Pairings: Ummm… saying now would destroy the idea of suspense… Though, those who know me would know what kind of pairings I like.
Warnings: R... This fic is SLASH! We all know what that means, but just in case, that's MALE/MALE LOVE! So please, if you don't like, then don't read and save me from reading stupid comments from homophobes, thank you.
AN: Well, this ismysecond HP fic publishedand first attempt at humour… so please don't be too cruel… I'm not good at humour but this idea wouldn't leave me alone till I wrote it !
Disclaimer: After many attempts and a lot of half-dead people later I finally got the killing curse right and killed J.K Rowling, so now all of them are mine... COMPLETELY MINE, AND THE NEXT TWO BOOKS WILL BE SLASH!
A hand with a wand appears and the author drops unconscious.
Sirius: You must forgive her, please... she's under the effect of coffee, cigarettes, old fries and some coke - looking at a white and blue paper - And something called Oreos.
Snape: I must admit that the muggles got quite the potion here - looking at a can of coke -
Lupin: That's nothing; I once saw her mixing that with this -holding a can of Orange Crush, 7UP and something called Pisco-
Sirius: A lot of questions have got an answer right now...
Snape/Lupin: Definitely.
There IS something worst than facing Voldemort
By Black Komagoro
Two boys were in a huge room inside the castle of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, both without robes and dressed in a pair of jean shorts and a T-shirt, one of those said If you can read this you're WAY too close, back off! And the other said The voice in my head doesn't like you, sorry. None of them looked too happy of being there and one of them was glaring intently at the other.
"What?"
The one near the windows asked the other with a frown on his face. The other in the other side was, as his partner, kneeling on the floor and scrubbing intently; he stopped scrubbing and looked at him.
"You know?"
He said drying the sweat on his forehead with his arm.
"Now that I think of it, all of this is your fault"
The eyes of the other opened wide in disbelief and then glared at his companion.
"WHAT!"
The accusatory part smirked and crossed his arms over his chest.
"That it is your fault we're here doing... this"
That last word was said in disgust, looking down at the thing in front of him.
"My fault! You were there with me! If it's someone's fault then it's yours! You started it... I just let you continue with it"
The one near the wall stood up and dropped the scrub to the floor and stared at him with a sneer.
"See? If you had stopped then we wouldn't be here"
The one still kneeling stood up and his glare intensified. Not believing what he was hearing.
"If you hadn't started it then we wouldn't be here!"
He also dropped the scrub to the floor and half glared half pouted at the other.
"I really don't know why I put up with you sometimes"
The shorter of the two walked forward till he was standing just some inches away from the other.
"Because I'm irresistible..."
The other averted his gaze and looked at the window.
"Git"
"Prat"
The taller one rolled his eyes and shook his head kneeling once again to continue with his job. The other smirked but decided to do as his companion. They kept working in silence for some minutes till the other one started talking again.
"There's something I can't understand though"
The other didn't raise his eyes, just kept doing his job because he knew they didn't have too much time.
"What would that be?"
The boy looked at the dark mass in front of him and continued scrubbing just a little gentler.
"I understand about these two... after all it's not like they could do this by themselves... but the other two"
He said looking at the black thing, as he still called it, his companion was scrubbing.
"Think about why are we here again and you'll get your answer"
A fine clear eyebrow raised slowly and unusual eyes looked at the other. When he didn't get further explanation he sighed and thought about why they were doing that particular job. And then it hit him, or at least what he thought it was the answer.
"Should have known they wouldn't trust me... When will people understand I'm not what they think! Haven't I proved myself enough! Besides, you're here and it isn't as if you couldn't protect yourself!"
Now this outburst actually caught the other's attention and worry. He left his scrub on the floor and walked to the other side of the huge room they were in. He knelt down in front of his companion and not caring the state they both were he embraced the other.
"Hey it's not what you think... They just want us to actually work, they do know us after all"
Two of the masses approached them and looked at the sulky boy directly in the eyes. He let go of the other boy and tried to get away from the two beasts, but before he could do anything the two jumped over him and just when he was about to scream both animals licked him.
"Uh?"
The other couldn't stop the laugh that was coming.
"Come on Draco! Did you really think they would attack you!"
The blonde wasn't moving, he really respected the two in front of him.
"Would you please call them back Harry?"
Before Harry said anything the two beasts let go of him and walked back to their original places. The black one in front of Harry and the other near the window.
"See? Now, as I said we better continue or we'll never finish"
Draco looked at the Gryffindor boy and glared.
"I don't want to do this! Those things are scaring me!"
Harry raised an eyebrow and had to grab the animal in front of him by the neck.
"You better not call them things again or you'll end with a nice mark of teeth on your skin"
Draco snorted.
"You have called them that too and they hadn't done anything to you..."
"I never said things... I merely used it... Besides that's just to keep the readers intrigued"
"I don't care... if I can't call them things then I won't keep doing this... It would feel quite awkward calling them by their names"
The green eyed boy smiled.
"We don't have a choice here... I don't like to- HEY!"
Suddenly Harry felt himself being showered with water and bubbles. Draco couldn't stop laughing at the view of the boy-who-lived now transformed into the-boy-soaking-wet and with a layer of bubbles covering him not very graciously, except maybe for the blonde.
"And here I thought you had them trained"
Before he could say more he was too dripping wet and covered in bubbles.
"What were you saying?"
Harry's smirk was a very good copy of those Draco was so used to wear.
"Ha ha very funny... You know what? I don't care if they like it or not. I'm using magic to finish this"
Draco was about to point his wand towards one of the beasts when Harry stopped him.
"Are you insane!"
Draco glared at the other.
"Come on Harry! I want to finish soon!"
"Why do you think he hasn't done anything to us yet! If you use magic the other spell may fail and then we would be in trouble!"
Draco swallowed and looked at the beast near the window who was obviously about to jump over it.
"As I said before Harry, this is all your fault... You should have told them you know?"
Harry once again glared at him.
"Keep saying that and you'll wash Fluffy all by yourself"
Draco's eyes opened wide and promptly shut up. He knew Harry was capable of making himdo that.
"As you said... I don't know why I put up with you"
Harry smiled and approached him.
"Because you love me"
"Prat"
"Git"
And with that Draco kissed his lover deeply. Soon they forgot about what they should be doing and only reacted when a bark and a howl reminded them. Harry let go of Draco and looked down at the dog and wolf looking at them with eyes that said they weren't amused. Harry stuck his tongue out to them and then sighed.
"I still think that washing the both of you was a bit too much"
Draco was sure he saw the black dog shrugging his shoulders. They took the scrubs and continued with their work. Draco washing Fangs and Harry washing... ahem... Sirius. Harry finished soon with his godfather and continued with Lupin. He knew there was no way Draco would get close to the wolf and the day Sirius let a Malfoy wash him while he was a dog would be the day he died... for the second time.
"I'm finished Harry..."
Draco said while drying Hagrid's dog with a white towel. Once the dog was ready he put it the collar and secured it to a metal handle on the wall so it wouldn't move and get dirty while they continued with the others.
"I'm about to finish too... then we'll start with Fluffy"
Draco snorted.
"Who in his right mind name a beast like this Fluffy? If it had been up to me I would have named it something else... Like Demon or something"
Harry laughed.
"I know what you mean... I would have named it Cerberus"
Draco nodded.
"It would make a lot more of sense than Fluffy..."
Harry finished with Lupin and the wolf went to seat next to the black dog to watch the boys do their job. They were the ones in charge of their detention and decided it would be more interesting if they also had to wash them, yes as insane as is seems. They really didn't mind if it was only the two boys and them, and Lupin had asked Snape to help him with a potion while Sirius used a special spell so now he was in his wolf form but wouldn't try to hurt the boys.
Draco took a bigger scrub and when he looked up and the huge dog he sighed.
"I don't think this is fair..."
"I don't think so either but we don't have too many choices anyway... at least it's under strong spells and won't try to attack us"
With another sigh the two started washing the three-headed dog. After many, many hours they had finally finished washing the huge beast and discovered that the dog actually had white fur under each head's neck that reached down to its chest. Draco took a pair of clean towels and gave one to Harry.
"Draco..."
Said Harry still panting from exertion and drying his hair.
"Next time you feel like shagging in a classroom, please at least wait for me to put the silencing charm ok?"
And if you looked carefully you would see the black dog and the wolf actually laughing.
The end.
Yeah I know, not the best fic you've ever read... but as I said I had this weird idea in my mind and couldn't stop thinking of it till I wrote it down. Anyway, if you feel like throwing me something, I actually need some sugar, flour, eggs, butter and chocolate... I want to make a cake.
Oh and before I forget, Pisco is an alcoholic drink!