Author's Note: Okay, so most of you are probably wondering something along the line of 'what is this and where the hell is he going with it?' Those of you familiar with the more recent chapters of one of my other stories, 'The Diary of Glynda Goodwitch' are probably slightly less in the dark, but to all of you I would like to confidently state that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing here, so I'm just gonna roll with it. You see, I got the image of Magical Glynda in my head and it hasn't left me alone, so here we are. If this is utter garbage, then I'm sorry to have wasted all of our time, but if you'd like to see more of this quassi-parodic little adventure, do let me know.

Glynda Goodwitch, age fourteen, was a normal girl attending a normal school, in the perfectly normal city of Vale. She had normal parents and normal friends, and a completely normal stuffed penguin collection. Most importantly though, Glynda Goodwitch was a good girl with a good dream; she wanted to help people. She would daydream about it every day as she ate her normal breakfast prepared by her normal stay-at-home Dad: she wanted to be somebody's hero. Glynda had a problem though; she was tired of being normal. She wanted to help people, sure, but she didn't want to be a doctor – Mom was already a doctor – well… sort of – and she did not want to be a firewoman – where was the satisfaction in saving peoples lives mindless accidents of nature or their own stupidity? No, Glynda wanted to fight for good and justice! But she didn't want to be a police officer either… too mundane…

The interested observer might take note that Glynda is not her career counselor's favorite person…

No, Glynda wanted more than that, for whatever else may be said of Glynda Goodwitch, her dreams certainly were not normal ones: Glynda Goodwitch wanted to be a Superhero! She just hadn't put much thought into how to go about it… She knew that she wanted to fight villains and save people from monsters and rescue kittens from very tall trees (although she assumed that any local dogs in distress could sort themselves out; she was allergic after all) and she wanted to do it in style. Indeed, no dour police uniform or heavy fireproof coat for her! She wanted to fight for justice and look good doing it!

And possibly get Ozpin-senpai to notice her…

As she walked to her perfectly normal school carrying her perfectly normal boxed lunch though, Glynda let out a sigh, because today was a perfectly normal day, and interesting things didn't usually happen on normal days. She could never tell her friends Cinder or Bartholomew about her dream - .they would think she was weird – indeed, she couldn't tell anyone; model students such as herself had to be careful about their image after al., so she straightened her glasses and continued on her normal way.

Little did Glynda know, today was not so normal a day as it first seemed.

"Let's see…" Glynda thought aloud as she walked – a bad habit, she knew, but it helped her concentrate through the day-to-day tedium of it all, "Today I have Algebra, English, and-,"

Fortunately or unfortunately depending entirely on one's point of view, Glynda's mundane little musings were interrupted when, seemingly from nowhere, there appeared a towering black monstrosity in her path. The casual reader might be given to interpret our heroine's terrified screams as signs of her displeasure as regards this decidedly atypical turn of events, but surely the astute observer can distinguish screams of surprised glee from those of mortal terror. You see, Glynda was positively ecstatic to have the dull monotony of her day to day ordinary life broken up by this slavering interloper – if not quite so eager to have her fragile fourteen-year old bones likewise mangled – here before her after all, stood the opportunity that she had always sought: a chance to hero and slay the beast – well, a chance to save her own skin by slaying the beast. Glynda had just one problem now: the black beast that towered over her had spikes and sharp teeth the likes of which she had never seen before, and it was like a mighty wolf that stood upon two legs, teeth and claws poised to rip and tear and kill and…

Suffice to say that Glynda hadn't quite sorted out how to summon her true potential just yet…

"W-what!?" One should not be so ignorant as to mistake Glynda's dashing for cover behind the nearest tree and trembling as signs of fear – no, Glynda was fearless; her trembling was surely born of righteous indignation that such a vicious beast could be allowed to prowl the parks of Vale city, and she hadn't run away – it had been a strategic withdrawal to behind the nearest tree to plan her counter attack… And the crying for mommy was… Well alright, that was mortal terror…

Fortune smiled upon Glynda that day – and no, not misfortune' slavering, toothy snarl – Rather, a genuine spark of hope drifted down to her then and there, in the form of a little white fairy…

"Hey, kid!"

It took our aspiring heroine several moments before she would allow herself to be distracted from her foe, dedicated to her duties – and totally not preoccupied with self-preservation, but eventually Glynda spared a glance down toward the source of the voice, "W-what?"

The source of the voice to which Glynda responded was not another person as such, she was much too short, for one. No, Glynda's untimely conversational partner was about three inches tall, and was almost all white. She wore a tiny little bolero jacket and a tiny little combat skirt, she had a tiny little ponytail and tiny little boots. All told, her outfit was perfectly suited to her tiny little frame. Under better circumstances, she'd be positively adorable, were it not for the perpetual frown on her face.

"You're not very bright, are you?"

"Well excuse me! There's a giant monster-!"

"Yes, yes," the plush-doll sized person rolled her eyes, "But for the moment, you're safe,"

"How!?"

The small person facepalmed, "Honestly… Haven't you heard? Talking is a free action,"

"Come again?"

"For the moment, I'm concealing you magically, now can we please get down to business?"

"Magic? What!?"

The little pixie sighed in exasperation, twitching her tiny little gossamer wings, "You are talking to a three inch tall fairy, dunce, and the snarling monstrosity over their hasn't disemboweled you yet. Is it really that hard to believe?"

Our heroine was silent in the face of this newcomer's superior pixie-logic.

"Good," the fairy nodded, "Now, I can't save your life – too much paperwork – but I can help you save yourself, by giving you the necessary magical powers –,"

Despite everything, Glynda instantly brightened, jaw dropping, and the towering menace before her forgotten, "You mean I can be a Magical Girl,"

Yes, that was what Glynda had always aspired to be; she wanted to save people, and wear frilly dresses while doing it… Preferably without anyone else knowing about it, but it had been her dream since she was five years old. Her prospective partner, however, was not impressed.

"Ugh…" The pixie shook her head, "You watch too much anime… But essentially yes…" She produced a little scroll and unfurled it, and drew what looked like a toothpick-sized rapier from her hip, dipping the point in a tiny inkwell that appeared next to her, "And all you have to do is sign this contract-,"

Glynda adjusted her glasses, "This isn't gonna cost me my soul, is it?"

The Pixie massaged her own temples in frustration, leaving the contract and little pen to float there, "Stupid incident Q-Beta… One time! One mascot goes of the straight and narrow, and starts dealing drugs to minors in exchange for their souls and -," She heaved a sigh, "Do you have any idea how much harder my job's been because of that? Mountains of paperwork and lawsuits and GAH!"

"Um…" Our Heroine was indeed very confused.

"No, I'm not going to charge you your soul," the fairy shook her head, "but you are going to have to trust me; now, are you in or out? You've got about forty five seconds to decide before the spell wears off,"

Glynda didn't need more convincing; she grabbed the pen and signed her name in the smallest handwriting she could muster. She did spare a thought to read the little scroll, but there really wasn't time for that, and besides, she was going to be a Magical Girl!

Nodding approvingly, the fairy spoke, "Excellent; Then on behalf of the Magic Alliance of Mascot Intermediaries, (MAMI for short) I, Weiss Schnee, the White Fairy hereby deputize you, Glynda Goodwitch, in the name of truth and justice etcetera, etcetera, etcetera… now don't screw this up!"

Suddenly, little Glynda was wrapped in light, and before her very eyes her normal little school uniform was transformed into… well… she got a black and purple cape out of it… Disappointed might be an adequate descriptor for Glynda's mood at this, but she also got a wand, so three was that… pity it was all black…

Glynda shoulders slumped, "Really? That's it?"

"Accessorize later, right now, we're kind of in a life or death situation!" The White Fairy snapped, "Now kill it!"

"Right!" With a new spark of determination in her eyes, Glynda assumed her fighting stance, twirling her wand as she declared, "In the name of truth, justice, etcetera-,"

The fairy facepalmed; added flamboyance was always a side-effect of these arrangements, but she would never understand the necessity of these ridiculous routines.

"-Magical Girl Glitter Glynda go!"

"Ehem," the Fairy cleared her throat, "If you're quite finished, you have work to do!"

Indeed, Glynda's proclamation had consumed what duration had remained of Weiss' concealing spell, and the beast before them had spotted them, and was crouching, ready to pounce. Done with her posturing, Glynda turned to face her foe, and with an instinctive swing of her wand, she cast forth a magnificent storm of blue light, which struck the creature as it lunged, freezing it in a slab of ice, and it shattered as it struck the ground.

"Well… That was… easy…"

"Of course it was; that was a little one," Glynda's fairy partner deadpanned, "But you did alright, I suppose…"

"Oh. My. GOD! I'm like totally a Magical Girl!" Glynda squeed at roughly ninety-seven and three-fifths decibels, whilst hopping up and down in excitement as it all sank in.

"I know it was only a few moments," The fairy sighed, "But I think I preferred you when you were cowering…"

"But-,"

"Apupup!" The fairy floated up to eye level, "This isn't a game! This is a job! As of precisely seventy-eight seconds ago, you have officially contracted yourself to MAMI,"

"Mommy?"

"No, no, no!" the fairy shook her head furiously, "MAMI: the Magic Alliance of Mascot Intermediaries! We are a legitimate agency!"

Glynda cocked her head, "Seriously?"

"Do I not look serious to you!?"

Indeed, the little white fairy did not appear amused. Her little fairy hands were planted firmly on her little fairy lips, wings fluttering madly as she kept aloft so as to stare Glynda down. Still, could our adorable bespectacled heroine really be blamed if she found it difficult to take lectures seriously when they came from a three-inch tall fairy? Certainly not.

"I guess…"

"Hmph," the fairy folded her arms over her tiny little chest, "Good, now if you don't mind, we have urgent business to attend to!"

"But I have school…"

The Fairy's eyebrow twitched, "School? School can wait! We have monsters to fight!"

"But-,"

"You see that?" the fairy angrily gestured at the frozen pieces of monster strewn about, "That was a Grimm! Most people can't even see them without a representative of MAMI present! But even so, they sneak into the city and wreak havoc on a daily basis! Do you know how much paperwork I have to do to cover that up!? And besides, you signed the contract! You have to help me!"

"Fine…" Glynda sighed, "But I want you to explain why I was gone to my teacher…"

The fairy blinked a few times, "Not so chipper and giddy now, huh? Maybe we'll get along after al…"

"So what did you need?" Glynda asked scuffing the dirt with a sigh; she'd really been hoping for a prettier outfit…

"Well you see," the fairy began, "One of my associates may have gotten herself into a bit of a bind…"

"So you want me to rescue a red fairy?"

"Mmhmm,"

"From That!?"

"Yep,"

"Is there an escape clause to this contract?"

"Fraid not,"

"Wonderful…"

What will Glynda do now? What is the monster holding the Red fairy captive, and who, for that matter – Okay I'm not even gonna pretend to obfuscate the red fairy's identity, that would just insult your intelligence and mine more than this story's very existence already has… Still, I hope you had fun with it, and I am certainly open to writing more if anyone actually wants to read it. For now though, Wiedersehen, and have a good day.