Chapter 1 - Watching The Detectives

"Nice girls, not one with a defect

Cellophane shrink-wrapped, so correct

Red dogs under illegal legs

She looks so good that he gets down and begs"

E. Costello

"So, the house next door finally sold huh?" Alice asked me. "Did you get a look at the buyers yet?"

"Not yet, though the gossip has it he's single." I replied

"Ooooo a single guy huh? I wonder what he looks like? You know, he's probably gay. I mean what single, straight guy wants to live in your neighborhood." Alice snickered.

"My neighborhood happens to be very desirable, thank you very much! Who doesn't want to live in a brand new mansion? Sure they tore down the old ones and built almost exact replicas, but that's not the point. Oooo I just thought, let's hope he is gay. I need a new friend and I would love to watch the neighborhood hussies throw themselves at him before they figure it out."

We laughed together, talked a bit more then said our goodbyes. I took one last peep out of the window at the house next door before pulling the curtains closed. Alice always made me laugh, she had been my comic relief since high school. Really we were each others relief and we caused quite a commotion when we were together. Alice Whitlock was my best friend in the whole world and we had known each other since I moved to Forks my Freshman year. She and I had shared so much that we had an almost psychic connection with each other. Some days I swear I could just think about her and she would call me or show up.

I'm Bella Swan-Black, Seattle housewife, extraordinaire. Though lately I was feeling less than extra and more like dull, ordinary, boring & miserable. That's a lot of adjectives for one person.

I flopped down on my sofa with a heavy sigh. Reaching for the remote I tuned in to my favorite soap opera. I had very few guilty pleasures and watching the goings on in 'Willowdale' was one of them. I liked to get lost in the lives of fictional characters and the TV provided me hours of them. I know, I could as easily read a book but I didn't have the focus. And more times than not, I was usually zoned out wondering what my husband was doing and why he preferred spending time away from home.

"Today in Willowdale Hamilton Jennings moves to town. He's tall, dark and handsome. He's been seen around town charming all the women, a mob is forming on his doorstep demanding to know who this mysterious, seductive stranger is..."

Speaking of mysterious strangers, 30 days later and the house next door was still vacant. I laughed as my soap opera mocked me. I was now tasked with telling Alice exactly why a straight, single man would buy a home in my neighborhood.

"Investment property." I said to Alice.

"How do you know?"

"It's been over a month since the house sold. The sign has been removed and no one has moved in."

"Well maybe he's just in Rome closing a business deal and hasn't made it home yet to move in."

I rolled my eyes. Alice was such a hopeless romantic. She romanticized everything. "Yeah that's it. He's been in Rome opening a new branch of his billionaire empire." I laughed.

"Looks like someone's been spending too much time in Willowdale." Alice said to me.

That was laughable, for every hour I spent watching a soap opera she spent three. She nudged me with her elbow and we both laughed.

"Why are we even talking about this anyways?" I asked.

"Because your head of the Welcoming Committee."

"Oh, yeah, that's right," I smiled. "Welcoming Committee, code for Nosy Bitch."

"You got the bitch part right."

"Alice Whitlock!" I threw a piece of the muffin I'd been eating at her. "Well, you know, it takes one to know one."

Our laughter filled the room. God, how I loved Alice and all the time we spent together. It kept me distracted from my own sad affairs. After an hour or more of conversation and lots of coffee Alice announced she needed to "get goin'".

"I'm sorry sweetie, but I gotta go get some chores done. You know Jasper would keel over if his boxers weren't ironed."

"Ewww, you iron his boxers! Alice, he's a freak." I sighed heavily.

"What's with the sigh. I know that sigh. I knew you were holding out on me." She accused.

"Sure wish Jake was here so I could iron his boxers." I mused.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry. That was thoughtless of me." She said pulling me into a hug so tight bears were jealous.

"It's okay really. But I may cry if you keep hugging me and I promised myself no more tears." I said to her. I could hold my emotions inside when I was upset unless someone was taking pity on me. The moment their sympathy hit me I just couldn't hold it in. I hated hysterics and so generally avoided contact at times like these. Alone I was a different story.

Alice let go of me. She hated my stiff upper lip as much as she hated Jacob Black at this moment. Not that I could blame her really. It's not like he was around much these days. It wasn't always like that though. Alice used to love Jacob and Jacob used to love me.

Jake and I were soooo hot for each other. And now the fire was dying at a slow torturous pace. I thought back to the first time I saw him; he was riding a motorcycle onto the school parking lot my Sophomore year. He was so cool with his leather jacket and long black hair flowing around him. I knew at that exact moment it wouldn't take long before I had something big and vibrating between my legs.

My reverie was broken by Alice snapping her tiny fingers in my face. I blinked a few times... "And she's back!"

"Sorry Alice." I said. She stared at me, waiting for me to reply. When she could see I wasn't going to, she spoke:

"So, I was asking you when you last heard from him..." her contempt barely hidden.

"About a week. You know he's busy though. It's not like he's ignoring me on purpose. A lot of people need his help during the day. The reservation has always taken precedence in his life, as it should. I'm sure he's just so worn out at the end of the day." I lied to myself! I was furious and hurt he hadn't called me everyday like he once did. "Stiff upper lip." I repeated in my head.

"Yeah, I'm sure! What about business at home? Quit being a dutiful housewife. This lawyers without borders shit is killing your marriage!" She growled at me.

"That's doctors without borders."

"Whatever! What can he possible be doing in La Push that he can't also do here in Seattle. Hell, even working super late hours and coming home late would be better than not at all."

She didn't mean to yell. She truly never got upset like this. It took a lot to get her mad. And I knew she was mad, not just at me and the problem with my husband, but she was also mad for me. I knew she thought I wasn't mad enough at Jacob. And she was right, and that's the part that stung. I should be mad at Jake, but I was just stuck making excuses for him.

"Some of his business is just easier in person." I defended him.

Alice was frustrated, I could tell by the way her jaw flexed and by the flare of her eyes.

"I'm sorry Bella. I know you're the one dealing with it, but I just hate to see you suffering in silence. I shouldn't have said anything." She apologized. I hated it when she apologized for being honest.

"No, it's okay. I've got to deal with my loser marriage sooner or later. I'm just glad I have you to count on and Jasper too of course." I gave a half-hearted chuckle. Stiff Upper Lip!

Jasper was the closest thing to a brother I had, and I loved him as much as Alice. Mostly I loved him because he indulged Alice and me. Alice and Jasper were also high school sweethearts, and they were still crazy in love with each other. They moved as a single unit, but were still able to maintain a healthy distance from each other. They were what I would call a perfect marriage. I stifled a little groan thinking about perfect marriages and the Whitlock's wedded bliss.

I smiled at Alice signaling the end of our conversation about my marriage. "Now get outta here, Jasper's boxers aren't going to iron themselves."

"Don't you dare tell him I said that!" She said as I laughed at her.

I walked her out to her car parked in my front drive. Oh sweet Alice, her car made me a little envious. She was the only person I knew that could pull off a bright yellow Porsche. She looked like a child behind the wheel as petite as she was. It was a testament to her size that the car was roomy on the inside. She drove like a maniac everywhere and could charm her way out of any ticket. Lucky Bitch!

As we were saying goodbye for like the twentieth time, a black Range Rover pulled up into the drive of the house next door. We both sort of looked at each other like it was Christmas and we were about to unwrap the most splendid gift. Alice nearly broke her neck trying to twist around in her car to see. I was trying to peek over the top of the car without being too obvious.

"Oh, there is no fucking way in hell I am leaving now! I want to get a look at the neighbor." Alice said to me.

"Ssshhhhhhh..."

"Oh please, they can't hear us." She laughed.

We watched as the doors on the passenger side opened up. The driver was fiddling around in the driver seat so it was hard to gauge what he looked like. The first person we saw get out was the guy in the passenger seat. He was a tall mass of muscles with short brown hair. He looked like he worked out a lot as his shoulders were as wide as the grill of the car. He looked like he could be vicious and might be handy to have on your side in a fight.

"Bodyguard!" Alice and I said in unison as we looked on.

The "bodyguard" wore a nice suit, perhaps Brooks Brothers. He definitely looked uncomfortable in his suit. And the shoes were way to shiny to not be new.

"He looks like a Brut man." We laughed.

"That's one well paid bodyguard." I said.

"No doubt, get a load of that suit."

The girl that was in the car got out with the "bodyguard". She had been hidden behind him and when he moved we finally got a look at her.

"Whose the tramp?" Alice asked.

No longer able to contain my laughter, I giggled out loud.

She was in fact a leggy, gorgeous blonde. She was classic, like someone had plucked from the 1930's silver screen. Big round eyes, square face, high cheekbones and full lips. I hated her already.

"I think that's my yoga instructor,`" I said, "she can crush cans with her boobs."

Alice and I were nearing hysterics laughing and poking fun at the visitors next door when the driver finally got out of the car. Alice let out a low whistle & I snapped straight up from where I'd been crouching. A sudden breeze blew through and somewhere a Theme from A Summer Place played. Just kidding, but if we'd been in some John Hughes flick he would have been in slow motion so that we could appreciate all that mother nature was capable of producing. As if we weren't already doing that.

"Who the hell is that? Please tell me that's not the new neighbor. Please tell me that's the realtor and your gossip was wrong." Alice finally spoke up. I shushed her again.

He stepped around the front of the car with a little hop, buttoning his jacket and sliding his cell phone in his pocket. He made a quick little hop over the curb. It reminded of when skaters would pop their boards up and over a curb. He was twirling a set of keys in his long, nimble fingers, a fact that I could not have ignored if I wanted to, as I was already partial to a man's hands. One of their sexiest features if you ask me. Tall and slim, especially when compared to the other guy, but you could see that he was muscular and athletic. He was so gorgeous even the sun peaked through the clouds to glisten off the top of his head. When it did I could see that it was light brown with natural highlights that made it look slightly auburn. It was scruffy and damn me for saying it, it was hot!

I was vaguely aware of Alice trying to catch my attention as I cocked my head sideways to take in the most delicious jaw line I'd ever seen.

"Ummm hello, Bella you're drooling on my very expensive leather." she popped off at me.

I looked at her. "Oh, Alice you're still here?"

She was annoyed now, "Honestly you're married!"

"Yeah but I'm not dead." I replied to her.

She laughed at me,. "Amen sister" was her reply. "Seriously Bells, I gotta motor." She started her car and backed out of my driveway. As was customary I walked to the end of the drive. She pulled into the street, dropped it in first gear and screamed "Bye Bella" as she laid some fresh rubber down on her way off. A few toots of the horn and a hand out the window to wave, I was beyond embarrassed. I palmed my face as I turned to walk in. "Don't look over there." I kept telling myself. But I was ignoring my brain today and looked anyway. All 3 of them were staring at me. I knew I was 3 shades of red. I gave a small shrug and waved. All but the driver of the Range Rover was staring at me with their mouths hanging open. The driver? He was standing there with his hand on his hips with the cutest damn smirk on his face!

EPOV

It had been a month since I closed on my new house in Seattle. Unfortunately my business trip had taken me much longer than I expected. But that was okay, I got to spend a month in Rome surrounded by Italian beauties. Plus I never took a vacation and I had been working my ass off lately. Lately, that was laughable. I couldn't recall a time that I wasn't working hard. I'd taken over my mother's small marketing firm the year I graduated from college. She'd suddenly decided to retire early. In just a hair under 3 years I'd turned it into a national company with its newest office opening in Rome 2 weeks ago. I'd also had the good fortune to make some lucrative personal investments and now was contemplating early retirement at the tender age of 28. Dr. & Mrs. Cullen, my parents, had been begging me to buy a house and live like a real boy. Rose, my sister, had found this little gem one weekend and convinced me it was the perfect place for me. So I bought it while in Rome, sight unseen. I had just been home for a few days when Rose told me, no, ordered me to move in.

Today she and my brother-in-law, Emmett, were here to check it out and help with the movers. On the ride over he kept baiting me and making comments about testing the "structural integrity" of the house. Okay I'll bite...

"You two are not allowed to have sex at my house EVER!" I told him.

"Awww come on Eddie, we can break it in right." he chuckled punching me in the arm. I could hear Rose snorting with laughter in the back seat. Clearly she was remembering the time when I'd caught the two lovebirds sullying my last apartment.

"2 hours!!! I wasn't even in the apartment for 2 hours!" I reminded them.

They roared with laughter. They couldn't help it, they were practically sex addicts. Still it was kind of funny after the initial shock and disgust had worn off. Especially if you had seen how I found them. Now we were all laughing our asses off as we pulled up in front of my new home.

We sat in the car looking at the house! Rose was right, I loved it. The front drive I could do with out but other than that only I could have done a better job. The home was a new construct, meant to look like the old one that was torn down to make room for it. It was modeled after the 1930's Neo-Classic Revival home it was replacing. The balconies, windows and solarium were the first things I noticed. The yard was perfectly sculpted as well. I was eager to get inside.

"Oooo hotties in the driveway." Emmett bellowed. Rose smacked him, I laughed!

"God Emmett, sometimes you're such a construction worker!" Rose yelled at him.

"Sorry Babe, sometimes I forget I own the company now instead of working for it." He apologized

That's when I looked up and saw her! She with her soft waves of brown hair flowing down her back. I could see her laughing and chatting with a friend. The look on her face when she laughed made me want in on it so that I would have an excuse to stand there and look at her laugh. It was so carefree and from her heart and she was radiant.

"Yo, you gonna sit there all day?" Emmett asked in his usual gruff tone.

I was actually a little nervous getting out of the car, suddenly aware of my appearance. I jumped out, straightening myself and trying to play it cool. I put my game face on and strode around the front of the car. I heard a soft whistle from the direction of the driveway and from the corner of my eye I could see her. And she was standing there, staring at me. Since I knew she was watching I pretended to ollie over the curb, a little trick I picked up from years of skateboarding. Thankfully I was still graceful enough to pull it off without worry.

I was standing on the sidewalk talking with Rose and Emmett when I heard a low rumble that let me know that beautiful Porsche had just sprung to life. I turned to watch it back out of the driveway and the honey who followed it down the edge of the drive.

I was just turning back to my company, when I heard the transmission slam into gear and the squeal of the rear tires. The entire neighborhood rang with its sound. It looked like her friend did it deliberately to embarrass the girl. And she had succeeded, much to my delight. I couldn't help but stare as she turned and waved as if it were the most normal thing ever. I must have looked like a goofy bastard to her as I stood there looking beguiled.

Rose scoffed. "Ugh, you haven't even been here 5 minutes and the ladies are already showing off!"

"Do you ever get tired of chicks throwing themselves at you?" Emmett asked.

"Never, my brother, never! And neither does Eddie Jr." I laughed out loud as Emmett threw his arm around my shoulder laughing with me as we walked into the house.

"You're both pigs!" Rose said as she smacked the backs of our heads.

"Welcome to the neighborhood." I though to myself with a smile.

A/N: Okay gang, this is my first attempt at any type of fanfic. Reviews are greatly appreciated and welcomed! Just take it easy on the first-timer! (At least for now.) I wanted to also make sure you all knew that my comments regarding being gay, were not meant to bash anyone. I have many gay friends and was just bringing a few touches from my life into the story. I am rating this M for language and there will be future lemons. I hope at least one person out there enjoys my little story. =)

Oh I don't own any of the Twilight characters, etc it all belong to talented Stephenie Meyer. I also don't own the song Watching The Detectives, all that brilliance goes to the wonderful Elvis Costello and the Attractions.