TITLE : Three
FEEDBACK : This is my first fic, help me improve :)
SUMMARY : Spike POV. Buffy asks Spike for a favor. I warn you it's depressing.
RATING : errr... G ?
NOTES : Many thanks to Lady Starlight for advices and correcting my english
Three is a bloody magic number, you know that?
Wouldn't need Red or her wicca girl to tell me that, I know. I knew even before I died, I'd been reading enough stupid pre-Raphaelite poetry for that.
It's like a plague, turning your life all around until all you can do is stare at the mess it made. Like that old wicca warning, things returning to you threefold. Just like that. Magic always has consequences. And so does doom.
So there you go, me being in love with three women in my sodding life. And every time I was broken by it. And every time I tried again, made myself a new man, started a new life, found a new role model, just for her, anything. And every time, every bloody time, a mess.
You'd think I'd learn by now, wouldn't you?
She said I was the only she could trust with it.
I guess she couldn't lay something that huge on any of her friends, but then, I wasn't a friend. I was too surprised to say anything at first, then I raged, I yelled, and I begged. God, how I begged her !
She would have none of it.
There's no way out, she told me, it's just how I was brought back, it's in the spell. We can't even wait.
Guess I should just be glad for those few months of respite, of having her back and a chance to love her and see it wasn't enough.
I wanted to tell her that the world could sod off, that they could all sod off, every bit of humanity, her friends and the Nibblet. I said nothing, because it would have been useless, and though I would be happy to see the end of the world as long as I was with her, I knew by then that having her with me only because she'd be unconscious wouldn't be what I craved. I had learnt that much with Drusilla, at least.
So in the end, I just told her the truth. "Buffy, I can't do that."
Her expression softened and she took my hand. "You have to, please, Spike. You can't...", her voice wavered, "you can't leave me alone."
I closed my eyes for just a second, just an instant to remember, then I nodded ever so slightly. She relaxed and let a sad little smile flicker across her face. "Thank you, I know it's... thank you."
Of course she knew.
The third time. It was the third time I'd helped her prevent the end of the world. I had failed her the first two times, one way or another. That was the price, for the moment I had raised my eyes from Drusilla to see her fighting against Angelus, so close to losing and yet not willing to do anything. That was the price for falling from the tower and failing to save Little Bit from Doc. 'Cause Three is a magic number, and it'll always catch you back.
I caressed her cheek and kissed her eyes and then her lips because three's magic, for goodbye, and I killed my third Slayer.
Three is a bloody magic number, you know that?
FEEDBACK : This is my first fic, help me improve :)
SUMMARY : Spike POV. Buffy asks Spike for a favor. I warn you it's depressing.
RATING : errr... G ?
NOTES : Many thanks to Lady Starlight for advices and correcting my english
Three is a bloody magic number, you know that?
Wouldn't need Red or her wicca girl to tell me that, I know. I knew even before I died, I'd been reading enough stupid pre-Raphaelite poetry for that.
It's like a plague, turning your life all around until all you can do is stare at the mess it made. Like that old wicca warning, things returning to you threefold. Just like that. Magic always has consequences. And so does doom.
So there you go, me being in love with three women in my sodding life. And every time I was broken by it. And every time I tried again, made myself a new man, started a new life, found a new role model, just for her, anything. And every time, every bloody time, a mess.
You'd think I'd learn by now, wouldn't you?
She said I was the only she could trust with it.
I guess she couldn't lay something that huge on any of her friends, but then, I wasn't a friend. I was too surprised to say anything at first, then I raged, I yelled, and I begged. God, how I begged her !
She would have none of it.
There's no way out, she told me, it's just how I was brought back, it's in the spell. We can't even wait.
Guess I should just be glad for those few months of respite, of having her back and a chance to love her and see it wasn't enough.
I wanted to tell her that the world could sod off, that they could all sod off, every bit of humanity, her friends and the Nibblet. I said nothing, because it would have been useless, and though I would be happy to see the end of the world as long as I was with her, I knew by then that having her with me only because she'd be unconscious wouldn't be what I craved. I had learnt that much with Drusilla, at least.
So in the end, I just told her the truth. "Buffy, I can't do that."
Her expression softened and she took my hand. "You have to, please, Spike. You can't...", her voice wavered, "you can't leave me alone."
I closed my eyes for just a second, just an instant to remember, then I nodded ever so slightly. She relaxed and let a sad little smile flicker across her face. "Thank you, I know it's... thank you."
Of course she knew.
The third time. It was the third time I'd helped her prevent the end of the world. I had failed her the first two times, one way or another. That was the price, for the moment I had raised my eyes from Drusilla to see her fighting against Angelus, so close to losing and yet not willing to do anything. That was the price for falling from the tower and failing to save Little Bit from Doc. 'Cause Three is a magic number, and it'll always catch you back.
I caressed her cheek and kissed her eyes and then her lips because three's magic, for goodbye, and I killed my third Slayer.
Three is a bloody magic number, you know that?