Wicked (AU)

Misa lost her virginity when she was fifteen. She fell enamored with a boy in high school and after months of holding hands and kissing, it lead up to a level she only remembered in movies she watched on the couch, eating a bowl of popcorn and wishing it was her. Except it never played out like the movies. The sex in the movies lasted for hours whereas in real life it was done in a mere fifteen minutes. After nearly a year of believing this was love, her boyfriend decided to cut it off, claiming that they were better off as friends for a little while. The next day she saw a cute girl clung to his arm.

She thought she had learned from this experience but apparently not. She fell too fast in love without getting to know the person. Her boyfriend in her senior year seemed like such a sweet heart, much better than her first love. Yet, fate seemed to be disinclined to this. He was arrested on drug possession and dealing; it just goes to show she barely knew him. At least this time she was able to do the dumping.

She met someone in her sophomore year of college. A very pretty boy with high intelligence and a police family background. He was pure perfection, and Misa found herself once again head over heels. The feelings of butterflies in her stomach and the dopey smile she wore all day because he was on her mind. Light Yagami. She knew it was much too early to envision their future together: moving into a small apartment, cooking meals for him while he goes off to work, getting married, buying a bigger house having kids, et cetera. The only problem was there was no way to reach him. His looks and brains caught other female eyes and his body seemed to release pheromones to every girl passing his way. His mail locker and door were filled with chocolates and love notes. Misa knew hers would never get read. He never noticed her.

"Ryuuzaki!" she whined, falling on her stomach on the couch of the manor house. The couch was nicely deep and not too hard and looked very expensive. Everything in the manor looked expensive, though, except for Ryuuzaki himself who wore bargained jeans and plain white tees.

Ryuuzaki was typing away on his laptop computer at an impressive speed. "What is the matter, Misa-san?"

"I've tried everything and he won't even glance at me." She peered through her bangs to the table he was set up at. "Apparently no one will regard me."

Obsidian eyes glanced over at her. Lights from the computer shone in his pupils, giving him a haunted look. Why he liked to work in the dark was strange; he always looked like a ghostly corpse. "I apologize, Misa-san, but I must work on this."

Misa sat up. "What is it you're working on anyway? Every time I come over you're typing away. Are you a novelist?" She couldn't remember any novels or books with his name. Did he have a pen name?

"No, I am not a novelist," he stated, still typing.

She sighed. It just proved how little she knew her friend and how little he was willing to let known. "You're so mysterious. Are you a mob boss then?"

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Do I look like a gangster?"

"Not really, but how else do you pay for all this?"

"Inheritance."

"Really?"

"No."

She pouted and fell on her back on the sofa with her feet propped up on the arm rest. Fine, if he didn't want to tell her, that was fine by her. Ryuuzaki paused in his typing briefly. "Misa-san," he said, "Wasn't there something you needed?"

"Right!" She sat up again, dropping her fist into her hand. "Ryuuzaki, how do you get a boy to notice you?"

He looked at her. It wasn't until after she said it that she knew it was a stupid thing to say. She had never seen Ryuuzaki with anyone before except for his butler Watari, who seemed to be borderline caretaker than anything. "Forget what I said." Taking a breath, she leaned her head against the backrest. "It just sucks, you know. I love him so much..."

"How can you claim that you love him when you do not know him? You've said the same thing about the previous boyfriend's you've had. Claiming love and then knocking on my door, crying and despising men."

Ryuuzaki was her fall back guy. Misa did not have any girlfriends to talk to and Ryuuzaki always listened, or at least pretended to so it was close enough. "This time it's different. It almost feel like we were fated to be. And if he would just notice me, I would get to know him."

"Then why don't you approach him instead?"

"It doesn't work like that. It's more romantic for the guy to ask the girl out."

"Right." Because he was getting very little work done with Misa's presence, he shut his laptop and moved it to the side. Misa watched him rise from his sitting position and walk into the kitchen area. She heard a blender and he came back with two glasses of mint chocolate chip cookie dough milkshakes, her favorite dessert. She reached out and happily took it. It was thick and full of mint flavor.

"Mmm!" she exclaimed, "You know just how I like it."

"Yes, I know."

The routine continued where Misa would attempt to get Light Yagami's attention but her plans were always thwarted when he was battered by other girls. Everyday after school she would walk to Ryuuzaki's manor and pour out her frustration on him and the smoothies, cakes, and desserts he supplied her with; if Light Yagami did not notice her soon, she was going to get fat.

Then there was the odd moment where she fell asleep at the university's library and was shaken awake. "Huh? Wha~?"

"Excuse me."

Her eyes widened to circles and she became very aware of the red blotch on her forehead where it had dropped on the book in front of her. Staring at her was Light Yagami, alone. His smile was more beautiful up close.

"You're Misa Amane, correct?" His eyes were like crystallized embers, a color she never saw before.

Act cool, she told herself. "Guh..."

"You left this in Professor Heisen's class. I saw the name and figured it was yours."

She took the textbook he handed her, her sociology book that she barely paid attention to until now. "Y-Yes. Yes it's mine."

"There's a test in there next week. You should keep better track of your books to study."

"I-I will!"

He smiled brightly, stunningly and walked away. She was rising on cloud nine.

"He noticed me!" she shrilled when Ryuuzaki opened the front door. "He even knew my name without me telling him!"

"I think all of Kanto has noticed you," he stated, moving aside to allow her entrance. She told him the entire story, adding a dreamy tone and spilling her dreams of their future together. He seemed amused. "You want to be a housewife?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. Other than the fact that you can't cook and you hate cleaning."

"I'll learn."

Several weeks went by of the same thing. She dropped out of college in her senior year when she signed onto a modeling agency. She started small, working in magazines but then made her way up to designers and cat walks. She was estatic when she was chosen to wear the outfits of Christian Dior in front of hundreds of fashion designers and critics and millions watching on television. She could see the great set of Milan in the distance, in her near future, and she was so happy.

And terrified at the same time. Her anxiety got the better of her and she locked herself away in her dressing room.

"Amane-san!" one of the backstage assistants was pounding on the door. "The show is in two hours!"

"I'm not going!" she yelled.

She heard muttering and frustrated sounds coming from behind the door. She knew she was ruining everything but the bright lights and slick stage and all those eyes frightened her.

"Misa," she heard from the other side of the locked door.

She lifted her head from the vanity table and stared at it. "Ryuuzaki?"

"Yes," he answered, "Is everything okay?"

She walked over to the door. "I'm scared, Ryuuzaki. I don't think I can do this."

"Misa," he said, "You've been waiting to do this for a long time. Are you willing to give it up now?"

She sniffed and leaned against the wood. "N-No, but..."

"We both know that you'll regret not doing this."

He was right. He was always right. Misa turned the doorknob and opened it ajar. She saw Ryuuzaki, staring at her and wearing his usual plain clothes. He stuck out like a sore thumb. She laughed. "Couldn't you have dressed up?"

"Then I would be uncomfortable and would be too distracted to watch Misa's performance." She laughed again. It was a very Ryuuzaki thing to say. He took one hand from behind his back and produced a bouquet of blue Irises. "These are for you."

Misa took the flowers and cradled them. "They're beautiful. Irises, my favorite."

"I know."

She continued on with the show and despite her anxiety and nerves, it was a success. She changed into her normal street clothes and was about to leave when someone stepped in front of her.

"Oh!" she called out when she looked up at Light Yagami. Instantly her heart swelled.

He smiled down at her, teeth shining like stars. "I enjoyed the show. You were great."

"Hehe," she laughed nervously, "Thanks. Um..."

"I got these for you." He held out a large bouquet of roses and held them out for her.

She stared in awe. "Oh, Light, you shouldn't have!" She covered her face in the roses when she realized she did not add the respective san or kun.

He laughed, a laugh girls dreamt about. "I wanted to. Say, would you like to go out to dinner with me someday?"

She looked up at him, wondering if he really said what she thought he said or if she fell asleep again. She pinched her thumb on a thorn and received her answer. "Yes!"

They exchanged numbers and she nearly ran over to Ryuuzaki's. It was very late and as she knocked on the door, she wondered if he was asleep. But Watari answered and in the living room he sat, half eaten crete on the table. She rushed over to him and wrapped her arms around him. He stiffened awkwardly but she didn't care.

"He asked me out!" she said excitedly.

"Good for you."

"I'm so happy!"

"I am well aware."

"See, Ryuuzaki?" she said as she parted from him, "He did approach me. I just had to be patient. I knew Light liked me."

He turned his head toward her, looking up from his squatting position. "Light?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yeah, Light Yagami. The boy I've been telling you about. Well, I've got to go. I'll see you sometime later." She left with a skip in her step and a hum in her throat.

Ryuuzaki rose from his seat and watched her go through the window. He was aware Watari was watching him but he said nothing. He knew Watari would say something, he always did.

And he was right.

"This has been some turn of event," he said.

"Yes," Ryuuzaki answered, "It has."

"You must remember that your position is your number one priority."

"I am well aware of that."

"Ryuuzaki, I do not mean to sound like a nagging parent, but I warned you about getting too close to that girl."

"I know."

There was a silence between them. Ryuuzaki always respected Watari's input and opinion but today he did not feel like hearing it; yet he knew the old man was not done.

"Too much is at stake right now," the old man continued to stay, "I'm only saying this because I'm worried you're veering on the wrong path. You must understand-"

"Watari," he interrupted, "I am well aware of my position and I understand the precautions that must be made. L must come before Ryuuzaki."

Misa's date with Light was spectacular. He was the perfect boyfriend and seemed to create things on her every desire. Everything was perfect. It was like living in a movie everyday. She spent more and more time with Light and less with Ryuuzaki. It was almost too perfect. She waited for him to drop her like the others, but he never did. Less women began surrounding him when their courtship had been announced. She still received glares and was often tripped by jealous girls, but Misa did not care. She had snagged Mr. Right.

Months turned into years. He graduated college early and with honors and entered into an apprenticeship with his father's police academy. A long string of murders was keeping him away all hours. She began noticing that things were becoming a little more strange each day. One was a phone call she received from Ryuuzaki. He never called before nor did she think he knew the number to the apartment she and Light shared. Most peculiar though was though he asked of her well being, he seemed more interested in Light. She answered his questions as best she could, feeling strangely interrogated.

"Ryuuzaki, why are you asking all these questions anyway?"

For a moment he did not speak. This made her cling the phone in worry because it was very un-Ryuuzaki.

"Just be careful," he said and hung up.

Misa tried redialing his number but it seemed to be disconnected. Wanting answers, she waited for her boyfriend to give them to her. She waited and waited and waited. She called his cell phone and his office phone. He didn't answer his phone and no one seemed to want to give her any information. Whatever was going on, she knew Light could not be at fault. Three days passed and still nothing. She even called his parents knowing that his father the chief of police would know what was happening. But when she talked to him, all she got was he didn't want to talk about it. Demanding to know what was going on, she marched over to Ryuuzaki's and pounded on the door. No one answered. She knocked more loudly but no one came to answer. Frustrated beyond reason, she peered inside. The usual furnished living room was completely devoid of its contents. The carpet looked bare and matted where furniture once stood. It had been cleaned out from top to bottom, leaving no sign of Ryuuzaki behind.

She backed away from the window as if she had seen something horrid. Her life seemed to be curving into an episode of the Twilight Zone. Why would her only friend, Ryuuzaki, leave her stranded without any word? What happened to her boyfriend? And why was everyone acting so strange and refused to answer her questions? Though she knew it would do nothing, she slammed her fist on the door over and over until it bruised. She cried frustrated and confused tears. Her cell phone rang in her purse and she fished for it before it went to her voicemail. She didn't recognize the number but answered anyway.

"Hello?" she choked out.

"Misa." She gripped the phone tightly to her ear.

"Ryuuzaki, what..."

"I need you to meet me somewhere."

"Okay, let me get a pen--"

"No. You can't write this down. Just remember the directions I'm giving you. And make sure to come alone."

She was baffled and confused but he seemed in a hurry. "...Okay."

Misa tried her best to remember where to go and was led to a high class hotel. Nervously, she made her way up to the floor where he told her to meet him. She remembered the number he said and knocked on the door, realizing her hands were shaking. Watari answered and nodded her inside. The room was a cream and red color and smelled of shampoo. There sat Ryuuzaki in a plush chair with a table filled with desserts and folders. She walked over to him and he waved a hand at a vacant seat.

"Misa, have a seat please."

She sat down timidly. "What's going on?"

"I need to explain some things to you," he began, "First off, my name is not actually Ryuuzaki. That is an alias I acquired when I moved to Tokyo six years ago. I go by another alias by the name of L, and under that alias I am an international criminal profiler and investigator for the international police and the government of many different countries; Japan being one of them."

Misa blinked and seemed to take in shallow breaths. Her first instinct was to believe he was joking but she never knew him as the joking type. Though bizarrely science fictional, she believed him. "Then...what is your real name?"

"I cannot give out that information."

So the Ryuuzaki she knew was a lie then. "Why are you telling me this now? Are you apart of some secret organization where now you have to kill me because I know too much."

"I catch killers, and I do not intend to become one." Before her sat Ryuuzaki just the way she remembered him but now he was someone else. A stranger wearing the same skin as her friend.

She was aware her eyes were watering but she her head, full of cotton, seemed to be sucking up all the moisture. "Do you..." She choked and swallowed before speaking again. "Do you know what happened to Light?"

He picked up a strawberry slice from a piece of cake and ate it. "That is where I am getting at. When I moved here, I did not intend to stay for very long. Especially not six years. I have never lived anywhere that long before. I worked from home on any case that needed my input, but several months ago, the murders of criminals began appearing. I was requested to create a profile for the serial killer." Though she understood every word he was saying, she still also heard a buzzing noise when he spoke, like a background noise on an old television. "The profile I came up with was someone in their early twenties who knew of police protocol and had access to all criminal records, therefore, someone on the inside. The time of killings was significant to a schedule." He rested his hands on his knees and looked at her. "It matched the schedule of a rookie apprentice officer."

Her lip trembled because she already knew what he was going to say. She didn't want him to though, oh god, she didn't want him to.

But he was going to anyway. "DNA was recovered at one of the scenes from a foreign blood stain. Light Yagami was brought in for questioning, and he confessed, Misa. He's been arrested and charged with murder."

Something sharp must have rammed into her chest because that's what it felt like. She was crying again but this time there was no sound. She just continued to look at this stranger who she thought was her friend. Misa stood up without speaking and put her hands on the table. Ryuuzaki did not move. Her arms were shaking.

"I'm not going to see you ever again, am I?" she asked.

"Most likely no."

She nodded and looked down at him. His appearance appeared blurry because of her tears. "I hate you," she whispered, "I hate you so much, Ryuuzaki. Or whoever the hell you are."

"I know."

She laughed without humor. "Of course you do. You know everything."

She left with her heart heavy and full of hate and anger; hate at Ryuuzaki, hate at Light, and hate toward herself. She hated the people she passed, especially the couples holding hands. She hated everyone. She wanted to hate everyone. She realized then love only led to hate.

Ten years later, Misa was a model recruiter for a teen magazine. She lived independently and alone, depending on no one except for herself. She was described by stern and strict by her peers but produced beautiful women. She also never picked up another man, feeling it was better to become indifferent than fall in love too quickly.

"Amane-san," said her assistant when she entered into the large dressing room where Misa was busying herself with matching outfits to models. "This came for you." Her assistant held out a vase with blue irises. Misa walked over and picked them up.

"Was there a card?"

"Not that I saw. Must be an admirer."

She leaned her face into the petals and sniffed. The flowers had been sprayed with perfume for scent, a scent not very common with flowers: mint. The mint flavor and iris aroma was nice. She allowed a small smile to be seen as she gently touched one of the petals.

"Are you okay, Amane-san?" asked her assistant, "You have a nostalgic look."

She shook her head. "I'm just remembering an old friend."

(A/N): Indeed, the title really has nothing to do with the story. Also on my deviantART account.