Author's Note: This is a continuing collection of War of Emperium stories that may or may have no relation to each other, much like my Suikoden fic "Secret Signs". The third, fourth, and fifth chapter will not be written by me. The fifth chapter has already been done by a dear friend, and it will not be posted until the third and the fourth have been finished. My sister, thundersenshi (also a fanfiction.net author), will be doing the fourth. If you need background info on the Ragnarok Online characters involved here, visit our website tennohoushi.port5.com.

INFATUATION: In Times of War

Mjolnir Highlands has always been my refuge, a place where I can gather all my thoughts and meditate. Here, I safely tuck away my book of profanities and just let my mind roam freely. Sound of mind and sound of body, I breathe deeply as I prepare to gather Rune Midgard's energy between closed palms.

War.

I could not concentrate. The word would not stop echoing, reverberating through the walls of my skull like an incessantly buzzing hunter fly. I give up. I sigh as I watch the sun slowly sink into the other side of the world. On some days, sunset would provide me reassurance. Today, it spoke so ominously, reminding me that in a sennight's time, the War of the Emperium would take place.

"Pai," a familiar voice calls out my real name, effectively jolting me out of my forced reverie. I do not need to turn to see who it is. I knew…who it is.

"You really know where to find me, Colbey," I say, half in relief and half in irritation that he would dare come to confuse me at such a bad time.

"I see you are worried," he replies. "Lady H is chosen to be one of the Houshi representatives and Cat's Eye has gone undercover so she could gather some intel. It is but understandable that you wouldn't be able to meditate under the circumstances. The H-Angels are your family."

I snort and face him, something that I actually didn't want to do, considering the man has always been able to get under my skin. "You certainly know your info. Been busy gossiping again, I see. You should go disturb Yozora. She has more bloody…filth that you just might find valuable."

The man had the audacity to laugh. I couldn't help but scowl. "So what brings you here?"

He comes nearer. I shiver. But it wasn't because of the cold. I have always hated it when he chips away at my personal space. My mind is askew enough as it is. His presence would only make things worse. He unnerves me in ways he would never know. Should never know.

"I am moving to Alberta," is all he says. He reaches out for one of my pigtails and softly tugs at my hair.

"At this time of war?" I ask, aghast. "You must be lusting after Catarina now, if you could think about Alberta in the midst of all this!"

He clucks his tongue, his countenance visibly amused. "Jealous?"

"Bloody fucking he--!"

"I am only doing what you require, m'dear," he interrupts me and raises both hands as if in surrender. "You want to reject me because you think I am useless. I am not. But I must admit that I love sitting around doing nothing, instead of slaving away in Byalan like my brother Rahkee. If I must sit around and do nothing, I might as well make myself useful…while sitting around and practically doing nothing."

His declaration surprises me. He makes sense, while not making sense at the same time. But that's Colbey for you, a man who swings back and forth the extreme ends of the proverbial pendulum. He raises one eyebrow, then continues, "Or is it that you want to reject me because you're afraid of getting too close? Hm?"

I turn away from him again. "Go if you must," I retort. "There is a war I must attend to. And I haven't heard from Cat's Eye. I'm concerned that she got too broken hearted over Naizen that she gave herself up to those Bastione rogues…in the guise of extracting intel."

I refuse to look back. I refuse to see his face; the disarmingly sly smile…the intensity of his gaze. I can't look back. I won't.

And I feel it. His hand reaching out but stopping midway. It has always been like this. Sometimes I know that he wants to touch me, but he restrains himself from doing so. I am not any different. Sometimes I want him but I need my self control. And then I find myself wondering, Is it really necessary? This restraint I impose upon my back?

I hear him walk away from me, his footsteps slowly receding into the background. Once again he leaves me unsettled. Yet I take comfort in the idea that I would be safe. My emotions would be intact. At least, for now.