Chapter one, the princess's story
Don't ask me my name. No really don't. It's soooooooo not important. We can go through the whole story calling me 'Muggle Hump The Weird' if you want. It's a lot, lot better than my real name. You don't need to know it. All you need to know is I'm female, tall, pretty, no, beautiful, no wait, gorgeous! That's better. Anyway, I'll stop rabbiting on and get on with the story.
Once upon a time, hang on, that doesn't sound right. I may be a princess but this is so NOT a fairy story. How about, in a land far, far away, that's better, you probably are a million miles away from Carrin, the land I'm in. Oops, sorry, you're not meant to know the name of the land yet! Just forget I told you Ok? You'll find out later. Oh god I'm totally rubbish at the whole story writing thing. Lets start again...
In a land far, far away there lived a beautiful princess, a butt kicking, prince hating, pink loving, princess. Many young princes came from far and wide, even from outside the land of Carrin (see NOW you can know the land.) to get a date with the gorgeous princess. But because the princess hated princes, she dropkicked them out the door of the castle. Cin.... phew! (Nearly told you my name there!!!! I won't make the same mistake again) the princess's parents did not like the young girls attitude so they said to her
" If you don't get your act together blah, blah, blah, then we'll blah, blah, blah and you'll be blah, blah, blah."
Then, totally out of the blue they made the poor deprived girl drive out of the kingdom in her Pink smart car with only £9005,608,465 to spend and banished her from the land saying she couldn't return until she was married to a prince! Hey! I'm not going to marry a snotty, stuck up, prince!!!!! All the decent looking ones just want to inherit my wealth and are such snobs it's unbelievable and all the soppy story ones look like pigs backsides!!!! So what do I do?????????