The only explanation for this story, just generally is I'm fucked up. But whatever- it's also to show the point of view of a kid slowly going insane, and honestly I couldn't see anyone but Eren and Levi in this. I tried to make it an original short story, but the characters weren't mine- they were Eren and Levi, so I gave in... excuse the total, overall shittiness of the writing quality and everything about this, because I actually haven't really written anything in months. It's great not to have writer's block anymore. Now I just have to work on my original story.
This fic is based off of "Homicidal Rainbow", a spoken word poem by Kai Davis. If you like Spoken Word, I suggest you read it. It kind of sets the tone for the story.
Trigger Warnings: Depictions of violence. Homophobic slurs. Many, many innuendos (but honestly, if you're reading fanfiction I doubt you care about innuendoes). Cursing (but again, I doubt too many of you mind cursing). Depression. Homicidal tendencies and suicidal tendencies (though suicidal tendencies are not mentioned until later chapters).
I will shut up now! Here's the actual story- it's broken up into "Then" and "Now" sections which will be named (and because I'm odd, the names will be... well, odd) but not dated. I hope you like this, even though I feel as though they are slightly out of character. Also, it's not betaed yet but it should be by tomorrow and I'll upload the changes. R&R?
-Sami
Now.
It's Over
He is alone once more.
His breathing comes out in short gasps, drool dripping from his mouth and onto the linoleum floor. His legs shake, toes hanging off the edge of the toilet seat on which he stands. Hunched over and staring at the floor, his arms support him, pushing against the sides of the stall and in his right hand he clutches a small, black gun.
The gun is heavier than he'd imagined it, and the muscles in his arm are clenched tight trying to keep his arm up. He has to keep it up, he has to- he knows if it falls the gun will slip from his grasp and he'll lose his nerve, end up crying once again and abandoning his plan.
"Eren." The voice is angry, and Eren takes a sharp intake of breath. "I know you're in here, you little shit."
"Get out," He finds himself rasping back. "Get the fuck out before I hurt you."
"You wouldn't hurt me," Contempt laces the other male's tone, and he's mocking Eren when he says, "You love me."
With those words Eren's walls begin to crumble, with those words his courage leaves once again and a small sob escapes his lips.
"Get out here, Eren."
"No." The other sighs, annoyed, and surprises Eren by saying,
"I'll crawl under there, you piece of shit. You want to make me do that?" When there's no response, Eren's companion snaps, "Fine. I'll get you back for this."
Eren's eyes widen at the sight of the other boy crawling under the stall, standing, and wiping his hands on his pants in disgust.
"This is fucking disgusting, Eren. Public school bathrooms are filthy."
"Get out, Levi."
Levi stares at him, an expression of contemplation on his face until his eyes land on the gun.
"What the fuck is that?" He demands. Grey eyes meet green and dare Eren to look away. So he won't, he'll prove he can do this, not just to Levi but to everyone. All of them, they'd pay.
But he can't help it; tears well up in his eyes, and another sob rips from his throat, seeming pained. As the tears drip down his cheeks, he still refuses to look away.
"Tch," The shorter boy makes his signature sound of disgust, the one that says I'm better than you, and his hand reaches up to grab Eren's jaw. "What if I kiss you, Eren? Will you give that gun to me?"
If anyone else had said it, it would have sounded desperate, but from Levi, being Levi, fucking perfect Levi, it comes across as condescending and seductive, and the brown-haired boy glares back at him.
"Don't fucking manipulate me. Don't talk down to me. I'm not pl-pl-playing." Levi raises an eyebrow.
"Your nose is dripping."
"God dammit, Levi!" Eren snarls, and his left hand clamps down on Levi's neck suddenly. Levi is shocked; it shows for a second, but then just like most emotions of his, it disappears. It's when he feels the coldness of a gun barrel on his temple that his eyes widen and stare at Eren frantically, fear radiating off his body. But his words still do not betray him.
"I'm not afraid of death, Eren. But you wouldn't kill me."
The barrel is pushed farther into the side of Levi's head, so hard that he knows it will leave a mark, and he bites his lip, hard, to keep himself focused.
If you pretend you're not scared, eventually, it'll become real and you won't be scared anymore.
"You wouldn't kill me," He repeats. "You wouldn't kill anyone."
Eren's breathing becomes ragged, his mouth falling open slightly.
"I will." He hisses, so softly Levi barely hears anything besides the phlegm in the back of Eren's throat. "I'll kill them all."
Then.
How They Met (Otherwise known as Certified Cocksucker)
Eren never had many friends.
People didn't seem to like him very much, but that was okay because he didn't care for them, either.
Besides, he had Mikasa and Armin. So he wasn't alone, per say- it just felt like it. Today, he felt even more alone than usual because both Mikasa and Armin had come down with a nasty case of the flu. So now at lunch, Eren sat alone, slowly and silently eating his sandwich, eyes glancing around warily.
"Hey, Jaeger," A voice snarled behind him. Eren tensed considerably, but not one to give in easily he spat back,
""What, Clyde?" Without even bothering to turn around. The said boy sat down next to him, a smirk on his face.
"Did you see the new kid?" Eren hadn't, but he kept silent, finishing off his sandwich and taking a kit-kat from his lunchbox. Before he has the chance to take a bite, though, Clyde snatched it and took a large bite.
"Mm. Tastes good," He said with his mouthful. Then, swallowing, he continued, "Anyway, you probably think he's a hot piece of ass, right? All the girls do. Well let me tell you something, Jaeger. You'll stay away from him-"
"So what if I think he's a hot piece of ass?" Eren snapped. "It's none of your fucking business."
Clyde leered, and he stood, fists balled at his sides.
"You wanna fight, Jaeger? I bet I can beat a fag like you in a minute."
"Oh, really?" Eren stood as well, fists clenched and shaking in anger. "What do you care who I fuck anyway, Clyde?" This was ridiculous- he'd never even seen this new kid or known he'd existed until a minute ago (let alone fucked him)- yet Eren was intent on proving to Clyde that he couldn't tell him what to do. That he had no power over him.
"All this over me?" A voice suddenly droned. "I'm flattered." A hand was placed on Eren's shoulder, and he startled, unclenching his fists. He could feel hot breath on his ear, and he found his face turning bright red at the words the stranger then hissed in his ear seductively. "But I don't fuck little freshman brats." From behind Eren came a surprisingly short, yet definitely hot boy, looking to be a senior.
This must be the new kid, Eren thought.
The older boy sauntered over to Clyde, and Eren couldn't. Stop. Staring. The stranger had short, black hair which was immaculate, not a hair out of place (as opposed to Eren's typical 'bedhead' look). He had pale, clear skin and a slight figure, with small hips. His body was almost feminine, at somewhere around five foot three (though the boy, of course, was flat-chested), yet he carried himself with such confidence that Eren swore he'd never met anyone so... intimidating. And when he turned around with Clyde's shirt collar in a fist and right arm poised to hit, Eren saw think lips and cold, grey, angry eyes.
He'd never been so enraptured by someone before.
"And you," The boy was now sneering at Clyde. "Don't fucking throw that word around. One day, it will land you in deep shit. Got it?" Clyde nodded, so his captor began to loosen his grip- only to be punched right on the nose.
"You little shit," The black-haired boy grumbled as he pulled his hand away from his face, not even seeming surprised at the hit or the blood now on his fingers. "Well, you asked for it."
His fist came into contact with Clyde's jaw, and Eren's eyes widened as his tormentor stumbled backwards, crying out. Again the new kid grabbed his collar, and this time he pushed him up against the wall. Eren noticed suddenly that the entire cafeteria had gone silent. The boy's words seemed to echo when he hissed,
"Don't fucking mess with me. I'll make your life a living hell." He let go, this time with a shove and stormed out of the cafeteria just as the teachers were about to intervene.
Eren followed.
Eren followed the new kid to the boy's locker room, and watched in silence as he dabbed the bit of blood coming from his nose almost daintily in front of the mirror.
"Thanks for sticking up for me." When the other teen gave him an are-you-fucking-kidding-me look, Eren said, "But I could have done it myself." The shorter boy snorted.
"I didn't do it for you." He wrinkled his nose. "Jesus fucking Christ, what died in here?" Eren laughed.
"There's a rumor some kid shot himself in here in favor of Hannes' class and his body is still rotting somewhere here." He offered.
"I'd believe it. Hannes is an ass." The new kid continued to wipe at his nose even though the blood was long gone. They stood in silence before Eren couldn't help but ask,
"So if you didn't do it for me, why did you..." Don't fucking throw that word around. One day, it will land you in deep shit. The other boy's words suddenly came back to Eren. 'That word'? Did he mean 'fag'? Was he... "Are you..." The word got stuck in his throat. Why couldn't he say it? "Do you fuck boys?" He finally blurted out. Smooth. He covered his mouth, mortified.
"You ask me that before even asking my name?"
"I, uh-"
"Levi. Certified cocksucker." Eren's face turned beet red. "Actually, typically I'm not the one doing the sucking, but whatever. Do you?"
"Huh?" Levi's words were putting images in his head Eren really couldn't afford to have there at the moment. He forced himself to focus on what the other boy was saying.
"Fuck boys." Levi clarified.
"Oh. Um, I want to." Eren didn't expect Levi to burst out laughing. and his face turned redder. "It's not that funny, asshole..."
"So now I know you like dick, but not your name, either. And I thought I was bad at socializing." This induced another fit of laughter.
"It's Eren."
"Eren, huh?" Levi wiped his eyes, washed his face (just to make sure there wasn't a trace of blood left) and began to leave the locker room. "Get to class, brat." He said with his back to Eren.
"See you around."
"Don't count on it."