AN. This is a belated birthday present to my best friend Wesley E. Mattilies, written when i was on holiday in Tanzania. Wesley, Enjoy!

AN. I do not own Star Trek or any of the Characters.

The bridge relaxed slightly after we had pulled free of the black hole that had threatened to engulf us, but only slightly as we were down to impulse power with no warp drives nor anyway of fixing the massive damage to the ship.

I sent the main bridge crew down to sickbay for a quick physical then to bed for a rest and called the relief crew up for duty. They probably had not got more sleep that anyone else but they were among the freshest.

I remained on the bridge to monitor the reports coming from all sections of the ship, engineering, medical, science and security but mostly engineering who had the horrendous task of making sure we stayed in one piece and survived the journey home.

Most section chiefs and senior officers had rotated their crew and Bones had reported that most of the crew were safe and only slightly injured.

Mmh, Bones, I was remotely surprised that her had not come up to pester me about getting sleep or going down to sickbay to see him. He must have a lot to do or his is busy with Pike… or maybe he had followed my general advice to the crew and had gone to sleep. As CMO he needed to be sharp and awake, yeah he would have gone to bed. I would go see him later.

Spock on the other hand, I could not get to leave. He was an impassive statue at the Science Console, occasionally voicing reports or damage or maintenance it was kind of nice to have someone who was not afraid to tell me straight the facts, not sugar coat them, I don not think that I would be able to deal with the report if I got too caught up with emotions.

Sometimes Spock was right about emotion and fear. A captain must always be able to operate fully in the face of fear and I feel that I have grown in that regard. Constant fear for my crew, my ship and my life has filled my every fibre during the past few days and yet I have learned to function as a crew member as well as the captain.

As a few hours past and the main bridge watch was recalled for duty, I decided to call a meeting for the senior officers to discuss the best way of proceeding. I sent a message to Scotty, Bones and Spock who by that time had finally agreed to go down to sickbay to get checked out and to check the status of Christopher Pike.

I made my way down to the meeting, via the bathroom to check how I looked. The room was empty when I got there so I had enough time to stele into my seat and organise some of the files that I had brought, items such as crew list, damage reports and a few notebooks where I could take notes on what was reported to me by the various men.

Spock was the first to arrive, his emotionless face showing no surprise to the fact that I had beat him to the meeting or the fact that I probably looked half dead. He at least looked alright, the minor traces of a dermal regenerator on his previously cut up skin, a clean uniform and he looked like he had been meditating. I just nodded to him, wanting to conserve my limited voice and energy capacity. He just replied with his usual of 'Captain' before sitting down at the seat on my right.

Scotty was the next to arrive and with him he carried a large stack of papers, no doubt dame maintenance reports. Something I was interested in but did not really want to know about. He did not looked like her had changed his uniform or got any sleep or gone down to sickbay since his promotion to Chief Engineer. The scent of engine oil and grease combined with the slightest scent of dried blood that was no doubt coming from one of the numerous cuts on his arms and legs. However his cheerful, Scottish accent and attitude seemed unperturbed by the current situation.

"Heyy Jim, how's things?"

"So, so, Scotty. Everything right in your department?"

"Most things are not going to work properly any time soon, but I will leave that stuff until I report. So who are we still waiting for?

"Just Bones, her said he would be up as soon as he could, something about patients who are crashing don't observe meeting times.

"Ahhh, the lovely Doctor McCoy, never had much to do with him and I don't think I really want to anytime soon."

"Yes, I understand perfectly, he is not someone who is easy to cross or easy to escape from."

Spock cleared his throat and began to speak.

"Captain, you should not encourage Mr Scott to not see Doctor McCoy about his injuries and you definitely should not be avoiding him yourself."

I tried to interrupt or at least defend myself but he continued.

"It would be illogical to jeopardise your efficiency, health and ability to work because you refuse to retract you pride and your illogical fear of the sickbay. You both need to rest; get your injuries checked and go off duty for at least one watch, otherwise Doctor McCoy may report you as medically unfit for…"

His lecture was cut off by Bones' arrival at the door. He walked in, his eyes surveying us with a clinical view, precise and calculating. He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off before he could.

"Now, as Doctor McCoy had finally graced us with his presence we can begin. Spock, you can start with your report as you arrived first.

Spock nodded and started to report about everything to do with the Science Department, excluding medical even though they came under the very broad Science banner, he left that daunting task to Bones. The Science Department had suffered great losses and were only capable of very simple tasks but were mostly alive and able to work.

Scotty then started and I tried not cringe as he listed out the damages to the ship in general and his department but also to his crew members. His report put into stark reality the real damage sustained by the Enterprise but being able to listen to the reports put what he said into perspective as it contained only machines not people.

Scotty was silent for a short while before Bones started to speak. I completely shut down and didn't listen to him except to nod when it was appropriate. It was a sobering experience when I finally switched on, just when he said the final death tolls.

The meeting broke with not much further chatter, each person just as insistent to get back to their departments. I focused on writing notes down and did not notice that Bones had not left until he had cleared his throat and looked at me expectantly.

I just ignored him.

"Jim, you are going to have to look at me sooner or later, even if you haven't been able to for the entire meeting."

"I have so; I have just been busy writing notes and reports. You can see that I am busy don't you?"

"Oh yes, you have been very busy, ignoring you friend and your doctor."

"Yes you have, you have not come down to sickbay, you haven't slept in over 5 days and when was the last time you ate anything?"

"Ahhh, I had a cup of coffee erm… yesterday."

"And before that, when was the last time you had a solid meal?"

"erm." I pause, his blue eyes boring into me, I could suddenly feel every one of my numerous injuries. I felt lightheaded and have to pinch my arm to stop the blackness.

"Jim, you are being stupid, I know that you do not like sickbay and no doubt at some times, you probably don't even like me but you need to get help. You are running on vapours and soon you will run out. If you do not stop soon, Spock will have to take over as Captain whilst you are in a COMA!"

"A coma, you have got to be kidding me. I am sick of this; I am going up to the bridge."

"Sure…"

I was surprised at his lack of arguing but decided to not push my luck. I quickly moved my chair away from the table and stood up hoping for a quick getaway but failed miserably as I pitched forward, aiming for the table. I was about to hit the table when strong arms stopped my fall. I blacked out as I heard Bones calling my name loudly.

Finis