A/N - Hey, Y'all! So I'm back with a new Yandere Sim fic. I kinda fell in love with Miyuji Shan when I saw her in the game, and for some reason, she really captured my imagination. So I decided to write about her transformation. Yes, this does take place in the same universe as "The Escape", but you don't have to read it to understand what's going on. Also, there is a failed suicide attempt in this story, so read at your own discretion. Please leave feedback so I know what to work on later. Love y'all :)

Face the Music

I stared at the blank chalk board in front of me from my seat in class. I found myself studying it for a while, even though there was nothing to look at but the remnants of white chalk that once explained today's lesson. I glanced down at my desk, which had long since been defaced. I wanted to fight it, but I was too exhausted to. How many years had it been of this torment? It wasn't going to stop, I couldn't do anything, and nobody would ever do anything to stop it. After a few moments of sulking I packed up my school bag, put in my earbuds, then stumbled out of class. I didn't bother looking back at Akademi as I left it; I didn't want to take that one last look many would. I didn't plan on returning.

Roads winded and turned, becoming a jumbled mess of people going about their lives with no regard for each other. Not that I could blame anyone. Everyone leads a separate life, but the communicationless crowd enforces the deep rooted loneliness I've found harder and harder to ignore. I stumbled along the sidewalk, keeping my eyes averted from the people around me. I didn't want them to see through me. I knew I was invisible, but sometimes I could feel people staring through my soul, like all the effort I put into acting fine was meaningless. They could tell. They knew how horrible I was. I could feel it in everyone recognizable. It made me sick to think of it all. I hurried up to get down to the subway, being careful not to bang my guitar case into anyone or anything. I wanted to play a few last songs before sleeping.

Once I was down in the subway, I found a quiet (by comparison) corner to curl up in. I set my bag down, pulled my guitar out of my case and began to play a familiar song I had been playing off and on for a few weeks.

"Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding, fall into your sunlight. The future's open wide, beyond believing, to know why hope dies. Losing what was found, a world so hollow, suspended in a compromise. The silence of this sound, is soon to follow. Somehow, sundown," I quietly sang to myself as I strummed my guitar, letting the strings slice at my sensitive thumb in the absence of my guitar pick. Soreness rang through my right thumb as I played, but I ignored it. It was worth the pain to hear some music, worth it even more to make it myself. As I disappeared further into my own mind into my music, the world ran around me at a never ending hustle. I blocked out the busy world and focused on the sweet vibrations of my old acoustic guitar. Truthfully, it had seen better days, but through the roughness we had been through together, it remained my faithful companion, and would until the end.

As I fell out of the alternate reality of my music, I gently tapped my palm to the strings to stop the sound suddenly. I gently set my guitar in its case and closed it for possibly the last time. Looking to my school bag, I felt confliction emotions course through me. Was I really going to do this?

Did I have a choice?

I reached into my bag and pulled out a mixed bottle of pills then a bottle of water. I stared at the two things in my hands for a moment before clearing my head and pouring a handful of pills into my palm. I wasn't really sure what all they were. I just mixed a bunch of different kinds I found in my mother's cabinet. I didn't particularly care what they were so long as the did their job. I choked back the handful of pills, took a swig of water, and swallowed them all in one painful gulp. I groaned a bit, regretting not just taking them one by one. I didn't want to chicken out and stop at one or two. I had to do it all at once so I couldn't change my mind last minute. It was done. I couldn't take it back, I couldn't be a coward and stop it again. I felt an odd sense of pride in that fact as I lied down next to my guitar, resting my head on my school bag as I watched the busy subway wave like the ocean, ripples of people passing by and shouting, yet whispering all at once. It was an incoherent jumble of images and sounds, but nothing seemed to fit together the more drowsy I got. I hoped that would be a good thing. As the world got blurrier and quieter, I tried to think back to some comforting chords strummed expertly by someone who knew what they were doing. I would love to hear someone play for me, but I will never hear such a thing. It wouldn't have to be romantic, in fact, I never imagined the shadow musician as a lover, but more as a dear friend, or a guardian. I wondered if I would meet that angel when I faded away, or if I was to disappear into nothing. I could go for either one. My last conscious thoughts were on a made up song in my head that lulled me off like a silent lullaby.

"Miss, can you hear me?"

Who was speaking? What was I hearing. God… My head… It hurt so horribly!

"Kid? Kid, can you hear me?"

My body felt cold on the concrete, and my uniform did little to protect me from the colder weather. I shivered a bit, then heard an odd groaning sound. Was that me? My stomach turned into several knots and throbbed against its prison cell in rage, erasing all other thoughts from my mind. I jolted into full consciousness as I puked my guts up, and consequentially, lots of pills. Shit.

I weakly opened my eyes to see a man in a suit knelt beside me. He was tall with shaggy black hair but was easily in his early forties. He had brown eyes, which seemed to reflect worry. The man seemed to be supporting me on my side, his hand on my wrist as if to take my pulse. I briefly wondered how he knew something was wrong among the massive crowd of people always in the subway, but I decided not to think too much on it… or anything at that moment because my head was hurting like a bitch! I whimpered in misery as I finally got myself to stop throwing up. He gently wiped my face with a napkin then offered me some water. I weakly accepted what I was given, but the smell of vomit penetrated my nose only to make me feel sick again.

"I'm going to move you, ok, Miss?" he said quietly. I nodded in agreement as he lifted me up and moved me away from the mess. We moved a little farther away, just far enough to get away from that horrible smell. He set me down on my side then ran to get our things and bring them back. He knelt back down next to me and took my pulse once more before offering me more water.

"Can I go back to sleep?" I asked weakly in exhaustion.

"No, you need to stay awake until the symptoms pass." He said as he pulled out his phone. Realizing he might be trying to send me to a hospital, I reached up and set my hand on the phone.

"P-Please don't make me go to the hospital."

"You were overdosing, Miss, a hospital visit is in order."

"But I'm getting better… Please, just let me wait it out. I don't want to be kept in the hospital, it'll just make everything worse. I'm sorry, just please, please don't make me go."

He contemplated my request for a moment before sighing, "Ok, but if your condition worsens, you're going to the hospital right away. Got it?"

"Ok… I'm sorry."

We sat in silence for a while as the symptoms cleared up. I kept sipping water to ease my stomach and headache. It helped my tummy, my head, not so much. The man insisted I stay on my side for at least thirty minutes, despite the symptoms dying down. I didn't protest it, I wasn't feeling up for walking or even sitting up. As my body started to return to normal, or, as normal as possible for that moment, I noticed that the subway had cleared out a lot. Now there was only a few stragglers rather than the massive sea of people that had been there when I arrived. I wondered how long I had been asleep. I didn't bother to check the time before I took the pills, and I wasn't too concerned with it at that moment either. I looked up at the man who was helping me but decided to stay quiet. I wondered why he had stopped to help me out. By the looks of it, he was either heading to or coming home from a business trip. He was in a nice suit, or, it would've been before I barfed on him and before he got on the ground to help. He also had a suitcase with him, along with a carry on bag that looked like it would have work supplies inside. I just hoped I wasn't causing him to miss a flight.

"Are you starting to feel better?" He asked as he turned off his cell phone and set it in his pocket.

"I feel like hell, but less like hell than I did earlier," I replied.

"Well, at least you're starting to recover. Are you well enough to stand? Do you need help getting home?"

I was quiet for a moment, briefly thinking about home, which wasn't any better than school. I shook my head, "I can't go home today. I'm just going to camp out here until school tomorrow."

"Alone in the subway? That's very dangerous," he inquired with a concerned expression.

"I'll manage, it'll be ok."

"You can sleep here, but I'm stay with you to make sure you're safe, Kid." The man sighed and opened up his suit case. He pulled out a pillow and blanket, then offered them to me. I stared at them blankly for a moment, unsure of if I should accept. "It's ok, I'm not here to hurt you."

"Um… Ok, thanks. I'm sorry." I accepted the pillow and set it under my head on the cold concrete. He draped the blanket over me then opened another bottle of water since I had almost finished the first one. It was odd, normally I wouldn't say more than two words to a stranger, yet here I was in the company of one, feeling more comfortable than I had in a long time. "Can I ask your name?"

"I'm Hisato Aishi, what about you?"

"Um, I'm Miyuji Shan… it's uh, nice to meet you, sorry for the weird circumstances."

"I'm just glad whatever you took was obviously not that strong or you might not be alive right now. I have no idea how long you were unconscious."

"… Why'd you help me?" I asked after some hesitation. I needed to know… I needed to know why anyone would come help me of all people.

Hisato gave me a puzzled look before replying, "You were too still and were starting to vomit in your sleep, which can be extremely dangerous. I used to be a paramedic before my wife made me switch jobs."

"But why would you help me? I'm not worth a second glance, why would you get your suit all dirty and waste a bunch of time to help me?" I asked as my whole body convulsed in a fit of trembling I had found all too common those days. I hugged the pillow a little tighter as I shivered, desperately wanting to escape myself. Hisato sighed and tucked the blanket around me closer to try to keep me from shivering so much. My shivering was probably really annoying. I'd be annoyed with me being weird like that too.

"You needed help so I helped you. Why would I leave a little girl to die in the cold like that?"

"Because I'm not going anywhere anyways. Nobody would even care if I died tonight, I doubt anyone would even notice if I was gone. I'm just a burden on everyone, and I annoy everyone, and I don't have any talent, I'm stupid, and I don't have any friends and and and," I couldn't finish talking. The more I spoke, the more choked up I got. By this point I was just blowing it out like a baby, sobbing and sniffling uncontrollably. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Hey, hey, it's ok, Kid. I doubt any of that is true," he assured, gently patting my back.

"It's all true, I swear!"

"You're wearing an Akademi uniform. Just getting into that that school means that you're very intelligent, talented, or athletic. They're extremely picky about their students," He explained calmly. "And even if you weren't any of those things, it wouldn't make you any less important."

"Nobody cares about me, it wouldn't matter still!"

"I care about you, and I've just met you. I care if you survive tonight, and I know that there is someone else who does too. Just think about it, think about someone you know that needs you."

Honestly, I wasn't sure. I used to have friends, but by then, all of them had abandoned me. I sniffled and clung to my pillow, going over all the faces I see every day. My parents wouldn't care, they don't even like me, I have no friends… I guess those crazy bitches would miss having someone to torment constantly, but otherwise… Um…. Maybe Mr. Jazzy Feet? Fuck it, that's all I could think of.

"Um… Mr. Jazzy Feet."

"Huh?"

"Um… He's a turtle in my club at school… Every day I share some fruit with him… His favorite fruit is strawberries. Sometimes if I let him out of the tank to sit with me, he'll waddle over and steal a strawberry from me," I chuckled a little at the thought of that little turtle. He always brightened my day somehow, even though he was just a little turtle who probably didn't even care that much about me unless food is involved.

"And who would give Mr. Jazzy Feet strawberries if you weren't around?" Hisato asked.

"Um… I don't know…"

"Even if it's just for him, you should keep surviving… I understand how hard it is. I've been where you are, I've tried to end my life too, but we have to keep surviving, because there's someone who needs us to keep living."

"But the only pers-… Only a turtle needs me…"

"For now, but soon there will be a person that needs you. Maybe someone already does and you just don't know it yet," he said quietly. "Before my daughter was born, I saw no point in living… But I can't leave her, so I have to keep fighting for her. She saved my life, and continues to. I'm sure soon, you'll find someone who makes you want to keep living. Someone, something, there'll will be something in your life soon that makes surviving worth it in the end. I know you don't believe it now, I wouldn't either, but I want you to know that it's true, even if right now, it feels like a lie."

"But what if the person I am isn't worth keeping around?" I asked nervously. "I hate myself. There's nothing about me that I like."

"Then be the you that you want to be. Be who you want to be until you love yourself, and don't let anyone take away your identity. Be you while you still can, and don't compromise. If you want to do something, be something, do it. I know it's easier said than done, but I know you can do it."

I continued to cling to the pillow, contemplating who I would want to be if I could choose. What about myself can I control? What can I truly be if I try? I looked up at Hisato then back at the ground in defeat. I wanted to do what he said, but I didn't know how to change myself. Was it even possible? What if I was just destined to be a miserable person, or was destiny irrelevant? What would I do if I could change my fate? Would I make destiny my bitch?

"I… I guess if I survived anyways… it's… it's worth I try."

He smiled and pat my shoulder, "Good. I'm proud of you for being strong."

"Is… Is continuing to live really strong? People do it every day."

"It is when life has fucked you over… Uh, sorry, excuse the language."

I chuckled, "Shit, man, you don't have to worry about it. I just… Nobody's ever called me strong before… or said that they were proud of me. I've always just been a disappointment… Nobody's ever been proud of me." I felt tears start to roll down my cheeks again. Great, I had just gotten myself to calm down a bit.

"People will be. I expect to hear your name again someday, ok, Miyuji?"

"I… I'll try not to let you down, Mr. Aishi… Thanks for everything," I said as I hugged his arm, then let go to hug the pillow again.

He nodded, "It's no problem. Mind if I play your guitar?"

"Yeah, go ahead." I murmured tiredly as I felt a yawn coming on. He said a thanks and began to play the guitar.

"Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools, " said I, "You do not know
Silence, like a cancer, grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells, of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls"
And whispered in the sounds of silence"

The next morning, I woke up to the loud sounds of people getting on the subway during the morning rush. I yawned and sat up, checking my unfamiliar surroundings. I remembered what had happened the night before and folded the blanket before looking to Hisato, who was struggling to keep his eyes open. My guitar was back in its case and beside my bag was a small convenience store bag. When I peeked inside, there was a cup of spicy noodles, some strawberry poky, and fresh strawberries along with some extra cash.

"Is this for me?" I asked.

"Yeah, so you don't have to run back home for lunch. You should get going to school before it gets too late so you have time to freshen up before class," Hisato said as he packed his suitcase up once more. "I need to be getting home myself." He stood up and smiled a little at me. I stood up too and threw my arms around him.

"Thank you so much for everything," I mumbled as I clung to the stranger for a moment. He hugged me back for a moment.

"There's no need to thank me, Kid. Just go out there and keep fighting, ok?"

"Will I ever see you again?" I asked.

He was quiet for a moment, "I'm afraid it's unlikely, but I'll hear about you when you accomplish something great, ok?"

I frowned a little…. I wasn't sure what I expected. Why would I random stranger old enough to be my dad continue to hang out with me… It'd look super weird I guess. Though in a way, he was more of a dad to me in a single night than my actual father has been in sixteen years. I guess I just liked that feeling for once. I dried my eyes and nodded.

"I understand… Just, thank you. And keep doing a good job with your daughter. She's really lucky to have you."

"Thank you. Don't forget that your family is lucky to have you too, Miyuji," Hisato smiled sadly at me as he let go of me. "Go make everyone proud, Kid. You got me routing for you, don't forget that, ok?"

"Ok. I won't forget you, Mr. Aishi."

"And I won't forget you."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

I took a deep breath before picking up my school bag, lunch bag, and guitar case. I smiled to him and waved, "I'm off to school then. See you around."

"Goodbye, Kiddo." He waved back before pulling out his phone, which was having a seizure. As I walked away, I heard him tell someone, I guess his wife, that he couldn't call her because his phone died during a delayed flight that kept him away all night. I couldn't blame him, most people would assume the worst if he just said he spent the night talking to some teenage girl in the subway. I pushed that thought out of my mind and made my way to school, thinking about what I wanted to be. Who did I want to be?

I spent the whole day at school contemplating who I wanted to be. I thought about everything I admired, everything I fantasized about being, and one thing stood out among everything else. Rockstar. I couldn't exactly just magically become a rocker type overnight… Though truth be told, I was already obsessed with rock music and had been my whole life… plus I play and sing on my free time… Maybe all that I really have to do is look the part and pretend to have the confidence idols practically secrete. I already pretend to be ok every day… I can do this. The idea was locked into my head. I would become a rocker chick for real by the next day.

After school, I raced to the mall to make my new attitude from a new look. I bought all kinds of punk looking clothes, accessories, and makeup. I then grabbed the crown jewels of my transformation; strawberry red hair dye and some piercings along with a diy machine for it that was cheaper than getting it done at the shady parlor down the road. I knew it'd probably hurt like a motherfucker, but it had to be done. I headed home once all my money was spent, practicing walking with my head up so I could see the world around me beyond the ground for once. I felt self conscious as fuck letting people get a clear view of my face, but I fought through the fear. I had to pretend it didn't exist. I kept this up until I got home, where I locked myself in my bathroom to complete the physical transformation with scissors, the dye, and the piercings.

After I was satisfied with my look, I went to my room to play my guitar until bed.

"Tomorrow, I'm going to be the Miyuji I want to be. There're holes in my face, my hair is cut and dyed, I tossed out my old stockings, I can't chicken out of this. I'm gonna be different tomorrow," I said to myself to calm the anxiety setting in. I'd need to get better at pretending it didn't exist. I would be the person I wanted to be started that day forward.