Mesa leaned back in his chair, taking his hands off his Macbook Pro for the first time in days. He had finally finished the first 5 seconds of his new Mother 4 track, Wet Dreams. Sweating, he began to breathe heavy. Beads of sweat trickled off his illustrious hair into his gaping maw. Any mortal that would behold this sight would have ready creamed themselves to death.

Just before he removed his aching lump from the office chair he called home, Discord made a familiar beep. A call request from SirArsen#6669. Shane Mesa groaned and reluctantly accepted the call. "Hey Shane! Sorry I haven't talked to you in a while, I've been busy with all my Jazz gigs from my 5 bands ya know?"

"Shut up homo" Shane rebutled, closing the call. He only had enough energy left to do 2 things; sleep, or look up suggestive images of Jack Skellington x Papyrus on bing.

As Shane used the last of his energy to attempt to click the images tab, the screen began to flicker. He let out a manly roar. "WHAT?! IVE BEEN HACKED BY AN ENEMY GAMER!"

A familiar voice was accompanied by ominous piano playing, like a budget Dracula who couldn't afford a pipe organ. SirArsen stepped out of the shadows. "There's no runnin from me prettyboi, not until you see what I got to show ya"

Shane let out a sound like a pvc pipe being thrown horizontally into the tail rotor of a Lockheed AH-56 Cheyenne travelling 212knots. He should've blocked this dastardly noodle nabber when he had enough energy.

SirArsen leaned over his grand piano and began to remove his belt. "I made somethin great today Shane, you'll wanna see this." He pulled off his boxers to reveal an ass agape, held open by that familiar gray circle...

"That's impossible!" Shane screamed. "You cant shove a pringle can... up your butt!!"

Arsen smirked a wicked smile as he began to flex his assmuscles. Each shake rattled the pringles inside. His eyes met Shane's on the computer.

"I warned you" Shane mumbled

Seeing Shane all undone and sweaty was too much for Arsen. He instantly orgasmed more orgasmic than he had ever before. The Pringle can shot loose into his webcam, but Shane could still hear him fall hard as the room began to fill with his jazz jizz. By morning theyd find him, a sticky shell of a former man. Shane sighed deep and fell back in his chair, he hadnt had enough I'm him to keep going. All he could hope is the cummies would short circuit arsens computer so that he wouldn't be found. Not again. Although he knew Arsen used a work computer, which didn't have as many weak spots his semen soldiers could hit.

"If only gaming computers ran browsers better" Shane sighed. His eyes rolled back and he drifted off for the night.

That morning there was an unfamiliar knock at the door. Shane bolted up, that definitely wasn't Trish knocking, who could it be?

He readied himself, fixed his clothes, and made a stride towards the door. "What's poppin ladi-" he froze. A man toward over him, dressed sharp and armed dangerously. A pair of handcuffs draped over his thigh.

"Mister Mesa, you are wanted for the murder of SirArsen. Please step into the vehicle and remove any and all periscope streaming devices"

Shane chuckled. "Oh, you wanna be my girlfriend for the next 620 miles?"

The familiar hard whapf of a 6' Chance dildo from bad dragon knocked Shane unconscious again, and the car squeeled off to the Gaysa township courthouse.