This is something I just randomly wrote while considering doing an entry for the "For the Love of Women" challenge. It turned out really short but I liked it well enough. I did not use it for an entry, deciding to go in a different direction for the challenge. When I emailed it to my writing partner, WolfH00r, the subject of the email was "WTF is this?" because I didn't know what to do with it after I decided against using it for FTLOW.
This is completely UNBETAD so please ignore any mistakes or inconsistencies.
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Alive POV
My best friend has long dark hair with gentle waves throughout. I never see her fuss with it; she just allows it to hang down her back, flowing loosely. She's always been a 'no fuss, no muss' kind of girl; minimal make-up, not too girly when it comes to fashion. Those have always been my 'thing'. Hair and make-up and fashion. While Bella didn't mind tears in the knees of her jeans and scuffed up sneakers I always managed to stay put together and shiny.
One of my first memories involves me tromping around the house in my mother's high heels when I was just starting to walk. We had hard wood floors in the downstairs area of the house and I loved the click clack sound the shoes made. My fascination then extended to make-up once I was a little older. Even though I was much too young to wear any I would sit on a stool next to moms vanity and watch her get dressed up for parties she and my dad had to attend.
You would think Bella and I, having the least things in common, wouldn't really be friends. Perhaps acquaintances, but never "bffs". I've known her for too many years to count and in the entire time I've known Bella, she's been my one steadfast, true friend.
Often, I watch her from the sidelines, which is kind of ironic because I am popular (though I hate to point that out; it makes me sound conceded but it's still true). Bella has always been the "behind the scenes" kind of girl. Not what I would call a wallflower but definitely not the type that likes to stand out in a crowd. She's friendly to everyone and all of our classmates love her but sometimes she's awkward to the point of it being painful to watch.
Like the time I drug her to a party and someone spiked the punch and we didn't know it. She danced offbeat the whole night, bless her, with Mike Newton. Finally rescuing her I pulled her into our own little dance and before either of us realized it, I had my hands on her hips and was pulling her closer. That night, I kissed her on the lips. Later we were both incredibly miserable and my brother, who'd been hiding in the shadows, drove us home. That party was one of the few I could talk Bella into going to. We never discussed the kiss I planted on her red stained lips but I thought about it often.
I 'never meet a stranger' as my mother always says. I can't help that I'm drawn to people, trying to coax them out of the shell they seem to surround themselves with. I've always been this way, even as a small child so it only made sense that I would try to draw out Bella. My father still jokes that he was afraid mom would have a nervous breakdown by the time I reached grade school. One time we were out shopping and I was just a toddler. My parents turned around and two seconds later, I had toddled off. They found me making friends with an elderly couple and their stair step grandchildren. After the 'incident' they kept their hawk-like eyes on me constantly. I never changed my ways, of course, my need for human companionship only grew as I aged. It's just who I am. You can't tie me down. I'm always on my feet and moving, even when I'm sleeping I'm all over the place. I'm Whirlwind Alice.
But I digress. As I was saying, I watch Bella often, simply because I can't keep my eyes off of her. She's naturally beautiful with big brown doe eyes that, I swear, look straight through into me.
Bella is sweet and caring; the daughter of a police chief and an eccentric artist mother. She volunteers at the local hospital as a candy stripper and spends some of her free time baking things for a nearby assisted living facility. She's every parents dream. The girl every college looks for. When I said that everyone loves her, I wasn't exaggerating. I felt just as drawn to her as they all did.
Bella's my best friend. The only female I have ever looked at in a more than friendly way. She doesn't see herself the way I see her. I'm sure if she could look at herself through my eyes, she would be shocked. I hadn't realized that I was seeing her through different eyes until the night of the party when I kissed her but after looking back, it had been slowly building.
Ironically my older brother, although he doesn't admit to it, is taken by her too. Edward, I noticed, began falling in love with Bella when she and I were fifteen. He had just turned a very wise and all knowing seventeen. I never speak to either of them about it but I have always noticed the sly looks they think they are managing to hide. Bella, I know, is a bit too shy to approach him. Edward, well, if you're asking me to try to figure out the inner workings of his mind- I shudder. Edward banned Bella and I from any parties unless he was attending but after he graduated, we didn't have to abide by that rule. Still, Bella hated crowds of drunk, groping and horny teenagers- so mostly, we hung out at my house or hers. Eating junk food and wearing pajamas that were inappropriate, for sure. It was sometimes hard for me to keep my eyes off of her beautiful legs. And I just know she caught me looking at her cleavage more than once.
The rest of high school is a breeze for us and on graduation day I stand beaming with my arm around my best friends waist. An older Edward is standing behind our parents along with Charlie and Renee. Big brothers eyes look a little glazed over while they remain locked on Bella. He's away at college now and is a very adult like twenty years old. I roll my eyes at the puppy dog look on his face because, really? He still hasn't told her how he feels. And ok, I haven't either, but I have my reasons and they aren't as stupid as his. Some days I'm so close to shoving them both in a closet and locking them inside until they start making out.
It would put all of us out of our misery. Honestly.
I allow Bella to pull away from my embrace and her parents step forward to have their picture taken with her. Pulling myself together I move over to Edward and nudge him in the hip. I'm so short compared to him that it's the natural place for my bony elbow to hit. It drives him crazy and I happily do it knowing this.
His head jerks down and he eyes me, looking annoyed when I know he really isn't. It's been a few months since he's been home, with school whipping his ass and us living across the country. He totally misses me, even if he doesn't say it. The millions of emails and texts I get every week prove that. "Smile, Edward. At least now you can get off your ass and go after her," I finally speak the thoughts I've been having for a while. I'm actually pretty impressed with the self restraint I've practiced all this time. I'm not usually the type to keep my lips zipped when I have an opinion. To say I've had an opinion about these two dragging their feet all these years, well that's an understatement.
Truth be told, I've only been quiet up until now because I wanted to keep Bella all to myself. I knew if I ever pushed them in the direction of one another, it would be all she wrote, so to speak. The time Bella and I would be able to spend together would have dwindled had I said anything before Edward went away to school. Visions of the two of them skipping off into the sunset and never seeing them again bounced through my head too often. So I kept my mouth shut and then he was gone.
"What are you talking about?" Edward glances over quickly, his eyes dart to all of the faces of our family and friend. "God, Alice. You are insane," he tells me with a shake of his head. Shrugging my shoulders I squint at him and speak in a lower tone, "What's the big? I mean, why haven't you told her already? Don't you think it's about time?"
Edward doesn't say anything for a while. He just elbows me back, hitting me in the shoulder and throwing me off balance. We stand side by side, watching our parents interact with the Swan family. Before I realize what he's doing Edward lifts his arm and props his elbow on top of my head, miming that he's using me for a resting post while he crosses one ankle over the other. He thinks he's so fucking funny.
I'm shocked when Edward's voice, low enough for only me to hear, vibrates against me. I'd expected no reply from him and almost considered the topic closed. "I can't start something with someone that is hundreds of miles away." The words he doesn't speak, "even if I want to," linger in the air.
Trying to turn my head to look at him I cut my eyes up, a look of "What the fuck are you talking about?" on my face.
"She's going to Yale, Edward." I watch as best I can, with not being able to turn my head and all; I can barely see his eyes go wide at the mention of the school he himself is attending.
Bella had struggled with making a college choice; torn between staying close to home, near me and her family, and going to one of the prestigious universities she'd been accepted to. Secretly I felt that a small bit of her decision was based on Edward's location as well. We discussed Yale multiple times, me pointing out that she'd at least know someone there and her cheeks blushing red. It was cute, I'll admit and at times, I was a little jealous of her reaction to his name. She argued with me some, saying she'd miss me too badly and 'who else will keep you in line?' but I waved away her concern. I was planning to take my place of higher education by storm.
"I thought she would stay closer to you," Edward admits to me, probably without thinking. It isn't often that Edward let's his feelings be known, on this subject, or any other for that matter. My brother is locked up like Fort Knox most of the time.
We stand there silently for a second and I notice that Bella keeps glancing over at us. I know this private moment between Edward and I will end soon. Once we get back to the house I don't know that I'll have much alone time to spend with him. Mom and dad tend to smother Edward when he gets the chance to come back. They hate that he is so far away but are so proud of what he's accomplishing too. I see the struggle on their faces when they don't know I'm looking.
By the look on his face it's obvious that he's shocked, and maybe even a little scared, that finally he has to man up and tell her. Edward drops his arm and turns to me, glancing over to make sure the others are still far enough away before he speaks. "Alice, what about...?" The look on his face tells me that he knows. That he somehow always knew, without me saying a word about my feelings for her. I guess my brother and I are more alike than I ever thought.
Waving a hand at him I shake my head before saying, "Edward, it's you she loves. Not me. She's my best friend and although she may love me, it's not the same way she loves you. Please don't let this pass the two of you by just because of me."
Edward stares into my eyes for what seems like forever before he nods just slightly, showing me that he believes me. I know the last thing he would want to do is hurt me by going to her and I need for him to know I'm ok. All I want is to see both of them happy. I know that she will make him so and vice versa.
He drops a kiss on the top of my head and mutters, "Love you, little sister," before stepping away. I watch as Edward walks toward our families and Bella. I feel my heart break just a little. I don't begrudge my brother and best friend the happiness I know they'll find with one another. This is what they both want, what they both deserve, but it still tugs at my heart. When Edward reaches Bella I can tell by the look on both sets of parents faces that they know something is up. They all four back away just as I turn to walk in the other direction, needing to give them some privacy (and myself some air).
Just as I turn I run smack dab into a wall; a hard, warm skin wall, that is. My eyes travel up and meet a pair of bright blue eyes in a creamy complexion, topped with curling blonde hair. "Hey," he says quietly and I stare up at him, the sounds of people shuffling around and talking fading into nothingness. My brain will not respond and I'm speechless; this has never happened to me. I step back and then I realize he has his hands on my arms, steadying me. I hadn't even realized I was wobbling.
Vaguely I realize someone is tugging my shoulder and then finally I hear my name being called. It's my mother, I realize when I finally pull my gaze away from the man in front of me. She has a funny look on her face and I'm willing to bet I do as well. My mouth is hanging open, I notice, only because mom reaches out and cups it in her hand, pushing it closed.
"Alice, this is Edward's dorm mate, Jasper." It doesn't occur to me that in the two years Edward has been away at school, I hadn't met his dorm mate. I didn't get to visit my brother often because of school commitments and other things; when I did go with my parents, we only saw Edward.
Someone places a hand on my lower back and I spin around quickly. It's Bella and her face looks much like I'm sure mine does. My eyes dart from hers to Edward's and back again. There's no sign from either of them whether they talked before the disruption of- Jasper.
Charlie and Renee approach and we are all distracted by them requesting to have dinner as a group. Bella falls into step with me when we all begin moving toward the exit of the school. She shocks me by reaching over and taking my hand in hers, lacing our fingers together and swinging our arms as we walk. Edward and Jasper walk behind the two of us while our parents walk ahead. We reach the parking lot and begin to separate into different vehicles. Edward is driving moms car because he hung out with some old friends before the ceremony this afternoon. He and Jasper automatically head to the sleek black car while Bella and I pause next to our parents.
"Why don't you girls go with Edward and Jasper? We'll meet you at the restaurant," daddy nods, his hand placed on moms back as he guides her to the passenger side of his car.
Bella tugs my hand and I pull my gaze to her. I notice this time that she looks different; her eyes are softer and they look concerned. Nodding my head I follow her over and it doesn't escape my notice that Edward is beaming at Bella as he opens the back door for her to climb in. Once we are all settled we take off, beating my parents to the restaurant with Edward's speed demon driving. Bella and I hop out of the car and wander off to a little wooded area next to the restaurant.
"Alice, I want to talk to you," Bella tells me quietly and I know that tone of voice. She gets that way when she's unsure of herself. We take seats on a low brick wall and I turn sideways, facing Bella, who is watching Edward and Jasper across the way.
"Did Edward talk to you?" I ask her immediately, needing to know once and for all.
"I don't want to talk about Edward, Alice. I need to talk to you about something I've been holding onto for a while."
This admission has my heart racing and I am almost afraid to know what she is going to say.
"Do you remember the night of that party at Jessica's? The one she and Lauren through while her parents were out of town and the pool table got thrown in the pool?" My eyes land everywhere but on Bella's face and I nod my head.
"How in the world did they pick that thing up and dump it in the pool anyway?" I ask, trying to change the subject when I know exactly what night she's referring to.
"I don't know," Bella mutters quietly and I almost think she's going to let the subject drop. Only, she doesn't. "Do you remember when you rescued me while I was dancing with Mike Newton?" Bella doesn't stop long enough for me to say anything, probably knowing that if she doesn't go on, she might not get her thoughts out.
"You kissed me, Alice. I know we had both had that God awful spiked punch but were we both really that out of it?" She pauses and I know what she's asking; if the alcohol is what made me kiss her. If I remember doing it.
"Bella, I love you," I blurt out, knowing she's not expecting that at all. "I never realized before then and I didn't mean for it to happen, really. It just- did. But you're in love with Edward and I don't want you not accepting him because of feelings I may have for you."
Bella sits and stares at me, seeming to be shocked, although I don't know how she could be. Even though I had never told her, I figured surely after all of this time, she knew.
"Alice, I- I love you too, but I'm not," Bella pauses and I choke out the rest of her words for her. "You aren't in love with me. I know this, Bella. I am ok, with that knowledge, which is probably why I never told you."
"Aliiiice! Get your short self over here! Our tables ready," Edward shouts across the parking lot and Bella and I jump. She looks up at him and they stare at one another for a lot longer than I've ever seen. She knows. He knows. They talked.
"I'm happy for you, Bella. You're perfect for one another. You know I never liked the girls Edward dated, and now you can see why. I just hoped one of you would tell the other sooner." I admit to her just as I notice Edward and his friend walking toward us.
"We'd better go, Alice." Bella tells me quietly, her eyes boring into mine. We both stand and begin walking slowly and the guys stop a bit away from us. "Jasper's cute," Bella says, glancing over at me. It's almost funny to me that she's switched gears this quickly, trying to distract me, no doubt.
I smirk and nod a little, "Yeah, I guess. Not as cute as you," I tell Bella with a full grin on my face and bump of my hip against hers. Her face blushes faintly but she jokes with me, "Well, you know, they can't all have my good looks."
Stopping short of reaching the guys I take her hand in mine and turn her toward me, "You'll always be my best friend. I don't want this to come between us, Bella. Promise me this crush won't make things awkward."
"Never, Alice. I couldn't live without you in my life. I just hate that you've had to suffer in silence. I wish you'd told me, even if I couldn't-"
"Return my feelings? It's ok," I shake my head. "I always knew, since we were fifteen, what side your bread was buttered on."
"And your butter? Is it buttered on the other side?"
I contemplate her question, mulling it over in my head before answering, "I don't think so, to be honest. It's not like I've never found a guy attractive. I guess I just never found the right one."
Bella and I stand and make our way back across the parking lot to join the guys. Our parents are already inside, waiting on us. The rest of the evening I watch Bella and Edward together. They are sweet and shy with one another and it makes me smile across the table at them. I glance over at Jasper and every time our eyes meet he smiles brightly at me.
He has a nice smile. Pretty eyes. Definitely attractive and incredibly polite. His voice is soft when he speaks but it still holds some commanding aspects. I'm intrigued by him and the more I watch him, the more I want to know. I'm surprised by my reaction to him. Even physically I find him alluring. I want to kiss his lips, hold his hand, cuddle into his side. My concentration is broken when someone taps my shoulder. I glance up and Edward is smirking at me. I sneer in return and he nods his head so I am forced to look around. Everyone has finished eating and they are standing, waiting on the Jasper and I.
We had been staring at one another for an undeterminable amount of time. I'm sure they expect me to be embarrassed by this but I'm not. Instead, I begin to stand but before I can push my chair back Jasper is there, helping me. Our group makes its way out of the restaurant and I notice Bella's hand in Edward's. I skip up next to her and whisper in her ear, "I think I just found my butter," I tell her. Bella's eyes grow wide and then she giggles while glancing at Jasper.
I guess nothing is impossible. My best friend finally got her guy. I met someone I thought I'd never meet; felt something I thought I'd only ever feel about one person. Graduation day turned out to be not so bad. I'm looking forward to seeing what's next.
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A/N: Tada!