Been really busy. Here's something I threw out.
"I'm… trying," Riku says, doing his best to meet Naminé's eyes. He wants to be brave and stand tall, but he looks more like a mouse than a lion. His hair is a mess, greasy and tangled when normally it glistens and is perfectly straight. There are no dark circles around his eyes, but his slouch and his slow speech show just how exhausted he is. Exhausted is the wrong word; he is more along the lines of almost drained of energy. It takes a lot of energy just to stand up.
Naminé nods. "I know." She folds her hands against her stomach and looks down at her nails. They are unpainted; nails are not particularly pretty to her, and she feels no need to dress them up. She likes looking natural anyway. "I'm sorry. I know it's hard for you."
Riku wants to say something, but there are no words for his thoughts. He swallows, clenches his fists and then slips them into his pants pockets. His pants, he thinks, are probably starting to smell. He should wash them.
"Are you taking your medicine?" Naminé asks, watching his reaction to her question. She notes that he looks nervous, embarrassed and a little angry. "You took your prescription to the pharmacy, didn't you? You got it filled?"
"I got it filled," Riku snaps, but it is barely even annoyed. He just sounds tired and defeated, and a little frustrated that he is being treated like a child. "I got it filled. The medicine makes me feel sick. I get dizzy and sometimes nauseous, and I…"
Naminé sees him move toward her, and lets him wrap his arms around her smaller body. It is less like a hold and more like Riku collapses on her. She holds him, and rubs his back and whispers in his ear, "It'll go away. It takes a little while for your body to get used to it. Once it does, you'll feel better. I promise you'll feel better." She can feel Riku swallow against her shoulder, and his breath sounds… different. To investigate, she pulls away from him while simultaneously pushing him away.
Riku, passive and subtle Riku, is crying. The sight tugs at Naminé's heartstrings. Never before has she seen Riku shed tears; she wondered sometimes if it was possible, if he could be less than perfect, but never expected to see this.
"Oh Riku…"
"I'm sorry," he croaks, and wipes at his eyes with his hands like a child. Tissues are in the bathroom, but Riku would not dare begin the tense walk from his room to the bathroom just to dry his tears. Naminé steps forward, raises her hands and brushes the tears away for him.
"Look at you. You're so brave, always suffering in silence." Riku wants to laugh because he knows it sounds ridiculous, but his emotional stress makes it hard, and the tears do not slow. Naminé continues rubbing the skin beneath his eyes, and says things to him, things like, "You're a very beautiful man, you know. Very handsome. The man I fell in love with might as well be Adonis."
Riku cracks a little smile. Naminé follows, and before either knows it, they have their foreheads pressed together as they laugh. They stand together, neither moving, with their eyes closed, until Naminé straightens her neck and speaks.
"Promise me something, Riku. You have to promise me this, or else."
"What is it?"
Naminé breathes in. "I want you to promise me that you'll come to me when you feel like this. You can trust me. I love you, and I want to help you. Let me help you, all right? Please talk to me."
Riku looks strange. Naminé has trouble thinking of a word to describe his expression. It is a mix of terror and relief. He can trust her not to let him down. He can talk to her whenever he feels down, and not feel guilty about it. Though he would rather deal with it on his own, and let her sleep at night and work all day thinking her boyfriend is fine, Riku knows that will not fly. Naminé wants his trust.
"Okay, I'll talk to you."
"You have to promise me."
"I promise I'll talk to you. I'll always talk to you."
Naminé smiles. This is a step in the right direction for Riku's mental health, and an opportunity for their relationship to strengthen. She swears she will never let him down for as long as she lives. Whenever Riku says he wants to talk, she will be there to listen. If he needs a hug, she will provide it. If he needs anything at all, she will give it to him.
"Thank you." She brushes her fingers against his hair. "You should take a shower and put on clean clothes. I'll wait for you in the living room, all right?" Naminé is sliding her hand away from his shoulder when Riku grabs hold of her wrist, and kisses her palm. As small a gesture as it is, it is extremely intimate, and Naminé understands.
It is his way of saying "thank you".
