My Favorite Mistake

Summary: I didn't mean to fall in love with him. Actually, I figured that was the last thing that would ever happen, but it became my favorite mistake.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Italics - Remus

Bold - Lily

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Can anyone really say they have never made a mistake? Or can someone say that they have not even one regret in life? If that was true, then everything in life would have had to be perfect for them, everything had to have gone how they wanted it. I highly doubt that.

No ones life is perfect. Things happen, people change, and you have to deal with it. We all as human beings, make mistakes, and do things we later on realize we wish we hadn't. I know that this is going to sound completely and utterly strange. I mean the whole concept is completely bloody insane. But is it possible to have a favorite?

I asked my friend, Remus once. He is apart of this group called the Marauders, along with Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and that bigheaded prat known as James Potter.

We had been sitting in Transfiguration one day. McGonagall was trying to teach us to turn a book into a cat, though not many got the hand of it. I was sitting next to Remus, and we were two of the four that had properly managed to get the transfiguration done correctly, Sirius and James being the other two, and since I had grown bored, of course my mind began to wonder.

Then I asked him, "Remus is it possible to have a favorite mistake?"

Remus regarded me strangely for a few moments, putting aside his potions essay that was due next class. "I'm not sure. I mean mistakes are usually something you wish that you had done differently Lils, so I don't know. I mean, maybe you could. What brought this on?"

I smiled softly at him, then replied, "Nothing really, you know how my mind gets once I let it wonder for a bit." He chuckled softly, and returned to writing his essay. I glanced around the room, trying to figure out why my mind had wondered to that, and unconsciously, my eyes lingered on a certain black-haired, annoying, bigheaded prat.

I didn't really think about mistakes or regrets again for awhile, that was until Remus made James and I get along. You see, I was ok with all the members of their little group, but him. Begrudgingly, I spent the whole day with him, since we had no classes, and I saw a different side to him.

It's weird. You think you know someone by the way they act, then when you spend a little time with them, they turn out to be completely different then what you at first thought. James was like that. Soon I found myself spending more and more time with the Marauders, since James and I didn't "hate" each other anymore.

I wonder now looking back, if it was all really worth it, if then I had made a mistake in getting to know him.

Eventually, towards the middle of the school year, I started to have this feeling at the pit of my stomach every time he was around me, but I couldn't explain it. I didn't talk to Remus or Sirius about it, or any of my other friends, I just figured it was nerves. Then the worst happened.

I was sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room, working on my Ancient Runes project with Remus, and Sirius was sitting across from us, reading a quidditch magazine, when James bounded in through the portrait hole. He had a weird grin on his face.

I mean he is ALLOWED to smile, but that type should be against the law. They should put people in Azkaban for being so bloody smiley and happy. That's how bad it was.

Anyways, he sat down beside Sirius, and the three of us looked at him like he had grown a second head. Finally after a few moments, he noticed our staring.

"What?" he asked, as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"You're smiling," I stated.

"Smiling a really big smile," Remus added, "It's a bit weird."

"If you smiled any harder, your lips would permanently stay like that," Sirius said, then paused, and asked, "Alright, so who did you shag this time?"

James threw a pillow at him for that, hitting him square in the face. "I didn't shag anyone," James stated, glaring at Sirius, "I have a girlfriend."

We were all quiet for a moment. James' girlfriends usually lasted about a week. All of us thinking the same thing, we burst out laughing. James threw glares at everyone of us. Once we quieted down, Remus asked, "So how's the lucky girl this time?"

"Narcissa Black," James bluntly said, staring at Sirius.

"My cousin?!" Sirius half shouted. James just nodded. Sirius gave him a disgusted look.

"I really like her guys," he spoke, "I think that she just might be it."

He didn't stay around long enough for us to ask what "it" meant. I really didn't like it, I mean I REALLY, REALLY didn't like it, but I had yet to find out why. And thus began the Narcissa stage of Hogwarts.

She was a Ravenclaw, with blonde hair, and blue eyes. She'd walked over to the Gryffindor table, and set herself down upon James's lap every single day. And every single day, I would glare at her when she was not looking. I had no idea why of course, and I figured no one else did either, but alas, I was wrong. Very perceptive Remus saw my glares, and asked me about it, as James and Little Miss Blondie were nearing their second week.

"Lily?" Remus whispered. I turned my attention from Professor Binns, the History of Magic teacher, to him. He showed my a piece of paper in his hands, and I nodded. He passed it to me, and I unfolded it, shock written all over my face as I red what it said.

You fancy James don't you?

No

After I scribbled down the word, I threw it at him. I wanted it to hit him hard, but sadly for me, he caught it, and shook his head at what I had written

Don't deny it Lily. I can SEE the glares you give Narcissa

I am not denying anything, and I don't glare at Narcissa. Well, ok, maybe I glare at her a little, but it's not a full out, stay-the-hell-away-from-me-before-I-kick-your-arse glare, just an I-hate-you-because-you're-annoying one

I seriously think you have issues, but we can discuss that at another time. Just fess up an admit you fancy James

I do NOT, I repeat do NOT fancy that insufferable git

Yes, you do

No, I don't

Whatever you say Lily

You seriously think I fancy him

Yes, and I think you might be in love with him

are you daft?

no, your just stubborn

I am not

just don't wait too long to tell him Lils

there's nothing to tell

just make sure you think before you act, because you might make a very big mistake

I stuffed the note in my book, as the class ended, but could not put Remus's words out of my head. Did I really fancy James, let alone be in love with him? I shook my head at the foolishness of the thought. I, Lily Evans in love with James Potter? Hah!

Then why did I have that thing at the pit of my stomach every time I was around him? And why did I glare so constantly at Narcissa? And why did Remus's words effect me so much? I suppose that's when it hit me.

Normally when people realize what stupid gits they have been, they realize it in a sweet romantic way, like the way in most stories. Not me though. I realized it by pondering the spoken and unspoken words and thoughts up in my Head girl's room.

The reason why I felt things in my stomach, why I glared at the little blonde Barbie, and the reason why Remus's words effected me so was because he was right, I was in love with James, I had just been too stupid to acknowledge it before.

I wanted to yell, say how it had to be a mistake. But I knew deep down it wasn't. I was in love, and I had lost him to the blonde tart of Ravenclaw. I didn't know what to do at that point, when the rest of the conversation with Remus replayed in my head.

"Just make sure you think before you act, because you might make a very big mistake."

Almost immediately I knew what to do. I had to tell him. He had to know. I ran out of my dormitory, and headed down into the Common Room. James was sitting on one of the couches, doing what appeared to be homework.

I froze. the determination that had once been there was now gone, and I couldn't face him. I dashed back up the stairs, and shut the door behind me. I sank down into my bed, all my thoughts surrounding James. How he used to ask me out every year, when he stopped, when he and I became enemies, when we became friends, and when he told us that Narcissa could be "it".

I also recounted the short conversation I had much earlier in the year with Remus about regrets and mistakes. Ironic how every conversation that effected me had something to do with Remus, but then again, he was my best friend.

I knew then that if I didn't do something about these feelings of mine, James would become my favorite mistake, and deepest regret. So standing up again, made my way back down the Common Room, much slower this time.

James was still sitting, and doing exactly what he had been before when I walked down there the first time. He didn't notice my presence for awhile, and I just stared at him. After what seemed like an eternality, I coughed loud enough to grab his attention, and he smiled at me, putting his work down.

"Hey Lily," he said.

"Hey James," I replied. I paused for a moment, knowing I had to do this, then asked, "Can I talk to you about something?"

"No, this really isn't the best time," he replied. For the first time I noticed his hazel eyes lacked the shine they normal held.

"Um, alright," I said. As I turned to go back upstairs, I heard him sigh, then call me back. I turned back around.

"I'm sorry Lily," he said, "Of course we can talk. It's just that Narcissa and I broke up, and I suppose I'm not that happy at the moment."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, sitting down beside him.

"No, not really," he said, "So what did you want to talk about."

"Well, um, okay just promise me something before I start," I said.

"Alright, what?" he asked.

"Promise me you won't say anything until I'm finished," I replied. He nodded, and I took a deep breath.

"I am smart, but there are some things I can be very dense about. I mean, even Remus knew before I did," I started, standing up I began pacing around the room.

"In a sense, this is all Remus's fault. I mean, he talked to me about it, and caused me to think. I didn't want it to be true, James. I denied it for a long time, and I can not any longer. I didn't realize that there was a reason that I glared and disliked Narcissa so much, that that same reason applied to the thing in my stomach I would get every time you were near me. I didn't think about it, because I don't think I wanted to. We weren't even supposed to be friends, James. I was supposed to hate you, loathe, everything but the actually truth of it," I stated.

"What exactly are you saying, Lily?" James asked me after I didn't speak for a few moments. My back was turned to him, and I could feel the tears forming behind my eyes. I hated crying, and I didn't want to now, but I couldn't control it. I faced him, and looked him straight in the eyes.

"You've become my favorite mistake, James," I stated, "The mistake being that I'm in love with you."

James didn't say anything at first, and I got scared. Part of me knew he couldn't return my feelings, even though he had liked me that way once before. It just seemed impossible now. I heard a soft chuckling, and I looked up. James was laughing. He was actually laughing. My eyes widened in surprise.

He must have noticed my anger by then, because he stopped laughing abruptly, and waved his hands. "No," he said, "I wasn't laughing at you,. I was laughing at the irony of the situation."

"The irony of exactly what situation?" I asked, still not comprehending what was so funny.

He walked over to me, and took my hands. "Don't you see?" he asked, "That's why Narcissa broke up with me."

"What?"

"She broke up with me because she knew I loved someone else, and I was angry before because I knew she was right," James explained. I looked at him a second, then my eyes were filled with shock at the realization of what he was saying.

He pulled me to him, his arms going around my waist, and he brought his head down so that it was even with mine. He looked into my eyes, silently asking me if it was okay, and I took the opportunity to close the gap between us.

I felt like I was floating on air. Chills went up my spine, and it felt like I was on fire. I smiled against his mouth, and knew that this was where I wanted to be.

Due to the lack of oxygen, we pulled away, and I looked into his hazel eyes again. The spark that had been missing a few minutes before.

"I love you Evans," James said, a smirk present upon his face.

"You're my favorite mistake, Potter," I replied simply.

James just laughed at my response, though understanding what I meant, and pulled me into another kiss.

xxx

Author's Note - Alright, so this was just a tiny bit of fluff for you guys. Hope you all enjoyed it, and check out some of my newer one-shots. For those of you reading my H/Hr story: Unyielding Love, the next chapter is almost done and will be up very soon. Please review, because I really appreciate the response.