She was trying her best. In general, and in the moment. Trying to come up with some excuse, some reason, for showing up here. Uninvited. She knows vampires and their attitude toward invitations are a myth, but it didn't stop her anxiety. Bella had not seen the Cullen's all day.
She had to drive herself to school. It was understandable. She didn't need them to cater to her and there was a reasonable explanation. The sun was paying Forks a proper visit.
Bella didn't complain. The warmth felt too nice and these days were few and far between. Besides, she could handle a few hours without the Cullen's. She had managed to keep breathing for what felt like years on end the last time they were gone. This time they hadn't even actually left.
Right?
Her nerves kicked in at lunch. She replied to the text she received earlier by asking how everyone was. It was a good question. The sun had gone down by then. She didn't expect any of them to show up late to school. It wasn't like they needed to be there, but it was still a good question. She was curious about what they all did on days like this.
That's all.
That is a good excuse. It's curiosity. Even if it kills cats, it can't have too bad of an effect on humans.
Bella parked her truck in the Cullen's driveway. The house seemed still. Every time she blinked, she expected it to disappear. It would make sense. An entire house disappearing. It could if they could.
Her own knock on the door brought her to the front of her mind. She couldn't remember walking the rest of the way. She couldn't remember getting out of her car, nor the sound of the engine sputtering when she cut it off. She hadn't remembered to breathe in the last few moments. Bella sucked in a ragged breath and waited for a response.
Did seconds pass? Or hours?
Bella knocked again. Her hand stayed hanging when the door swung open after hitting it. Seeing Rosalie on the other side made her sigh in relief. But her indifferent expression punched Bella in the gut. She choked on her own air, producing an awkward sound. Trying to talk wouldn't save her by any means, but it may break the tension building in her own frame.
"Hi." She started.
Rosalie said nothing.
"I uh…wanted to stop by," Curious wasn't that good of an excuse after all, "See how things are going."
Still nothing.
Bella lowered her gaze. The pavement was less intimidating than Rosalie's stare. What was she thinking to do this? She's only proving Rosalie's negative points about her. None of them would appreciate her walking up like she owned the place. Rosalie especially. She took a step back and made a mental game plan to get out of this before looking back up.
She was still. Too still. Bella's brow furrowed as she tried to grasp her thoughts. They went out the window when her gaze met Rosalie's again. Now, she was thinking she, not the house, would disappear every time she blinked. Her eyes burned a little. How could she dare to have looked away?
"I didn't mean to intrude or anything, I…"
Was it even Rosalie standing there? Or was Bella talking to the door and her imagination was getting the better of her again? Something broke behind Bella's eyes. She hated crying in front of people. It made her feel out of control and her feelings only intensified her fear of abandonment.
Bella flung herself against Rosalie. She completely expected to go right through the mirage. They collided instead. Bella felt slow when they did like she was watching the moment unfold right in front of her. Her arms wrapped around Rosalie's waist as tight as they could for a human and Rose finally moved.
Her hand lifted from the door and Bella expected Rose to shove her off. She braced herself for the harsh rejection. It wouldn't be too bad. She had what she needed. Rosalie was here. They were here. This wasn't all in her head. Despite Bella's tears, she was coming to a happy conclusion. Her thoughts were reorganizing into something coherent. She wasn't alone, Rosalie was here.
And she was holding her.
Bella blinked in surprise. They were close enough her eyelashes brushed against the curve of Rosalie's neck. She was keeping her there. Strong arms wrapped around shaking shoulders as Bella worked through her fear. She made small circles at the base of her neck with her thumbs. The comfort gave Bella permission to let it all out. She had been bottling up too much. Hiding her emotions, walking on eggshells, and thinking she was on her last chance. One slip up and they would disappear again.
"I'm here," Rosalie promised. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
It would take time for Bella to completely believe her words. For now, they helped her breathing calm from jagged sobs to quiet sniffles.