Author's note:
After watching Skins Fire on tuesday I constantly feel like I need to do something about Naomily. It's like Skins betrayed their most loved OTP and I can't really deal with it :D So I started to write my own "ending". I don't really know where this is taking me quite yet, but I hope that doesn't really matter to you at all. Let's just find out together, shall we?
Let me inform you: I'm not British, nor is English my mother tongue. It still came natural to me to write this in English. If you find mistakes (the story had no beta-read as welll), feel free to point them out. I'd love to learn from this :)
I teared up when I realized just who was disturbing me in the middle of dying and feeling sorry for myself. For a split second I thought I was dreaming but as the weight of the intruder rocked my hospital bed lightly I knew it was true.
"Em.", I whimpered – with no voice at all – but she saw my attempt. And despite the sparkling stars in her own eyes she smiled. She smiled her most beautiful smile. And it was the one thing that finally relieved some of the pain.
"You stupid cow.", my girlfriend whispered softly and stroke over my cheeks. I closed my eyes for a moment and just surrendered to her soothing touch. Yeah, she was right. Maybe I should've told her. It sure would've spared me a lot of pain.
I caught one of her hands and gave it a very small but lovingly kiss. My lips were dry and I felt like scratching her hand open. If so, Emily sure didn't mind. She was clinging to my hand as if dear life depended on it. Literally.
I opened my eyes again to look at the love of my life and saw all those moment again. When we first kissed, when we met again in Roundview, our first time … It was all coming back to me now. So naturally that it scared me a little; they say your life flashes before you just before you die. Maybe fate was kind enough to let me see her again for one last time?
I couldn't read Ems face like I used to. Somehow she seemed numb, her eyes tired, the vivid color of her face replaced by a grayish tone. It made me worry about her.
It took her a moment but eventually she opened her mouth again. "You're such … such a fucking-" – it came out loudly and with such venom that I duck a little – "irresponsible, stubborn, idiotic-" – now I noticed her voice reached unusual highs with every new word, but she also got quieter with every second – "stupid, goddamn twat!" – and that last word came out as nothing but a high-pitched and faint cry.
Emily broke down completely.
Cold sweat formed on my whole body within seconds. I immediately felt sick again and I helplessly clasped to her shoulders. "Oh no, don't cry.", I heard myself say panically. After what happened in our last year at Roundview, I had never seen her like this again. And I swore – to her, but also to myself – that I would never make her feel this way again.
That time I screwed up with Sofia was ages ago, but Em's breakdown was violently bringing back those bad memories, summoning a fierce demon into my consciousness. A demon that had the same face as me and that would forever remind me that I had broken Emily's heart because I loved her.
Because even though I could clearly feel it then, I had never believed that you could love someone that much. I had always been an independent human being, never needing anyone, never wanting to take more responsibility than required.
But she changed all this – with no effort at all.
I denied my obvious codependency because I was a scaredy-cat and had nearly shattered my love to pieces with it.
With not telling her about my fatal illness, I just did it again., I suddenly realized in the depths of my thoughts. I felt a sting in my heart; it was breaking.
Author's note:
That's the first strike – let me know what you think :)