Title: The Pub on the Edge of Forever
Series: X and Tokyo Babylon, plus crossovers
Rating: PG for now I think.
Genre: Humor
Disclaimer: X is not mine, it's Clamp's, Tokyo Babylon is not mine, it's Clamp's, Doctor McCoy and the Redshirts are not mine, they belong to Paramount, Rachel Summers belongs to Marvel (even though they've abused her terribly), Galadriel and Sam belong to the estate of J.R.R. Tolkien, Treize is from Gundam Wing and belongs to the series' creators, Arthur and Ford belong to the late Douglas Adams, the thirties pulp villains belong to their respective writers, The Pub, Dee/Chaya, and Lissa all belong to me. No poaching. Congrats if you can actually find Treize and Galadriel.
Summary: When Seishirou dies he is taken by Shinigami (who prefers to go by Dee) to the Pub on the Edge of Forever, resting place of all dead fictional characters. Things rapidly spiral out of control from there.
The Pub on the Edge of Forever
Chapter One: Hokuto Loses her Temper
Tiamat's Child
Blackness came and reigned for a second or two. Soft lips brushed against his forehead, waking him up again. He opened his eyes, hoping to see Subaru leaning over him. What he saw instead was a fine featured, feminine face, framed by long black hair.
"Who are you?" He forced his voice to stay even, despite his surprise and confusion.
"You don't recognize me?" She had a lovely voice, soft and yet sharp, like the sound of a crystal bell. "After all those you've entrusted to my care?" She stood up, allowing him a full view of her. "Why Seishirou, I'm hurt!"
She was altogether beautiful. Long lashes shaded her dark eyes, and her dark hair, not truly black he could now see, fell to her knees. Her alabaster skin looked even paler next to her formal black kimono and immense dark wings. Wings? Yes, wings, six wide wings that seemed to fill the sky and contain all the shadows of all the dark places in this world. And when he saw her he knew her.
"Shinigami!" She smiled and tossed her head.
"You could call me that, yes. But I generally prefer Dee."
"Dee?" He raised an incredulous eyebrow. She sighed deeply, a "Why me?" expression briefly crossing her face.
"Yes, Dee. Is there a problem with that?" Her voice was sweet, but her expression told him that there had better not be a problem.
"Ahhh...No."
"Good." She smiled at him and tugged firmly at her kimono, smoothing out a nonexistent wrinkle, "You probably have questions. I'll answer them as we walk." The two set off on a dark path that led through a bland, misty nothing. Dee walked in front, carrying a lantern and singing under her breath in a language Seishirou did not know. Seishirou followed, pondering his questions as he walked. He knew he needed to be careful what he said, he did not like the thought of revealing more of himself to this woman then necessary.
"What is this place?" There. That was a good question to start with, it was safely neutral.
"Why don't you ask the question you really want to know the answer to?" He suppressed the urge to scowl at the smile in her voice and said,
"Answer the question I asked." She laughed at him, and when she spoke the amusement in her voice was nearly unbearable.
"You are dead Seishirou. Why do you keep playing these games of yours? What can you possibly gain? There is no more need for masks." He was about to politely tell her to mind her own business, but she kept talking. "But I'll play along and answer your question anyway. We walk the Dark Paths that lead between the worlds. They do not lie in the material universes, or in the realms of the imagination, or in Heaven, or in Hell, but somewhere in-between all of them. These are the passages all souls must walk at some point in their existence. They were not here in The Beginning, for there was no need for them. No one but The One Who Is knows when they came into being. That answer your question?"
"Yes, thank you."
"Then ask your important question." He glared at the small of her back. It had been a long time since he had met someone so irritating. She did have a point though, so he gave in and asked the question that was foremost in his mind.
"Is Subaru following?" That hadn't really come out right, but she seemed to understand what he was asking.
"Not for a while yet. He'll try, but Kaumi won't let him, and after that...well...Hokuto wanted him to live and he won't actively go against her wish."
"How long is a while?"
"I don't know. He is very angry with himself for harming you, he is frightened by the pull of the Sakura, and he is still a dragon. He might stop eating and sleeping in a sort of passive suicide, or there is always the possibility he might be killed in battle." She turned and faced him briefly, her immense dark eyes swirling with more emotions then Seishirou could recognize. Her voice was soft and earnest. "I cannot see the future. I know little more then you about Subaru's fate. I only know that he is not coming immediately." She turned back around and began to walk again, leaving Seishirou alone with his thoughts. Neither spoke for quite a long time.
At last the mist began to swirl away from a simple stone building sitting in the blackness. A sign over the door proclaimed it to be "The Pub on the Edge of Forever". It did indeed look like an old English pub. Dee's pace picked up a little, forcing Seishirou to lengthen his strides.
"Here we are!" The angel caroled, "This is the place I've been taking you to."
Seishirou raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "A pub. I'm going to spend the rest of eternity in a pub?"
"Yep!"
"Sounds good to me. Shall we go in?"
"Of course." Dee stepped forward, shoved open the door, and stepped through.
The first thing Seishirou noticed was kaleidoscopic nature of the people. In the center of the room there was a large table of men in red shirts grumbling about scriptwriters. In a corner a large circle of dodgy looking men in black capes sat bemoaning the stupidity of henchmen. A tall, elegantly beautiful woman was talking with an equally elegant man about battle tactics somewhere near the door. And those were just the normal ones!
Seishirou didn't really have time to time to recover from the shock before they were noticed. All of the room's occupants began to talk at once. Seishirou decided to stand still and hope he looked suave instead of bewildered.
"Dee! Hey lass, How ya been?"
"Lady Dee! It *is* good to see you!"
"Hey Dee! Lissa's been taking cooking lessons from Sam, do you think they'll do any good?"
"Oh, Lissa! Dee's here! And she brought someone new!"
"So, are you one of Clamp's?" It took Seishirou a moment to realize he was the one being addressed.
"Ah..."
"Thought so." The buxom redhead in the skintight leather suit nodded. "You can always tell. It's the shell shocked look. I'm Rachel Summers, the Phoenix. You?"
"Seishirou Sakurazuka."
"Dee-Chan!" A high pitched voice let out a delighted squeal as its owner burst from a pair of double doors at the back of the room and hurled herself at Dee. The angel let out a gasp of escaping breath as Sumeragi Hokuto glomped her.
The redhead named Rachel smirked. "Talk to you later." She disappeared into the crowd, her high heels clicking against the floor.
The swinging doors opened again in Hokuto's wake and another pair of people followed her out. She failed to notice, as she was admiring Dee's kimono and making suggestions for its improvement that seemed to involve a lot of ribbons and ruffles. The two new arrivals were an extremely mismatched pair, a young woman and a man several years older. Neither was human. The man was about three and a half feet tall, with a good natured face and curly dark hair. The other was another angel, a girl with long bright purple hair and fuchsia wings, though she had only two to Dee's six. Seishirou thought he recognized Hokuto's hand in the electric blue minidress she wore.
"I just can't seem to get the hang of it Sam!" The angel lamented as she shook flour out of her long hair.
"Don't worry Miss Lissa, we'll make a chef of you yet!" Sam cast a welcoming smile at Dee, who was submitting to Hokuto's inspection with a long suffering expression. "Hello Miss Dee! It's good to see you. Who's this?" Before any introductions or explanations could be made, Hokuto noticed Seishirou and launched herself at him.
"Sei-Chan! I'm so happy to see you!" Whatever welcome he had been expecting, this wasn't it. "How is Subaru? What's been…" She trailed off and turned to look at Dee, although she did not relinquish her hold on the thirteenth Sakurazukamori. "Dee?"
"Yes?" Dee regarded her coolly.
"Does his being here mean he's dead?" Dee's expression became confused at the hyperactive Sumeragi twin's question.
"Yes. Why wouldn't it?"
"I thought so." She nodded and turned back to her captive. In one quick movement she brought her foot up, slammed it down on Seishirou's toes, and jumped back. "Sei-Chan you IDIOT! How could you go and get yourself KILLED?! I wanted you to make my brother *happy*, and here you've gone and made him *sad*!" Her eyes narrowed. "How did you die anyway?"
Seishirou edged away slightly. It wasn't because he was *frightened* of Hokuto. No, not at all! He wasn't scared of how she might react, nope, not him. He certainly wasn't remembering a knife held to his throat and the words, "Make my brother cry and I'll kill you." whispered in his ear. He could handle Hokuto. He was the Sakurazukamori after all (well, not anymore but still…) and he had faced scarier opponents. The fact that he couldn't remember any of them at the moment meant nothing.
"Subaru killed him." Seishirou shot a glare at Dee, but the damage was done.
"What!"
"A hand through the heart, same as you." Dee shrugged. "Your cruse worked."
"It wasn't supposed to have too!" Hokuto snarled, never taking her eyes off Seishirou. "What the hell were you THINKING! Now Subaru will get all guilty and he'll angst even worse then usual! When he's feeling guilty he won't eat or sleep! *And* he'll start dressing even worse then he is now! Oh yes! I heard about that Sei-Chan!" She glared at him as the whole pub stared, and then exploded again. "*And* he's the Sakurazukamori now! Subaru won't make a good assassin! He's too kind! She paused, chest heaving, to gulp down air. "SEI-CHAN YOU STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, *STUPID* MAN!"
There was a ringing silence as Hokuto huffily turned her back on Seishirou. It was interrupted by a rather drunk man near the bar commenting
"Ten bucks on Hokuto."
"Ah, Ford?" His companion, a short, lost looking man tugged at Ford's sleeve. "I don't think that's a good idea. You know how Hokuto gets..."
"You know what Arthur? You're cute when you worry." Ford leaned down and kissed a somewhat stunned Arthur on the cheek. Arthur squeaked.
The rest of the pub blissfully ignored this brief by-play.
"Umm...Miss Lissa? What's going on?" Sam whispered to the neon angel. Lissa shrugged in a don't-ask-me-I-just-work-here fashion. Dee smiled at Sam.
"This is Sakurazuka Seishirou, the Sakurazukamori, which means 'Cherry Tree (or blossom) Assassin'" Sam blinked at this information but nodded. "About, oh, eighteen years ago now he met a small boy beneath the Cherry Tree Barrow he guards. His hands were covered in the blood of the young girl he had just given to the tree, but the boy was not afraid. Seishirou made a bet with that child. He said that he would spare the child's life for now, but they would meet again. When that happened Seishirou would stay with the child for a year, and see if he could fall in love with him. If he did, then the child would live, if he did not then the child would die. And then he marked the boy's hands to show that he was the Sakurazukamori's prey, masked the memory of the incident, and sent him on his way." Sam stared.
"That's...That's..."
"Very, very disturbing." Cut in a new voice. The voice belonged to a middle aged man dressed in clothing that screamed 'rumpled country doctor'.
"Hello, Doctor McCoy." Lissa chirped. "Isn't Chaya a good storyteller?"
"My name isn't Chaya!"
"Chaya? Oh, Dee. She is indeed. Any more to the story?"
Dee nodded and continued. "Seishirou was right. They did meet again, when the boy was sixteen and living with his twin sister in Tokyo. It's a city." She added, noticing Sam's confusion. "Seishirou did give the boy a year, as he had promised, and during that year he did his best to seem simply a gentle hearted veterinarian. The twins took him for the kindly man he seemed to be, and the girl pushed him and her brother together every chance she got. The boy fell hopelessly in love with his handsome suitor, though he was far too shy to admit it."
"And a year passed, and Seishirou decided he did not love the boy. And so he tore the seals from the boy's memories and broke his arm along with his heart. He did not kill him though, not yet."
McCoy shuddered. Dee smiled and kept speaking.
"The boy's sister would do anything for her brother, so she went to the Cherry Tree Barrow and offered her life in place of her brother's. Seishirou killed her, of course. But there was an unseen trap in the girl's gift, for as she died she cursed Seishirou, so that if he ever tried to harm her brother he would meet the same death he had given her."
Dee sighed and brushed a strand of hair out of her face.
"The girl was Hokuto, as I'm sure you've guessed, and the boy was her brother, Subaru. Subaru killed Seishirou today because of Hokuto's cruse. And now he's miserable about it."
"Wow..." Lissa gaped. "And I thought my life was strange."
"Lissa. You are the Keeper of the Beer. I have yet to meet anyone with a life odder then yours." Dee stretched and smirked. "Speaking of alcohol I could really go for a nice..."
"No." Hokuto broke into Dee's words.
"No?" Dee raised an eyebrow. "Why no?"
"Because I want you to take me to my brother."
Dee blinked.
"That's against the rules..."
"I don't care."
"Oh have a heart, Chaya!" Lissa glared at the other angel.
"I only said that it was against the rules, not that I wouldn't take her!" Dee protested. "And don't call me Chaya!"
"May I go too?" A soft sweet voice asked. The voice, unsurprisingly to anyone who knew the situation, belonged to a delicate blond beauty.
Dee sighed. "All right Kotori. You can come too. Anyone else?"
"I'm coming!" Lissa announced brightly. "And so is Sam!"
"I am?"
"Yes you are."
"Oh."
"Sei-Chan's coming too." Hokuto cut in.
"I am?"
"Yes."
"Ah."
"I'm coming too." McCoy told Dee as he stepped forward. "You'll need a doctor if you're going to let this walking madhouse loose on the world."
Dee nodded. "Okay, pack up everyone. We're leaving as soon as you do. I want to get this insanity over with.
TBC...