Characters and Myths Included in This Story Belong to Stephanie Meyer.
His angelic face smiled at me as he slowly faded away.
"Bella, why did you dream of me? You know what will happen…what always happens" His perfect face displayed an anguish that contrasted to the sheer beauty of his features.
"Its because you worth it" I whispered reaching out my hand in an attempt to keep him with me, to stop the pain and darkness that was returning. But my hand never touched him and he just stood there watching me as he slowly dimmed away. Now my sun was gone, darkness was all that was left. I refused to open my eyes and acknowledge that the dream was over, it wouldn't postpone my punishment but it helped me keep the ever-perfect image of his face burned into my mind. I curled up into a ball as the pain took over.
A hole where my heart used to be
I wouldn't fight back this time, not for Charlie, not for Renee, not even for Him. He had left Me. It was time for me to leave myself. I knew that I would become fully catatonic if I let the darkness engulf me, but I'd rather feel nothing than feel this. I breathed in deeply and screamed in preparation for what I was going to allow myself to become. I began convulsing with tears, No, I thought, the tears are all that's left inside me, all of me would be nothing... I can't I let them out.
I don't want to be catatonic. I have to be strong, I decided that I was being dramatic. Not dramatic in my love for Him, but dramatic in even considering leaving Charlie and Renee. The pain that would cause them... My convulutions became stronger as I struggled to fight back, two strong capable hands held me together, I was crying so hard I didn't notice them hold me. I did, however notice the pain begin to leave and my hole began to close slowly, as though the warmth from the hands held the cold from the pain at bay. "NO, Edward, why'd you leave" I let the screams slip, I wasn't supposed to say his name. It was a rule, I knew that, regret for my slip of tongue hit me like a cannon as the hole faught its way back; the strong hands pulled me closer, comforting me with their warmth, it wasn't until I was sure that the hole wasn't coming back tonight that I opened my eyes for the first time that morning.
The bright Fork's sun burned my eyes, those warm hands that saved me once again wiped the tears from my eyes distracting me from my pain for a fraction of a second. I looked at the face watching me,Jacob. I smiled, that's Jacob kept the pain away as always. I hugged him tightly and smiled at him. His russet face curled into a smile, allowing his life lines to show. I loved his smile, I looked up to meet his eyes and quickly turned away. His smile didn't reach his eyes, slowly I realyzed that he must have seen my whole episode. I quickly looked away in shame and didn't look back up at him until he pulled me back into him. Jacob, I thought, my best friend, I Love you. I contemplated saying those words out loud, but I knew he would get his hopes up. I was incomplete now; I'd never be able to love him like he loved me. I settled with a whispered 'Thank You' and found him nodding. I fell back asleep.
I woke up 2 hours later looked around frantically for Jacob, I began to yell his name but remembered Charlie.
"Did Charlie let him in?" I wondered aloud to myself.
"No." I turned on my heels and saw Jacobs tall frame walking up my stairs towards my room,his grin faded after I ran to him to gigve him another hug. I thought the reason for his serious face was because I had tripped on the hallway carpet on my way to him "I let myself in Bella, you really scared me" He really had seen everything that morning... I quickly tried to lighten the mood.
"Werewolf's? Afraid of me?" He looked at me warningly then told me to go brush and meet him in the kitchen; apparantly, we had plans for the day.
I nodded and gave him one last hug. He was wearing my favorite shirt, long sleeved and brown, a darker chocolate like his eyes. I turned around and walked carefully to my bathroom avoiding another fall. I almost made it all the way to the bathroom when I fell on tripped on one of Charlies slippers. I heard Jake chuckle, beet-faced I closed the door behind me.
I saw my reflection in the mirror and gasped in horror. My normally out of control brown hair had half fallen out of its bun over the night. It wasn't an attractive bun to begin with, perched on the very top of my head with an old elastic band holding it together. I shook my hair out of its current mess and took a look at my face.
No difference there, my eyes were surrounded by dark grey circles that had been there since He left. My cheeks were still sunken in and my eyes dull. I wondered if they were like that even when I was with Jacob. My stomach started to sink as I realized that if I stayed away from Jacob too long, the little happiness I had would soon disapear and I'd be falling back into the whole. Frantic faced and red-eyed I ran into the shower and in what felt like 20 minutes was ready to go out with Jake.
"Wow Bells, most girls take loads of time to get ready!" I found Jake in my kitchen, helping himself to last nights lasagna.
"Jake, what do you mean? I was up there for twenty minutes." I asked shocked, twenty minutes certainly wasn't quick.
"Nope, you've been upstairs for a little over ten minutes."
My face dropped, I smiled unsure of myself. He obviously thought I was in a rush to get back to him, I didn't want him to blur our relationship lines any more. I looked up and a lopsided grin formed on his face.
"What are you smiling about?" I asked, a bit defensive.
"You know you were just too excited to get back to me! Admit it Bells, I have that affect on females, it's nothing to be ashamed of!" I turned beet-red and walked over to him only to wack him over the shoulder, knowing it would hurt him.
"What was that for?!" He asked, his face frozen in disbelief.
"To show you the effect you really have on women." I patted hit his and sat down beside him. "Now, what are you making me for breakfast?" Jakes face changed from disbelief to shock. It was nice keeping him on his toes.
"Are you sure you want a teenage werewolf using any of the heavy machinery in your home?" He retorted, I froze, Jake would probably never have an accident in the kitchen but the mental image of a werewolf wearing an apron and cooking me age rendered me helpless with laughter. Jake stared at me incredulous, wondering why I was laughing, his face made me imagine a werewolf Jake standing in his place with an apron on and that put me over the edge.
"Bella you really are something" Jacob said, shaking his head as he pulled milk out of the fridge and a box of cereal from the cupboard. "Eat I'm watching ESPN in the living room."
"You know, you still haven't even asked what a 15 yr old werewolf was doing in your room this morning when you woke up" Jacob grinned at my forgetfulness. On our way to LaPush
My face became serious as I remember why I didn't ask, "You still haven't asked why I was the way I was this morning, so lets keep it fair" I said, hidden meaning dripping behind my words as I promised him in my mind. He will NEVER have to see me like that again. It hurts him too much.
Jacob looked at me, pain filling his eyes. He looked so sad for me I fought the urge to reach out and touch his face. His face was so beautiful when it was sad, so human-like and full of flaws; those flaws only made him even more beautiful. After a while of watching each other, I felt butterflies in my stomach and forced myself to turn away. I'm happy with the relationship we have now, I convinced myself. . I turned my face away from his just in time to see a cat crossing the road.
"JACOB!! DON'T KILL IT!" I screamed, Jacob looked back at the road and hit the breaks just in time. I wasn't wearing my seat belt and flew towards the front window but I was bounced backwards by myairbags. Jacob however remained in his seat. He opened his seat-belt, took one look at me and jumped out of the car to inspect his tires. Angry with him for not checking on me first I decided to get out of his car and sit outside giving him the cold shoulder. My plan would have worked brilliantly had I not been too weak to unbuckle my seat belt. I struggled with it for at least 15 minutes when Jacob finally came over and swiftly unbuckled my seatbelt and began helping me out of my seat.
As soon as I was out I peeked a glance at him to see if he had realized I wasn't happy with him; he was obviously trying to contain a laugh. I glared at him, Arrogant Werewolf I thought as I stormed away and tripped on a rock in the road. At this Jacob burst out laughing on the hard cement of the road. He was rolling around in ways that would give a normal person rug burn. It made me even madder and I sat down facing opposite Jacob. When he finally calmed down and became silent, I began to wish for the noise of his obnoxious laughter over the dreadful silence; I couldn't hear or see what he was doing and that made me nervous.
"Bellaaa" A sing songy voice called from right behind my ear, I could feel his hot breath on my face and jumped startled, at this he smirked but at the risk of making me madder he contained another laugh and sat down beside me. I glared at him one more time, squinting my eyes for effect. "Bella don't be mad at me! I knew you were okay!! If I thought anything had happened to you, you know I'd have helped you first!"
I turned away, knowing he was telling the truth. My countless accidents on our motorcycles had proven that Jacob was a bit too overprotective. For the principle of it however, I continued to ignore him. Smiling on the inside at my power of him. He made a last attempt at gaining my forgiveness and gave me his puppy dog eyes. I sighed, Jake was like the brother I wish I could have had, I can't say no to those eyes even if he had abandoned me. Knowing he was forgiven Jake said what he'd obviously been wanted to say since the accident.
"To tell you the truth Bells it was irresponsible of me to take you out of the protection of those airbags and expose you to your own clumsiness again. Forgive me?" I laughed, and playfully punched him in the stomach, hard, he pretended to be hurt however and rolled over with the dramatics. "
Your forgiven" I said, I gave in and asked,
"Now, what's the damage to the Rabbit", my curiosity getting the better of me. I knew how much his car meant to him
"I knew you cared Bella!" He said, happy that I asked," Well" He put his arm around my shoulder as we walked back to the car. "The car is fine, but my emotional well-being is a bit scarred from the accident. I need healing". I looked at him, he knew he was pushing his luck but I owed him so much. I would still be in my room rank with pain if not for him. I shook my head telling myself NO don't think of that and walked out from under Jacobs arm to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
"Better?" I asked, trying to ignore the conscientus voice inside my head telling me lines were blurring,
"Much" My sun responded as we walked back to the car. I noticed my airbag was already put away. I sighed why am I always the human? I wondered.
Jake heard my sigh, "Bells, I was kidding about keeping you surrounded with an air bag, If you want one though I know a place…." I playfully hit his shoulder and motioned to the drivers seat,
"Where to boss?" I asked.
"Well… the guys and I are getting together at Emily's. I thought we'd go there."
I smiled at the thought, since They left I never felt as good as I do in LaPush. They were my family now, I thought to myself. They Left They never loved me. Jacob and the gang however, would never leave.