The Unforgiven
* Chapter 1 *
In My Place
In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah
Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters, so please don't sue me. This is going to be a long fic, hopefully interesting to read concerning the tangled life of Abby and her relationships with Luka, Carter and a host of others. It's very angsty and goes into in a lot of depth to the main charcters lifes, problems, choices etc. Spoilers for season 8 and 9. Takes place at the scene in Brothers And Sisters where Abby is awoke in her apartment. Enjoy, feedback very much welcome!!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The loud crash from the apartment directly above awoke Abby Lockhart with a startle. Jumping up quickly, the nurse sat perfectly still in her bed for countless minutes. The only sound that could be heard in the still darkness of the bedroom was her heavy, frantic breathing. She ran a hand through her tangled hair and threw her legs over the side of the bed in one, quick motion. Grabbing her cosy, grey sweater and pulling it over her head, she walked barefoot across the sitting room towards the apartment door. The many gold locks glistened in the darkness as the familiar sense of nausea passed over her whilst running a hand across them.
I'm safe, she told herself before slumping down to the ground, her back pressed against the door. He's gone, Brian's not here anymore. He can't possibly hurt me now.
Abby stifled a laugh at the mess which had become her life. Every night she lay awake in the fear. Fear of Brian returning, fear of her mother forgetting to take her medication, fear of losing the will to live. She had long stopped pretending that she had a firm grasp on her life. Abby Lockhart in control? Yeh right, good one. Perhaps that was one of the reasons she began drinking again, to finally have the ability to make a decision based on her own choice. Nobody was forcing her to drink, it wasn't by chance or circumstance, it was her decision. Her choice. And it sure as hell felt good to have that control. Or maybe alcohol simply helped her forget about all the pain and misery that had become her life. Making her way back across the sitting room, Abby collapsed in a heap upin the dark, leather couch and reached for a nearby bottle of wine, consuming the small amount left in one swallow.
I don't need any help
Yes Carter I don't need any help, especially not yours, she reflected on their earlier conversation, draping a thick blanket over her shoulders. Sometimes she swore she could strangle John with her bare hands given half the chance. Who the hell did he think he was exactly? Prince Charming, ready to swoop in and save the day?
I don't want to be rescued, I don't need to be saved
Those words were certainly true. She didn't need anybody's help anymore. For as long as she could remember Abby had looked after herself, why change now? Why did John suddenly feel the need to stick his nose into her life now? They weren'tlovers, hell they weren't even friends anymore. That ended on the night he cruelly rejected her. Oh the humillation of pouring her heart out to him only to be given the cold shoulder. The female nurse had always believed she could turn to the male doctor in times of trouble but now she had nobody. Abigail Lockhart was officially alone.
Throwing the empty, clear wine bottle to the ground, it cracked upon imapct with the hard flooring. Stumbling towards the kitchen, she ignored the broken shards of glass at her feet and searched the cupboards for her much desired bottle of vodka. Pouring herself out a rather generous measure, the former med-student settled herself back down on the couch and picked up the phone, contemplating whether or not to phone him. It was true that she missed Carter's friendship. Someone to talk problems over with, grab a coffee with, share a joke or two with...... But Abby was too proud and stubborn to admit to John that she had problems in fear of making herself vulnerable again. Vulnerable to his rejection. The nurse pondered on whether to phone Susan but she didn't wish to burden a woman she had only known for five minutes with all her problems. Grabbing the large glass and consuming the remaining amount of alcohol, Abby snatched her leather coat and headed out of her apartment. She knew exactly where to go. She knew exactly who to go to.
Author's Notes: So who is Abby heading out to see? Will they help her, what will happen? Will she ever sort out her life? Will she ever work out her problems with Carter? Do you want me to continue or not? If so please say, feedback very much welcome!!
* Chapter 1 *
In My Place
In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah
Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters, so please don't sue me. This is going to be a long fic, hopefully interesting to read concerning the tangled life of Abby and her relationships with Luka, Carter and a host of others. It's very angsty and goes into in a lot of depth to the main charcters lifes, problems, choices etc. Spoilers for season 8 and 9. Takes place at the scene in Brothers And Sisters where Abby is awoke in her apartment. Enjoy, feedback very much welcome!!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The loud crash from the apartment directly above awoke Abby Lockhart with a startle. Jumping up quickly, the nurse sat perfectly still in her bed for countless minutes. The only sound that could be heard in the still darkness of the bedroom was her heavy, frantic breathing. She ran a hand through her tangled hair and threw her legs over the side of the bed in one, quick motion. Grabbing her cosy, grey sweater and pulling it over her head, she walked barefoot across the sitting room towards the apartment door. The many gold locks glistened in the darkness as the familiar sense of nausea passed over her whilst running a hand across them.
I'm safe, she told herself before slumping down to the ground, her back pressed against the door. He's gone, Brian's not here anymore. He can't possibly hurt me now.
Abby stifled a laugh at the mess which had become her life. Every night she lay awake in the fear. Fear of Brian returning, fear of her mother forgetting to take her medication, fear of losing the will to live. She had long stopped pretending that she had a firm grasp on her life. Abby Lockhart in control? Yeh right, good one. Perhaps that was one of the reasons she began drinking again, to finally have the ability to make a decision based on her own choice. Nobody was forcing her to drink, it wasn't by chance or circumstance, it was her decision. Her choice. And it sure as hell felt good to have that control. Or maybe alcohol simply helped her forget about all the pain and misery that had become her life. Making her way back across the sitting room, Abby collapsed in a heap upin the dark, leather couch and reached for a nearby bottle of wine, consuming the small amount left in one swallow.
I don't need any help
Yes Carter I don't need any help, especially not yours, she reflected on their earlier conversation, draping a thick blanket over her shoulders. Sometimes she swore she could strangle John with her bare hands given half the chance. Who the hell did he think he was exactly? Prince Charming, ready to swoop in and save the day?
I don't want to be rescued, I don't need to be saved
Those words were certainly true. She didn't need anybody's help anymore. For as long as she could remember Abby had looked after herself, why change now? Why did John suddenly feel the need to stick his nose into her life now? They weren'tlovers, hell they weren't even friends anymore. That ended on the night he cruelly rejected her. Oh the humillation of pouring her heart out to him only to be given the cold shoulder. The female nurse had always believed she could turn to the male doctor in times of trouble but now she had nobody. Abigail Lockhart was officially alone.
Throwing the empty, clear wine bottle to the ground, it cracked upon imapct with the hard flooring. Stumbling towards the kitchen, she ignored the broken shards of glass at her feet and searched the cupboards for her much desired bottle of vodka. Pouring herself out a rather generous measure, the former med-student settled herself back down on the couch and picked up the phone, contemplating whether or not to phone him. It was true that she missed Carter's friendship. Someone to talk problems over with, grab a coffee with, share a joke or two with...... But Abby was too proud and stubborn to admit to John that she had problems in fear of making herself vulnerable again. Vulnerable to his rejection. The nurse pondered on whether to phone Susan but she didn't wish to burden a woman she had only known for five minutes with all her problems. Grabbing the large glass and consuming the remaining amount of alcohol, Abby snatched her leather coat and headed out of her apartment. She knew exactly where to go. She knew exactly who to go to.
Author's Notes: So who is Abby heading out to see? Will they help her, what will happen? Will she ever sort out her life? Will she ever work out her problems with Carter? Do you want me to continue or not? If so please say, feedback very much welcome!!