Never Lose Love
Sometimes you don't realize what you have until you've lost it.
He stood before him with crossed arms and narrowed eyes. His feet were spread apart and his legs were stiff. Gau glared down at Raikou as he sat on the sofa. He attempted to look away, but Gau's eyes seemed to hold his in place. It felt like the scolding lasted an eternity, though only but a few minutes.
"Raikou-sama, I'm tired of going over this! If you put the folders in the wrong place, I can't find them!" Gau barked. Raikou sighed, attempting to block out the rant. He pulled away from the glare and looked off to the left a little. Gau followed his eye line, making sure that he would be seen.
"Don't try to ignore me!" he growled, "It irritates me when you don't listen! I don't just say things for the sake of saying them! I want them to be heard and used constructively! Furthermore – Raikou-sama, look at me when I'm talking to you!"
"Gau, I heard you the first million and a half times," Raikou groaned, "Look, I just put the folder down for a second and I lost it. I'm sorry!"
"Sorry doesn't help me! I stayed up past midnight just to get that done. It was due today! Hattori's not going to be pleased!" Gau muttered.
"That's for me to worry about and you to just relax," Raikou spat.
"Augh! I'm sick and tired of this freaking attitude of yours!" Gau screamed, stomping his foot.
"My attitude? You're the sixteen-year-old! You're the one with an attitude problem!" Raikou countered. Gau threw his arms up and groaned loudly, storming to the front door and grabbing his coat.
"And where are you going at this hour?"
"I don't want to do this right now! I'm going out! I need to clear my mind!"
He left the house in a huff, slamming the door behind him. Raikou sat back and sighed. He had never meant to lose the folder, yet somehow fate did not seem to care for that. His hand ran through his pink hair as he sighed, trying to remember where he last had it.
The phone rang, and Raikou was hesitant to get off the sofa to pick it up. The ringing continued and began to agitate him. It could be someone important. Despite the lack of motivation, he stood and answered it.
"Hello?" he asked.
"Hey, Raikou." Yukimi's voice was casual.
"Hi, Yukimi."
"You sound tired. Did we wear you out this afternoon?"
"No, Gau and I had a fight…"
"Ah. Temper's pretty feisty tonight, huh?"
"I guess. It's kind of my fault, but he won't accept my apology."
"What were you fighting about? Did you forget to take out the garbage or some bullcrap like that?"
Raikou sighed, switching the phone to his other hand and leaning against the wall.
"No… I… I kinda misplaced one of the profiles he did," he said quietly.
"Misplaced as in put it out of alphabetical order or some other anal thing only Temper-kun would notice?"
"No… misplaced as in… lost it completely. He stayed up all night just to finish it…"
"Ah, bummer. Say, it wouldn't be the one on that weird bald guy with the wacky beard would it?"
Raikou's mind was reeling immediately.
"Y-Yeah! But how did you-?" he stammered.
"Oh, yeah. You left it here this afternoon. I noticed it was finished and turned it in to the leader personally. He seemed confused about it being in my possession, but I got you covered," Yukimi assured him proudly. Raikou, despite the good news, felt sick.
"Oh… um… thank you, Yukimi," he murmured.
"You hardly sound that way. Hey, I found it, man. You can tell Temper that it's been taken care of!" Yukimi exclaimed.
"Except that he just… left."
"Ooh. Crap. That sucks. Think he'll be back?"
"I don't know. He seemed pretty upset. Do you think I should wait it out?"
"I would. It always seems to work with Yoite. Then again, I don't really like Temper, so I wouldn't care if he came back or not. My advice is probably pretty worthless in that situation."
"Okay… well… thanks anyway, Yukimi. I'm sure Gau would be glad to know you found it too. He won't have to retype everything now."
Each of them said good-bye before hanging up. Raikou leaned against the wall, staring at the floor in deep thought. He tried to tell himself that Gau would be fine. He would come home that night. He would be back after he cooled off. Some time alone outside would be good for him. Outside with his cute coat wrapped tightly around his slender figure and his arms folded tightly across his chest, if not rested on his hips.
Raikou grabbed Shirogamon and left the house.
Gau stormed through the city, dodging people on the sidewalk. All he wanted was to have time alone. At the same time, he did not want to be too far from home. He was already in an unfamiliar location, unsure of how to get back. Quickly, he stepped away from the sidewalk and into a darkened alley. He wanted to be away from everything else.
He sat against the right wall, behind the shadows. He watched the people walk past, unaware of his presence. It reminded him of Raikou, who never seemed aware of what he had been told.
Whatever he said was only to the wind. Not a soul heard it. None of it was carried out. He often wondered if Raikou even cared. He always looked down upon the young, weak boy. In battle, it was always Gau's duty to stay behind and watch. It was never up to him. He was inferior.
Gau held his legs together tightly, sighing and watching the air cloud as it left him. Slowly, his eyelids began to droop.
It had been two hours since Raikou had left the house. He had searched all of Gau's usual places in and out of the city. Already, the people walking had begun to vanish, eventually leaving Raikou alone. It was then that he began to wish that he had brought his cell phone. He was growing more worried about Gau.
The sky was pitch black and the wind blew icily. Raikou wrapped his arms around himself, trying to stay warm. Gau had worn his jacket. He was always telling Raikou to bring his whenever he left the house during the cold season. He began to wonder if he should start listening to Gau. For someone four years younger, he was fairly perceptive.
He always seemed to know what was best. He knew Raikou better than his own sister. To have someone understand everything was more than Raikou could ask for. He had taken it for granted, though he swore not to. Would there be a way to apologize? Would there be forgiveness?
Alone he walked. The air was colder than before. The city was still. Noise was dead. Raikou felt empty. He needed Gau.
A cold wind blew, waking Gau at once. He looked towards the opening of the alley, realizing that every living creature had completely disappeared from the streets. Getting to his feet, Gau walked out to the sidewalk. The world stood still.
He stood in a pile of slush as the wind bit his face. He held his arms against his chest to keep warm, though it felt as if he were holding icicles. As he stood in the middle of the ghost town, he began to feel forlorn. He knew it was time to go home. Raikou would be worried enough by now.
He looked left and right, unable to remember which way he had come from. Nothing around him was familiar and seemed to tower above him to create a feeling of insecurity in the pit of his stomach. He felt stupid for leaving home. He felt that he should have just slept on it instead of going so far from home. Without Raikou, he felt like nothing.
"What was I thinking?" he thought. With his arms still crossed against his chest, he pulled the coat tighter around his body. It had to have been below zero. He could not stand around anymore. He had to move.
He began to walk down the sidewalk, in hopes of seeing something familiar. If only he had kept his eyes on the scenery and not on his feet before. Nothing brought back memories and every sight was a stranger. The wind blew, reminding him that he was completely alone.
Raikou always told him to stay by his side. He always worried about his safety as someone ill-equipped in the Hidden World, which at times made Gau feel worthless. Now he had gone against his wishes, leaving him away from Raikou and even what seemed to be the rest of the world. Had he finally become the one at fault? The one who was wrong while the other was right? The hypocrite? He did not want to admit any of it. A single tear fell down Gau's cheek, though he wiped it away quickly, for Raikou did not like it when he cried.
He walked past another alley, wondering if he had gone in circles. It was not until figures emerged that he realized that he had not. Three men cackled to each other, looking at him with a sort of intimidating look in their eyes. He made the immediate mistake of expressing fear.
"Well, well, I haven't seen you around here," the leader said with a smug grin.
"What's the matter, little boy? Lost?" asked the second man. Gau looked away from them, trying to continue his search for home. The first man got in front of him, blocking his path.
"What's your rush? You haven't even told us your name," he crooned.
"Where are you off to in such a cute outfit? Does your mother know that you're out so late?" asked the third man.
He refused to speak, despite his urge to shout for help or at least defend himself. To make any noise would be a mistake. He wanted to prove to Raikou and himself that he could do something right. If he did nothing, the men might lose interest. However, to his irritation, the men continued to circle him, making obscene remarks and disturbing gestures. The only thing he could think to do was run. He darted off in the opposite direction, the three men tailing close behind.
"Hey, come back! Don't you want to play with us?" called the second man. Gau kept his mind on the sidewalk. He had to get away from them. Surely they would not pursue him much longer.
He was wrong. They kept up the chase for nearly a half hour. He was unsure how much longer he could avoid them. He would have to be crafty, or try to remember a stealthy skill from Raikou. As he ran past buildings, he spotted an upcoming alley. He had a far enough lead that he might have been able to get to the other side of the building to throw them off or at least buy him some time.
He ducked into the alleyway, ready to dash through, but stumbled upon a terrible truth. He had run into nothing but a dead end.
Raikou stared at the ground, sighing in disappointment. Gau was nowhere to be found. He wondered if he had gone home already or if he was looking for him too. Despite feeling that Gau was still out there, Raikou began to turn around and go home.
"How could I let it come to this?" he thought. Gau had not gone so far out of line before. If there was ever a time Gau left Raikou, it was for his own good. Now it did not seem that way. What was he thinking? Raikou stopped in his tracks and Shirogamon slipped through his fingers, clattering loudly as it hit the sidewalk. His hands covered his face.
"Gau…" he murmured, "Why don't you see… what you mean to me…?"
That was when he heard shouting.
"There he is! After him!"
Someone was in trouble. He could not turn away from the commotion. Without looking away from the direction of the voices, he stooped and located Shirogamon, lifting it once more.
"No one can save you now, kid. You'd best just let this take its course."
He listened more closely. There was no cry for help. It seemed odd. He had to do something. Quickly, he ran towards the voices.
Raikou rounded a corner, noticing a space between the buildings, where the commotion seemed to be coming from.
"Well, you're quite a fighter! It's no use struggling. It's three against one, y'know?"
Shirogamon in hand, Raikou ran to the alley. There stood three hulking men. One stood in front and seemed to be the leader. The other two stood beside each other, holding their wriggling victim against the wall. Immediately, Raikou caught a glimpse of Gau's face.
"You don't say much, kid. Maybe this will be easier than I thought…" said the head male.
Almost involuntarily, Raikou's armed hand rose and placed the blade of the sword by the leader's neck.
"If you so much as lean in his direction, my hand may slip," he snarled. The man turned his head slightly, looking at Raikou for the first time. His lips seemed to curve upwards at the sight of his pink hair, but the smile erased as his eyes fell upon Shirogamon.
"O-Oh, hey! Is this your kid?" he asked innocently, "Oh, we were just-! Uh, watching over him! Yeah, like a guardian angel or something! Just until you found him!"
"Cute," said Raikou with a sarcastic smile, "Now… I'm going to give you until the count of ten to leave my presence. One… Two… Nine…"
The men dropped Gau to the ground and ran without making a single sound. Raikou watched them leave before looking back at Gau, who looked back at him. This curious boy who never cried for help. It felt like déjà vu. Raikou felt relieved that he had once again been in the right place at the right time.
Gau shifted his glance from Raikou's eyes to the wall to Raikou over and over. At last, it seemed that he could no longer contain his thoughts.
"I know what you're thinking, Raikou-sama. I'm not completely worthless. It's not like I don't try to do things by myself. And this doesn't settle anything! It doesn't make up for your irresponsibility!" he blurted. Raikou sighed a little in relief, replacing Shirogamon in its sheath and resting his hands on his hips, bowing his head and closing his eyes.
"Don't just blow me off, okay?" Gau continued, "I understand that you're my superior and that I'm a hindrance, but I don't want you to see me like that! I hate that you ignore me! I do far too much for you to have you do that! I don't do these things for you because I have to; I do them because I want to!"
Raikou kneeled in front of Gau, gazing at him gently and looking over his face for scratches, assuring that he was unharmed. Gau continued to ramble out of nowhere, which Raikou found inexplicably endearing.
"And furthermore, I won't be taken advantage of just because I'm younger than you! You're always hitting me and pushing me around when we're around other people! I'm sick and tired of it! And if it's not too much to ask, I wish you would be more-"
Raikou pressed his lips against Gau's softly. Gau fell silent immediately, and his face became hot against Raikou's. Gently, Raikou pulled away, looking him in the eyes.
"Gau, I want you to listen to me, and I want you to listen very closely," Raikou whispered, "I apologize for my irresponsibility. Okay? And I'm sorry for the way I've been brushing you off lately. I understand that it's not fair to you."
"There has never been a moment where I stopped listening to you. Maybe I don't express my emotions very well, but if it ever appeared that I was tuned out, I assure you that I was not. I promise that I will always be listening to you and I will never take advantage of you. But in return, you have to promise that you will listen to what I have to say and you won't run off like this again. Deal?"
Slowly, Gau nodded, still cherry-cheeked. Slowly, Raikou stood up.
"Good," he smiled, "Now come on. It's late. We should go home." He held his hand out to Gau and helped him up. Along the way home, Gau walked very closely beside him, his head rested gently against his shoulder. Raikou felt warm again.
Once home, both were still silent. Gau removed his jacket and hanged it on the coat rack. Raikou stood silently, facing away from Gau. He remembered the phone call from Yukimi and looked back at him.
"I almost forgot to tell you. Yukimi called after you left. Apparently I left the folder at his house. I guess we were lucky he found it under all his crap," he said quietly. Gau said nothing, though staring at him with a gentle gaze.
"He, uh… he turned it into Hattori, so it's not like it has to be redone…" said Raikou, and then looking down, "But… just so you know… I would have done it myself. I know you worked hard on it and everything and that you pulled an all-nighter. I should be doing these in the first place. I'm really lucky to have-"
Within an instant, his cheeks were in Gau's hands and his lips were met with Gau's once again. After a stunned pause, his hands traced up Gau's figure and sifted through his hair. He pulled him closer, kissing him back. Between kisses, Gau murmured three words to Raikou that sent his heart fluttering. Softly, he returned them.
He saw then – he had never lost him.