A/N: So... this is a christmas themed Buffy fic I started writing... a while ago. I originally posted it on Livejournal but got no feedback, so i was wondering.. is it worth continuing? I'd love your opinion.

xxx

"Merry fucking Christmas." Faith muttered to herself, flicking her cigarette butt onto the cold cement and stamping it out with the scratched black heal of her leather boot. She stayed a moment, with her back against the rough brick wall of the alley, dark eyes taking in the night around her. Then with one last irritated kick at thin air she sauntered out again, hips swinging from side to side with each confident stride.

The cheery 'Merry Xmas' sign hanging over the door put her off, something about the way the simmering red letters stuck out against the violent green background. Once upon a time she'd thought it was odd that colours so often associated with anger and jealous were also used to represent Christmas. Now she just thought it was incredibly appropriate, because that's all she really felt around Christmas time.

Despite it's glittery season greeting, the brunette entered anyway. She didn't have much choice, most other bars were shut and any that weren't were too far a stumble home the next morning. What she found inside however was pleasantly dank, decrepit and utterly dodgy.

"It's like bein' home again..." slipped hoarsely from her lips, just as she caught a whiff of Sherry in the cold winter air. A woman to her left was passed out on the grimy top of a bar table, slumped beside her half empty glass, bright red lip stick marks around the rim. The tart colour gleamed in the low lighting, too red, too dark, like dried blood on the badly washed glass. Bile rose in the brunette's throat as she pulled her eyes away.

"Just like home.".

"Buffy... Buffy!". The blonde shook her head, stuffing clothes roughly into the knapsack on her bed, refusing to listen to the voice behind her. She could feel him hovering, his nervous energy seeping into her. As her hand reached out towards the pile of stakes, another larger hand grasped it, tugging her to turn and face them.

"Buffy! You can't go, it's Christmas.". The slayers pale green eyes gave him an irritated look before she pulled her hand free with ease. Christmas meant nothing, it was simply another day in the life of a slayer. Another day when evil ran rampant and peopled needed saving. She turned away from him again and began collecting up the stakes, the calluses on her fingers catching on loose splinters as she worked.

"I'm The Slayer Xander, I don't get Holidays. When the world needs saving, I save it." The pieces of wood clattered as they fell into her bag haphazardly. She slipped one up the sleeve of her shirt, her favorite, it's coarse texture grazing the bare skin of her arm uncomfortably, and began searching for the silver cross pendant that was her most prized possession.

"But that's just it, you aren't the only slayer anymore. You can send someone else to do this." Xander exclaimed, reaching out more gently this time, placing his on the top of her shoulder and squeezing it softly. Buffy only shrugged his hand away, leaning across the wrinkles of her bed cover as she spotted a gleam of silver in the deep blue folds. The metal was cold against her skin as she lifted it up, a delicate chain that snaked across her fingers, a small silver cross that sat in the palm of her hand. She could still remember the first time it saved her, the weight of the vampire on top of her and the smell of the musty coffin clear as day in her mind. Back when she had a mother to cook Christmas dinner and put presents in her stockings, when her and Dawn would leave out treats for Santa and the Reindeer and their father's gifts would arrive a day late but they didn't mind at all. When things were almost normal.

"What, and make them miss out on Christmas? I'm used to it now Xander, I don't care, it's only Christmas..." Her voice stayed level as she spoke, despite the shrill emotions choking her up inside. She slipped the necklace around her neck, careful not to let the catch tangle in the wisps of hair that fell free of her pony tail.

"What about Dawn?". Her stomach twisted at the mention of her sister and she paused a moment, hand frozen touching the the cross that hang from her neck, tracing the shape over and over.

"I'll only be gone a few days. You're in charge till I come back, but if anything major happens, call me.". She heaved the bag up onto her shoulder and began heading towards the door. Xander tried to stop her, stepped in her way and refused to move. She had the strength to push him aside, but instead she stopped, her wide green eyes letting her emotions show for once in the presence of her best friend only.

"Have a good Christmas Xander. Hey, maybe you'll even get Renee under the mistletoe." She smiled softly, reaching out to squeeze his arm before slipping past and out the door. Even as she made her way down the corridor she could hear vague sounds of protest echoing from her room.

"W..what? Renee? Nooo, no no no. I don't.. I mean... I wouldn't...".