Darren Kenookami: It's late at night, I'm thinking up things at the top of my head.
Naruto's surprise.
In a large, well known bar in the leaf village. The rookie twelve were sitting in said lively bar. All of them looked a little depressed and annoyed.
Well except for Naruto. Who looked perfectly calm.
All of a sudden. Ino slammed her cup down on the table large enough to fit all twelve of them.
"I'm tired of being a virgin!" she spat the last word out. "but don't get any ideas guys I wouldn't do any of you. No offense." after a number of disgruntled "non-taken"s from all the boys at the table but Naruto. Who again looked perfectly calm as he sipped his beer.
"Me too. I'm also tired of listening about Kakashi's "sex adventures"." said Sakura said with a choras of "here here"s from all, but Naruto.
"Yeah but you guys are chicks. You can just show your crotch to anyone and you'd get laid." said Kiba with his head on the table top. His answer was glares from the girls and sagely nods from the boys, except Naruto.
"Sexist dog." Tenten said with venom evident in her voice.
"He has a point though." said Shikamaru.
"I don't care if he does have a point. None of us will ever do such a thing." said Sakura with her arms crossed.
"Besides theres no good guys in here but Naruto." said Sasuke which caused Naruto to scoot his chair further away from him, still wearing the same expression.
"Sasuke, don't they have bars meant specifically for gay people?" asked Neji.
"Yeah, I think they're called GAY bars." Shino said sarcastically.
"We're straying off subject here." Choji said munching on his chips.
"YES, we were on the subject of getting laid on youthful terms." Rock lee chipped in.
"Hey Hinata you've been quiet the whole time. What do you think." Tenten said as all attention was turned to Hinata. All but Naruto's.
"W-w-well um... I really don't mind staying a virgin. I-i-I'm saving myself for one person." said Hinata sneaking a glance at Naruto who again looked totally unaffected. Again the attention was turned to a specific spot. Naruto.
"Yo Naruto, you've been very quiet over there. Something wrong?" Shikamaru asked.
"No i'm fine." he replied.
"You sure? Your acting very strange." Ino said.
"Yeah, usually you'd be the first to complain in this situation." Choji said with an eyebrow raised.
"Yeah I'm sure. Unlike you guys, I don't have any problems like this. I can actually relate to Kakashi's stories." Naruto said as he took another beer, opened it and chugged it like a pro. This caused them to gape at the statement. Then they regained their composure.
"Uh hu. Sure you aren't Naruto." Kiba said sarcastically.
"I'm serious. I can get any girl I want to if I tried." he replied.
"Prove it." Neji challenged.
"OK. You know Tayuya?" Naruto asked out of the blue.
"Yes the pretty redhead with a feisty mouth." Lee said with a slight blush. Naruto flipped out his cell phone and went to his phone book and entered a number named Tayuya. He put his phone up to his ear and waited. After a little he started to talk. "Hey Tayuya how have you been?- Really?- and they're all jerks?- right well I'm open for tonight.- yeah- at the- oh you're here?- I'm at table six with the rest of the rookie twelve.- OK- bye." Naruto said as he flipped his cell down and stood up and stretched. "Well guys I'm gonna go get laid you four want to come?" he asked pointing to the girls of the group.
"No way." Ino said snuffing up her nose.
"As if." Tenten said.
"NO! You're probably just making it up." Sakura yelled.
"Umm... I would like to go." Hinata said withdrawing her head, blushing and raising her hand. The others stared at her in disbelief.
Naruto smiled. "Thanks Hinata, I'll be sure to be gentle."
Tayuya came out of the crowd panting a little. "Sorry, had to(gasp) fix my make up." and indeed Tayuya looked even more radiant than usual. She caught her breath and turned the other girls. "Are they coming too? Cause I know for a fact that I couldn't keep up with him on my own." she said.
"Only Hinata." Naruto said as he took Hinata's hand in a gesture of politeness. "Well see you later." he said to the rest of the table before he, Hinata and Tayuya began to leave the bar. The girls hurriedly stood from their chairs and started to cut the crowd as fast as they could to catch up with them.
The reactions on the rest of the boys faces were wide eyes and gaping mouths. All but Sasuke who was ripping the napkins to shreds in anger.
A week later, Tsunade announced Naruto's heritage to the whole village and then revealed that he was to gain a harem, via the clan restoration act. Needless to say, Tayuya, Hinata, Sakura, Ino, and Tenten, were among the girls who fought for the right to be his wives. The leaf village never slept on Saturdays.
Fin.
Darren Kenookami: well that was fun. Yes I know Tayuya dies. Just go along with it. The Saturdays comment was a joke like the rest of this thing. They're all eighteen except Tayuya who is two years older than Naruto. Don't like me making sasuke gay? Well FUCK OFF! Love ya bye.