Darcy Lewis sang along to the radio as she sat in traffic. Ugh. She was so gonna be late for work. Good thing her boss, Jane, was a complete wuss and wouldn't really give her any shit about it. I should really be nicer to Jane, she thought, and then forgot about it.
"Hey I just met you and this is crazy," Darcy sang, "but here's my number so call me maybe. God song, why you be so catchy!" She ran a hand through her mostly dry hair and watched the drivers in the cars next to her. There must have been an accident or something, because this crawling traffic was highly irregular. Tired of the song, she switched the radio off.
She sipped her latte slurpily. "Mmm-mmm-mmm. Yummy in my tummy." She did a little happy-yummy-latte-dance in her seat. The driver next to her caught her eye and made a judgy face. "Bitch," Darcy sang to herself, "bitch don't hate, no don't go hatin'. If you hatin' then you stupid. If you stupid then you broke. If you broke then you homeless. Bitch you homeless." Yeesh. People were so boring sometimes. Personally, Darcy thought it was weird if people didn't do little dances for things that made them happy. Like, what the fuck kind of life were you living then? A life without joy.
Out of the blue a siren started wailing close by. "Fuck me," Darcy swore as she jumped, spilling coffee all over her shirt and hands. "Son of a bitch." She joined everyone in pulling as much to the side as possible to let the cop through, creating a weird-looking aisle in the middle of the two lane highway."Here comes the-" Darcy sang as she craned her neck to check the gender of the cop driving the car- "- groom, all dressed in blue. Something something something, and they all lived happily ever after. There house was full of laughter, their house was full of kids. There house was mortgaged to the hilt and they got divorced and then were dead."
Finally the traffic started moving again. It turned out that some motorcycle had been hit by a car and the car had skidded into a really bad position for traffic to go by. As she passed, she checked on her 'groom', who was talking to this tall guy with a weird face and long black hair. Ugh, she thought. Long hair. Bah. But how funny would that be if it turned out they were both gay and this was how they met and if they actually did end up getting married.
I ship it, she thought passionately, and then laughed and shook her head at herself. She was shipping everything these days. "Oh Tumblr," she said to herself fondly, thinking over her OTPs. "The things you make me ship." It had gotten to the point where she would see a pencil with no eraser and then one of those big pink erasers and want to cry at how sad it was- the perfectness of the two of them! The poor little things. Forever alone. Ahaha. Whatever though. It made her happy to ship things.
"Yo yo my boss woman," Darcy called as she walked into the lab. She set down her bag at her desk and took off her scarf. "How goes it?"
Jane looked up from her notes, her pencil tapping the table absent-mindedly. Tap. Tap. Tap. The sound was a major pet peeve of Darcy's for some reason. She tried to wear headphones as much as possible when Jane was in one of her Super-smart Science Woman Brainpower Note-taking Moods.
"Hmmm? Oh hello. Your hair is lovely, Darcy," Jane said in her soft little polite voice. She looked beautiful, as usual. Sadly. Just once, just once- couldn't she just have a bad hair day or something? It was so unfair!
"Thanks, Jane. I like your..." Ugh. Everything. "...necklace."
"Why, thank you Darcy. That's quite sweet of you." Jane's attention drifted back to her paper. She chewed her lip thoughtfully.
It was really unfair of Darcy to be so harsh on Jane. She knew it, but...it was just so easy. Jane was so intimidatingly smart and beautiful with her science knowledge and her big brown eyes and her frickin' sex-bomb hair. And she was all politeness and feminine and sweet, and yet almost like...helpless or something. Which was really annoying. Whatever though. Darcy didn't really like to get in-depth on her reasons for things. It just got confusing.
"Oh," Jane said, looking up from her notes again. "You know how Dr. Laufeyson was supposed to come over for the tour today?"
"Yeah, yeah. Mr. Brainman." Dr. Laufeyson was apparently some kind of super genius or something. Jane had been dying to talk to him about her own study of the possibility of other dimensions, but he lived in Boston, which was a bit far to hop on over for a lunch meeting in New Mexico. Now that it was summer though and his spring term (he was a professor, too) was over, he had flown down to New Mexico for a few months to work with Jane. This was supposed to be their first day together.
"Well apparently he got in some kind of accident so that's postponed 'til tomorrow."
"What? Wow. You're really calm about this. Isn't he like the man you want to marry and he just almost died?" Darcy stretched at her desk. Arms up, wave them to the side, roll the neck, yup yup. It was really funny to hear Jane talk about Brainyboy. She would get really animated and wave her arms a lot and use words like 'phenomenal', 'mind-blowing', and 'sexy man-body'. Well, technically that last one was subtext, but whatever.
"Darcy!" Jane blushed slightly. "Stop that. I never said any such thing! And anyways, it was a minor accident. He's fine really, there's just a lot of paperwork and he thought it would be better to start off tomorrow instead."
"*Cough* Lazy genius boy. *cough*"
Jane shook her head and went back to her notes. Darcy sat down at the desk and turned the laptop on. She spent the rest of the day entering in the data and notes Jane had set aside for her. Ugh. It was tedious. But the pay was decent at least, and while she wasn't crazy about Jane she didn't actively dislike her, which was more than could be said for most people she met. So she stayed.