THE ULTAMITE MOVIE STAR CLASH!
Authors Note: A parody double-shot that takes place when Jun Tao starts fight Yoh. Everything will involve: randomness, awkwardness and special guests. WARNING: Beware of character parodies!
Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King or anything else.
Chapter 1: The Weirdest Fight To-Begin!
Yoh, Anna and Manta walk out-
"DON'T FORGET ME!!" Amidamaru shouted angrily.
What ever and Anna begins thinking of something that bothered her since she came to the movie.
"Is being in a tutu tough and fattening?" Anna asked to Manta.
"Why does that matter?" Manta asked in Spyro's voice (Elijah Wood).
Anna slaps Manta hard on the cheek that sends him crashing to a crate, like Nazo did in the Power of Nazo.
"…. Aww..." Manta complained.
"… Um, I didn't see that crate, and how did it get-" Yoh began but stopped when Anna got a Shot Gun.
"SHUT UP YOU CRAP, YOH! AND I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF I TALKED ABOUT A TUTU!!!" Anna screamed like a Rugby Player.
"O_o" Yoh speechless.
"Ha, ha, ha! You would look fat like a Rhino if you wore a tutu Lady Anna!!" Amidamaru laughed.
"RAAAAAAAR!!" Anna shouted then begin shooting her Shot Gun at Amidamaru.
"AHHHH! Don't kill me!" Amidamaru screamed like a girl and blocked his self.
Even thou Amidamaru hasn't notice that he is the biggest idiot, ever, the bullets went through him, 'cause he is a ghost. Amidamaru looked down at himself.
"I'm alive!" He said happily.
"Um, Amidamaru," Manta began in his voice as he got up and went to his 'friends' of his. "You're a ghost, so you can't die…" Manta explained as a girl, awkwardly.
"… Oh, I knew that!" Amidamaru replied, with a hint of embarrassment.
"What a loser you are Amidamaru…" Anna said harshly.
Amidamaru went to a random place, plated out 'time out corner' where he suddenly became depressed.
"O_o" Yoh and Manta.
"Hmph, I expected that samurai to be better!" A girl called out in the shadows. "Eh, Yoh Asakura?"
"Wha!? How did you know my name? ARE YOU A STAKER!?!" Yoh shouted.
"Um, no," She paused and magically got out of the shadows.
Before she could say something, she tripped over her robe and hit face forward on the ground.
"Ow! Shit! I ruined my dramatic entrance! And were is the awesome theme music!?" The girl demanded.
Suddenly the music 'Crazy Frog' plays and the girl gets annoyed.
"Agghh! This theme music is so crap!" She moped as she got up.
"…Hey, what do you want, vomit-color hair!?" Anna demanded.
Green-Spiky-Hair Girl gasped. "Why you- I'm Jun Tao, I'm a-" Jun Tao pauses as the music changes to 'Alejandro' by Lady Gaga. "Why must this music be depressing!? I'm a Dao-Shi*"
"What the Shaman is a Dao-Shi!? A WARRIOR!?" Yoh called happily.
"… You're thinking of Ti-Shi; I'm a Dao-Shi, and it's someone cool." Jun Tao explains.
"Why was 'Dao-Shi' underlined?" Yoh asked as he checks the script.
"How in Shaman's name did you get the scri-" Jun asks but Yoh is hit by Anna's iron bat.
"I'll take that script!" Anna shouts and burns the script.
"Um, where did you get that bat Anna?" Manta asked, frighten.
"… Good question; I dunno" Anna shrugs.
"O_o um, any way, I want to make a request with you Yoh Asakura" Jun begins.
"Is it to trade my Crimson Dragon with your Stardust Dragon?" Yoh asked as he got out a Yu-Gi-Oh card and shows it to Jun.
"Ah, no, but I will trade my Speed Warrior for that" Jun replied as she showed her Yu-Gi-Oh card.
"Heck no!" Yoh pouted.
"Fine! Then I'll give you my Junk Warrior and Speed Warrior!" Jun haggles as she showed another Yu-Gi-Oh card.
"IS THIS THE SHIT REQUEST YOU WANTED!? THEN YOU GO TO RANDOM PEOPLE AND GET CRIMSON DRAGON!?" Anna screams.
"…. Oh, right the request! I forgot about that!" Jun realized.
"…" Anna, Manta and of course Amidamaru quiet.
"May I pretty please have your samurai ghost…? That my wittle brother wants? Known to you as Ren?" Jun asks.
"OMG, Ren!?" Yoh replies in a shouting tone.
"Shut up, kid! We need some rest!" A random person from a balcony shouts then closes his window.
"Ya, what he said, and I don't want any trouble, after all…" She pauses dramatically. "Since you see that I'm a Yu-Gi-Oh master-" Gets interrupted.
"I'm da Yu-Gi-Oh master!" Yoh protests.
"Shut up! -And how powerful and awesome Lee is, he won't need to beat the crap out of you!" She begins and starts to pull up her robe at her leg.
"OMG!" Manta starts and covers his eyes. "Don't need to pull up your skirt to show your legs or phi!" Manta states still covering his eyes.
"Hey, I'm not trying to show my legs! And this is a robe, not a skirt or knickers!" Jun explains in embarrassment.
"What the Shaman do you mean? Your 'Lee'?" Anna asks.
Anna looks closely and thinks 'aww, why can't I have pretty legs like that?' and then sees talismans.
"Jufu… Talismans? A Dao-Shi!? Oh, crap…" Anna mutters under her breath. "YOH, GET THE SHIT OUT OF THERE!? She's a Shaman! And she'll summon a monster!" Anna warns.
"OMG, you mean she'll summon Stardust Dragon!?" Yoh asks.
"No you idiot!" Anna shouts.
"Hey, fatty! I'm trying to sleep!" The same man shouts from the balcony.
Anna throws a pot and it magically hits the guy who makes him fall out of the window, three meters high, and lands on the ground, dead.
"I'M NOT FAT!!" Anna screams angrily.
"O_o" Everyone.
"… Ok, well, we Dao-Shi have existed for many years in the ancient times, and we use talismans to control ghosts!" Jun explains awkwardly.
"Ahhh! You're a hypnotist!!" Manta screams like a girl.
"I'm not a-" Jun pauses and Manta continues.
"I PLANTED A ROTTEN EGG AT MY DADS CHAIR, AND IT HAD A GRENADE AND IT BLOWED UP AND HE WENT TO THE HOSPITIAL!!" Manta explains in mercy.
"…. Ah, not to waist this double-shot, but I'll summon my war-" Jun gets interrupted, again.
"What do you mean? A 'double-shot' Jun?" Yoh asks.
"Crap…! Um, I don't really know" Jun shrugs.
"AGH, just get to the point!" Anna shouts.
"Oh, right, um, come Bailong Lee!!" Jun shouts dramatically.
Magically Bailong comes from the ground and coughs.
"It's about time!! I couldn't breathe in ze earth for long!" Bailong said in a French Accent.
"ZOMG, its Lee! It's him!" Manta screams like a Fangirl and goes to him. "May I have your auto-graph?" Manta asks as he got a random picture of Lee and a pen.
Lee kicks Manta who is shot 20 000 meters in the air and is gone.
"Phew, at least it got rid of that shrimp" Anna sighs.
"Hi Anna!" Manta greets as he magically appeared next to Anna.
"WHAT TH- how did you get here!?" Anna demands in shock.
"…. I… I… I dunno" Manta 'explains'.
"….. You guys are weird…" Jun states
"You are right ma cherie, ze boy and hiz friends are weird" Lee agreed with a nod.
"H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-Hey! Lee isn't a ghost, that's his body! How can that be!?" Manta stammered.
"He's being controlled by her spells… Known as a Jiang-Si" Anna sighs as she explained.
"Correct, and now you have seen how powerful he is; he is indeed a perfect weapon of mass destruction as my corpse puppet" Jun stated, trying to sound dramatic.
"… You really suck at being dramatic, ya know?" Yoh replied, trying to sound nice.
"I know! But I'm almost a young adult! Why can't I be dramatic as other people!?" Jun shouts sadly.
"How the heck should I know!?" Yoh shouts back.
"I don't give a shit anyway! Hand over the samurai if you want to live" Jun changes topic.
"Neva! I'll never give him to a vomit-color-hair girl like you!" Yoh replies and gets Amidamaru in Foxfire mode.
"You're a good guy, Lord Yoh" Amidamaru sniffs happily.
"Hmph, you lead with no choice," Jun pauses. "Attack Bailong Lee!!" Jun demands as she throw her talisman.
The talisman went at the speed of light, but missed Bailong Lee.
"Holly crap! I missed!?" Jun said in shock.
"You suck!" Someone called out.
Everyone turned, and Jun Tao gasped in deep shock.
"Midna, from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess!?" Jun stated.
"Say it, say it!" Midna protest.
"… I suck…?"
"YAAA! YOU SUCK, VOMIT-COLOR-HAIR!!" Midna shouts happily.
"WILL YOU PEOPLE STOP CALLING ME VOMIT-COLOR-HAIR!?!" Jun shouts and goes to a guy and by a Red Machine Gun, and starts firing it at Midna. "RAAAA!!"
Midna gets shot a lot of times and faints.
"O_o"
"Holy shit! You killed Midna! Bring on the fight!" Yoh shouts angrily. "INTEGRATE! AMIDAMARU!" Yoh finishes as Amidamaru takes control.
"Awesome! Yoh integrate in 1.5 seconds! Not bad! My torture training paid off!" Anna shouts happily.
"Let the movie star fight of the year kick some ghost butt!!" Jun declares.
"I WILL BE BETTER THEN JACKIE CHAN!!!" Lee shouts as he got out his nunchaku.
"Quit speaking a French Accent!" Jun demands.
As Yoh went up close to Bailong Lee, he nock of Yoh's sword with his nunchaku.
"Crap, my sword…!!" Yoh groans.
"Ha-ha!" Jun laughs like Nelson from The Simpsons. "Suck! A samurai is useless without his sword!! Bailong will beat the crap and shit out of you!!" Jun replies happily.
"I say chap, I will be better then Jackie Chan! Cheerio then!!" Lee states determinably, and guess what? Speaks a British Accent!
Bailong Lee does an upper-cut at Yoh's stomach.
"OWW!" You scream, and is now in the air. "AGGH! I HATE HIGHTS!! PUT ME DOWN!" Yoh complains.
"I say chap, there's no need to get under the collar. Jolly good my master is, eh my boy?" Lee explains with a shake of his head.
"Ya see? You can't beat me! All fear my power! BWWWHAAA!!!" Jun laughs like a sick person.
"Hey, that's a quote that Maiko says in Dragon Drive!" Manta stated.
"Shut up! And now, hand over the samurai, or else…" Jun frets as she touches Yoh's chin.
"Get your dirty hands of me, ya chick! I'll never give him to you!" Yoh replies suddenly.
"Dam, why can't I be dramatic!? So, you rather die?" She asks and bites her finger, and screams. "Shit! That actually hurts!!" She screams and sucks her thumb.
"… You're a psycho, you know that?" Anna stated harshly.
"HA, ha, ha! I know you are!" Jun shouts as she writes on the talisman in her blood.
"… An abnormal psycho" Manta added.
Jun throws the talisman to Bailong but misses.
"What the- I'm NOT biting my finger again!" She groaned.
But the slip magically got on Bailong Lee's fore-head.
"Well chap, prepare to die! Cheerio then!!" Lee begins.
Bailong throws Yoh high in the air, and he starts to scream, for he has the power of one thing… Vertigo!
"Bailong will fight until you die!!" Jun shouts, and coughs. "God, I need some tablets" Jun states and looks around.
"I say, my master needs a tablet. Jolly good then!" Lee replies happily as he gets a tablet and throws it, while bashing Yoh.
Jun coughs and the tablet goes in her mouth, and she drinks a random cup of water.
"Hey, since when does a dead guy have a tablet?" Jun asks in a shouting tone.
"Well, being in the earth sort-of chocks you, if you know what I mean my master. I say, this is jolly good exercising" Lee explains.
"… Seriously, stop talking these different country accents" Jun replies.
"Can't do, mon" Lee states as he now speaks a Jamaican Accent.
Lee then does a kick called something I can't be bothered to say, and Yoh is shot 30 000 meters in the air.
"AHHH, I SUFURE VERTIGO!!" Yoh shouts high above.
"OMG, Yoh's alive! Eh, Anna?" Manta says happily.
"I bet you 400 yen that Yoh dies" Anna negotiates as she shows some of her yen.
"700 yen if he dies from Lee's Hong Zha Jiao move! Or, Bomb Kick I English!" Jun replies as she shows her yen.
As Lee does the Bomb Kick, everything is in slow motion.
"He… Beat me…!" Yoh says in a dying tone as he collapses.
"HOLY SHIT! Yoh, are you alive!? Yoh, Yoh!!" Manta screams.
"YAAA! I win 700 yen!!" Jun shouts happily.
"… Shut up ya crap!" Anna groans and gives her 700 yen.
"Y-you killed Yoh you monster chick!" Manta shouts.
OMG, the sad music from Titanic by James Cameron plays out of no where.
"H-he was my only friend, and you took him away from me!" Manta begins as he cries.
"Ya, so? He asked for it, and yet, no one survive Lee Bailong's ending blow. Any way, I'll take the samurai, thank you very much" Jun replies with a smirk.
"You took everything away from me! And, and I LOVED HIM!!" Manta screams.
"O_o" Jun Tao speechless along with Lee.
"…….. I LOVE HIM, YA CREEP!!!" Anna shouts madly.
"Ohhh oohhh oohhh! Caught in a Bad Romance! Ohhh ohhh ohh! Caught in a Bad Romance! Ra ra ra ra ra! Roma roma roma ma! Ga Ga, Ola la!" Manta pauses as he gets hit by an iron glove.
"SHUT UP! You can't even sing!!" Anna shouted.
"Any way, Yoh had no chance against Lee Bailong! Why did Lee Bailong do this!? He was my hero, and I was his biggest fan! I even got tickets to the Academy Awards!" Manta sniffed.
Manta gets slapped by Anna for the forth time.
"Aggh for Shaman's sake, it's not Lee's fault! The tag on his fore-head is controlled by Dao-Shi, thanks to that talisman. To make a long description short, these Dao-Shi can control corpses. Lee has no choice! It's that vomit-color-hair girls fault!" Anna explained.
"Sheesh! Why is everyone calling me vomit-color-hair girl?" Jun moped.
"So, she's using Lee to do her biding?" Manta asked.
"Yeah, so? Why should I give a shit? We get presents of the best ghosts! And why the heck is the Titanic music still playing? And where is it coming from?" Jun stated as she looked around.
"…. I thought you knew…" Manta replied.
"… Aw, who cares?" Jun changed topic.
"So you mean before…!!" Manta began.
"Yup, my parents gave me as a present at my birthday… It was better then my Hello Kitty doll!" Jun replied with a nod.
"Why didn't I come to the party!?" Manta asked.
"What kind of question is that!? You weren't born back then you idiot!!" Jun replied easily in shock.
"YOU KILLED HIM!? YOU'RE SO CRUEL!! WHAT ABOUT THE FANS!!!" Manta screamed so loud.
"Oh forget about the fans; and yes he's my puppet and it isn't cruel. He has no feelings; he's my puppet!" Jun replied.
"Yo mon, you are horrible at bein' dramatic!" Lee stated.
"WHHAA! WHY CAN'T I BE DRAMATIC FOR ONCE!?" Jun moped and screamed madly.
"Don't be sure! For the power of Walt Disney will rule!" Yoh said as he got up.
"Wha-" Jun replied in shock.
"OMG, your alive Yoh!" Manta replied happily.
"Ya, and I was only in shock from vertigo" Yoh explained.
"Holly shit! Impossible! Nobody survives when Lee does his final blow!" Jun said in shock and pulls her robe up again.
"HOLLY SHAMAN KING!!" Yoh says as he covers his eyes. "Dude-et, you seriously should stop pulling up your knickers; do it at some other boys!" Yoh stated as he still covers his eye.
"Aggh, these aren't knickers! This is a robe! And I'M NOT trying to show my legs! Why do you two think about that!?" Jun asks but then a camera flashes.
Jun turns to see that Lee took a picture of her leg that had the talismans.
"PERVERT!!" Jun shouted.
"I say lady, these legs are nice, and besides, I'm dead and I haven't seen a chick with those nice legs! Jolly good I must say my chap!" Lee commented and now speaks his British Accent.
"Aw, thanks… Hey! We need to get on with this!" Jun blushes.
"….. Anyway, a half-hearted attack from Bailong- Can't stop Amidamaru and me!" You stated.
"… Half-hearted?" Jun wondered.
"Yup! And the talismans only control his body but not his spirit which is strong!" Yoh replied. "Right, Lee?"
"Lee Bailong… OMG he's crying!" Manta stated.
"Thanks for stating the obvious" Anna sassed.
"Huh? Impossible! A Jiang-Si has no feelings at all!" Jun explained.
"How is this possible..? Had this kid, awakened Lee Bailong's feelings?" She thought in head.
"Um, we can hear what you are saying" Yoh stated.
"Wha, how?" Jun asked.
"Talking telepath-idly" Yoh showed on the script that randomly appeared.
Jun throw a knife at the script and the script vanished.
"Yes, but, we won't be needing that! Aggh! Impossible!" Jun changed topic.
"Gee, is impossible your favorite word?" Yoh asked.
"No, but Lee, attack and finish him off! NOW!" Jun shouted.
"Holly crap! He's coming!" Manta panicked and screamed like a girl.
"Heh! Don't worry Lee! I'll take that slip off you and you will be better then Jackie Chan!" Yoh stated.
Author's Note: That's the first chapter. The next is still to come! Hope you all enjoy my first ever double-shot!