Got a prompt request so decided to do a serious and more lighthearted take on it and this is the serious one. It was from an Anonymous Ask on Tumblr so here's to you Anon 37 hope you like your pair of fics.
WarNinGs: Religious themes, angst
Aishi Say
"We tried to run,
we tried to hide in fear of losing ourselves, In you I found my only faith,
We tried to keep it all inside so we don't hurt someone else,
When all the demons come alive I'll still be under your spell,
This could be heaven or hell,
This could be heaven or hell
I lost my halo to your renegade
This love could bring me to my knees..."
From 'Heaven or Hell' by Digital Daggers, see MV at end of AO3 version.
Prompt Used: 37. "Because I love you god damn it!" by fanficmarvelchick on Tumblr, type in prompts to find it on my Tumblr if you want to request one yourself.
COME TEAR MY WALLS DOWN ONE BY ONE
Robbie sighed softly as he walked up to Lucy, mind so far away if he was not connected to his baby he would not even be aware he had stopped beside her. He was a fool thinking things could be different, he was damned and the damned only dragged others down with them. Sure someday he might be free of the Rider but that might just leave him as dead as he had been at the start. If it took as long as his gut told him it would everyone he loved would long since be dead dead and gone before he either joined them, or was free with no real point. What the Hell had he even been thinking? How could he have been so willing to drag anyone down with him to forget what he had become? Was he getting worst rather then 'better'? Folding his arms on Lucy's smooth cool hood he sighed as he lowered his head, it was better to end things before they even started. It was logical, it was the moral thing to do, and it made it hurt to breathe just thinking about it. A gentle weight on his shoulder made him spin around and he blinked at the startled face of Daisy.
Daisy had been trying to catch Robbie alone all day but had failed each time and was starting to wonder if the universe was trying to tell her something. Taking one last chance she had headed for the garage and had found him walking up to Lucy. Opening her mouth to call out she had stopped when he folded his arms on his beloved car's hood and bowed his head looking exhausted. It was no surprise with all the testing Fitz-Simmons were doing on his powers, and the actual work he did with them she was sure he had not had a break since returning from dealing with the Darkhold. Coulson had told him to go home for a week and seeing him now she was surprised her boss had waited this long to shoo him home. Gabe had been talking to him via super secure phones she had given the brothers so at least it had not been months since they had last talked, just talked in person. Walking up behind him she gently touched his shoulder since he was still. Taking a step back when she startled him she kept her hands raised with a little smile, "Just me. Sorry didn't think you were that zoned out."
Robbie relaxed the moment he recognized Daisy, not a threat or enemy even if he was not thrilled to see her. At her apology he glanced away feeling guilty and he had not even said a word yet. "Don't worry about it."
Daisy frowned when Robbie looked away before dismissing her apology as he normally would, it was not a serious thing really. She was used to Robbie looking uncomfortable, trapped, resigned, frustrated, and just plain hopeless but mostly in passing moments nowadays. Things had gotten better, more stable, and that made life easier for the good guys all over. "Hey, what's bothering you huh?"
"Nothing," Robbie did not want to do this now, he just wanted to get away from this place and its false hopes clean. Coulson had given him a week and he could decline coming back afterward without worrying about cops showing up at his door.
"Uh-uh, talk Reyes," Daisy knew he was hiding something, something bad if he wouldn't even look at her. The guy had never been shy about watching her like a hawk, or looking to her once they joined forces, so why now?
Robbie shook his head as he crossed his arms, she could order him all she wanted his mind was made up, "No es un perro."
"Got a no out of that," Daisy knew no was still no a little odd since yes was not still yes but whatever. She amused his muttered response was some counter to her use of speak, as if dogs were such bad things to be in the grand scheme of things. Reaching out she laid a hand on his arm, "Come on open up?"
Robbie jerked his arm from under Daisy's hand the moment she laid it flat rather then grabbing the dark leather. Her kindness would be the end of her if he let her in now, it was too late for him but she was not damned just yet. "No I...I need to get back to Gabe, I've been gone for too long." It was true it had only been about two months but it felt more like 2 years since he had last felt his brother's warmth at his side. He needed his brother, to keep him safe if no one else, he had sold his soul to do just that and the Rider could drag him back to His burning crusade once he was sure Gabe would be all right.
Fingers half curled back as smooth leather slipped from under them as if their touched burned, it hurt to have him react that way. Daisy had touched him a few times times since encouraging him to tell his story, she no longer doubted he had suffered exactly what he had claimed he had. She knew next to nothing about demons but she still tried to help him however she could, he was still a good man. Sometimes he fought her, others he accepted her help without protest, sometimes it was a bit of both, but this just felt different. Reaching for him she grabbed his arm this time, feeling muscle tense like steel coils under worn leather, "Don't lie to me, not now after all the insane shit we've gone through?" When he tugged she tighten her grip, she was stronger than she looked and they both knew it, "Stop fighting me!"
"Hands off!" Robbie snapped jerking his arm free, he hated fighting her like this but he couldn't let her fall any further towards Hell then she already had. Trying to save his soul was not worth risking hers, his was already forfeit. Free from her grip he glanced at Lucy, he had to go but his heart was still fighting his head.
Daisy took a step back when Robbie pulled away violently then just stood there still refusing to look at her. She had no clue what was going on in his head, she normally had a small clue at least. "Is it the Rider?" Robbie pulled away from her even more and she guessed she was on to something, "He doesn't scare me so talk to me please?" Robbie said nothing and Daisy had to fight the urge to spin him around and hold him to Lucy with her powers until he snapped out of whatever he was in. "You want to go home to Gabe a mess?" When Robbie looked at her eyes blazing she swallowed, sooner or later she would learn not to invoke Gabe's name to try and control Robbie, it never worked.
Glaring Robbie snarled getting Daisy to back away from him finally, she could not save him and more then she had been able to save Lincoln and Ward before him. All he could do was try and make it as easy for her as he could, loss was nothing knew to him. "Will you stop doing that?"
Daisy relaxed a little when Robbie spoke, his voice strained but controlled he was not about to change or just attack her as is. Sucking her lower lip between her teeth she bit down lightly as she looked away, she really did have a bad habit of pushing her luck with this man and his demon side. "Sorry I was just trying to help."
Robbie closed his eyes, the flames in them dying, "I know, but you can't help me and trying will only drag you down with me."
"Why are you so sure of that?" Daisy knew every defeated and determined tone out there and Robbie was sure, did he know something she didn't or had something else happened?
"Because I love you God damn it!" She wanted the truth fine she could have her answers if that would make her understand. Looking away Robbie tried to take a calming breath but his heart was beating so fast he swore it would just stop suddenly, not that he really needed it beating anymore. When she reached out for him he backed away shaking his head. "I'm damned Daisy, literally not figuratively there is nothing you can do to help me...you cannot save me."
Daisy blinked when Robbie shouted at her, shock keeping her from understanding his words for a moment. He loved her. Reaching out for him once more she froze when he stepped back shaking his head. His voice was defeated and resigned, head bowed, it hurt just to look at him. She had nothing she could say to contradict him, they had all seen what he could do, what he was. Whether the Rider was a demon or alien it owned Robbie now and may very well keep what remained of a person after death. Keeping her hands up she moved closer, he remained still so at least he would not run if she got close. "Robbie I...I believe in a loving God, someone like that would not leave you to burn because you made a bad deal to save your brother, then another to save Mack."
Robbie looked dark eyes shining, "God doesn't want me, he let my parents die, let Gabe get hurt, let me die...why care about me now?"
Daisy sniffed, she knew all about losing people and how it made you question everything and many who lost their faith did so because of loss. She wished she had some answers for him but she knew too little. "My mother tried to kill me, my father had to kill her to save me so He hasn't been that gentle with me either." Chuckling without much humor she shrugged, "Maybe the only way we can protect what we love is by being monsters, worst then ones threatening the innocent?"
Robbie swallowed, he had not known that about her she did not talk about her parents much. Opening his mouth to try and say something comforting he left it open when she continued. "No, you don't want to become what I have."
"Quake wasn't exactly an angel Reyes, if I didn't have human friends I might have become my mother. Don't run because you are worried about tainting me, I won't let you get away with it." Daisy noted a shine on the dark skin below his left eye, saying nothing.
Robbie frowned at the Inhuman, he could not see her waging war on the human race as a whole. "I'm a killer Daisy and as long as I carry the Rider that is all I can be. You need good people around you and that's not me."
Daisy blinked hearing Gabe's words echoing with his brother's, sometimes it was easy to forget how alike they were. When Robbie open Lucy's driver side door she quaked it close, meeting his glare as she quaked him to the door. "You don't get to decide who I consider good people because you are good, even carrying a devil in your heart you are better then a few men I have known. I don't need perfect or pure I need someone who will keep me from being self-destructive and stupid, someone who can take my powers and get back up, you."
Robbie glared when he felt the invisible force press against his chest and arms, he knew he could break her hold if he wanted to. His glare softened as Daisy chided him, he did not need the Rider to feel the truth of her words. She was not willing to let him just walk away, fighting seemingly unwinnable battles was what they did around here. Sighing he bowed his head and felt the pressure fade freeing him to move, he lowered his arms but made no other movements, "You can't save me so why won't you just let me go?"
"Because you are worth saving," Daisy assured her partner as she walked up to him, placing her hand on his cheek feeling him tense but he did not pull away when he gasped softly at her gentle touch. Smiling she wiped the collected unshed tears from his left eye with her thumb. "I may fail but I have to try Robbie, I can't just let you carry this alone because I love you too and I won't lose you without a Hell of a fight." Smiling when he smiled a bit in spite of himself she leaned closer, he was still a little tense but she did not feel like he was about to run from her like a bat out of Hell. "Let me try and I promise I won't let your demons drag me into Hell with you when my end comes." Tilting her head she stroked his cheek, she could live with him being stuck with the Rider for longer then she would live but not with just giving up.
Robbie kept his dark eyes closed as Daisy ran her thumb soothingly over his skin, it had been so long since anyone beyond Gabe had touched his bare skin. The Rider sensed no deceit in her promise, her offer of exactly what he wanted. If he would not drag her down with him then he could be content enough with being the Rider for now. Getting what he wanted always came with a price, a price he would gladly pay if Daisy and Gabe could be spared his fate. Leaning in he closed the small gape between them taking her up on her invitation. A gloved hand stroked her cheek as he pulled away, "Saint Johnson the patroon saint of the damn yet not evil."
"Bit of a mouthful but I don't hate it," Daisy smiled up at the man whose eyes were shining once more with life not tears. Whatever she could do to help this twice damned soul she would try and do, she would not let the Devil just win. Stories told of people getting their souls back and she knew Robbie could manage it once they figured out how without damning another to take his place. Once free they could work on his cosmic balance and worrying about death when it came. "If you want to go see Gabe I won't stop you as long as you come back to me."
Robbie smirked he had been thrown together with her since they crossed paths across flames on that dark road. "Siempre voy a volver a usted." Soft promise was given before he pressed his lips to her softer ones once more. If he could have this, really have this, then he would do whatever she asked of him.
Daisy hummed softly in pleasure, for a guy who had not touched anyone is years he sure seemed to remember how to kiss. Interlacing her fingers at the back his neck she titled her head slightly, she could tell from the tone she would like whatever he had just said, "Care to repeat that for the monolingual people in the audience?"
"I will always come back to you," Robbie had Gabe and now Daisy, two people to keep him human, to keep him him. Kissing her softly once more he lowered his hands and glanced at her arm, "Though first you have to let me go."
"I hate it when you use logic," Lowering her arms Daisy felt better, he was leaving but he would be back. He needed his brother and she knew Gabe missed him terribly. Seeing he was safe and sound would ease the teen's worry and seeing Gabe would help heal some of Robbie's heart. "One week Reyes then I am stealing Lola and hunting your denim class ass down and you won't be as happy when I find it."
Robbie chuckled softly as he opened Lucy's door once more, "If I'll be gone longer I have my phone."
Daisy nodded laying her hand over his on the door frame, "Learning, good boy."
"I'm dense not brain dead," Robbie reminded his partner before slipping his hand free and closing the door.
"Could have fooled me sometimes," Daisy teased, laughing when Robbie revved Lucy before taking off with a salute to her. Waving she turned and headed for her room, a week was not that long and she could always call and check up on the Reyes brothers. Feeling better about the future then she had in a long time she closed the door to the garage with a smile.
COME TEAR MY WALLS DOWN ONE BY ONE
You can go read the lighthearted version now, or other QuakRider fics of mine whichever makes you happier.