Prologue

I loved a goil once. She meant everything to me. She loved me back. We were, as everyone put it, the perfect couple. She was exceptionally beautiful, like an angel. I was rugged, a street rat, but very handsome to all the other goils in the world. I didn't want anyone but her. And I thought she felt the same way. After everything we had been through, I thought we would never leave each other again. I was wrong.

Part 1: The Breaking Begins

She stared at me, waiting for my response. My breathing grew heavy, rapid. How? How on earth could she do this to me? Me? Spot Conlon? After everything we had been through. Her expression was emotionless, her eyebrows raised. She had been telling the truth. I could tell. I knew her better than anyone. She really didn't love me anymore. I loved her. But did I love her enough to let her go?

"If… t-that's… what you want, Carter," I said breathlessly, staring deep into her eyes, hoping to find SOME ounce of the love we had shared left. There was nothing.

"It is," she answered blankly. I tried to smile, tried to make it look like it was easy. I nodded several times, trying to remember how to speak. She looked away and stared at the bridge, folding her arms across the chest.

"Of course I'll always love you… in a way… but I think it would be healthier for us if we saw other people, not just each other."

I continued nodding. I barely noticed anything I did. I felt numb, entirely numb. I couldn't open my mouth to speak. I think I swallowed my tongue.

"So this is goodbye," she said turning back to smile faintly at me. That's when I saw her falter. A flash of pain crossed her face as she smiled weakly. But it was gone so fast I was sure I had imagined it. I was lying to myself if I thought that she still cared about me in that way.

"Bye," I managed to gasp. She leaned forward and kissed my lips tenderly one last time. I wanted to grip her hair and keep her faced pressed against mine for all eternity but I had to be strong and let her go. Too soon, she pulled away and then she kissed my cheek and then turned around and began to walk away. She didn't even look back.

I stared after her long after she was out of my sight. I wanted to run after her, get down on my knees and beg her to come back, beg her to stay with me. I wanted her. I needed her. Catherine Jane Bailey please don't do this to me!!! I felt the tears sting my eyes; I felt my heart start to hurt every time it beat. I was short on breath, I couldn't think. This was a whole new kind of pain, and I thought I knew pain fairly well. I dropped to my knees; my legs couldn't hold my weight any longer. I fell to my side, and then I curled up into a fetal position. And I sobbed. I sobbed hard. Tears streamed down my face as I screamed her name over and over again. I didn't care who heard me. There was nothing left to live for. And I couldn't stand it.

(At the Lodging House)

"Where is Spot?" Tide said nervously looking at the clock.

"I knew it! He and Carter are having-"

"THEY ARE NOT HAVING SEX!!!" everyone else screamed at Snake.

"Well why else would he be so late?" Snake defended himself.

"Maybe something came up," Factory said timidly.

The other newsies looked nervously from one to another. What could've come up that was causing Spot to be so late?

"I'm going to go look for him," Felix said standing and grabbing his hat.

"I'm coming with you," Factory said replied sprinting out the door before anyone could say anything else could say anything.

They called for him. They yelled his name and searched all over for him. It wasn't until around midnight that they found him, lying on the ground curled up in a ball, tears falling silently down his face.

"SPOT!" Factory screamed running towards him. He didn't move.

I barely heard Factory as he screamed my name. I was barely aware of anything. All I could think about was the excruciating pain that was flowing through me like a current. Every now and then I would let out a moan of agony. I couldn't move. I didn't want to live.

"Spot!" Factory ran over to me and placed a hand on my cheek, before shaking my shoulder lightly.

"Spot, Spot, it's ok! We're here," he grabbed my hand and tugged, trying o get me to stand. I didn't budge.

"Come on, Spot," Felix grabbed my arm and pulled me off the ground and then put my arm around his neck and helped me walk. My feet dragged without me even being aware of it. Factory tried to help but there wasn't much he could. There wasn't anything anyone could do. I had lost all reason to live. I wished that Factory and Felix had left there to die. I wanted to die. My heart had been torn into millions of pieces. There wasn't anything anyone could do now. But when have I ever cared about myself? If this was what Carter wanted, than I would let her go. I didn't care about my happiness, as long as she was happy, than my happiness didn't matter. I just wish it wouldn't hurt so badly.

My breathing grew exceptionally ragged, it became harder and harder to breathe. My lungs would not take in air, and when I did breathe, it felt like a thousand tiny pins were piercing my heart and lungs. I coughed every now and then, trying to get air either out or in. Felix looked very worried about me and Factory looked like he was about to cry seeing me in such pain. I wondered what my expression looked like. I probably looked dead since that was the way I felt. I felt like I was the living dead.

They dragged me into the lodging house and when all the other newsies saw me, they all jumped forward and tried to help me. Eventually, they helped me into a chair at the front of the room. But I didn't stay in it. I dropped to the floor and simply laid there, my face to the floor.

"So… how did the date go?" Snake asked awkwardly.

"Oh it was great," I said in a very shaky agonized voice, "We went to dinner, took a walk, and then she reached into my chest and ripped my heart out and then trampled it into thousands of pieces."

All the newsies exchanged looks as they understood what I meant.

"Oh… so she…" Tide started

"She broke up with me," I finished for him.

All the newsies started to yell and protest about it.

"How could she? You two were perfect! You were PERFECT!" Cart screamed.

I let them scream at each other, at me, I let them say whatever they wanted. I never responded. I closed my eyes and tried to drown them out. It didn't matter anymore that we were the perfect couple. She didn't want me anymore. Hard to believe that only several months earlier I had fallen off the Brooklyn Bridge and saved her from marrying a man she hated with a burning passion. We were in love then. But not anymore. And as my newsies argued and protested, silent tears began to fall down my cheeks. How would I live?