Wondering, an inuyasha fanfic

AN:

This is a songfic based on a song played by Oasis. I know it's an older song and all, but I still like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha; all characters belong to a genius Rumiko Takahashi. I also don't own the song Wonderwall, it belongs to their respective owners, so don't sue me. ^_^;

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Wondering

-by Alena S. Anigor

Today is gonna be the day

That they're gonna throw it back to you

By now you should've somehow

Realized what you gotta do

I don't believe that anybody

Feels the way I do about you now

Kagome was sitting on the edge of the well in the old wooden house. She was staring at its depths, absentmindedly clutching the shards of Shikon no Tama in her hands. They were neatly lying in the middle of the little glass bottle, reflecting the light coming from the slightly ajar doors. She was playing with the bottle, rolling it across her palm, lost in her thoughts.

The bottom of the well revealed nothing but sand and dust, but she knew what would happen if she'd jump in it right now. In an instant, the light that carried her trough the time would appear, and in a blink of an eye, she would walk down the familiar forest path.

The only problem was...she didn't know if she should go there anymore, or stay where she was, forget about the whole thing, about the shards, about Naraku, about...Inuyasha and Kikyo.

The name ringed in her ears, and combined with the previous name, it sounded painful.

Inuyasha and Kikyo.

She closed her eyes, shaking her head, and clutching the little bottle to her chest, she banged her fist on the wooden edge, desperation surging trough her once again.

Backbeat the word was on the street

That the fire in your heart is out

I'm sure you've heard it all before

But you never really had a doubt

I don't believe that anybody feels

The way I do about you now

"Why?" A whisper came out, and she was eyeing the little bottle like it was the most precious thing in the whole world. She smiled bitterly, realizing that it was the most precious thing back there and that she was the one who was supposed to guard it, keep it safe...But she wasn't really the one who was ready, and who was meant for that task, now was she?

She turned her head to look in the well, specks of dust visible trough the tiny rays of sunshine that managed to find their ways trough the holes in the wooden walls of the little barrack.

She felt so lost, so angry and so sad, that she didn't know in the end what was she really feeling; which feeling dominated over her pained expression, and she let out a loud sigh, asking herself, the shards, anyone who could give her some kind of advice, what to do after she saw that again, the thing that managed to shatter her hopes and wrench her heart.

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding

And all the lights that lead us there are blinding

There are many things that I would

Like to say to you

But I don't know how

She almost let out a sob, but she shook her head defiantly, telling herself not to cry, telling herself that now wasn't the time, but the images of the forest path became blurry, as she remembered the way she was shocked when she saw him trying to hug her, trying to tell her something, she wished was meant for her...

They didn't notice her, and she liked it that way; if they had seen her that would only cause more trouble, more heartache for every one of them.

So she stayed in the shadows, hidden behind the tree, but enough to see what was happening in front of her. She clenched her fists, eyes widening slightly, when he kissed her with all his power, with all his feelings, and she couldn't help but stare in shock, almost letting her backpack fall from her hands, and she lowered her head in defeat. She would always be the second one, the reincarnation, the mere copy of the woman he once loved…and still loved with all his heart.

She ran away unnoticeably, leaving him whispering words of affection, insisting that he would always be there for her, no matter what.

She left the backpack at Kaede's house, placing her happy mask on, waving her friends goodbye under an excuse that she had to learn for a very hard exam.

Sango seemed to sense something in the girl's behavior, but she didn't manage to say anything, because Kagome was already sprinting trough the forest, wiping the tears from her eyes angrily, and spotting the old well, jumped in it, disappearing in the flash of the light.

And now? Now she was sorry; she was sorry that she left him, that she left them on their own, and she still had some shards with her...could she use that as an excuse to see him again? She remembered how the same situation happened once before, when she was also hiding behind the tree, and he was shouting how no one was able to protect her than him, that Naraku would never get her for himself.

"Great, Kagome," she whispered, "now what?"

She stared at the well, feeling a sudden urge to just jump in, and leave her worries behind, just to see him again. And never mind that he seemed to choose Kikyo over her...as long as she could still walk beside him, help him and be there for him...

Because maybe

You're gonna be the one who saves me

And after all

You're my wonderwall

Inuyasha was lying lazily on the green grass, his back turned to the forest, eyeing the well with keen eyes. She was supposed to come yesterday, so what happened? Did they have a fight of some sort of that she was angry with him?

He heard a rustling sound behind him, and he grabbed the end of his sword, already prepared to slash the intruder in half. He sniffed a couple of times, then relaxed. Not turning around, he snorted, greeting the young youkai huntress with his usual insolence.

"What do you want?" He asked, and Sango sighed; she should've expected this. She approached him, the ends of her kimono, swooshing trough the grass. She was standing behind him, observing the well thoughtfully, before deciding to speak her mind.

"She was here yesterday, you know." She said in a steady voice, eyeing the blue sky with an occasional cloud passing by. Inuyasha's ears perked up, and he turned around slightly to look at her. She redirected her eyes to him, looking at him with a mixture of sadness and disapproval. He raised an eyebrow.

"How come no one told me that? And why didn't she..." He trailed off, his expression turning into a thoughtful one, realization dawning on him. Sango nodded.

"Miroku sensed a presence of someone else, and I did, too. When we saw the lights following trough the forest, we knew what it was all about. Unluckily, Kagome seemed to stumble upon you two in the worst moment possible, I guess." She exclaimed, looking at the well. Inuyasha sighed, lowering his head, already feeling that same pang in his chest again.

Today was gonna be the day

But they'll never throw it back to you

By now you should've somehow

Realized what you're not to do

I don't believe that anybody feels

The way I do

About you now

He heard Sango leave, before she stopped slightly, turning around to cast one more glance at him. "Sometimes I really pity you."

With that, she left, disappearing in the forest, and he snorted. He didn't need anyone to pity him!

But then again, he was feeling pitiful at the moment...

He growled silently, something boiling inside of him, and he got up, approaching the well, staring in the depth of it, expecting her to climb out any second and smile at him.

"Yeah...she would definitely smile after what you did," he muttered, then sat at the edge of the well, crossing his legs in a lotus position, and glaring at the well like it was its fault for everything.

And all the roads that lead to you were winding

And all the lights that light the way are blinding

There are many things that I would like to say to you

But I don't know how

Inuyasha rested his chin in his palm, an almost solemn look on his face. Why was this happening to him? Why was he crucified between two women that were equally important to him as his life was? But...

He cursed inwardly, cursing the day when Naraku played a trick on them, when he made them the worst enemies, and he cursed himself for not being able to do anything right.

He smiled bitterly, still staring at the well, wishing she'd just come to him already, so he could see her again. He really did feel crucified, he really was torn between the two of them; but what could he do? He valued the both of them like he valued his eyes, and yet; he could do nothing to keep them both happy and safe.

"Kagome," he whispered solemnly, putting his chin in both hands now, leaning down a bit to see if she maybe emerged from down there. When he saw nothing but old wood and the dirty sand, he sighed.

"Where are you?" He asked the well quietly, wishing she could be here with him now.

I said maybe

You're gonna be the one who saves me

And after all

You're my wondewall

Kagome sighed for the nth time already, feeling torn between the decision to jump in and see him again, or to stay here and never come back again. It would definitely spare her the heartache, she thought.

Still, the little bottle in her hands reminded her that she couldn't leave the shards here in her world.

"I guess," she whispered silently, preparing herself to jump inside, "I guess I'll have to see you again, Inuyasha."

She climbed up, and then jumped in, the light emerging around her, lightening her features, sparks glistening around her.

I said maybe

You're gonna be the one who saves me

And after all

You're my wonderwall

Inuyasha was already ready to leave, when he heard a strange sound coming from the well, and could smell a familiar scent in the air.

"Kagome!" He breathed, swiftly turning around to meet her just when she was about to climb up. Their eyes met, holding each other in an emotional lock for a moment, before Inuyasha lowered his gaze, staring at the grass. Kagome smiled softly, climbing up and landing on the soft grass.

He raised his head again, and then lost his ability to speak, when she handed him the little bottle with two shining shards glistening on the sun.

"Here," she managed to say trough a barely suppressed choke, "these are the ones I have, take them." She finished, quickly casting her eyes downwards. Inuyasha was confused, staring at the little bottle in his hands with his brows knitted.

What was that? He looked at her, eyes widening slightly, when she turned to leave.

She was about to climb up the well, when she felt a strong arm gripping her wrist in a steady grip. She halted, already knowing what that meant.

"Kagome," he breathed, looking at the raven like hair of the girl in front of him, "are you...you can't...don't." Was all that came to his mind in the end, and she relaxed slightly. She smiled bitterly, remembering how she gave herself a task to help him, to never leave him again, and even if that meant playing a shard finder for him, she didn't mind; as long as she was by his side. But now...she wasn't sure anymore if she should stay and could she bear another sight of Inuyasha holding Kikyo like his life depended on it.

"Please, Kagome," his voice sounded hoarse and barely audible, "stay, I can't...I can't find the shards without you, you know that, and," he almost kicked himself mentally when he noticed the way her back stiffened. Of course he didn't want her to stay just because of that!

"And because everyone would miss you, and I...would miss you too, and..." he stopped babbling, and lowered his head again, at a loss of further words. Kagome took a deep breath, tears threatening to fall down, but she managed to keep them under control somehow.

It was true, non – the less what he said, there was no doubt Shippou would miss her, and Sango and Miroku, too, and she knew she'd miss them also. And deep down, she knew that she would miss him the most.

She turned around slowly, gazing at him, and he swallowed audibly, already prepared to hit the ground if she decided to say those magical words.

She sighed again, turning now completely to him, and looking intently in his eyes.

"I...I'd miss you , too...all of you..." she uttered, casting a glance towards the sky, then back at him. He was standing motionless in front of her.

She was thinking; her mind working with full speed, considering every possible decision, every thought...Until she came to one that was impossible to avoid, the thought that was inevitable... What if there was still hope?

He watched her intently now, too, observing every expression that crossed her features; silently wishing she'd stay with him.

After what seemed like an eternity to him, she finally sighed, and smiled at him. He raised his eyebrows in expectation; in hope she'd stay.

Said maybe

"All right, Inuyasha, I'll stay," she smiled at him, and he barely suppressed the urge to take her in his arms and swing her around, "I've realized I'd miss you all too much." She added, and then grabbing the bottle from his hands, he protested, before she started running down the forest path, laughter ringing trough the air, and he let out a small smile, starting to run after her, yelling at her to give him those damn shards back.

She was laughing, running as fast as she could, but knew that he's catch her soon enough. Her laugher died slightly, when she remembered that she chose the other way, the way that would probably cost her more trouble and heartache, but as long as he was with her, and as long as she had hope, she would stay.

You're gonna be the one that saves me

AN:
Well, so much for this songfic, I hope you liked it.

A.S.A