Why hello there! If you read my story other stories, I'd like to say welcome back! Nice to see you again, because while I'm not with you literally, you can imagine me sitting next to you, creepily staring at you ask you read this story. If this is the first time reading one of my stories, WELCOME! I hope you enjoy the strange ramblings of my mind! I thought of this story one day and thought it would be nice to take a break from seriousness in House of Aces (if you haven't read that, go! Unless you don't like it. That's okay then). So, I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail, just my imagination. I also don't own the cover photo either. I found it one day and thought it would be the best to use.

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, there was an unfortunate blonde named Lucy Heartfilia. Well, you guys already knew that, of course. Why else you you click on this story? Anyway, I say she was unfortunate because her life seemed like a constant sequence of explosions and crazy situations that her insane pyromaniac of a partner, Natsu Dragneel (and his little cat too!), seemed to love getting into. Though she loved the adventures she got to take part in and Natsu was her best friend, sometimes a girl has had enough. So, keeping this in mind, you can't really be surprised when I say that one day she finally broke.

Yup, it was a sunny, beautiful, crisp day that was one of the reasons why living in Magnolia was amazing. Lucy was strolling in the park, her spirit Plue quivering next her her as she tried to break through the intense writers block she had fallen victim to. The sun was warm on her pale skin, but it wasn't too hot thanks to the nice, gentle breeze that flowed through her golden tresses. She looked to the blue sky and sighed. It was the damn ending she was stuck on. She wanted something happy to end the relationship she had been building up, but what would she know about happy endings? The closest thing she ever came to was when Natsu only burned down half of a town, not the whole thing! How was she going to-

"WATCH OUT!" Lucy looked down just in time to watch a boy on skates slam right into her. She hit the ground with a painful THUD that make her bones shake. Another body came to a painful stop beside her. Being the first to recover, she struggled upright and poked the other guy's arm.

"Are you okay?" She asked worriedly. The poor boy was twitching on the ground. Oh god, was he dead? If he was twitching he can't be dead right? Wait, no, he's groaning. There we go. Lucy sighed in relief. She was already having a bad day, no need to be responsible for someone's death- hey, was that a Zemu Zaleon book?

"I'm...okay," he grunted, struggling to make himself upright. His glasses were askew and his black hair was messy, mixed with dirt in grass and making him look so utterly ridiculous that Lucy started to laugh. His blue eyes snapped to attention at the sound, and he realized what she was laughing at. "Are you okay?" He asked (probably to try to play it cool, but we all know that is a lie), trying to fix his appearance discretely.

"I'm fine," she smiled brightly. "More importantly, is that book okay?"

"A piece of literature is more important than a human being?" He laughed, "that's pretty mean."

"I love Kemu Zaleon," Lucy got up and reached out her hand. "So yes, a piece of literature is more important," the mysterious boy took her hand with a big smile and she hoisted him off the ground.

"I'm Zachary," he reached out his hand to shake, which she took. God, he was cute. His black eyes were shiny with a writer's gleam, like he could churn out a story at any moment, and even with his hair and clothes all askew he still looked good. To top it all off, he liked Kemu Zaleon, the freaking GOD of books. It was like her prince had finally come to take her away. A match made in heaven.

"I'm Lu-" there was a loud smashing sound, "-cy?" They both looked over to see a sleek pink streak barreling towards them. Please, no, no no no, nooooooooo, not him. Anyone but him.

"LLLLUUUUCCCCYYY!" Natsu yelled, trying to skid to a stop. His actions were wasted, because the boy still flew right into the girl, pushing her off balance so they both went tumbling across the ground. Her parents lied; grass was NOT a soft thing to land on. But, she didn't stop at the grass. No, while Natsu was able to stop himself in time before they reached the crest of a hill, Lucy was slammed with bad luck. She flew off the top and tumbled down and down and down, all the way to the small stream that winded through the park. After a minute of being submerged she broke the surface of the water, gasping for air. Wait, where'd the sun go? OH DEAR GOD SHE WAS BLIND. WHAT WAS SHE GOING TO DO?

"Lucy?" Natsu peeled off the lily pad that was stuck to her face. Oh. That would explain things.

"Natsu," she hissed. Natsu, being smarter than your average idiot, backed away from the fuming girl. She slowly stalked towards him, unhooking her whip and making it crack ominously in the air. He held up his hands in the universal please-don't-kill-me-I'm-too-young-to-die gesture, but all rational thought was out the window. These were new clothes dammit. THE MONSTER HAD TO PAY. PREFIERABLY WITH PAIN AND SUFFERING.

"L-lluc-c-y?" A small voice stuttered. Lucy froze in mid-step, weapon raised and ready to whip (he he, couldn't resist) her partner's ass. Ever so slowly she turned her head. There was her prince charming, staring at her like she was a monster that crawled forth from the pits of hell. In hindsight you can't really blame the poor lad. Lucy was drenched, her clothes sticking in the most unattractive way possible, and she had mud, grass, twigs and god only knows what the smelly brown stuff on her leg was. Add in the fact that she was threatening a guy (with a whip of all things) and we have a demon worthy of accompanying Mirajane. So, Lucy didn't even try to stop the (now mentally scarred. Whoops.) young man when he turned and hightailed it out of the park. No, instead the blonde turned on her partner with a glare that could even make Erza cry.

I would like to go back to the beginning for a second. If you recall (which you should. It was only like, what, 14 paragraphs ago?) I called Lucy unfortunate. It wasn't just the life and death situations that made her unlucky; there were plenty of opportunities where Lucy had a chance to hit it off with a guy of her dreams. A princely character that desended from what she thought was the heavens would appear, and do you know what would happen? Her chance would get ruined. Either she made a fool of herself or, most commonly, her loving partner would come barging in to do the work for her. Yes, Lucy was quite unfortunate in the love department, and there were times like this where she wondered if she was ever going to get her happy ending. Where was HER happily ever after?

"Lucy, I-" He reached out his hand and took a step towards her.

"Don't. Just...don't," she squished away. Plue (who Lucy had totally forgotten had existed. Poor Plue) tried his best to keep up with her quick stride. There were strange looks shot at her from all sides as she stalked through the town. Did Lucy care? Not at the moment. No, she was thinking about a more important matter. It wasn't until this latest rejection that she realized how much she wanted that happy ending; she wanted to write the story of her life and write "...and they lived happily ever after" at the end. It was an eternal search she had embarked on ever since she read her first fairy tale when she was a little girl, but when she grew up she just...gave up. Natsu was a freaking idiot and so were all the other guys that she met. It just hadn't made sense to try to search for it again.

Lucy couldn't give up hope. It was time that she got out of the unlucky rut of hers. A small sign caught her eye. Lucy was almost to her apartment, but there were still a couple of small shops that lined the street before the residential buildings started up. A homemade sign that was hanging on a small shack of a store looked very promising. "The Fairy Tale Writer" it read, and in smaller print it said, "Guaranteed to make your dreams come true. Especially if you are a blonde named Lucy."

Hm, guess that means her, huh?

Lucy picked up Plue and hurried into the small building. It was very dark inside and there were books and pieces of papers crammed into every nook and cranny. There was a soft whirring sound floating through the air that almost resembled a machine of some sort.

"Welcome!" A voice rang out through the dark. From the shadows stepped a girl, looking maybe a year or less younger than Lucy herself. She smiled (almost evilly) at Lucy and motioned her to sit in front of a cluttered desk. Lucy did as she was told, though she did have to move a bunch of drawings and what looked to be English homework out of the way. "I'm sorry for the mess. It's an epic battle I fight these days," the girl sighed.

"Um, okay," Lucy said warily. There was something definitely strange about this girl; her blue eyes shone with a dangerous sort of mischief. She looked sort of...insane.

"So, you've finally come," She laced her fingers under her chin. A pleased giggle escaped from her throat. Yeah, this girl was definitely crazy. Lucy gripped Plue a little tighter and started looking for the exit. It was so dark she couldn't even tell where she entered.

"You were expecting me?" She asked suspiciously. Well, the sign did mention a blonde named Lucy...

"Not important," she waved off the cautious feelings in the air, "What's more important is what you've come here for. A happy ever after, right?"

"Yeah. I want my own fairy tale ending," Lucy was ready. Whatever it took, she would do it. Unless it was illegal or embarrassing. That was Natsu's department, not hers.

"Well, let me introduce you to Artemis," The girl lovingly stroked a black box that was making the whirring sound. She touched a key and the box came to life, lighting up the dark room with an eerie white glow. She pressed another key and up popped a blank page with a blinking line that took over the screen.

"What kind of magic is this?" Lucy wondered. She had never seen anything like this black box before.

"This is a laptop. It has the power to control worlds. Very powerful, and very useful for my purposes," she patted Artemis and turned to Lucy with yet another wicked smile. "So, are you ready for that happily ever after, Lucy?"

"Who are you?" She shivered at the aura surrounding the girl; it was insanity mixed with happiness and a touch of pure mischief.

"I'm NeverMakesSense. Never, for short. Now, let's begin, shall we?" She turned the laptop towards her and started rapidly pushing keys on the bottom part of the box. Lucy started to feel light headed. Plue was frantically hopping around on Lucy's lap, making the girl take notice of her slowly disappearing body. Her hands and legs were already gone.

"Wait!" She cried out, "What do I-" She was sucked out of the world with a silent pop. Plue climbed onto the desk and looked around for his missing owner.

"Don't worry, Plue," NeverMakesSense leaned over her desk and picked him up, "this will be fun!" She gave out a little evil laugh and hopped out of her chair, dancing around her small office with glee.

"I'm excited as well," Mavis Vermillion emerged from the shadows. Never turned and gave her a high five. Their plan was working excellently. A lacrima on her desk alerted the pair to Natsu's approach. They went back to their respective positions and waited for him. It didn't take long; within minutes of the lacrima's alert Natsu had slammed the door to the small shack open, making a bunch of papers flutter through the air like lost butterflies.

"Hey, was a blonde here recently?" He asked urgently. Plue made a sound from Never's lap, catching his attention. "Plue, what are you-"

"You want to go after her?" The insane girl questioned. He nodded, more guarded than before, stepping forward in a threatening manner. If this girl hurt his friend... "Good. Go ahead," She tapped a couple of keys and the same disappearing act started again. The boy started to freak out, yelling a bunch of curses and running around her office like a madman, all of which Never ignored. Instead she watched him with an amused look on her face, and when he was gone Mavis rejoined her.

"Your plan seems to be going wonderfully," She giggled.

"Thanks to your help," Never smiled mischievously. "I can't wait for what happens next."

"Now the fun begins," Mavis and Never started to laugh together. A ding went off from one of the dark corners of the room and a delicious smell filled the room.

"You want some bacon, Mavis?"

"Oh yes!"

And that concludes chapter 1! So, good? Bad? Stupid idea? I know people do the play on the fairy tales, but this is a tad different (I hope). I would love for suggestions of which tales I should use! Leave me a review, okay?

And yes, if you guys noticed, I put myself into the story. I couldn't help it. I needed a random character that would control everything, so why not make it myself? It was supposed to be funny. I hope it is. Yeah...

SO! Until next time: Read, review, eat bacon, live life, and REVIEW. I love reviews. In fact, I always reply to them. Ask the people who review to House of Aces. Does that make me creepy?

Nah.

~NeverMakesSense