It was a boring morning in the Haunted Mansion. The Hitchhiking Ghosts sat in the library as guests passed in Doombuggies. However, they didn't really feel up to it ti deliver scares...
"Boo. Boo. Be afraid," said Ezra, without much tone.
"Fear my ghostly presence," said Phineas, sounding like his friend.
"Somehow I think that we're not too enthusiastic about scaring people anymore," sighed Ezra, as he read a ghost story. They both noticed Gus swinging his ball and chain at a few people. "Well, there's Gus, but he's always been crazy."
"I wonder why we're not excited anymore..." said Phineas.
"We're always in this mansion! Sure, they do their best to keep it nice and dirty, but it's not the kind of place you wanna spend your afterlife in! Look at Cinderella! HER permanent home is a castle."
"Yeah, but every morning she has to entertain a bunch of screaming girls," Phineas pointed out. "We've got it good. Look at the Splash Mountain critters! Right from their little windows, they see stupid-looking cast members dressed as them, doing..." he shuddered. "'Meet and greets.' That's torture for them, when they know they could do a better job! Plus, Disney's holding back their movie!"
"But look at the other ghosts! They're just as bored! The ballroom ghosts are tripping up on their dance moves, the pop-up ghosts just sit up slowly, the singing busts are rapping, and even Master Gracey, OUR VERY OWN GHOST HOST, hardly has any enthusiasm!"
Gus walked over to them, proudly holding his chain. "Hey, did you see the look on that guy's face?"
Ezra kept reading. "Better tone that down, or they'll make you stand in one place and shift your weight, like that suit of armor guy who got too physical."
"Eh, even I'm tired of being treated like Heffalumps and Woozles," said Gus. "This ain't Tokyo Disney, so why are we acting like this is Fantasyland? We should go out and be scary!"
Ezra looked up. He had an idea, which wasn't always good for the other ghosts. "Go out...and be scary?
"Tonight IS the 'Not-So-Scary Halloween Party...'" thought Phineas.
Ezra looked enthusiastic. "Well, I say we get ALL the ghosts to come out of the mansion with us and scare everyone in the park! Forget 'Not-So,' this is gonna be one scary party! Spread the word, boys! The guests are gonna be wishing upon a star for a new pair of pants by the time we're done! The grim grinning ghosts are coming out to socialize!"
The hitchhiking ghosts jumped into a random Doombuggy. "Mind if we hitch a ride?"
"Get out of the ride vehicle!" yelled the guest riding in it. Gus calmly knocked him out with his ball and chain. "It's called a 'Doombuggy,' genius."
"I swear, they're gonna take that away from you," sighed Phineas. The ghosts passed through the various rooms of the mansion, calling out to all the other spooks about their plan for that night. They stopped calling when they reached Leota's room.
"Stop! It's Leota!" whispered Ezra. "If she leaves the mansion, she may blow up the park!"
"Act natural!" Phineas told them. He tired to make small talk with Leota as the Doombuggy passed through. "Uh...hey, Leota! Still annoyed at all the people who refer to you as a 'disembodied head?'"
"Yes I am. Still annoyed at people occasionally calling you '997, 998, and 999?'"
"Well, there's always room for one more!" said Ezra.
"Idiots," Leota whispered to herself as the ghosts disappeared into the Ballroom. "I heard your stupid plan. Don't think I don't have a plan..."
The ghosts continued through the mansion, into the graveyard, ending up back in the foyer. "We still need Gracey," said Gus.
Ezra stood up, determined. "This, my friends, will be our greatest challenge. We must handle it with care...HEY, GRACEY! GET OUT HERE! WE WANNA GO OUT AND SCARE PEOPLE!"
Gracey appeared. "Absolutely not! You know what that mouse will do if we invade his party!"
All the ghosts in the Foyer looked disappointed. "What happened to the fun Gracey who would show his corpse off to the guests?" asked Gus.
"Yeah," said Phineas, "we should just replace him Jack Skelington's giant head or something..."
"Hold on!" said Gracey. "I'm scary! I'm just as good as you three!"
Ezra and the others laughed. "You are not! Sure, you set the mood, but you're not scary."
"I am too!"
"Then prove it! Night has fallen, we're all ready to go, and you should come along! Really freak those kiddies out!"
"Well..." The ghosts all gathered around their leader. "Fine. Let's go on our little rampage."
"YEAH!" cheered the ghosts. Anyone passing by the mansion would have seen an amazing sight. Almost every single ghost (minus Leota and her daughter, Little Leota) marching out, all singing.
(sung to the tune of "Hey! A Movie")
Ezra: There'll be lots of screams
I can't wait to see
It is quite a lark to raid a park
That's like Disney!
Ghosts: Hey! A rampage
Ezra, Phineas, Gus: Yeah, we're going on a rampage
Led by everybody
Phineas: And me
We'll scare all those kids
When we're on the prowl
And they're gonna fear
Us when they hear our ghostly howl
Ghosts: Hey! A rampage
Gracey: Although Mickey won't be happy...
Ghosts: Led by everybody
Gus: And me
I'll swing my chain
Can't wait to trash the place
Pop-Up Ghosts: Can't wait to see
The look on Mickey's face
Ghosts: There'll be grinning ghosts
There'll be singing busts
And the kids will shriek when they see freaks
Who look like crust
Hey! A rampage!
Emily the Bride: "Look like crust?" I don't get it!
Ghosts: Led by everybody!
"And me," said Leota, watching them from her room inside the mansion. Little Leota sat in a chair by her.
"Just wait..." Leota said to her daughter, "sooner or later, those ghosts will upset the wrong people, and then..."
Unaware of the head in the crystal ball, the ghosts were still walking through the park. "Where is the party being held this year?" asked Gracey. A Raven flew over.
"I've seen it! It's in front of the castle!"
"Halloween?" growled Gus. "THERE? What a disgrace!"
"SO..."
Ghosts: There'll be lots of screams
I can't wait to see
It is quite a lark to raid a park
That's like Disney!
Hey! A rampage
Yeah, we're going on a rampage
Led by everybody
Everybody
Everybody
And me!
And so, as Chapter 1 ends, the ghosts march into Fanstasyland...