I sat across from Jimmy Deans, the nastiest and meanest boy in the sixth grade. Jimmy turned his face to the left so he could look at me. I stared back at him in expectance. He looked like he was about to say something then he shrugged, dug his nose and ate it.

I felt myself gagging. That nasty son of a --.

I tore out a leaf from my purple binder book and scribbled to my friend, Edward Cullen.

Yo dandruff guy! I agree with you officially now. Jimmy Deans is the most disgusting guy ever; he just picked his nose like he was having a fucking party in there + ate it!!!!!!!!!! Right now he's playing with his spit. I can't believe Ms. Abrams moved me from you to put me at the back here. I'm stuck with retards. Cootie Carrie, Prissy Priscilla and captain fucktard himself (Jimmy). How're you doing up there? Did Ms. Abrams pass wind after 10? Sam said she used to. Directly at 10: 15! ha! I don't believe that! But, she seems genuinely happy to be in your seat, Sam is. I need a saviour.

B.S.

Do you know B.S. stands for Bull Shit, Bella? And stop calling me dandruff guy... I have never had dandruff and you know it! Jealous bitch. How can you NOW officially believe that Jimmy Deans is an asshole? And I am so sorry you're having a tough time at the back of the class (what's new?). Yeah right, as if! And Ms. Abrams is lovely. She always breaks her chalk and has to pick it up. No gas there. I don't know what Sam was talking about. It must be herself she was smelling. Anyway, stop it with curse words. It's painful to see how much like me you're getting. Fuck out ranger.

E.C.

The cafeteria was crowded with its usual hype. I sat with Edward playing nintendo.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"How do you beat the lady with the stick?"

"Err... take away her stick, it turns her into an old hag and then you press the L button to spit on her. Spit totally destroys hags."

"Oh? I wonder..."

"Hmm?" I said my eyes trained on my Pokemon game.

"If it'll work on you..."

I looked up at him, his expression was so innocent, he was playing his DS intently with a careful nonchalance. I narrowed my eyes and ground my teeth putting away my game. He looked up suddenly his expression amused.

"Are you okay Bella love?" He cooed in a sickly sweet baby voice. My teeth grew on edge and I spoke very slowly.

"What. Did. You. Say?" I demanded, smoke coming out in poofs of clouds at my ears and nostrils.

"Er... nothing?" Nervous, ey?

I shrugged and acted like I was recollecting myself, "Oh so you didn't call me a hag?"

He shook his head looking at me like I was a crazy person.

"Oh, good. I thought... Something must be wrong with me."

He laughed and resumed 'Sugarland Grannies', the game my step-dad had made. His project had been turned down though because the people at R.C.A (Reynold's Creative Arts) had thought it too dark and at the same time seriously amateur and disturbing. Hells! It was a brilliant game and lots of the kids in school loved to rent it out. Now, Edward was addicted to it and I just loved taking his money. Ah, life.

I eyed him carefully as he laughed again to himself and muttered 'seriously' under his breath but I knew that he knew I could hear him.

I got up fast as lightning and punched his bony arm. He winced and almost dropped his game.

"MOSES! What the hell was that?" He exclaimed rubbing his arm and screwing up his eyes.

My knuckles hurt but I wasn't going to squirm about it in front of him.

I picked up my tin of Dr. Pepper from the table and pulled on the bendy straw but all the while enjoying the cooling relief the cold and condensation from the liquid gave my right fist.

After a sip I smiled refreshed, "Ah! HAHA! That's for calling me a hag."

His hand was still massaging the arm underneath the long sleeved jersey.

"Gosh. You messed up my pecks."

I snorted and then stopped short as I saw him grabbing his messenger bag and swing it over his body.

"I was kidding around." I stared.

"You kid hard. I don't want to play with you anymore. HEY STEVE! YOU GOING OUT?"

I stared at him still and Steve shouted yes over the noise of the cafe. He told him to wait and as he passed me he paused a little to say, "I'm kidding too, Bells. Stop hyperventillating. Though I guess it may be hard to lose a friend when it's your only friend. Not that I would know how it feels to be a social reject."

I pulled a middle finger out and he pointed to his heart and mouthed, 'it hits me right here.'

Then he started hauling back something in his throat. It sounded really horrible.

"Oh God Bella. Move! I feel a spit ball coming! Mm- a HUGE one! Bella! MOVE!!! I mean it!"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head slowly as he retreated backwardly just as slowly. He still looked like he was lurching.

"Fuck you, Edward," I said in a soft, calm voice, "fuck you."

He threw his arms open and grinned widely, "Now, that's what I'm talking about."

He spun around to meet Steve and I sat down to my horrendous self with absolutely noone to bother me every 5 minutes about how to kill something in my game. Boring.

I knew exactly where Edward was going. He was going to baseball 'practice' down the road at the town's diamond cut field. Girls, who hardly had the right to call themselves that, paraded that field in mini skirts and tight fitted denim jackets.

Since Edward had hit the terrible tens he no longer thought girls were demons with bad breath and ugly triangular assets but as pink, talking (well not so much the talking), walking, hot and ready water balloons waiting in abundance for him.

He wasn't so far off. The girls here in Forks Elementary were bubble-gum-chewing-air-heads who threw a hissy fit if they had a zit on their noses' and they all revolved around the most popular boy in school. My social opposite and best friend, Edward Cullen.