Fading
I felt lost in your embrace, caught between two completely different worlds. I'd never felt this way before. I'd never felt so loved, so wanted before. I wished that the moment would last forever so that we wouldn't be parted at any time. I wanted to call your name out, shout it so loud that everybody could hear that we were together. But no one could hear me. No matter how hard I shouted or screamed, no one heard, I had no voice. No one came to my rescue, not even you.
I wondered where you were, where your shining face had gone. I missed the feel of your lips against mine, the love between us, and the power. I started to believe that I was worthless, not needed for anything. I missed you, I missed us, but I daren't mention it. I fear that I'm broken.
I wanted you to come back, come back to me and hold me in your arms. I wanted you to make me feel wanted again, but I had a feeling that wasn't going to happen anymore. I haven't seen your face for a while now. Although I can still make you out, I feel like we're two strangers again.
I was heartbroken but the pain had gone. The pain inside had vanished with my memory of you. I hadn't felt the gunshot or the scratches in a long time, I just hadn't. I couldn't believe you. Why did you leave me? Wasn't I good enough? Didn't you love me?
I tried to find you. I walked a long way, looking for you everywhere but everything looked the same. Everything looked similar and everything was empty. I couldn't find you, I couldn't find anyone. I guessed I was just a shadow now, maybe I was empty.
What I would give to feel the sunlight on my face again, the rush of wind thrust upon me or just the feel of rain hitting me from the depressing sky. I'd give even more to touch you, to hold your hand, to talk to you. You miss the simplest things when you're gone.
After endlessly searching, I finally found that memory in my head. The beach. The sand. The water. You. I remembered things I didn't want to remember. I remember our last kiss, your words, you hurt me. You killed me, Gabriel.
Looking around, I realised I'd been stuck on the same beach for what seemed like an eternity. You weren't there, nobody was there, and I don't even think I was there. I was just a memory. I didn't care about what you had done anymore; I know why you did it. You had to, I knew too much. You loved me and you couldn't have that. You couldn't have me threaten your life, you didn't want me trailing around after you asking who you'd killed, tortured or what powers you had gotten lately. You didn't want to hold hands, to kiss, to go out on a date. You didn't want the hassle of me there, and I understoodd that. I was a handful ever since I was born, that's what everybody used to say. But I'm just human, that's what humans do and I guess you're not like that on the outside. I feel like I'm the only one who knows you properly, Gabriel but I don't think you want to know me.
Do you even remember me anymore? Do you feel guilty? I'd always believed that a sociopath could never love; I guess I proved myself wrong, because I loved you. But, I guess I'm not a sociopath anymore. I wish I deserved one more night on Earth, just to see you once more. But as I was growing colder, I think I could possibly be fading or maybe have something more to gain.