Perfections Flaw by): Kiowa L. (Vim)

(Disclaimer: I do not own any Mass Effect characters or the game itself.)
(Pairings: Jack/Shepard (M); Jacob Taylor/Shepard (M))
(Warnings: Slash/Sexual Content/Mild Violence/Language)
(A/N: Jaeser Shepard is a Vanguard who is morally conflicted. He grew up on Earth and did so much wrong and has tried to fix it with doing an immense amount of right.)
(Summary: Jaeser Shepard was… perfect. Mr. Jacob Taylor knew this because he had a list. ...Not that Mr. Jacob Taylor would ever admit that he had a list.)

Perfections Flaw

Perfect

Jacob Taylor just couldn't figure it out... There had to be something wrong with his Commander.

The fact that Mr. Taylor couldn't find anything that seemed like a flaw bothered him probably more than it should. Jaeser Shepard was fucking perfect. He was a goddamned hero with the perfect underdog story. Born on Earth, running in gangs, involved in drugs, a death or two or ninety on his hands... The second he came of age he walked away without a second thought, he wanted something more... something better. He wanted to become somebody.

The 29, or 31, year-old-man, depending on how you looked at it, wasn't just somebody. Jaeser was someone that everyone looked up to. He proved himself on Elysium... Fuck, it was the hottest wedding spot this year.

He defeated Saren, Sovereign, saved the Council, put Captain David Anderson forward as the first human council member, and then died.

The Lazarus Project, Cerberus' Project, brought him back. He still wouldn't trust them though. But Jaeser trusted Jacob, and hell, that meant something... Yeah, it meant a whole lot of confusion for Jacob.

He defeated the Collectors, saved the Normandy crew, wooed the hardened ex-con, and kept everyone alive. Goddamn fuckin' hero.

Even now, as they waited for the shit to hit the fan with the Reapers Jaeser Shepard was sitting quietly, away from the dancing and drinks on Illium. He politely turned down beverage after beverage, liquor related or not, and Jacob realized he never saw the Commander drink anything but coffee or water.

Coffee... That was something. The way Jaeser's eyes seemed like the color of coffee freshly poured and untainted by another condiment... Perfect. Jacob liked his coffee with no creamer or sugar. Strong, refreshing, and hot...

And his skin, it was as if the sun graced him with a natural perfect tan. His body was fucking perfect too. Jacob saw his body in the training room countless of times and Shepard's abs were... well, they weren't as good as Jacob's. Jacob felt his own body was flawless. But Commander Shepard's was perfect.

That light chestnut choppy hair was perfect too.

Jacob snapped out of his thought process when he noticed his Commander stand from the table, a smirk painting his lips... no, not a smirk, Jacob noted... Jaeser never smirked. It was a smile. It was a perfect pearly-fucking-white smile. "Going back for some rest and relaxation, Commander?" Jacob asked, crossing his arms and looking up from the booth he sat at.

"I think I've had enough of watching everyone get drunk tonight." He chuckled lightly, also perfect...

Jacob nodded, acknowledging his comment and watching Jaeser walk out a minute later.

There has to be something wrong with Commander Jaeser Shepard. There has to be a flaw. Just one. That would make Jacob satisfied. That would give him enough evidence to prove that he was still a human.

He just couldn't fucking figure it out.

Weakness

Five minutes went by... then ten... then twenty... then thirty. Jacob hadn't touched his drink. He wasn't really in a clubbing mood for once. Before he could even process anything, Jacob Taylor realized he was standing in the Normandy, outside of Zaeed's quarters. How he got from the club 'Eternity' to one of the lower levels in the Normandy without thinking about it was a mystery. But Jaeser always spent his time down here. Not with Zaeed, but around the corner by the trash compactor. Usually he played with his pocket knife or looked out the window just staring into the seemingly unending galaxy.

The mercenary and the Commander never publicly talked much after Jaeser punched him in the nose and let Vido get away, but they both had an unspoken respect for one another. No one understood how they even tolerated each other, but there was something that had an obvious pull... an invisible connection. No one asked about it either.

Jacob sighed, the door automatically opening when he took another step. Once inside, he expected to see the same scene he always did... Not the bloodied cotton balls, not the gauze carelessly wrapped around his Commanders entire right arm and not the pocket knife being held in between his teeth... covered in the crimson liquid as well. He didn't turn around, and if he hadn't spoken up, Jacob would have thought that his Commander didn't even know someone came in.

"I'll be out in a minute, Zaeed. It's just... it's one of those days."

This... self-mutilation... Jacob didn't know if it bothered him more that the Commander cut himself in the first place... or that Zaeed knew he did. And if Zaeed knew then Jack knew. How could any of them think this was okay?

"What the fuck, Shepard!" He didn't mean to shout. Hell, Jacob didn't even mean to speak. Jaeser didn't freeze, didn't flinch, just changed his stance and turned enough to face Jacob. It was a minute, if not less, of silence, and Jacob raised his voice again, "Sir!" That single word... It wasn't meant for respect or authority at this moment in time. It was a demand. That one syllable now meant: Confess!

Jaeser Shepard took the knife out of his mouth, flipped it close, and threw it in his pocket. "It was a moment of weakness, Mr. Taylor." Jaeser kept wrapping his arm, as if this entire situation was normal. As if it was almost a fucking routine.

"That's bullshit, Shepard! You're a fucking Commander! The savior of the goddamned Citadel! And the hero of the galaxy is cutting his arm like some stupid little juvenile-"

"Human." Jacob glared at him; as if that was the most moronic answer his Commander could have given him. "I'm only human, Mr. Taylor. It's just... It helps." Another moment of silence has passed. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't notify Ms. Chambers, or anyone else, of this incident."

Jaeser grabbed his jacket, calmly put it on, and walked out.

Jacob Taylor was unable to move. He didn't know what to do. If this was the flaw he was trying to find... he didn't want it. So, this moment; this... habit was not a flaw to Jacob. It was a weakness. It was just as his Commander Jaeser told him.

It made Commander Jaeser Shepard human. And Jacob could not make that a flaw... if anything, that just added another thing to that long, long list of perfection.

Mr. Jacob Taylor knew this because he had a list.

...Not that Mr. Jacob Taylor would ever admit that he had a list.

Temptation

Two long awkward days of empty conversations with Normandy staff and painfully silent rides in the elevator with Jaeser had Jacob on edge. He wanted to knock him out and tie him to a chair and demand: "Why!" Because Jacob realized how unusually empty Jaeser's original answer made him feel. More than anything though he had a primal urge to slit Zaeed's throat. "Why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you help him?" But the opportunity to confront Zaeed, let alone kill him, failed to present itself. Then there was Jack who scared the hell out of him still. Jacob couldn't demand anything of her and he knew if it was brought up she'd just laugh in his face.

Jacob was a patient man... But now, for the first time, he was tired of waiting. The mess hall, though full of voices, laughter, and useless conversation, made Jacob feel uneasy and somehow... alone? This was new. He scanned the room, doing a body count. All but three people were there which was unusual. Always one of the three was. Jaeser never missed a meal.

Jacob was definitely tired of waiting. Whether it was because he wanted answers... a fight... or that one specific man, Jacob Taylor wasn't sure. He stood up, made some fake excuse about working on something in the armory, and disappeared into the elevator. He didn't hit the C.I.C. floor, instead selecting the Engineering deck, the doors made a quick and subtle noise before going to the desired destination of Jacob's choice.

Zaeed's laughter could be heard before the doors opened, causing Jacob to cringe in disgust and anger. "You're a funny man, Shepard," Jacob silently walked towards the room, making sure not to get too close so the automatic doors didn't open.

"You're letting Taylor get under your skin and I'm surprised you haven't done anything yet." Jacob could mentally see Jack smirk as she hummed the words out.

"I have self-control, you know." Jayser's voice was disturbingly calm, eerie almost. "Well, only some apparently..."

"Heh, you'll get through this, kiddo. I may not like that you keep doin' this to yourself, but I get it." The sound of Zaeed taking a drag from a cigarette was unusually loud.

The sound of Jack's boots scuffed across the floor, "All it is; is something to occupy yourself with so you don't give in to your temptations." She then laughed, "I still don't see the problem with it though, I'm pretty sure Taylor won't mind you just jumping on him and having your way. He looks at you the same way you look at him."

"Shouldn't you be telling me not to do this?" Jaeser asked as Jack purred a chuckle.

"I don't really care as long as I know. And as long as it's a man."

Zaeed chortled, "Can I jump in on that then?"

An awkward silence filled the air, then Jaeser seemed to realize it was sarcasm, "...Shut up, Zaeed."

"Hah, will do, Commander." Jacob swore he could see Zaeed through the thick metal walls grinning and leaning against one of the many boxes in the room. He was a dirty, old, cocky bastard.

Jacob turned, heading back towards the elevator... Selecting C.I.C., the doors closed, and Jacob couldn't help but wonder aloud, "How does he look at me?" Another thing he couldn't seem to grasp was how he, Jacob Taylor, looked at Jaeser.

Pressure

Frustration was rushing through Jacob's body... It had been another two days since he overheard Zaeed, Jack, and Jaeser, and Jacob started noticing just exactly how he was staring at his Commander. He didn't find it normal... but fuck, he really didn't care. There was a reason he noticed Shepard's perfections, and he finally figured out why he noticed them. Jacob Taylor was lusting after, if not completely infatuated with, his Commander Jaeser Shepard...

His. Jacob liked that thought, he realized as he sipped at his coffee in the mess hall.

"Morning, Mr. Taylor." That familiar tone echoed through Jacob's ears, and his muscles relaxed. Four days without the Commander to share a morning coffee had Jacob realize that he missed this. Missed him.

Jacob watched him head towards the coffee maker and begin to pour himself a drink, "Hey, Commander. I haven't seen you around as often as I'd like." Jaeser almost spilled the cup of coffee he just poured, and Jacob couldn't help but smirk as Jaeser looked over his shoulder. The Commander was analyzing him, searching his eyes for a hidden code that could unlock the meaning to that sentence. Jacob knew that his Commander wanted that to mean something more... but Jacob wanted to make him uncomfortable, if only so he could comfort him himself.

"So, Commander, talk to me. Tell me about your temptations." Jacob's smirk grew smugger as he watched Jaeser's eyes widen.

But the shock lasted only a mere moment, because Jaeser had walked away from the counter, heading towards the way of the elevator, "Good day, Mr. Taylor."

Jacob didn't know what caused him to follow, he didn't know what made him hit the control that sent them to the Captains Quarters, he didn't know what made him shove the Commander in the corner, pinning him to the wall with his own body.

His gloved hands made their way to Jaeser's perfect hair, pulling slightly, and Jacob watched, almost fascinated as his Commander had to bite his lip from possibly making any noise. Intrigued, Jacob pulled harder, watching Jaeser's teeth go deeper into his own lip. Again, he pulled, and couldn't help but be entranced by the blood that was now dancing from his Commander's bottom lip and slowly moving towards the skin on his chin. Jacob Taylor was pleased, to say the least, with this result. Not the factor of the blood, or whether it was from pain or pleasure, but the factor that he, Jacob Taylor, caused Jaeser Shepard to lose a bit of control.

Jacob let go of his Commanders hair and wiped the blood off with his thumb, "You know, pressure is supposed to help stop the bleeding."

And in that moment, Jacob Taylor was shoved up against the opposing wall, Commander Shepard's lips on his... It wasn't gentle, it wasn't romantic, and it wasn't the kiss a hero would give.

It was rough, it was demanding, and it was needy.

Their tongues entangled in a heated battle, not for dominance, just for the fight.

Their hands scratching, yanking, shoving for any kind of contact...

The very second that the elevator door opened, Jacob shoved his Commander back and down so that he was on the floor of the Captains Quarters, Jacob back on top of him, putting as much body weight onto Jaeser as he could. And he really didn't give a fuck if the Commander's lip was still bleeding...

Control

The jacket the Commander wore was gone, unbuttoned, torn, and discarded somewhere on the steel floor. And as the two kissed and bit and licked, they were clawing, ripping, and destroying the rest of each other's clothes. The wife-beater Jaeser had was ripped almost straight down the middle, and he made sure to do just as much damage to Jacob's uniform. Thick cuts throughout the material made Jacob looked like he was attacked by a bear, the blood adding to the possible scenario. But each time Jaeser dug his short nails somewhere on Jacob and tore down, Mr. Taylor couldn't help but shudder or arch into it.

Hands wrapped around throats, pushed harshly against skin, and bruised what they wanted to simply because the other body belonged to them. Boots were kicked off, and Jacob was making quick due to make sure his and the Commanders pants quickly followed.

Jacob didn't take the time to admire him as their bodies collided together once more. He had admired him enough. In swift movements, Jacob had removed the shredded shirts that were barely hanging on them, and pulled his Commander into a bruising kiss. Jacob Taylor didn't ask him, didn't wait to see if he was sure, but he took complete control, shoving two non-lubricated fingers into his superior, receiving an obviously pained, though whispered, "Fuck."

Mr. Taylor didn't cease his movements, though he slightly slowed down, and during the time he did, he noticed that only one thing was still on Jaeser... It was that goddamned gauze from his cutting. He was half-tempted to rip it off, but the thought went away when Jaeser's nails sunk into his back and he growled, "Fucking move, Taylor."

And as he continued to finger his Commander, the other brutal movements continued as well. There would be marks... there would be scars... but they were theirs. Teeth sunk into flesh when Jacob finally took his three fingers out, not remembering when he added another one, and roughly shoved his full length into Jaeser. Jacob saw the tears form into his Commanders eyes, but they did not fall. They wouldn't, Jaeser wouldn't let them. Jacob started with a slow motion, quickening his pace when Jaeser yanked him down for another brutal kiss.

Flaw

The hours went by... Even after Jacob Taylor and Jayser Shepard had finished they still lazily clawed, bit, and pushed each other. And when they didn't want to do that anymore, they laughed. They laughed at the bruises, the blood, the semen covering them, hell, they laughed at how it actually happened.

As fucked up as it was, still lying on the cold steel floor beside one another, Jacob couldn't help but realize how perfect this was too. "We're doing this again." Jaeser said with a perfect pearly-fucking-white smile on his face.

Jacob smirked, "Yeah." He leaned over, kissing his naturally perfect sun-kissed tanned forehead. That was by far the gentlest gesture they had done. Neither of them seemed to mind, it felt right. They didn't need to talk about what just happened. What it meant... They just somehow knew. He smiled lightly as Jaeser nuzzled into the crook of his neck. Breathing in deeply he felt a knot in his gut as he asked the question he wasn't sure he wanted the answer to, "What about Jack?"

Jaeser glanced up, a brow quirked in question, "She's fine with it as long as I stay with her. I can only be with another man though. Only one."

Jacob nodded, feeling proud that Jaeser picked him over any other man and not bothered in the least that he would still be with Jack.

They showered, and Jacob couldn't help but run his hands through Jaeser's perfect light chestnut choppy hair. After they dressed, Jacob having to borrow some of the Commanders clothes, they got in the elevator, Jacob giving another gentle kiss to Shepard, this time on his lips. As the elevator door shut, Jaeser leaned his head against Jacobs's chest, inhaling his scent, and sighing contently when Jacob slowly ran his hand through his hair again.

When the elevator stopped, they pulled apart... Not awkwardly, or nervously. It was natural, and it wasn't necessarily to be away from each other. 'Cause Jacob felt that invisible pull when Jaeser stepped out first. A silent motion saying: "Walk with me." And he did. They turned the corner together, into the mess hall, ignoring the odd stares because of the scratches and scraps, because of the bruises and still lightly bleeding cuts.

As fucked up as it was, they both felt right... serene. It was perfect.

Zaeed walked in, glanced at the two, and chuckled loudly, "It's about damned time!"

The Commander and Jack both laughed at Zaeeds comment while everyone else looked confused. The ex-con gave Jacob a knowing smirk and nod of approval, a glint in her eye that bluntly said: "Don't you dare fucking hurt him." When they sat down at the table next to each other in the mess hall, Jack on Jaesers other side, Jacob realized something he didn't before.

In the beginning, Jacob Taylor just couldn't figure it out...

He believed there had to be something wrong with his Commander. And the fact that Mr. Taylor couldn't find anything that seemed like a flaw bothered him more than it should have had.

The cutting was a weakness. It made him human.

Jaeser Shepard was fucking perfect.

...Mr. Jacob Taylor knew this because he has a list.

And the thing he realized just now was that he found the flaw.

Jacob Taylor now knew he was Jaeser Shepard's biggest weakness.

...Jacob Taylor was Jaeser Shepard's flaw.

And he was fine with that...

My name is Kiowa and I am a writer of poetry, fanfiction, and short stories.

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