure, they'd done male models before, but never like this…

Never someone this handsome and…

Naked.

Normally nudity didn't really bother Alfred, but it was the combination of everything that really brought the entire thing home. He wasn't aroused, he was just intimidated. It felt like being stared down by a lion. Those eyes held a depth to them that you couldn't ignore, because when everything else was just a pale expanse of skin, that was the one prickling point of color that drew you in and no matter what stick of pastel he chose he knew he could never capture that on his paper.

So he didn't even bother trying.

By the end of it, he had done what he could. Really. He worked hard on his craft, so the life he had managed to put into this one was there. There but… lacking. He could tell.

"Alfred, this is great, but…"

His professor could tell.

"Sorry. Yeah. I know." He said, laughing despite himself and smiling up at the woman whom had taught him so much. It was easy to relax now that the model was gone, no longer staring down from his regal perch atop plain white boxes. "I know it's missing that… something."

"Yeah, it is." She agreed, her voice warm despite the criticism. "You've improved a lot if you can tell that on your own now."

Alfred grinned and rubbed at his face, smearing black across his cheek.

And he'd really thought that'd be the end of it, but a week later those deep green eyes were back.

Alfred had had dreams about those eyes.

He was nude once more, a different pose this time, shameless, face fixed into an expression that almost looked like longing. This man was a god at what he did, certainly, because even Alfred could see the effect he had on the rest of the class. Whoever he was, he was a cut above their normal volunteers, that was for sure.

This time he chose a dark blue, washing that painful expression into white paper.

At the end of class his professor stared at it and he internally winced at the scrutinizing expression on her face. "Sorry, I guess I'm just in a funk…"

"Hmm…" She hummed, looking deep in thought. "Maybe you've finally found a challenge."

"A challenge?" He asked, puzzled.

She nodded at him. "You've done extraordinary for the better part of the quarter. I almost thought I wouldn't be able to help you improve in any noticeable way this term. But if Arthur causes you so much trouble, perhaps there's some hope after all."

Alfred felt his throat tighten. "Arthur—?"

"The model." She informed him. "Well, I say model but…" She hesitated before, "Don't tell anyone, but he's actually a family friend's son. Our current model had a family emergency and I didn't have anyone else on such short notice. You all liked him so much I thought I'd ask him to come back this week."

"You…" Alfred blinked. "You mean he's not even a professional model?"

His professor shook her head. "Not at all. In fact he's an English Literature major." She shrugged. "Anyway, maybe I can arrange a private session, so you could work through some sketches. I could critique them later if you would like."

"Oh… Um, yeah. That sounds great."

Why had he said that?

Why on earth had he answered with that?

Alfred could hardly look at Arthur during a normal session, where he was but one of fifteen bright faces staring up at a stage, so it was a little baffling that he'd so quickly agreed to a…

A private session.

Arthur was looking at him, a cup in hand that drifted steam. It felt odd to see him with clothing. It felt odd that it felt odd to see him with clothing.

"Arthur Kirkland." He had said, shaking his hand.

"Alfred Jones." Alfred had managed to reply, taking pride in the fact that he hadn't stuttered.

Arthur nodded. "So would you like me to undress or…?"

Some part of his heart seized up at that and Alfred had trouble redirecting his thoughts as his mouth supplied him with, "Oh, yes. Please."

"Very well."

The classroom was empty save for the two of them as was typical on an early Saturday morning. Arthur disrobed and Alfred had a hard time setting up his supplies as he tried not to discretely glance at the strange, public display.

"So, um… you're a Literature major?" He said, trying to make conversation as he unloaded his sketch pad, the paper almost half as tall as he was.

"Yes, I am." Arthur replied, his accented voice like music to Alfred's ears.

"Why did you decide to, um…"

"Volunteer?" The other student was looking at him now, eyes glimmering in the light from the window.

Alfred couldn't look away. "Yeah…"

"I thought it might be interesting." Arthur admitted, slipping free the last of his clothing. "It is rare you encounter an opportunity to sit before a group of your peers in the nude." A pause. "And I rather suspect it might make public speaking easier."

It took Alfred a moment to realize that that was a joke and he had to stifle his laugh. "Not gonna care if you're up on stage in your underwear anymore?"

Arthur threw him a slight smirk. "I am afraid that that is a fear I no long need to worry about."

Things continued on like that and Alfred found he didn't mind the light banter as he worked on some warm up sketches, precision not necessary here as he found himself relaxing.

"Hey, Arthur…" He said, his fingers working deftly at the paper in front of him. "Was that really why you decided to model like this?" Alfred sketched in a long, pale leg. "Because it was interesting?"

"No, not really. It sounds like a nice reason though, doesn't it?"

Not expecting that as an answer, Alfred looked up. "Then why—?"

Arthur was looking at him, those sharp eyes seemingly peering into his very soul. "I like watching artists work." He said slowly, as though thinking through his words. "You all have such intense looks on your faces and I thought it might be interesting to have such a thing focused on me."

Alfred felt breathless. "Has it been?"

"Oh." Arthur smiled— a genuine one, his entire face slipping into something soft and fond. "It has been extremely inspiring."

His fingers moved before he could even think about it, forest green smoothing lines into textured white. In moments he had it.

He really had it.

Arthur's smile.

He felt his palms sweat.

He knew what he was missing.

"Hey, Arthur…" Alfred said slowly, staring down at his paper. "Do you want to go out for coffee sometime?"

Looking up, he found the not-model watching him with a coy smile. "Why not right now?"

Alfred blinked and glanced at the cup off to the side.

Arthur apparently read this look. "That, lad, is tea." He corrected carefully. "Not coffee."

It took him a moment, but Alfred frowned lightly as his eyes returned to Arthur. "You're lying about your reason for being here." He concluded shortly, not sure if he felt giddy or betrayed.

"I'm not." Arthur replied, sounding genuinely hurt.

"Then why…"

Arthur bit his lip, the motion of pearl white over rose red sucking Alfred in. "I wanted your eyes trained on me." He said again, cocking his head in thought. "I couldn't think of how else to get your attention…"

Despite himself, Alfred laughed.

And his professor later approved of the sketches he made with a knowing smile.