Do you live, do you die, do you bleed,
for the fantasy?
In your mind, through your eyes, do you see,
it's the fantasy!

Maybe tonight we can forget about it all.
It could be just like heaven!
I am a machine.
No longer living, just a shell I love what I dream!

- The Fantasy, 30 Seconds to Mars

She craved him. More than she craved food or water or oxygen.

He was also the one thing in the world she could not have. She could never ever have him. Because no matter how manipulating, calculating and beautifully seducing she was, he was like a cold hard stone that could not be affected with anything related to any feelings whatsoever.

And o, how much that hurt. Deep, deep. deep inside she was burning up with all that irrational longing, yearning, passion.

He wasn't attractive really. Quite gross if you really thought about it, but she turned that off, refused to see it.

Instead she looked at his silhouette, how majestic he looked when he moved, how his eyes almost glowed with passion when he spoke of his plans. She wished those eyes would look at her that way. She wished in vain, because she knew that it would never be that way.

It was impossible.

And his voice, ah, how that voice could make her tremble with a mixture of fear, longing and passion that she could barely stand up at times.

She imagined that voice, hissing her name slowly, tenderly.

How magic that would be.

"My Lord" she said quietly as she slowly opened the door. He was sitting on the floor, his back turned towards her, a fire burning in the fireplace.

"What is it?" he asked, his voice stone cold.

"I was just stopping by to see if you had everything you needed before the night?" she mumbled, the uncertainty in her voice making it sound like a question.

"I am fine!"

She almost felt like crying. This cold behavior she could never get used to.

She used to be one of his closest. In the inner circle, she used to be the one closest to the middle, where her Lord was. His right hand, partner in crime, best fighter and the only one he could completely trust.

Now he barely spoke to her anymore. If he did, only short sentences and preferably if there was another person in the room, indirectly ("Tell her, I want another cushion on my chair").

It broke her heart, because believe it or not, she had one.

It was all because of her sister and her stupid husband and their stupid son. Disgracing their family name and pulling her down with them. And her other sister she couldn't even think about, but her merciful Lord had overlooked her all these years, pretended she was nothing.

"I will leave you then my Lord. I bid you a good night!" she whispered weakly and clutched her chest over her heart with her right hand as the started to close the door with the left.

When it was almost slid shut, she heard his voice from inside the room, hesitatingly;

"Bellatrix, come here!"

She almost pushed the door open in her eager to get close to him, but as she approached him, she didn't know how near she was allowed to go. She stopped about two feet away from his back, which was still turned towards her.

"Closer, come and stand in front of me!"

She swallowed nervously and walked slowly up beside and past her master and stood in front of him. She turned towards him and her fingertips itched with the longing she felt to touch him.

He stood slowly, swiftly and walked up to her, his body just a few inches from his.

She had no idea what was going on, she didn't know if she was to be frightened or exited or extremely happy. She felt kind of all at the same time.

He looked up into her eyes, looked them with his so that she couldn't escape. No one could escape power such as that.

"Bellatrix. Touch my face" he ordered her, and she almost died then. How could this be? What had changed his mind so completely? Maybe he'd realized that he wanted something more, and new she was there for him.

He waited for her do obey his orders, and she did so happily.

Her skin tingled as her fingers for the first time in her life touched her Lord's skin. It felt so fragile somehow, and it was cold as ice, but she barely registered that as her own skin was as hot as a thousand fires. She closed her eyes in satisfaction.

"Now, touch my body too!"

She did as he asked, traced with her fingers over his chest, along his arms, up his neck.

He grabbed her waist suddenly and clutched her closer, so close they were touching. He stared into her eyes.

"Now, whisper my name and then kiss me!"

She gasped. This could not be? Had her master finally turned insane?

Before he could change his mind she stood on her tiptoes to reach his ear, her lips touching his earlobe as she sighed; "My Lord Voldemort!"

Then she pulled back, put her finger on his lower lip for just a second before she leaned in and caught his lips with her own.

She explored his mouth with all her might, caressing his forked tongue with her own, non-forked one.

She was just getting started when he suddenly pushed her of himself with a force so strong she fell to the floor.

She looked up at him, puzzled. He had turned his back against her again.

"Just as I thought! I felt nothing. They say that love is kisses and touching, and that love is the greatest magic of all. I felt nothing at all. The only thing I felt was disgust!" he said quietly, his voice so cold she shivered. Or was it from tears?

She had never felt more hurt in her entire life.

She was only his little puppet. Test object.

He'd felt nothing. Nothing but disgust. Something that had for a second been the most perfect moment of her life had only disgusted her Lord.

No, she'd never been this hurt before, she felt completely broken.

She watched, shaking like a leaf from all her tears, as her Dark Lord Voldemort left her all alone, broken, on the floor.

She dried her tears and stood up, clutched her chest over her heart with her right hand, closed her eyes and thought that Lord Voldemort did actually not, for real, understand what love really meant.

No warning sign, no alibi,
we faded faster than the speed of light.
Took our chance, crashed and burned,
no, we'll never ever learn.

I fell apart, but got back up again.
And then I fell apart, but got back up again!

- Alibi, 30 Seconds to Mars