It had been quite some time since the village of Konoha had been thoroughly embarrassed. It had also been quite some time since had been bewildered as it was now.
After all, how often does an internationally wanted criminal appear right in front of the Hokage and her apprentice with another internationally wanted criminal slung over one shoulder and a bouquet of flowers in his hand? Not very often, a Konoha shinobi might admit. The chances are near impossible, even by ninja standards.
But yet, here Deidara was, with Uchiha Sasuke slung over his shoulder and a bunch of freshly picked daisies in his hand. The breach of security wasn't the end of embarrassment for the village though.
It took Tsunade and her apprentice, Haruno Sakura, a full five seconds to recover from the initial shock of the situation. For them, this shock was comparable to the shock a starving man might have if suddenly he was presented with a steak from a five star restaurant. After recovering from shock, it took the two kunoichi two seconds to summon help from the elite ANBU guards positioned around the Hokage tower.
The same shock overtook the ANBU squad. It took them a fourth of second to recover from the shock of seeing their targets that had long evaded them standing in front of them. It took them another fourth of a second to evaluate the situation and determine that, well, Deidara was doing nothing except standing there and smiling like a fucking idiot. It then took the ANBU two and a half seconds to neutralize and secure the threat. It took that long because two ANBU smacked head on in tackling the grinning shinobi in front of them. Their squad leader stepped over them in irritation and roughly turned Deidara around and bound his hands in a way that he couldn't make any hand signs, and pushed him to the ground. He then pushed Sasuke and bound him as well. The rest of the ANBU squad stood behind him, either grimacing behind their masks at their team mates' idiotic moves, or in anticipation of the total ass chewing they were sure to receive later. The two that had smacked into each other were praying that they wouldn't be demoted down into chunins again. All the while, Deidara was still grinning like a mad man.
He had reason to. The average time it took to respond to an emergency and secure it was about three seconds. However, he had caused a situation that had taken ten seconds total to secure. A squad of ANBU had been slaughtered in less time by Deidara himself. All and all, it was one huge embarrassment for the village.
The ANBU guards silently hauled off the smug shinobi and his unconscious companion to their high security head quarters. On the way out, the squad leader kicked the two operatives responsible for the time lag. They knew that they were in for it when they got to the head quarters.
Tsunade and Sakura were left behind. Both let out a breath that they had been holding. Sakura leaned back on her shishou's desk and clutched her heart, which was beating wildly. Not only she had been in the presence of two very powerful shinobi who could have killed her in an instant with her guard let down, but she had seen Sasuke…the very bastard she had been chasing for years to bring back to the village. She shook her head in disbelief. She knew that what had just happened was real, but she was having trouble believing it. Sakura ran a hand through her hair. This was hurting her brain.
"Sakura?" The kunoichi looked behind her. Tsunade was sitting in her usual chair, but she was leaned forward and was cradling her head in her head. Her mouth was set into a thin, tight line.
"Yes, Shishou?"
"You are not to speak of what just happened her to anyone one. Not to Kakashi. Not to Shizune. Especially not to Naruto. I don't want him tearing through the ANBU headquarters to find that Uchiha bastard. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Tsunade-shishou."
"Now, go. I want you to take the rest of the day off. You're probably still in shock from seeing those two, and I don't want it to affect your work. We don't need another incompetent medic at the hospital. There's enough over there to fill the five nations to the brim. Before you head home, I want you to walk Tonton to the hospital and hand her off to Shizune. She's been hanging around here too much lately, and she's getting an attitude. Maybe walking her might take an edge off of her attitude. You may go." Tonton oinked in protest. Frankly, she liked hanging around the Hokage office. She was getting used to doing nothing and living the lap of luxury.
"Thank you." Sakura gave her a quick bow and scooted the lazy pig out of the door with her foot. Tsunade waited until her student and the grumbling pig were well down the hallway, and then stomped the floor. It opened up, revealing a bottle of fine sake she had been hording for months. She checked to make sure no one was around, and carefully took out the bottle and examined it. Tsunade always had a keen sense of when work was about to arrive, and she had quite the hunch that this incident was going to spark quite a lot of paper work on her part. She opened up the bottle of sake and took a sip. Today was going to be a very long day.
AN: Hey guys. It's been quite a while. Two years? Two and a half? Hell, what does it matter.
I might be back.
Opportunist will not. Maroon will not.
Quite frankly, I'm disappointed in the fandom and Naruto itself lately. So, allow me to introduce a little bit of that old stuff that we all miss back into the fandom.
Enjoy. I might post more, depending on my mood.