A/N: Hi guys! Has anybody read Unspoken before? I deleted this story and some of you said you liked it very much. However I corrected a few things in the first chapter (you should surely read it again, at least to remember what's going on) and I completely made up the whole plot and I'm very excited about this story once again! I'll surely continue if you let me know you are in! I spent hours, no DAYS thinking about this story, day and night, I'm sure about it now. Unspoken is reviving, it's coming, it's here. And it's a challenge to me, honestly, especially Sebastian's character. Soo I hope you'll enjoy!~
"Please, don't make me do that."
His lips trembled when a soft whisper penetrated them and formed one vain plea. The plea so useless, having no real purpose. Just like himself. He knew this was his choice, therefore making someone stop it was against his own will. The young man averted his gaze from the sleeping beauty under his straddled trembling legs, to look at the tall silhouette sitting on the window.
He didn't expect an answer, and he did not get any. His tired eyes began to water, staring in the darkness, they captured a burning sparkle. The shadow slid his finger over the lighter trigger, and for a mere second his face was visible. Black cigarette between lips, eyebrows arched, expression painfully shrill. Eyes burning just like fire. Lifting his thumb off the trigger, the light disappeared and just smoke remained around the figure. However the goose bumps on younger's body lasted, throbs of his heart racing and racing every time seeing that ruthless face.
With a hard swallow, the blue eyed man turned back at the serene woman sleeping on the bed. Hardly could he bear the intermitted breathing, hardly stop tears rushing in his eyes. But the clock ticked, once, twice, and though the figure watched him perfectly quiet and patiently, anxiety seized his body.
He aimed the sharp edge of a small knife against woman's chest, between breasts. When her eyes snapped open, the attacker gasped and without any pinch of self-control left, he started stabbing her body like insane, not able to look in her eyes wide opened. Closing his own eyes tight, he violated the flesh with the knife, murdering the dearest woman of his life. And he didn't know why. He felt like possessed, he needed to let our all the anger he has ever held within him. All the hatred in humanity.
In the frantic attack he forgot to stop, though the body was already lifeless. His extended arm was firmly gripped by hand in leather glove and the attacker looked around to see his companion. He dropped the knife. The man dressed all in black dragged him off the bed roughly and removing the cigarette from his mouth, he pulled the trembling body to himself, quavering lips pressing on his cold mouth. Ciel found consolation, the rage subsiding immediately, he was calm again.
"I did it. I killed her, I did, Sebastian." He whispered in frightened voice, his shaking hands grabbing the lapels of the long black coat. He looked up. Seeing Sebastian's composed face, his expression changed again, into an insane smirk. "I killed her." He repeated, with absolute joy this time and fell on his knees, because he practically went crazy.
Sebastian calmly exhaled some more smoke from his lungs and slowly hunkered down to face him. He placed fingers under his chin to raise his heavy head with feather-like touch.
"Good job. We're leaving now."
The teary sapphire eyes widened, staring into the wall. For a while he dropped breathing when a hot flush captured his body. Two simple sentences inflamed Ciel's frozen heart. His stomach twisted with so far unknown feeling, limbs feeling weak. So that's what it takes to hear his deep velvet voice for the first time. Three months of madness.
1: Tutorial: How to become a madman
Three months ago
It was cold, so cold. Snowstorm raging, having no mercy with something as mankind. Chicago streets were coated in pure glittering snow, reaching up to ankles. Late half-broken Christmas decoration hung uselessly on lighted street lamps and the holiday joy vanished from the city as well Ciel's faith in humanity.
Melancholic, blasé man: introducing Ciel Phantomhive. Truly, Christmas weren't anything that would brighten his life twice. But what would, after all? Ciel was bored to death, tried to commit suicide several times but in the end started thinking philosophically and came to a conclusion, that death is even more boring than life. And then always went to bakery to buy himself a cake. He was kind of strange character, found pleasure in very few things in life (let alone people) but when he did, it was worth his while. Today, though, it was absolutely nothing.
Wrapping a grey pea coat closely to his tender body, he made his way through the fresh snow on the pavement. He was freezing to the core of his bones, although he knew how cruel winters in Illinois can get. Every exhaled breath was followed by a little cloud of steam, disappearing in the frosty air. Finally he reached the door to the place of meet up. Warm environment surrounded the 5"8' tall gentleman entering the spacious room full of hungry guests and hasty waiters. And there, by window, his woman was sitting – blond, sophisticated, beautiful, dull as hell. That's it, the way he would describe her using six words. Nevertheless, Ciel was a man who appreciated beauty and intelligence; and since he has never found a woman he would consider intelligent or even wise, he got reconciled to finding pleasure in beauty. And Elizabeth Midford surely was stunning.
"Elizabeth," he used naming as greeting when sitting in front of his charming company.
"Ciel, honey, you're late." She scowled and glanced down at her half-empty glass of white wine.
"I got stuck at work." He claimed, making her sigh.
"I'm not surprised."
After some small talk, Ciel decided to get straight to the main topic. He has decided for a life change. Not because he thought it would finally make his life happier, but because he thought it's what he should do, and what Elizabeth eagerly expects. No, seriously, she was too eager to hear him saying this for at least three months.
Ciel pulled a little box from his coat pocket and rubbed it between his fingers under the table before he spoke up.
"I have something to tell you." He said with straight face, looking up in her lustrous emerald eyes. It has been three weeks since he bought it, yet it didn't get further than from his pocket into his hand. Because he wasn't sure, he realized he should marry someone he would dedicate whole heart to, someone he would die for. But he's never felt that way before – love didn't exist to him. And if she thinks this is love and it's perfect, he didn't care if they're married or not. It was not like he finds someone worth more.
"Yes, hold the thought. Talking about work, have you got the premium? I was thinking, what about Egypt or Dubai instead of California?" And the woman pulled out a leaflet she received God knows where and shifted it on the table to her partner. The male furrowed eyebrows and sighed in annoyance. How dare she. He finally decided to make her stubborn femininity happy so she would stop bitching and that's what he gets.
"No." Shoving the box quickly into pocket again he kept looking at her strictly.
"Excuse me?" She straightened her back and cocked an eyebrow.
"Who do you think I am? I'm employed for two years barely." With a steady determined look he pushed his Ray-Ban glasses up the bridge of his nose.
With no hint of respect, the woman stood up, disappointed and angry. "Just like always. You know, I didn't even expect you to keep your promise. I need a stable man, Ciel, you're 24 for Christ's sake, how come you can't take care of one woman?! You're skilled graphic designer, they do raise a lot, you promised!" She shouted like a little bitch, making scene and embarrassing herself, whilst Ciel was patiently leaning elbow on the backrest and waited.
"Elizabeth." After his vain attempt to calm her down, she clothed herself in a long white coat while already walking out and raised her hand distinctively not to follow her. Not that he was about to. She was gone in seconds. Left alone once again, Ciel run hand through his hair, letting out a bored puff. Which fucking idiot even came up with the idea of marriage?
After Ciel paid the wine for his girl, he left the restaurant and looked around the street, finding her nowhere. What a miserable week, no, what a miserable life. He corrected himself in his mind and walked further in the snow. It wasn't smart idea to return home to Elizabeth, from his own experiences it was better to leave her to cool down, so he decided to visit gym, which was just on the way.
In a few minutes he was standing in front of a tall modern building, which was glowing in the dark street with its windows. Glancing at his wrist watches, he found out he only has something over an hour before closing up so he hurried into the fitness center.
Ciel knew the majority of customers here since they visit the place at regular time as well as him, but this time the community was entirely different. To be honest, it was full of odd bods. A strange R&B music was playing in the background (where is the pop rock that used to play? Ciel thought.) In the rhythm of beats he led his steps into the dressing room and all the eyes rose to look the rather small frame of his over. All tattooed man, lifting his dumb-bells; bronde crew cut dude, who licked his lips way too queerly and even a woman running on the treadmill looked damn creepy. The not belonging fellow made his way between the few guests and reached the changing rooms, where he was finally alone-
Actually, almost alone. He caught a sight of a person in the right part of the room. Broad tattooed shoulders, long bare back, pitch black hair reaching the nape, arm stretched out to reach the locker beside. Long legs clothed in fitting black pants and equally black undershirt was pulled on the pale torso subsequently, which prevented Ciel from reading the tattooed inscription stretching out on the shoulder blades.
That was another unknown guest to Ciel. He wasn't as strange as the others he just met, however this one was oddly handsome. And it wasn't just the silky hair, not the tall well-built figure, nor the strong arms – it was the sensual way he moved. When he lifted arm to run fingers through his hair, he appeared like the man of all men. He was that chap you imagine, when someone says 'porn'. (Maybe it was because of the porn music playing mildly from loudspeakers.) He was the type you find on the cover of sport's magazine shirtless. He was the guy making girls lose their minds. He practically shone, that is. And that was merely his figure from behind.
The incoming approached his permanent locker, just five ones distant from the individual. He calmly unlocked the metal door and pulled his sports wear out of it. He didn't bother looking aside, he didn't care that much what the stranger looks like. He came here to relax, to ease his body from all the burden. With a sigh, he grabbed his V-neck pullover behind neck and took it off, over his head. Minding his own business, he started unbuttoning the shirt and when he got to the last button, he felt unpleasant stare. It was just a sensation – but he couldn't help but to look. It was true, an electric discharge run through his body when seeing that intense look. That guy had no shame whatsoever, he didn't even bother to be inconspicuous.
Nevertheless, more importantly - his face. It was virtually diabolical. But not unsightly diabolical, but the to-be-worshipped diabolical. Abnormally handsome. The pungent eyes, seemingly looking directly through Ciel, had unbelievable reddish hue. Brown-orange and crimson mixed in those orbs and it was so astonishing, that it was spine-chilling. The gaze was different from every single one Ciel had ever seen; literally penetrating, not looking at his appearance, but straight into his soul. Lips united tight, narrow. Face shaved, pale, apparently has never seen a sunlight. Eyebrows naturally high arched and surprisingly neat for a man. Hair as coal, messy, a strand from the bangs parting from the rest. Neck pale and manly, Adam's apple visible slightly. A silver necklace hung round that neck, flashing some light back.
Looking back into those eyes was tough challenge for Ciel, he swallowed hard and avoided it as soon as it made him physically uncomfortable - he didn't sign up for a stare contest anyways. Fortunately, the stranger tucked his stuff in locker and after locking it, he slowly headed to the exit. As he expected, curious blue eyes followed his track and his gaze met second's in the mirror beside of the door once again. The raven haired flashed Ciel a mischievous smirk and then disappeared in the gym.
Taking it back; he is as creepy as them. Ciel thought for himself and continued changing. Button-up shirt was exchanged for a sleeveless t-shirt and slacks for shorts. The visitor stashed his belongings in the locker and placed his glasses on the top of folded clothes before closing. On the way he glanced at his face in the mirror opposite him and simply run fingers through his hair to throw falling strands on the side. He snorted as he recalled that man's insolent smirk again now.
Apparently nothing much has changed in the gym while he was changing, except the woman, who probably went swimming and the raven creep, who settled down by a punching bag.
The slow R&B music continued and the young man approached one of the treadmills positioned by glazed wall. He glanced at the view of sombre city, filled with plentiful shimmering snowflakes. Fortunately the environment in the gym was warmed and pleasant in such a cold days. Ciel turned around and stepped at the inactive treadmill, having a view nearly at the whole room. Clock showed about 40 minutes before closing so he didn't waste time and turned the machine on. With few slow starting steps he increased the pace and started running in a steady tempo. For the first several seconds he looked nowhere in particular and then his gaze shifted at the man with dumbbells. Nothing interesting. He was dull. Why is everything so monochrome? He was so tired of the routine they called life.
Apparently, another and the last person in the room, the man in black, took the boxing gloves and without looking around, he punched the bag. One strong punch in the center and then next ones followed. What Ciel was watching wasn't precisely in sharp vision since he took his glasses off but that man was passionate about the activity. He looked like he had reason to punch, and that was, in fact, quite gripping. Until now he carried himself into the gym as a calm person, but as soon as he pulled the gloves on, he let the Devil within him be seen.
The sound of treadmill rolling, the regular punches with the music in the spacious empty room mixed together and Ciel felt undeniably anxious about this atmosphere. However, he didn't mind that much, it was no worse than being here in the afternoon with community of cheerful youngsters with life about nothing whatsoever.
He felt the muscles on his legs stretching as he was running continuously, he felt the shallow breath quickening, heartbeat faster. It always ends up like this, Ciel felt like this activity exactly showed his mood and life situation. Running away from everything, with no will, nor strength. One of these days, he starts thinking about suicide again. He was tired of constant depressions. With a quick exhale, he switched the speed over to higher number, running faster, hoping to run into a better life.
He took another while watching the man in front of him, since he was the most eye-catching thing around. No wonder his arms were perfectly shaped, he didn't slack off here. The undershirt he was wearing clung seemingly tighter to his body, as it got slightly sweaty. The man also added legs into the exercise, practically performing the dance of the Devil.
It could already be couple of minutes without realizing, Ciel's body started to heat up as well. For some reason, he couldn't avert his sight. Then it happened again, the crimson eyes rose to view Ciel's curious eyes. And the black eyebrow arched in question. Though, it didn't change man's own actions anyhow and he kept hitting the bag without looking, Ciel lost his balance while running straight, and had to hold on the prop to prevent falling.
A confident smirk appeared on boxer's face when he, with amusement, watched the runner lose his control. When Ciel raised his head again, though, the visitor left the punching bag and reached for a bottle of water, placed by wall. Ciel watched him drink and he knew it.
Problem was, Ciel hasn't realized he was getting dangerously breathless. He turned the machine off immediately as he paused breathing for a second and then got off it. For some strange reason he felt weaker today, probably because of an unusual visiting time in the evening. He placed palms at his knees as he bent and breathed hardly. He felt dizzy.
Within seconds, he felt a hand on his burning shoulder, so he raised head to look and eyed now even taller figure of the man in black. He was holding the half-empty opened bottle of pure water. It was still icy, so he probably bought it here. The guy, however, didn't say a word while offering the drink. Nevertheless, Ciel needed water desperately, so he took it from his hand and got up on feet before watering his dry throat. After few large gulps, when he was about to thank or give it back, the man he was expecting to stand there, was gone. Ciel looked around himself but he realized he was left alone in the abandoned room, which made him swiftly glance at the wall clock, showing 10 PM. Closing time.
Tossing the empty bottle in the trash, he headed back in the changing rooms. On the way he realized he just drank from the same bottle as some creepy stranger and that he didn't consider that action at all. Moreover, that man just gave it to him without word, like it was completely normal. Maybe it was to him. It didn't really matter to Ciel, after all.
When he entered the changing rooms, he noticed one more dude he hasn't seen before. This one had short, brown wet hair, so he either just took shower or he was in the swimming pool, in the other section of the gym. Needless to mention the establishment was a wellness & fitness in one, for a pretty hefty price, however Ciel only paid the fitness part.
Then there was still the raven-haired from before, who was already leaving the shower, with a towel around his hips (a quick one, isn't he?). Which reminded Ciel he himself didn't have much time so he hurried in the shower.
He took off the clothes, watered his hair and let the mild water pour over his relaxed body for couple of seconds. When the shower was switched off, Ciel cursed his life once again when he realized there was no towel.
"Towel, of course, are you even serious." He muttered for himself as he stood naked and looked around the empty showers. Reconciled with going there just like this, he almost had a heart attack when he saw him again, standing in the door. He was extending an arm, offering a white towel. Like he knew perfectly that Ciel was forgetting it. He was quite an observer. Not that Ciel felt comfortable taking it naked, but not that he had other choice.
"Thanks?" He said and calmly tied it around his hips, never showing his discomfort. The already dressed gentleman just nodded and went back to his locker. Ciel followed him and noticed he wore only black clothing again. Black button-up shirt and also black slacks.
Ciel quickly dressed himself up before the owner decides to lock the place up and send grumpy cleaning women to cast them out while bitching about it. As soon as he put his glasses on and turned to the locker beside to return the towel, he realized he was gone again. Looking back at the exit, he still saw the man reaching the door, while dressing into a long black coat (unexpected).
"Hey! You forgot your towel, will you take it back?"
He shouted, and he was sure he heard it, however that guy didn't bother turning around and just exited the room. Ciel sighed as he shoved the towel into his locker mindlessly. "Geez, why don't you answer at least." He muttered even though he wasn't there anymore.
"He doesn't talk."
Huh. Ciel looked left to see that brown haired (he's still there?) who dropped a comment about his remark.
"What do you mean? You know him?" Ciel asked after throwing the bag strap over his head. That guy apparently didn't enjoy long talks either, he headed to the door and right before he disappeared too, he yet turned around to answer.
"Nobody does."