Margaret has a secret garden she goes to whenever the hardships of war get to her. Sometimes it may be found in her room, where she has as much pink and red as her heart desires. No man dares enters unannounced, and he dares not stay a minute longer than his presence is warranted. Her garden may be her room, but her room is not the garden. Her garden is with her at all times. It is mysterious and sacred, a part of her known only to her. Many people have tried to invite themselves to this part of her, to find only that this part is closed off. It is not a welcoming place even though it is warm and friendly. It is a safe place, known only to Margaret. Many have tried to intrude upon this place, but have been coldly turned away. It is her solitude from the war, from the noise around her, from the men that she deals with. Most important it is the place she runs to when she's had enough of the death and the disease that she bears witness to every week. When she's had enough and she feels like screaming, she refuses to let others see how much it hurts her to see the suffering of others. Instead she goes to her secret garden and deals with her pain in the best way that she knows how.
Tonight, that garden may not be enough to comfort her. She is trapped in an abandoned hut with a man she does not particularly care for. His incessant bantering is driving her up the wall. She tries so hard to block him out and escape but she can't. Tonight more than anything she needs to find her secret garden, for she's discovered an awful, terrible secret about her husband. He's cheating on her. Have you ever been cheated on? She wants to ask that of Hawkeye Pierce but somehow she doesn't think that he would have been. And that's not the type of question she would allow herself to ask a man she barely knows anyhow. But it's at the front of her mind. Maybe if she gets drunk enough…. She just needs to know that she's not the only one, just for tonight. Because she would do anything to escape her own pain.
All she wants to do is get into her garden and re-read Donald's letters. It's hard to do that with Hawkeye Pierce flapping his lips. So it may be time to invite him in. Taking a deep breath, she decided to read the letters out loud. He was shocked, and surprisingly sympathetic and kind. It felt good for her to let someone in, ever so slightly. She had no idea that he could be so compassionate with her, that he could be so serious. She kind of liked it. So they drank and talked some more. Letting someone in wasn't as bad as she thought that it might be, given the right person. Somehow , throughout the conversation, Margaret began to think that she might be able to trust Hawkeye Pierce. He was not acting inappropriately. He was sincere. Most importantly, he was there, and God knows she needed someone at that very moment.
Soon it was bedtime, and it was time to lie down. One place he was not invited was to be with her. She'd made that perfectly clear. Eventually it began to storm, and she was scared. She invited him into her garden where she could be protected. And protect her he did. Their lips met, and their bodies joined, and the two became one. And in the morning she felt no shame or regrets.
She felt no remorse, but he did. He went back to making silly jokes, and he backed out of her secret garden. She was confused and hurt and angry. The first person she'd allowed in no longer wanted to be there. So she pushed him away too. She resorted back to typical Margaret behavior, and in no time the two resorted to hurtful behavior. There were name calling and yelling and all sorts of unpleasant behavior. All because she'd let him in, and he was no longer comfortable there.
But she would be all right. She still had her secret garden. A place where she could go to regroup. A place where she could gather her thoughts and heal her feelings,, even those concerning Hawkeye Pierce and he would never know. Those thoughts concerning him would never hit the O.R. She would work on her marriage in the best way she knew how, and she would be all right. And she wouldn't need any man to tell her that she would be all right. There was a place she could go where she could see for herself these things. And she could go there anytime she liked..