Ashen 1


Ashen 1

    Ashen


    They tell me to start from the beginning.
    I ask how far back they want me to go, because to understand everything that's happened and my relations to the others, you've got to have some insight to my past.
    So they tell me to explain everything, every little thought that has crossed my mind. I tell them I can't, because I rarely know what I'm thinking in the first place. So, being the ever-so-concerned souls that they are, they told me to write everything down. Not necessarily my thoughts, but more or less just what happened. Not that I'd ever have to show it to them if I didn't want to (thank God for that, I'd probably get myself killed if I did so), but it'd supposedly make me feel better.
    Yeah right.
    When you've got the death of a loved one hanging over your shoulder, no matter how much you write, it's not going to help. So, I told them what I just told you, I refused. But they were persistent little buggers and sat me down, gave me paper and pencil and told me to get to writing. So, here goes
    I can't believe I'm still here. I can't come up with any logical reasons as to why I should stay. I've tried. Nothing here is really worth my devotion. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway.
    But I know that's bullshit. I just don't know why I try to convince myself otherwise. Maybe I'm afraid of actually tying myself down to a group of people and a place.
    After all, it couldn't be that bad. But it'd sure be first for me since God knows when. Call me paranoid, call me a recluse, call me whatever you damn well please. Call me chicken shit if it floats your boat.
    You see, I've tried this whole "open to the world and everything in it" bit, and what did it get me? Nothing but scars that keep me from wearing shorts and short sleeve shirts. Then what did they go and do? They, being my family. They abandoned me! My family just up and left me! Love ya, smack ya, leave ya. That must be their motto. I don't remember them real well, there are no faces, no specific voices, just actions. They used to adore me, you know?
    Cuddle me, play with me and tell me I was beautiful. Then for some reason they turned on me. Fucking turned on a five year-old. They'd beat the hell outta me then blame it on the dog. Then, I remember one day they were just gone. Left me alone with my cuts and bruises and went to God knows where.
    Perhaps they're dead. Maybe it was me who killed them. Maybe they loved me till they figured out what I really was, me being too young to understand, and started to smack me around in fear. People always say that humans fear what they do not understand. And you know what? I believe that with every bit of my little black heart.
    But as I was saying, maybe they beat me senseless because I scared them witless. And then maybe, just maybe, one day I snapped and sucked the life right out of them like a coke slush. After all, I've been known to do that from time to time.
    In fact, I'm pretty sure that's what happened. It makes perfect sense, you know.
    So now I'm a murderer at the ripe old age of fifteen. And it didn't end with my family. There were others, others who were mean and deserved it. But I'll never be caught or go to jail. After all, what are they going to say? "She looked at him and he crumpled to the ground like a rag doll"? I think they're more likely to get hauled away to the funny farm before I go to the slammer.
    But as bad as that sounds, that was life. Run, hide, eat, sleep, and kill if you have to, then start the whole process all over again. There is no time for remorse when you have a life like that. And as for nightmares, I hardly sleep at all and when I do all there is, is blackness. I don't dream. I'm pretty grateful for that much. Because if I did dream, all it'd ever be is nightmares.
    But as I said, I don't sleep much. On a normal night you can find me either with my friends, perched on a barstool at Sally's, or lurking in the dark corners of a back ally, looking for energy with my name on it. Now, I'm sure you're thinking, "What the hell? This child is outside her head." So maybe I should back up a bit here. Hang tight, this gets a bit rough and sounds absolutely absurd, so I don't want to lose anybody. But hey, if you can't handle absurd, that's okay. It's not like need you to believe me, anyway.
    Remember my family?
    Yeah them.
    The ones I killed at age five. Wonder how I did it? Wonder how I killed all those others without getting caught? It's not what you expect, hell, I didn't even know such things existed till I saw them with my own eyeballs.
    Now, don't laugh, don't groan, and don't start contemplating on how to get me into a straight jacket, it can't be done. It may sound completely insane, cliché, and even a bit corny. Take your pick.
    But truth is truth. I am a vampire. And not the kind you're thinking of, either. If you've got those cheesy horror movie Dracula's in mind, I hate to burst your bubble (not really, but it sounds better that way you know?) but those are just figments of a director's over-active imagination.
    Sure, they got a few things right. Like fangs. I've got those, tiny little buggers, but they're damn sharp and especially painful if you bite your tongue.
    Ouch.
    Oh, and I'm sure this will make you feel lots better. I can and I do romp around in broad daylight. So there.
    And by the way. Will you just forget about the turn-into-a-bat trick? We're vampires, not aliens.
    Shows you how much humans know, doesn't it? What they don't know they make up. Yeah, that sounds about right. This should set things straight. Here's a quick lesson. Pay attention.
    There is no generic vampire. Just like everything else, there are different types with different characteristics.
    First, you have your Classics, those would be the Undead ones, the ones turned vampire right before they died. Those feed off blood, feel weak during the day, and live for a long time.
    Then you have your Inheritors who are considered Classical but inherit their vampiric nature (thus the name Inheritors), and this comes in two classes.
    Class One is almost exactly like the Undead, except they were born into vampirism.
    Class Two is basically the best thing you could be as far as vampires go. You heal quicker, you are completely immune from the sun, you still drink blood, you can regenerate lost organs or body parts, and you are as close to immortal as it comes.
    Note, close. Nothing is truly immortal.
    Nothing.
    Then, there's the Psychic-vampire a.k.a. Psi-vamp.
    That would be me.
    This means I do NOT drink blood. I can take in peoples' life sources and the energy of the things around me as nourishment. Makes me sound like a pretty wimpy vampire, now doesn't it? Yeah, tell that to the people I've killed with a single glance.
    Now, once that part of the world, the supernatural side, comes into light for you, just about everything you've ever known goes spiraling down the tubes in one big ol' Technicolor mess. That's what happened for me, anyway. But now, I just have to wonder how I went through all those years without even suspecting what is now the obvious.
    If it weren't for my kiss (that's what a group of vampires is called) I probably would have went through all my life living in total ignorance for what I was. When I was twelve years old, I met my first fellow Psi-vamp. Or more accurately, I didn't meet her, she scared the living hell out of me, made my world do a complete one eighty, then introduced herself.
    Her name is Lucrezia Noin and I owe her my life. She's the one that originally informed me that I wasn't just some psychic freak and actually classified as a vampire.
    She's also the one who brought me into the kiss, giving me a home and finally a real family.
    My family consists of five members, each rather different from each other in their vampiric natures, but most are some sort of Psi-vamp.
    First off, there's Zechs, our somewhat leader, he can be harsh, but by God he knows what he's doing.
    And there's Noin, his girlfriend, that lucky chick. There are quite a bit of people who envy her because of that.
    And who could leave out Relena, Zechs' little sister. Can't forget her because she just might kill ya if you did.
    And there's also Meiran, who, like myself, has no relation to them, just someone they've managed to pick up along the way.
    Then there's yours truly.
    We're a pretty tight knit group, which is very odd, because vampires normally like to be alone. But I don't classify myself as normal. I've gotten to where I depend on having people around me. Without my kiss I would probably be lying cold and dead in an ally or in a loony bin, complaining that the winged rabbits flying around my head are being mean to me.
    They snapped me out of my destructive lifestyle just in time. But I can't credit everything to them.
    Duo did a bang-up job of fitting broken pieces back into place.
    That's partly because he's pretty experienced with the notion of picking up and moving on. From what little I can get out of him I can easily tell that he's had the hardest life out of anyone I've ever known, or ever will, and yet he still has that silly grin plastered on his lips.
    One can't help but love him in some way. There's no escaping him. His personality sucks you right in. Yeah, I'll admit that I'm so far gone for him that it's not even funny.
    No point in denying it.
    But that doesn't mean I'll act on it. I've got my reasons.
    I wish Duo were here right this very minute.
    Actually I wish ANYONE were here now, because I'm seriously contemplating triple homicide. It's either that or suicide.
    Why? Because as I speak, I'm undergoing the absolute worst form of torture imaginable.
    Babysitting.
    Need I say more?
    ~*~*~

    "David! Get off your brother! You're making him cry!" I ordered from across the tiny apartment at the five year-old who was inspecting the durability of his little brother.
    It was nothing serious, but just enough to send the little spawn of Satan-er-I mean, boy, into a fit of screams and squalls.
    I hate little kids.
    They bring out the worst in me. It's hard to believe I ever was one. How their mother can make it through each day without wringing the life right out of them is beyond me.
    And how Cathy can make them as tame as kittens is a superhuman feat.
    You see she's their normal babysitter, but she had to step out for a moment, that's why I'm here. I have no clue where she went, no clue why she went, but she went and left me here, all by myself, with these demonic children.
    I swear, right now, that I shall NEVER have kids. Ever!
    "Hilly!!"
    "It's Hilde," I growled threateningly, clenching my teeth as to not let any colorful language slip out.
    "Hill~y!!" I threw my hands up in defeat. I was getting no where and arriving earlier than expected.
    "She bit me! Make her be sorry!" Can't they keep their hands to themselves?! I can't handle all of them at once!
    "Hilly?!"
    "Miss Hidey?" How hard is it to say "Hilde"?? It's not like it's the most complicated name there is!
    "Miss Hidey, David is pulling on Noah's ears!"
    "Am not! You're a tattle-tale!"
    Must
    "Miss Hidey! He called me a tattle-tale!"
    Not
    "See! See!"
    Kill.
    "Miss Hidey!!" One, two, three, four, fi- aw, screw it!
    "ENOUGH!!!! SHUT UP!!!" I could feel my blood pulsing in my eardrums, which is never a good thing, mind you. But my explosion apparently did SOME good, because that entire apartment was hush still.
    Well kinda.
    "David, I think you broke her," whispered the little girl to her brother.
    Both of their faces looked so shocked it was priceless.
    Point, for me.
    "Uh-uh! You did," he hissed back.
    As I was beginning to feel the blood flow in my cheeks start to drop down to normal, there came a gentle \tap, tap\ through the shut door.
    Both kids and baby perked up to the sound, eyes wide with anticipation.
    The aforementioned saint herself entered to my rescue, and bringing reinforcements, might I add.
    Oh wait, nevermind. I wouldn't count the other one as Calvary.
    Cathy stood in the light of the open doorway with Relena peering past her shoulder.
    Note I didn't say over. Neither of us is near tall enough to perform that trick.
    "Cathy!! Cathy, you SAVED us!!" Little David made a mad dash for her outstretched arms, nearly knocking her down.
    She wrapped him up in a hug and smiled down at him sweetly, like he was the most wonderful little angel heaven had ever seen.
    I felt my stomach wrench and I had to turn away from the rather disgusting scene.
    Equally revolted, Relena squeezed past the couple and made her way over to me, being extraordinarily careful as to not step on a toy carelessly discarded to the floor.
    "He broke Miss Hidey!!" Nearly taking Relena out, though a very humorous scene it would make, the girl blundered over to Cathy and her brother, tears brimming in her little eyes.
    As soon as she caught her balance again, Relena arched an eyebrow in my direction and smirked a smirk she'd only smirk if she were about to become a major pain in the ass.
    Which is not a hard thing to do on her part, but that makes no difference. I was not in the mood.
    "Don't even think about it." My tone was rather deadly, which was just perfect to keep her trap shut for a while.
    I sauntered over to the family's couch in order to lay down, rest, and bask in my tiny victory. I collapsed onto the wonderfully soft cousins, you know, the kind you can just sink into, propped my feet up on one armrest and cradled my neck with the other.
    Aaaa, heavenly.
    This earned me a disapproving glower from Relena.
    That was just icing on the cake. Now if only those little kids would just disappear, things would be perfect!
    Of course, I should have known better than to think it would actually last for more than five minutes.
    "Hilde!" It never fails. As soon as I get comfortable, somebody wants something.
    I craned my neck till my field of vision was no longer the crack filled ceiling but now the upside-down Chinese figure of Ron Meiran.
    She looked frighteningly pale.
    "What?" She took a second to compose herself and straighten out any wrinkles she had in her clothes. I don't know why, but she's always got to be so damn perfect.
    I don't get it.
    "Meiran, you're looking a bit on the pale side. How long has it been since you've fed?"
    She shot me a look that told me it was a tender subject in which I tread. Apparently, it had been awhile. I'd be certain to fix that once night fell.
    "That's not it."
    "Well, are you going to tell me or should I guess? Let's see, you walked in on Zechs and Noin, is that it? Now I can see why you look so frazzled!"
    "Hilde!" I strained my eyes to my left, the direction in which the unnerving screech had come from. Relena's eye was twitching, which is her involuntary reaction to the bringing up that particular subject about her brother.
    Not that I blame her, or anything. I sure as hell wouldn't want to picture my brother and his girlfriend like that.
    She must have walked in on some pretty awful things to attain that nice little twitch of hers.
    "No that is not it! Can't you be serious for once?" I just grinned at the upside-down pig tailed girl, knowing full well that it'd just piss her off. "Come on," she grumbled in frustration, turning away to wait for me to haul my tired ass off the ever-so comfortable couch.
    My, I was just getting on everybody's nerves today! Mission accomplished.
    Very reluctantly, very VERY reluctantly, I relieved the couch of my weight and headed for the door, dragging my feet all the way.
    Lemme say one thing. That couch of theirs is addictive.
    I need one.
    As I was innocently waving "good bye" to now child bound Cathy, I was caught unawares by a high pitched and somewhat whiney request.
    "Wait for me!" I pretended not to hear her, rather hard to pull off, mind you. Let's see you try to not wince or cringe at Relena's voice. It's next to impossible I tell you!
    I didn't have to travel far to get to where Meiran had wondered off to, not far at all. Just a couple doors down actually to where she was standing. All I saw was Duo and Sally each packing a box into a room that, for all I knew, had been empty for months. I couldn't help myself. I called Duo's name to get his attention and smiled brightly like a complete idiot.
    What can I say? I love him. I was finally satisfied when he grinned and winked at me.
    Man, if I could just erase the whole little kid incident, this day would be just perfect.
    "If you are quite done." I was brought back to the land of the living by Meiran's slightly irritated growl.
    "Yes, yes. Now, what IS it?" I heard Relena finally catch up with us, and she wasn't alone. Cathy had joined us, being the curious type she is. I turned to her and asked, "Don't you have a couple of wild Indians to look after?"
    "They're asleep." She responded simply. Damn it, some people get all the luck.
    "Look there." Meiran jerked her thumb in the direction I had spotted Duo. But Duo wasn't there anymore, neither was Sally. It was someone new, someone I had never seen before.
    "That must be the new tenant I heard about. What IS he wearing?" Cathy wasn't the only one boggled by the stranger's odd apparel.
    In fact, I think Meiran was the only one who didn't squint or wrinkle her nose at the rather "different" sight.
    It was a rather tall wiry framed boy with moppy dark brown hair, and cold blue eyes.
    Creepy if you ask me. But of course I didn't heed that normally useful hunch and was busily wondering if he was well in the head due to his, um fashion statement.
    He wore a loose hunter green tank top which I normally don't find to be too out of the ordinary, but he wore his top tucked into a pair of sleek black spandex shorts.
    Pardon me, but one normally doesn't find that entourage. Last person I saw in spandex was Batman, and this sure as hell WASN'T Batman.
    He turned his head to look at us, and to tell ya the truth, I half expected his head to keep going around and around, you know cheap horror flick stuff. I really don't know if that would have scared me or not. I probably would have grinned then shouted "Cool!" or something, then insist he teach me how to do it. I've seen too many bad movies.
    But, as you can see, it's hard to scare me, because I have seen and felt the worst of the worst. I am a vampire, after all. But all of that was nothing compared to what I felt when his eyes locked with mine. A cold, eerie, sensation creeped down the nape of my neck and over my shoulders, leaving a ghostly trail of tingles in its wake. Lemme just say this now, bleh!
    "That's a vampire." I hissed in order to keep those words between my friends and I.
    No need and announcing to him that I knew exactly what he was just yet.
    "A Bloodist." Meiran confirmed, hushing her own voice to match mine.
    I hadn't been too sure about that part at first, but I did notice a rather familiar pitch in his energy aura.
    But if course Meiran had spotted that detail right off the bat, and for good reason, too. You see she's the only Bloodist in our kiss. And I'm sure you're smart enough to figure out what exactly the vampiric term "Bloodist" means, it's not that hard.
    "But how can you tell?"
    "Cathy, a vampire can just tell when it comes to that. Even a normal vampire without psychic powers can read that much into things," Relena bit out, not even bothering to hide the bitterness in her voice.
    "So that means, he knows you guys are-" Cathy was cut off by her own gasp when the stranger narrowed his eyes and bared his teeth at us, his pearly white fangs shining through beautifully.
    "Does that answer your question?"
    I decided right then and there that I wasn't exactly fond of him.
    First of all, just the way he came across creeped me out.
    Second, he insisted on edging that sentiment further by bearing his fangs.
    And on top of that he had to be a nutcase if he casually wore spandex.
    I mean, even Batman wore normal clothes sometimes!
    I reached behind me and grabbed hold of a fistful of blonde Relena hair, and yanked till I had pulled her face between Meiran and I.
    "Alright, you're the complete psychic freak, please inform us inferiors what the hell is going through this boy's head."
    Hey, I might be classified as a Psychic-vampire, and I'm able to psychically drain others, but that doesn't mean I can poke around in peoples minds and read their thoughts.
    But now, Relena can, and that's about the only thing she's good for.
    Yet another thing frightened me, which makes two in less than five minutes.
    Not good.
    Relena's face paled over like her blood had just drained away. Surely, she couldn't have poked upon anything too serious, right?
    Wrong!
    "He's a hunter," she whispered, her complexion still unnatural.
    "What do you mean a hunter? You just called him a vampire!"
    "He's both. He hunts others of his own kind to prove his superiority in the ultimate ego trip. In other words, I'll bet he's one haughty S.O.B."
    My suspicions were confirmed when I found him pointing us with his index finger and thumb out, his other three fingers curled up to resemble a hand gun. His palm simulated the kick of a gun after firing and he brought his hand up till the only things in his line of fire were the ceiling tiles.