The Adventures of Edd, Ed 'n Eddy
EPISODE #1: Ed's cracker
The Eds were in Ed's room. Double Dee and Eddy called Ed this morning, telling him that he needed to come to Double Dee's house, but Ed insisted that they should come to his house instead, so they did. They are now in Ed's room, staring at a cracker lying on a stool in the middle of Ed's bedroom floor. It was a saltine cracker, never been opened.
Double Dee rolled his eyes, and Eddy just shook his head at Ed.
"Meet my new friend, guys," Ed said.
"His name is Crackers."
The two Eds exchanegd glances. Double Dee spoke first, snd decided to play along with Ed's little imaginary game.
"Um…Please to meet your acquaintance, Crackers," Double Dee said, touching the cracker with the tip of his finger.
"This is a hunk of baloney! Let's go! We got a scam to do!" Eddy said, pointing at the doorway.
"Not until I say good bye to Crackers, Eddy!" Ed insisted. He then turned around, and looked at the cracker sadly.
"Good bye Crackers."
"Good, now let's go! Move!" Eddy said impatiently.
Ed ignored Eddy (I'd highly doubt he was even paying attention to him), and started putting a bib on Crackers.
"It's feeding time for this little dickey."
Ed then got out a bowl of baby food, and a plastic dirty spoon from his pocket, and fed it to Crackers. Since Crackers doesn't have a mouth, baby food is now everywhere on the little guy.
Again, the two Eds exchanegd glances.
"Ed, If Crackers has a mouth, how come he is now saturated in baby food," Double Dee asked, hoping he would get through to him.
"Aw, he's just saving it for later. Yep, that's how the cookie crumbles, Double Dee."
Eddy, now impatient, and filled with anger, began to stretch his arm out, and began to grab Ed's neck with all of his might. Within minutes, Ed's face started to turn blue.
"Goodness gracious," Double Dee yeled with widened eyes. "Eddy, please refrain!!"
"Let…go Eddy!" Ed choked, trying to get out of Eddy's grip.
Eddy would've kept on going, if Ed's face didn't turn purple. Finally, he sighed, and decided to let Ed go.
THUD!
Ed fell to the ground. He immediately got up, and brushed himself off, as if that whole little scene never happened in the first place.
"Ed, I'm positive that Crackers will do just fine without us," Double Dee assured.
"Are you sure Double Dee?"
"Cross my arteries, and hope to die."
Ed hung his head, and slowly looked at the pack of Saltine Crackers covered with baby food with watery eyes.
"Okay…" He sniffed. He kept on staring at Crackers
"Goodbye, Crackers."
"Well, it's about time," Eddy said as he turned around, and walked towards the doorway. Double Dee, and Edd immediately followed Eddy. Ed was about two steps away from exiting his room, when he turned around, and looked at Crackers again. Suddenly, he ran back, picked up the Crackers, and started to hug it, baby food was now evident on his shirt.
Double Dee and Eddy came in Ed's room shortly after tey realized Ed wasn't following them.
Eddy was red in the face. His body was violently shaking, dark smoke was cascading from his ears.
"THAT'S IT!"
He ran to Ed, and pushed him. Crackers flew out of his hands
Eddy saw the opportunity, and grabbed Crackers when it was in midair, and ran to the open window.
"STUPID CRACKER COMING DOWN!"
Eddy threw Crackers out the window without any hesitation. Ed got up from the floor, and saw Eddy just in time throwing Crackers out the window.
"No, Eddy!"
But it was too late.
SMASH!
The cracker was now in itty bitty pieces two stories below. The cracker was now out of its wrapper for the first time. A smile slowly formed on Eddy's face as he looked at the destroyed cracker.
"What happen to Crackers, Eddy?" Ed asked. Double Dee looked at Eddy, who was still looking out the window, and then turned to the concerned Ed, and patted him on the back.
"Um…Crackers is okay, Ed." Double Dee lied.
"He went out to get some exercise. Very good for your health."
"Yeah, right," Eddy muttered as he walked over to his two friends. Double Dee elbowed Eddy in the ribs as soon as he joined them.
"Uh, I mean, yes! That's why I threw him out the window. He needs some exercise…or something...whatever."
"Aw, they grow up so fast!" Ed sniffed. With tears of joy, he ran out of the bedroom. Double Dee, and Eddy ran to the doorway.
"Where are you going, Ed?" Double Dee asked as he started looking around, looking for any signs that Ed's nearby.
"To the bathroom!" Ed replied from downstairs
As soon as they got their answer, the two Eds shrugged, and walked back into Eddy's room. Together, they both looked out the window. The destroyed cracker was still there.
What were they going to do? How arwe they going to tell Ed? How will the big guy react?
"This all your fault, sockhead," Eddy said.
"Must you jest at situations like these? You were responsible for Cracker's death. You lost all sanity, went ballistic, and threw Crackers out the window like an immobile object!"
"Oh, cry me a river, George Washington!" Eddy said as he pounded his chest with his fist. "If we're going to talk about sanity here, let's put Ed into the subject, because this dude needs to be put in a nut house!!"
"Is it simply a crime to...By George...I think I have found a solution!" He said, a light bulb appeared at the top of his head.
"I'll be back shortly."
Double Dee ran out of Ed's room, leaving the curious Eddy alone.
15 minutes later, Double Dee returned, wearing a Cracker suit. Eddy stared at the cracker suit with fright.
"Is that a real cracker?" Eddy asked as he walked closer.
"Yes, Eddy, very authentic. But it's not just a cracker. It's an oven toasted cracker!"
There was silence. Eddy, as usua, broke the silence with a quick head shake, and a shrug.
"So what?"
"So, the more authentic it looks, the more believable my performance as Crackers will be."
"HA! Yeah, right!" Eddy scoffed, rolling his eyes.
"If Ed falls for this, he would offically become the king of morons!"
Ed suddenly came back from the bathroom. Immediately, he saw Double Dee in his cracker suit.
"Crackers!"
He ran over to "Crackers", and started hugging him.n e actually believed that was Crackers, even though the suit was very large, and Double Dee's face can be clearly seen
"You grew so fast, you lucky dog!" Ed commented as he grabbed Crackers, and started to roughly pet it like a cat.
"Aw, you purr like a kitten, you rascal!"
After roughly petting "Crackers" for several minutes, he held "Crackeers" in front of Eddy's face.
"Say hello to Crackers, Eddy!" Ed said. Eddy responded by rolling his eyes, and pretending to shake "Cracker"'s hand.
"I'm Eddy."
"I'm Ed." Ed said.
"And I'm in a predicament." "Crackers" moaned.
Ed gasped as he looked at Eddy with excitement.
"He can talk, Eddy!"
"He can talk, yay...c'mon, let's go! Our scam, remember?" Eddy once again pointed to the doorway.
Ed ignored him, and started to hug Cracker's again. But, this time, the hug was more tighter, rougher, Double Dee could feel his chest tightenn every second. Finally, he just about had enough. Double Dee stuck his head under the suit, and managed to escape, despite Ed's rough hugging.
But Ed wasn't paying attention, as he was still squeezing the cracker suit. The suit then broke into a thousand pieces.
Ed didn't even notice that Double Dee was in the suit in the first place. Eddy was not in the mood for it today. As Ed's eyes began to water, he whistled, and snapped his fingers, while at the same time, pointing to the doorway
"Finally, now come on! Let's do that scam."
Ed then looked at Eddy with watery eyes. Hiis lower lip was violently quivering
"Oh, come on..." Eddy rolled his eyes.
Five...
Four...
Three...
Two...
"WAAAAAAAAH! Why must the good die young, guys? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Double Dee, who was more caring, patted Ed on the back, comforting him. He quickly turned to glare at Eddy.
"Eddy, when a friend sad, we should help that friend." Double Dee said calmly.
He was standing in the middle of the doorway.
"Yeah, well I don't give a..."
"Eddy..."
Eddy then let out the biggest sigh anyone has ever heard from him.
"Alright, alright. Keep your sock on."
Eddy walked over to Ed and he, along with Double Dee, patted him on the shoulder.
Well, Double Dee patted Ed on the shoulder, Eddy just stood there.
"There, there Ed. You could get a new cracker. They're easily accessable these days," Double Dee suggested.
Ed replied with a big sniff.
"But it's not the same."
"How are we supposed to do this scam, if you guys are standing here like a bunch of slackers?!?"
Eddy deliberately smacked Double Dee's face. His cheek was now throbbing, and dark red in color.
"Ouch," Double Dee cried, rubbing his painful face.
"Not to worry, guys," Ed said.
Ed got out a big, dirty sock out of his pocket. Eddy quickly held his nose, while Double Dee's face immediately turned bright green, the color of his painful cheek also turned to the color green.
"His name is Phillip,"
"He has been living in my pocket for 97 days now."
Eddy, without any sighing, muttering, or hand gestures, turned around, and walked out of the room.
"That's it; someone get me a ticket to Hell, and stuff coins down my throat, 'cause I'm done," He said calmly.
"Eddy, come back here! You come back here this instant, mister!" Double Dee said, running out of Ed's room.
It was now just Ed and his sock, Phillip, all alone in the room. Ed smiled.
"Let's watch a movie, Phillip." Ed got out a tape from his pocket, and inserted it into the VCR. It immediately started to play.
Ed and Phillip were now on the bed, watching the tape.
"Ooh, here comes the good part." Ed warned.
Screams were heard from the TV moments later. Ed shook a little as he covered Phillip's eyes with his hand (wherever his eyes were).
"Ah, close your eyes, Phillip!"
He then smiled at Phillip, his hand still covered his eyes. Nothing can separate these two.
THE END
* * * *
And now, a lesson from the Eds:
The Eds were in Ed's room, staring at the readers. Double Dee waved politely.
"Today, we learned an important lesson."
"Yeah; always leave your friend immediately once they have a new friend!" Eddy said, jumping on Double Dee's head.
Suddenly, kissing noises were heard from behind them. Slowly, Eddy, and Double Dee turned around, and saw Ed holding Phillip passionately, kissing the dirty sock. The two Eds exchanged glances. Double Dee turned away, as he realized he was starting to get nauseous.
"...The REAL lesson here is that when your friend has a new friend, we have to support your friend, no matter what." Double Dee informed.
"HA!! I wouldn't support my friends for beans!" Eddy scoffed, crossing his arms.
Eddy then looked at Double Dee, who was quizically looking at him.
"Uh...except you! You're different, I...guess...Uh, that's it for now! We'll see you next time!"
The Eds then waved at the readers.
EDITED (8/02/09): THE EARLIER EPISODES NEEDED MORE DETAIL, SO I'M SLOWLY ADDING MORE DETAIL, AND EDITS TO EPISODE 2-5. SO, WATCH OUT.
-Comicfreak1007