A/N: I've had this idea for a while but I never posted it because I was busy with other fics XD All the chapters are in script form (This first one is just VT's and entrances) BB means Big Brother :) no breaks in my BB. I hate commercial breaks.
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood (Unfortunately) Nor do I own Big Brother.
(Davina's stood outside the BB house, crowds behind her)
DAVINA: We're back! Big Brother's back!!!
*Credits roll*
DAVINA: Yes, BB 11 is here! I know you're on the edge of your seats waiting to see the housemates, so I'll keep you waiting no more.
----Cut to----
(A man wearing an RAF uniform in the interview room for BB)
JACK: Hi, I'm capt'n Jack Harkness, I'm 40 and I work for the army.
BB: If you could describe yourself in one word what would it be?
JACK: Urm, Flirtatious. I enjoy nothing more than a good flirt (laughs) I'm omnisexual, which means that as long as it's got a pulse and a phone number, I'll flirt with it! I AM single, so all you ladies, men, dogs, cats, aliens, whatever; today is your lucky day!
BB: what is your best feature?
JACK: My charm. I can make anyone fall in love with me, no matter what their sexuality may be. Whatever the situation I can always find something to flirt about!
BB: What do you think you'd bring to the house?
JACK: Banter and flirting. Whenever you turn on the TV to channel 4 you'll see me and some guy or girl flirting and them blushing and giggling. I'm always up for a good laugh and a good prank but I'll let you know… I always get revenge! (Laughs) Also depending on who's in the house, I can bring romance too! You never know. (He smiles and winks)
*VT ends*
DAVINA: Ok, here he is… IT'S JACK!!
(Jack gets out of the car and heads down the walkway, shaking people's hands and kissing girls on the cheeks.)
----Cheers and wolf whistles from crowd----
(He heads up the stairs, still waving to the crowd) He reaches the top and blows kisses to everyone before entering the BB house.)
(Jack walks down the stairs, breathing deeply. When he reaches the bottom, he turns to a mirror and checks his hair then adjusts it slightly.) He then pushes the door open and enters the BB house.)
JACK (Shouting): Hello!
(Silence.) There is no one there.)
JACK: Oh... (Walks around the BB house.) First one in? Ok, I can live with that. (Turns to a camera) Hello, people, I swear I'm going to give you one hell of a time! I will be THE best Big Brother contestant you've ever had! (He smiles)
------Cut to------
(Davina stood on the platform outside the BB house)
DAVINA: Well, let's see if Jack is the best housemate we've had. Let's keep um coming!!
------Cut to------
(A woman in the VT room with shortish curly black hair. Looks slightly Italian. She's wearing a blouse, a fitted Jacket and a skirt)
SUZIE: Hello. I'm Suzie Costello, I'm 36 and I'm unemployed.
BB: If you could describe yourself in one word what would it be?
SUZIE: Er, brave. Whatever you throw at me I'll do it. Nothing scares me and I'll protect myself and others from danger coz it doesn't faze me at all.
BB: what is your best feature?
SUZIE: My Bravery. Like I said, nothing fazes me, nothing scares me.
BB: What do you think you'd bring to the house?
SUZIE: I think I'd liven the house up. I mean, when we're having parties I'll make it exciting and fun! Just watch and wait. I'm single at the minute, but not looking for love because I want to focus on getting a job first. Sorry (she grins)
*VT ends*
DAVINA: It's SUZIE!!!!
(Suzie gets out of the car)
------Boo's and Jeers from crowd------
(Suzie waves at the crowd as they continue to boo her) She enters the house)
(She walks down the stairs and stumbles in her 4 ½ inch stilettos) She pushes the door open and Jack walks over to her)
JACK: Hi.
SUZIE: Hello.
JACK (shaking her hand): Capt'n Jack Harkness.
SUZIE: Suzie Costello.
JACK: Glad you came… I was waiting for company.
SUZIE: Are we the only ones here?
JACK: Yup.
SUZIE: Right.
JACK: So what was your reaction from the crowd.
SUZIE (Lies): Cheers. You?
JACK: Cheers and whistles
SUZIE: Whistles?
JACK: Yup.
SUZIE: Oh, I got a few of those too. Mainly cheers though.
------Cut to------
(Davina stood on the platform)
------Crowd boos------
DAVINA: She's a LIAR! *Tut-Tut* Anyway… Let's send in another one!!
------Cut to------
(Japanese girl with short straight black hair in the VT room. She's wearing a pair of purple glasses, a pink top, a black fitted Jacket, and pants and heels.)
TOSHIKO: Hi. I'm Toshiko Sato but you can call me Tosh, I'm 33 and I'm an IT consultant.
BB: If you could describe yourself in one word what would it be?
TOSHIKO: Clever. Back at school I was the cleverest person in my year AND the year above me. I won awards for maths, English, science… everything except gym (laughs) I can crack any code, solve any puzzle. My Dad said I was like a superhero! Brainbox to the rescue! (Laughs again)
BB: what is your best feature?
TOSHIKO: My smartness. I have an IQ of 142 and my boss says I should go and work for the government, cracking codes and infiltrating bases or something. But I'm perfectly happy doing what I do now.
BB: What do you think you'd bring to the house?
TOSHIKO: Urm… I think I'd bring knowledge. Whenever you tune into big brother, you'd learn something new and I'd be fun too. So I'm like that crazy fun teacher you used to love at school and you used to listen intently coz of how funny they were. (Laughs)
*VT ends*
DAVINA: Ok, everyone, she's here, she's smart, and she's crazy… it's TOSHIKO!!!
(Tosh gets out of the car and heads down the walkway)
------A mixture of Cheers and Boos from crowd------
(Tosh shakes a few hands and then heads up the stairs, waves to everyone and heads into the BB house.)
(She walks down the stairs, looking at the décor.)
TOSHIKO: Nice colour of the walls. Like the pattern. (She points to the Diary Room door) I take it that's the diary room? (She walks up to the entrance door) Ok… Here goes.
(She pushes it open and Jack and Suzie run over to her) Jack hugs her and kisses her on the cheek.)
JACK: Capt'n Jack Harkness
TOSHIKO: Toshiko Sato.
JACK: Can I call you Tosh? Coz I think it's cute.
TOSHIKO: Sure. That can be my new nickname!
SUZIE (Shaking Tosh's hand): Suzie Costello.
TOSHIKO: Toshiko Sato. (She looks at them both) Phew… That crowd huh? I was confused. Some were cheering me, some were booing. Do they like me or not?
JACK: Dunno, I got cheers and whistles.
TOSHIKO (Turns to Suzie): What about you?
SUZIE: Cheers.
TOSHIKO: wow. So I'm the most disliked out of all of us? Great.
------Cut to------
(Davina stood on the platform)
DAVINA: Poor Toshiko, thinking that she's the most disliked. That Suzie's going to stir everything up. And Tosh such a cute nickname! Isn't Jack such a sweetheart?
************
The rest of the entrances will be over 2 or 3 chapters :) I know this is so random! Should I carry on, coz it was just a dream I had a while back. Please review!! xxx