I wrote this for someone on tumblr by the name of spooky-baguette when I saw their post on tumblr talking about France and England arguing while they sign a marriage registration and the judge wonders why they're getting married. Enjoy!

France and England were getting married.

I repeat, France and England were getting married.

No one expected this. I mean, seriously, the two nations that constantly argued and hated each other right to the bone were getting married. Of course no one would expect it! It was like Greece and Turkey getting married, or Russia and America. It was simply illogical.

At first, everyone expected it to just be for an alliance or something along the lines, like a few hundred years ago. That was not the case when England walked into a meeting arguing with the country of love, but willingly holding his hand.

After a while of hysteria, the nations calmed down and somewhat accepted it. France got a couple of threats from America in the end while Canada just smiled and gave them his congratulations.

But the thing about the nations isn't the focus of this story. Oh no, the focus of this story is when they went to a judge to sign the marriage registration. Quite frankly, the judge was also wondering why these men were getting married in the first place.

"…you have no right to judge me!" France was saying. "At least I'm not the black sheep of Europe!"

"At least people aren't afraid of me!" England argued.

"Ha!" France laughed. "Little Romano and Italy are afraid of you!"

"That's because they're the Italies!" England retorted. "Of course they'd be afraid of me. Everyone else is scared that you'd perv on them!" Throughout this whole argument, they were somehow working on signing the entire marriage registration. How do these two even work together? The judge wondered, sweatdropping as he listened to their – honestly very interesting – argument.

"Err, I hate to interrupt you boys…" He cleared his throat to get their attention. "But that would be all I really need from you both." The two stopped their arguing and nodded, standing up.

"Yes, thank you for your time," England said curtly. "I apologize for any disturbance this Frog has given you and any of the other people here." France gaped at him.

"Moi?" He gasped. "Why you-!" And off they went, arguing as always as they left the room.

"That was way more tiring than it should have been," the judge sighed. "I'll look over this tomorrow to make sure they did everything. I think I'll just go out for a beer for now."

The next day, the judge had found that the two had forgotten to sign one part of the registration, and so he decided to stop by their house to talk to them about it. As he was about to knock on the door, he heard something inside crash. Looking into the large window beside the door, he expected the two of them to be in yet another argument. Instead, he was pleasantly surprised.

It seemed England had been bringing a few snacks in a bowl to the living room where France was sitting and had dropped the bowl by accident. France immediately leapt up and asked if he was alright and checked his hands.

"I'm alright, frog," England said with a small laugh. "I didn't get cut or anything. You don't have to worry. Besides, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even feel the cut considering what we've been through." France sighed.

"I know, amour," he said, placing a kiss on his fiancé's hand. "I just want you to be safe." England laughed.

"Yes, I know," he told him. France smiled and kissed him softly, resting a hand on his shoulder.

Oh, the judge thought as he looked away from the private moment. That's why they're getting married. I think I'll wait a while before knocking. And so he sat on the steps for about twenty minutes before knocking on the door.

-ALTERNATE ENDING-

"That was way more tiring than it should have been," the judge sighed as he looked over the marriage registration. "Oh, it seems that they forgot to sign this part!" He stood up to run after the couple that had just left a few minutes ago.

After a while of wandering around, the judge was getting frustrated. He was about to scream out about where they were when he heard a noise – a moan? – and the shuffling of clothing. He peaked around the corner and squeaked, blushing bright red at the sight in front of him.

Right there, in the middle of the empty hallway, stood France with England's legs wrapped around him as they made out passionately against a wall. It was quite obvious they were using a lot of tongue.

England was working on unbuttoning France's shirt while France had his hands up England's. They broke apart for air, their faces both equally red.

"We should move this somewhere else," England panted. France nodded and scanned the hallway. His eyes spotted a small office nearby with an open door. There was no one inside it.

"There," he said. "It's empty." He gave England a sultry smirk as he carried him inside the room and shut the door with his foot. The judge heard the lock click, and pretty soon, he also heard very loud moans coming from the room.

I think I'll talk to them tomorrow… The judge decided. He then when to cleanse his mind of what he had just witnessed.