BE MY GUEST
Since I already had an anti-Twilight song set to "Gaston", I figured why not do another BatB song in a similar fashion? Unlike the first song, I wrote this one entirely on my own, without any help from anybody.
It was fairly easy to write, and a whole lot of fun! It all comes together very nicely.
Out of all the AT songs I've done so far, I'd have to say this one's my all-time favorite. Howard Ashman, eat your heart out.
Original Song © Howard Ashman and Alan Menken
Twilight © Stephenie Meyer (because it is technically her property)
Lyrics © unicorn-skydancer08
All rights reserved.
Be…my…guest!
Be my guest
Put my patience to the test
You can read most any book you want
Whatever you like best
Mysteries, fantasies
You do anything you please
But no Twilight, it's misleading
Don't believe me? Ask Stephen King!
It's a sham, it's a ruse
Miss Meyer is all confused
And nobody in their right mind is impressed
Go on, play your own game
And let me do the same
You'll be my guest
Oui, my guest
Be my guest!
Twilight ain't really quaint
It would make Shakespeare faint
Yet, for some weird reason,
The author's regarded as a saint
Be wary, be afraid
Be sure to run far away
It's all most excruciating
No worse form of entertaining
It's a joke, it's a trick
It's enough to make one sick
To be frank, it's not even the thousandth best
How long will this spree last?
Well, you've got a free pass
To be my guest
If you're stressed,
It's therapy I suggest
Be my guest!
Be my guest!
Be my guest!
Life is really crazy
When you're in a Twilight frenzy
Fans aren't whole
Without a soul to fawn upon
Ah, those good old days when books were useful
Suddenly, those good old days are gone
For years, we've been fighting
To explain the rules of writing
Needing discipline
A chance for show and skill
Nowadays, books are slapdash and shoddy
Writers have gone wayward
No thanks to Bella, Jake, and Edward
It's a pest
It's a jest
Miss Meyer, you've passed the test
Fan girls gab
And jab and stab
Will no one give this thing a rest?
If that's your cup of tea,
Well, my dear, that's fine with me
But I don't care to hear you twitter
About how vampires gleam and glitter
Timeless love? I think not!
Bella Swann is such a snot
Edward fails
And Jacob never clothes his chest
If that's the stuff you read,
If you feel the true need,
Well, be my guest (be my guest)
Be my guest (be my guest)
Be my guest
Be my guest
Countless others are obsessed
I won't tell you how to live your life
You're not under arrest
But if you think yourself smart
You'll take these wise words to heart
There are some books not worth reading
Some dreams were not meant for dreaming
For dreaming!
Everywhere,
Twilight's there
Enough's enough
Hardly anything makes me feel more depressed
I'll always rue the day
When Twilight came my way
Well, be my guest
Be my guest
Be my guest…
Just be my guest!