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Time Stands Still

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Chapter 1: Letters of Love

I stared at the blank remnant of paper in front of me. I had sat aimlessly for hours trying to word my next letter to Edward. My heart longed to speak to him, but my mind could not express my feelings through mere words. It was much like a song with no melody, or a piano with no keys-having potential yet ineffective. My writing time was growing short as the sun was sinking behind the clouds, and candle light was not an appropriate way to write a letter such as this. I looked over to the lone bed in my room, one of only two rooms in our tiny apartment. The cold hard metal reminded me of how desolate my life was, and how I loathed my own mother for bringing me to such a place as this.

My life, for the first time, had resembled peace and tranquility while I lived in Chicago. My mother and I stayed with my dearly beloved great Aunt Matilda. Auntie Mattie was my grandfather's sister and my very favorite person on earth. She was lively and eccentric. She enjoyed life and infected everyone around her with happiness. She was the only wealthy member of our family, but to look at her you would never know she had so much as a nickel. Auntie Mattie's first husband had helped to develop the railroad through Chicago. After his untimely passing, she married an older gentleman from the community, Ernest Russell. It had seemed strange for a young woman of thirty-five to marry a man nearing his seventies, but her love for Ernie, as she affectionately called him, was genuine. Ernie was a successful architect in Chicago and had a small fortune built up when he married Mattie. Ernie died, leaving Auntie Mattie a widow, for the second time, at the age of 50. Being the savvy shrew that she was, she continued the business and only expanded on their fortune. Because she never had her own children, Mattie had always loved me.

Her home was in the heart of Lincoln Park, and I was astonished to be able to attend Robert A Waller High School. I never felt like I belonged in such an upscale neighborhood, but I loved it just the same. The opportunity to attend such a modern academic institution as Robert A. Waller was, to most people, a dream. Not every American city could boast such a wonderful school with extended liberties to young woman. I thought a great deal about my time there and the opportunity I had lost. My heart became more and more barren with each memory.

Like most first days at a new school, I felt like a sideshow attraction in a traveling carnival. The stares and whispers were all the same, no matter what city I was in. A normal girl would have gone unnoticed in a school as big as this, 870 students to be exact. My gauche presence however would set me apart from the rest. I could easily look at the worn fabric of my dress skirt to know I didn't belong.

My second class of the day was science. I walked down the hall to the science room with shaky hands. I entered the classroom to find a lone seat in the back. Unbeknownst to me, the next minutes of my life would be the most pivotal. Every fragment of life's happiness I would endure would rest on these next minutes.

I took my seat at the wooden table beside the most handsome man my young eyes had ever laid upon. I couldn't turn away from his green eyes. His hair was longer than most of the other boys and was tousled about his beautiful face. It was an unusual shade of bronze and so free and soft. He looked intelligent but dangerous.

My lips parted to greet him, but the air in my lungs wouldn't move. I couldn't form a sentence.

He smiled at my obvious discomfort. His facial features were so immaculate that I was sure his mother must have painted them on. A perfect, strong, jaw line, straight nose, and full lips. His piercing green eyes were surrounded by thick dark lashes.

"Hi, I'm Edward Masen. Nice to meet you," he said as he extended his hand toward me.

I gladly returned the gesture, only nodding, still unable to speak.

"So you're new here, aren't you Bella?" he asked in a smooth, even voice. I was a bit taken aback as he called me by my preferred name and not my real name. Everyone else had greeted me with "Isabella." The sound of it annoyed me. How could he have known? My gaze intensified as I studied him. He was very perceptive

"Yes, this is my first day," I finally muttered to him as I looked away. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a tiny smirk form on his lips, and I wondered what he had to be so happy about. Was he secretly mocking me? It was obvious I wasn't of Lincoln Park stature. I didn't need his scorn to remind me.

I began to fidget uneasily at the sleeve of my tattered gray sweater and was washed with relief when Mr. Howard began his lecture.

When lunchtime came around, I found myself alone in the cafeteria. The noise of chatter was almost deafening, and I had decided to eat outside when I saw a figure motioning for me. It was Anna. I recognized her from my first class of the day, English. She was now waving feverishly at me. I picked up my stride, brown paper bag in hand, to join her.

"Sit with us, I'll introduce everyone," she announced. I sat down and begin to examine the contents of my lunch sack: an apple, and last night's potato cake. My stomach ached in disapproval.

"This is John and Henry," she said, pointing to the two boys on the left side of the table. "This is Margaret and on the end is Mary."

I nodded at each of them and said, "I'm Bella."

After the introductions, the original conversation picked up, and I was relieved when the focus was off of me; I was uncomfortable answering so many questions about myself. I focused more on my lunch than my company. That was until Edward Masen entered the cafeteria.

I couldn't help but stare at him. He was exquisite, exactly the mold for a mythical god. My eyes followed him as he made his way to the back of the cafeteria. He sat at the corner table alone.

"That's Edward," Mary noted observing my obvious gaping.

"Yes, I have science with him. I've met him already," I informed her.

"He's kind of strange. A loner," Henry piped up.

"Just because his father is an attorney and his family is wealthy he thinks he doesn't have to be friendly," Margaret confessed.

I thought it vain to pine for him. I was a second class citizen, but I was drawn to him, and I refused to look away. He caught my stare and offered a grin. I responded shyly, then with more enthusiasm. The cafeteria became a flurry as the students flocked to their next classes. I lingered for a bit to allow the others to go ahead.

"Is your day getting better?" His voice sounded smooth and even. The voice of an angel could not be sweeter.

"It's well," I replied.

"Without sounding forward, shall I walk you to class?"

"Indeed," I smiled.

Over the next few days and weeks, I became very much attached to Edward Masen. By the time the school year ended, we had become inseparable. I yearned to be next to him, to feel the electricity between our skin. Every second spent apart from him was spent dreaming of his beauty. I missed the warmth and happiness he offered me, just by being present.

Margaret and Henry proved to be wrong about him. Their judgments were only presumptuous idiocies. Edward was the friendliest, noblest, and most gracious person I knew. Unlike the other students at school, Edward was wise beyond his seventeen years.

I interrupted my thoughts to glance back at the vacant paper. It was still empty and void, much like my own life. Why could I not get the words to flow? Writing Edward had always been natural, and yet I sat in the diminishing light, searching for words.

I reminisced to the first letter I wrote to Edward after leaving Chicago, every sentence, every word of it, etched into my heart.

June 3rd, 1918

My dearest Edward,

Time without you stands still, and my heart breaks with misery just knowing you are far away. My love for you still burns hot, and I relish the memory of your beautiful face. I long to walk beside you once again and hold your hand. It's your grace and warmth that I miss most of all. When I breathe in, your scent is present. When I close my eyes, your face is visible. When it's quiet I urge my ears to hear your soft, supple voice. I vividly hear you calling my name sweetly.

I'm trying to settle in here, but I agonize over this city. It's doleful and malignant and I miss you. I yearn to be with you, in your embrace. My dreams are the only thing I have to look forward to. Each night I am visited by your memory, and my hope is renewed once again-just knowing that I belong to you, sweetheart. My tears are a steady inescapable flow, ceased only by happy thoughts of you. I need you to continue to exist.

I've busied myself with reading: Dickens, Shakespeare and the like. My days are spent mostly alone as Renee is working at the beauty parlor. I don't know what enjoyment she possibly derives from such an occupation. At least the time away gives me a break from the incessant arguing with her. The days until Daddy arrives home continue to grow. His letters to us have stopped and we can't help but to fear the worst.

I hope to hear from you soon, my love. As my heart grows more and more weary, please know that I'm missing you. I should offer my gratitude for the love you have expended to me, for allowing me to feel a thousand emotions at once-and all of them grand. Until the day comes, that I can wrap myself in your loving arms, please count the stars to know how much I love you. When you've counted them all, every last one, start over. Because my love for you is endless and cannot be measured, even by the night's stars.

Forever and always,

Bella

June 10th, 1918

My Beloved,

How incredibly happy I was to receive your letter in the mail today. I cannot express my pleasure in a single letter. Time stands still for me as well. The winds around me are like a broken clock, forever immovable and irreparably damaged. My heart breaks at the misery you must suffer. Separation is an evil endurance, but my love for you in unwavering.

This war and disease have devastated our community. It disgusts me to stand silent, while so many are in aguish. I pray peace for you, and I pray mercy on your Father. Be patient with your mother. As much as your heart longs for me, her heart longs for Mr. Swan. Absence will truly make one mad. I am growing worse by the day just being without your lovely face.

The summer days drag on without you. I have not one other friend in the world besides you-not one other soul that I wish to confide in. I, too, yearn for the day when I can laugh with you and hold your hand. The memory of your sweet lips as we said goodbye keeps my wretched heart beating. If not for your beautiful memory, I would surely have surrendered myself to death.

I promise that we will be together soon, my love. I am fervent in my devotion for you. Each sunset reminds me that I'm one day closer to being with you, again. My hope is to hold you once again before summer's end and to feel your sweet soft kiss against my cheek.

I will count the stars every night just as you asked. And, as great as your love for me abounds in the stars, my love for you is much greater.

Eternally yours,

Edward

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A/N

Okay, I'm out of my element here. I'm officially writing an Edward fic. I'm still Team Jake so don't fret. Please let me know what you think of the story so far. I know it's hard to tell after one chapter but your reviews matter. Also don't forget the 'Sort of Beautiful Challenge' see my profile for details.