My Harry Potter rant. I know I suck at poetry, but what better way to be less boring? My apologies to Harry's fans, and Dr. Seuss (RIP).
Longbottom's a hero,
Awkward he may be.
He would have been the best if only
J.K. Rowling'd see.
Oh, look at the potential!
It would've been so fun.
I can think of all these things
That Neville could've done.
He could've been an auror,
Animagus (sp?) or a seer,
The Minister of Magic,
Heck, he could've been a seeker. (Bad rhyme.)
He could date a veela,
No, just a pretty witch.
Maybe even Luna, but
She was dubbed some weirdo-bitch.
Everybody knows that
He should've saved the day.
When Voldemort attacked the school
He'd've kept evil at bay.
But NO! He can't be cool
And rise above the rest.
Fucking Harry is the hero, here!
'Cuz Harry is the best!
Neville's been quite useful.
He's already done a ton,
But there are also lots of things
That Neville should've done.
No longer should he stand in
Only just when Harry can't.
No longer just a backup
With an ugly oozing plant.
If Harry is the "cool guy,"
Then I call Neville "cute!"
He's awkward, sweet, adorable,
And appealing to boot.
There, you listened to my little rant
And now I gotta run
Before I get started on
What Luna should've done!
--Tiemiosho, a Neville fan.