A/N: Look who's back! Thought I'd give it another go with fanfiction, my fingers have been itching with evil for quite some time now and it's nice to have an outlet.. Off to a running start with this baby! And this was betaread by the lovely LT, who has magically reappeared in my time of need! Hope you like it, guys!
-o-o-o-
"Those with the greatest awareness have the greatest nightmares" -Mahatma Ghandi
-o-o-o-
Shadows everywhere. Closing in. Slowly. Menacingly. Frightening. There is nowhere to hide. Nowhere to run. Trapped. Caught. Cornered. Screams make no sound. Can't move. Can't breathe. Towering high above. Cold hands reaching out, clawing. Tears. Pain. Fear. Dragged into darkness. Drowning.
It's your mind.
It's your mind.
It's your mind.
-o-o-o-
Spencer Reid woke from his sleep with a blood curdling scream. In less than two seconds after his eyes snapped open in panic he had tumbled out of bed and crawled backwards up against the bedroom wall. Panting wildly, he looked around as if something from his nightmare had followed him into the real world and was ready to attack at any given moment.
It took a full ten minutes for the young agent to calm down after his less than serene awakening. Once his breathing had settled, he pulled his legs up to his chest and rested his forehead against his knees. Still feeling his heart pounding heavily in his chest, he tried to push the nightmare as far away as possible.
He'd been having the nightmares for over a month now, and they were only getting worse. In the beginning they were only enough to rattle him from his sleep momentarily, and he could settle back into his pillow and float back into more pleasant dreams. But as the weeks went on, the nightmares only became worse and worse, and now he hadn't had an entire night's sleep in over a week. Every night he'd wake up screaming in terror.
Reid had tried analyzing the dreams to the best of his knowledge, but one can only read so much into menacing shadows dragging you into darkness. Considering his profession he figured it was no wonder that the nightmares had returned. But this bad?
On unsteady legs he rose, still leaning against the wall. He was soaked in sweat. The green pajama he was wearing clung to his body like a second skin. A glance out the window told him that it would be morning soon enough, so he might as well give up the urge to go back to sleep. Frankly, he wasn't too keen on revisiting the land of nightmares any time soon anyway.
After a short shower and a quick once over, young Dr. Reid grabbed his satchel and a travel cup of coffee he had prepared before going into the bathroom. The drive to work was only half an hour, but he figured he could get to the office early and get some long overdue paper work done before the rest of the team arrived. With a yawn, he closed the door to his apartment, locked it and shuffled down the hallway towards the parking lot outside.
-o-o-o-
Derek Morgan was the first to arrive at the bullpen that morning. At least that was what he thought when he walked through the big glass doors leading into his work area. To his surprise, a tousled figure sat hunched over one of the desks, seemingly engulfed in a file.
Frowning, Morgan strode over to his colleague's desk. "Reid?" he asked. When he didn't receive an answer, he rounded the table and peered under the frizzy bangs of his young co-worker. It may have looked like Reid was hard at work, but in fact he was deep asleep; his head rested in his hand as he leaned onto the desk.
Morgan reached out a careful hand and placed it gently on Reid's shoulder. "Hey, kid." The reaction he got was certainly not one he expected.
Reid flew up in complete panic, letting out a shrill scream, and after backing away a few steps he tripped over Prentiss' chair and tumbled onto the floor, arms flailing wildly.
The older agent calmly walked round the desk and looked at the crumpled heap on the floor before crouching down beside Reid. "You okay?"
Reid gasped for air as he covered his face with his hands. "Yeah… Don't do that!"
"Sorry, Reid." Morgan tried his luck once again by putting a hand on the younger man's shoulder. This time the response was calmer. "I didn't know you'd freak out."
The young agent shook his head. "It's okay." Now that he thought about it, he was happy that no one else had seen that little show. He was embarrassed enough as it was. "You just startled me a bit."
Morgan chuckled. "Startled? Kid, I'd say you were pretty close to needing an underwear change." Standing up, he reached out a hand to the man still on the floor who happily took it and pulled himself up.
With a sheepish smile, Reid lifted Prentiss' chair from the floor and shoved it back against her desk. The papers in his file had scattered every which way as he'd jumped from the table and he began collecting them from the floor around him.
Morgan frowned as he helped his colleague gather his file. "Are you alright, Reid?" There was something in the young man's demeanor that made him look even more awkward than usual, but he couldn't put his finger on it. "You've been a little out of it lately."
Reid shrugged. "I've been having some trouble sleeping, that's all."
But Morgan knew better than to leave it at that. Catching his friend's arm in a soft grip, he made Reid turn towards him. "You know you can talk to me, right?"
The young agent easily pulled his arm out if his colleague's grip. "I know, Morgan. But trust me, I'm fine. I could just need some sleep." In actuality, the last person he would talk to about his nightmares was Morgan. Last time he had done that Morgan had run straight to Gideon. Fair enough, the situation worked itself out fine, but still.
"Maybe you need to take some time off?"
Reid felt like snorting. Like that would help. More time to brood about the nightmares, no thanks. "I'm fine. Hey look, there's Prentiss." He quickly rose while Morgan was briefly distracted waving hello to their female colleague. After dropping his file onto his desk, Reid hurried out into the kitchen to put on another pot of coffee before anyone could ask him any more questions.
-o-o-o-
The flight to Burbank was long and bumpy. The turbulence on the jet was almost enough to send everyone in the team into fits of airsickness. Never had there been so many air pockets and thunderstorms as there were today. After the briefing and initial discussion about the profile Reid had tried to get some sleep before they arrived. The third time he was startled out of the seat by the flash of a sudden bolt of lightning he gave up and took up a case file. He tried reading it, but everything looked like gibberish and the letters seemed to be bouncing around wildly on the pages. Not even the distorted faces of the mauled victims made any sense to him as he found them all to look like ground beef. In fact, that wasn't too far away from the truth.
With an annoyed sigh he threw the file onto the table and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. His eyes burned like fire, screaming for sleep. It was the one thing he was not able to grant them.
"Hey."
The voice startled him and he jerked his head up. He hadn't even noticed that Prentiss had sat down in front of him. "Hey," he croaked, surprised over the hoarseness of his voice. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Hey."
"Are you alright? You look like death warmed over."
Reid sighed. "That's really encouraging, Emily."
"I'm sorry." Emily tilted her head slightly. "But you do look really tired. Why don't you get some sleep before it's wheels down?"
"Well, I tried that but Mother Nature had other plans for me." Reid yawned involuntarily and covered it badly with his hand. "I just need some more coffee."
"You had six cups already, and it's only 9AM." Prentiss reached across the table and put her hand over Reid's, which was resting over the case file. "I'm starting to worry about you."
Normally, Reid would shun the sensation of human touch, but he was too tired to make up a reason to pull away. Looking up, he met Emily's eyes. There was genuine concern there, not just mock care. Reid sighed deeply and lowered his gaze. "I've been having trouble sleeping."
"How come?"
"I've…been having these…nightmares." He waited for her to chuckle or smirk, but there was nothing of the sort. Instead, her fingers tightened around his hand.
"What kind of nightmares?" Her voice was slightly hushed.
Reid chewed the inside of his cheek. "Just…nightmares. I don't even know what they're about. It's just a lot of darkness."
Prentiss gave him a slightly sad smile. "It's not so strange that you have nightmares, considering what we do. We see things not many other people even have nightmares about. No wonder it finds its way into your brain at night."
Reid frowned. "It's not even that common to have nightmares when you're an adult, the ratio decreases radically from the age of 15 to 25. I should be past it by now."
A soft chuckle escaped Prentiss' lips. "Well, that's calculating on a normal brain, isn't it? Your brain is all but normal, Reid. There are things going on in there that are impossible to put under a microscope."
The young agent smirked. "Yeah… I just wish I knew why I can't get rid of them. They're getting a lot more intense now, and I… I…" He couldn't finish the sentence, telling Prentiss that he'd wake up screaming every night since last Tuesday. "I really need to sleep."
"I wish I could help you, Reid."
Somehow, Reid knew she wasn't just saying it. She really meant it. "Thanks. It'll be alright. If I just get one good night's sleep, I'm sure it'll pass."
Prentiss gave his hand one last squeeze before releasing it. "If there's anything you want to talk about, you know where to find me. We're a team, you know." A smart smile grazed her lips before she took the file from the table and folded it open in her lap.
Reid leaned back into the seat. He would just rest his eyes for a bit before they landed.
-o-o-o-
The case they had been called in to help with was nothing out of the ordinary for the BAU. A serial killer targeting high-risk victims in high-risk areas, leaving only mangled corpses behind in alleyways. The profile indicated that it was a mutated form of a house cleaner, targeting prostitutes and homeless people in a secluded part of Burbank. The team was optimistic about capturing this UnSub in a not too distant future and the profile had already been sent to every officer in the department.
At 1AM the team retreated to the hotel to rest before resuming the hunt in the morning.
"Be ready in the lobby at 7AM", Hotch had said before they all headed to their rooms with their overnight bags dangling from their shoulders.
Reid shuffled into his room, dropping his bag on the floor with a dull thud. He was so tired that his legs could hardly carry him. His head was spinning madly and when he finally was able to kick off his shoes, he collapsed across the bed, falling asleep almost instantaneously.
The day had been hell. His brain was operating at 30% capacity, at the very most. The young agent had felt utterly worthless during the entire profiling session, not being able to form intelligible trains of thought for the others to follow. There were many frowns and annoyed faces before Reid finally decided to shut his mouth and tried to focus his mind on the case in silence instead.
Hotch had caught him by the arm in the hallway and sternly looked him in the eye as they had left the police station. "Is there something I need to know here, Reid?"
He had shaken his head intently. "No, Hotch. I'm just tired."
"Make sure you get some sleep then. You can't do your best if you're walking around like a zombie."
"I know, Hotch. I'm sorry." He had been mortified.
Maybe tomorrow would prove to be a better day.
-o-o-o-
Reid woke slowly the next morning. As he blinked against the dim light coming from the window, he realized that hadn't woken up screaming. There hadn't been any nightmares. Not that he could remember anyway.
He was ecstatic. He hadn't had a whole night's sleep in weeks! Finally, the nightmares were letting go! Maybe he really just did need to talk about it with someone. He silently thanked Prentiss with a quick smile.
Sitting up in the bed, he found himself fully clothed, and remembered collapsing the night before.
I guess that was what I needed. Complete and utter exhaustion. What the…?
As he looked down onto his feet, he frowned deeply. His shoes were neatly tied, like they always were, but they were absolutely filthy. Mud and sludge covered the usually brown leather, and the muck continued up onto his gray slacks, stopping only at his knees.
"What in the world…?"
Looking down onto his shirt, he found more mud and unidentifiable stains. With gaping mouth, he eyed his hands. They were covered in dirt.
"The hell…?"
His mouth tasted of mud. What had happened to him?
Reid carefully made his way to the bathroom to wash the grime away from his body. He stopped in front of the mirror; a look of utter horror greeting him.
His face was covered in dried blood.